Waiting 30+ to have kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was finished with having 3 kids by 27 (had them at 19, 24, 27). Obviously the one at 19 was an "oopsie", but it's worked out perfectly and can't imagine it any other way at this point. Owned a 5 bedroom house in a nice suburb at 26 and was able to be a SAHM for several years. I have a master's degree, a great job with flexibility, kids active in multiple travel sports that cost me in excess of $50k/yr.

So that comment about people being in a lower class when they have kids young is quite laughable. You're probably jealous you didn't have the means to be able to afford a child before 40.

Now my friends I went to high school/college with are dealing with diapers and sleepless nights at 40+, and then gonna be dealing with back to school nights and playdates in their 40's-50s, and paying off college in their 60's. F that. I can do whatever I want because my kids are old enough to take care of themselves now and I'm only 40. That's another 40ish years of life I have to enjoy with my kids and do what I please, when I please.

Oopsie baby takes you out of the running as anyone to take advice from.

We loved dealing with infants as actual adults, not teenagers.

Haha, right. Because all babies are planned. I'd like to see the percentages on parents who actually planned out their child versus just got pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was finished with having 3 kids by 27 (had them at 19, 24, 27). Obviously the one at 19 was an "oopsie", but it's worked out perfectly and can't imagine it any other way at this point. Owned a 5 bedroom house in a nice suburb at 26 and was able to be a SAHM for several years. I have a master's degree, a great job with flexibility, kids active in multiple travel sports that cost me in excess of $50k/yr.

So that comment about people being in a lower class when they have kids young is quite laughable. You're probably jealous you didn't have the means to be able to afford a child before 40.

Now my friends I went to high school/college with are dealing with diapers and sleepless nights at 40+, and then gonna be dealing with back to school nights and playdates in their 40's-50s, and paying off college in their 60's. F that. I can do whatever I want because my kids are old enough to take care of themselves now and I'm only 40. That's another 40ish years of life I have to enjoy with my kids and do what I please, when I please.

Oh, also I'm not gonna be 70 before I get a grandchild so I'll also be able to enjoy my grandkids when I'm young. I am encouraging my kids to have them sooner rather than later as well, and I'll be able to help them with whatever they need to be able to do that.

Well you seem super insecure and insufferable so even if your kids give you grandkids when you're in your 50s, odds are good they'll be steering clear of judgy Grandma who just wants to tell them all what a genius she was for getting knocked up at 19. But enjoy.

Yes. Totally insecure and obviously insufferable I'm enjoying life right now and my kids are better than fine. Actually, doing much better than some of these older parents who judge, but can't seem to raise a kind, compassionate, respectful kid. You'd think if you waited until you're 40 to start having kids, you'd know how to parent them well-enough not to be a-holes. But that's certainly not the case with all the spoiled, entitled and disrespectful kids we have running around this area (an area where you're "supposed" to have them when you're older with more life experience).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was finished with having 3 kids by 27 (had them at 19, 24, 27). Obviously the one at 19 was an "oopsie", but it's worked out perfectly and can't imagine it any other way at this point. Owned a 5 bedroom house in a nice suburb at 26 and was able to be a SAHM for several years. I have a master's degree, a great job with flexibility, kids active in multiple travel sports that cost me in excess of $50k/yr.

So that comment about people being in a lower class when they have kids young is quite laughable. You're probably jealous you didn't have the means to be able to afford a child before 40.

Now my friends I went to high school/college with are dealing with diapers and sleepless nights at 40+, and then gonna be dealing with back to school nights and playdates in their 40's-50s, and paying off college in their 60's. F that. I can do whatever I want because my kids are old enough to take care of themselves now and I'm only 40. That's another 40ish years of life I have to enjoy with my kids and do what I please, when I please.

Oopsie baby takes you out of the running as anyone to take advice from.

We loved dealing with infants as actual adults, not teenagers.

So, because I was 19, I couldn't love/deal with my child? That's one of the most idiotic comments I've ever gotten. I'm sure it was really bad for him as a baby/child having a mom stay at home with him and provide him with everything he wanted and needed. Poor kid. Should've waited 20 years to have him so he could have the exact same life and 20 less years with his mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was finished with having 3 kids by 27 (had them at 19, 24, 27). Obviously the one at 19 was an "oopsie", but it's worked out perfectly and can't imagine it any other way at this point. Owned a 5 bedroom house in a nice suburb at 26 and was able to be a SAHM for several years. I have a master's degree, a great job with flexibility, kids active in multiple travel sports that cost me in excess of $50k/yr.

So that comment about people being in a lower class when they have kids young is quite laughable. You're probably jealous you didn't have the means to be able to afford a child before 40.

Now my friends I went to high school/college with are dealing with diapers and sleepless nights at 40+, and then gonna be dealing with back to school nights and playdates in their 40's-50s, and paying off college in their 60's. F that. I can do whatever I want because my kids are old enough to take care of themselves now and I'm only 40. That's another 40ish years of life I have to enjoy with my kids and do what I please, when I please.

Oopsie baby takes you out of the running as anyone to take advice from.

We loved dealing with infants as actual adults, not teenagers.

So, because I was 19, I couldn't love/deal with my child? That's one of the most idiotic comments I've ever gotten. I'm sure it was really bad for him as a baby/child having a mom stay at home with him and provide him with everything he wanted and needed. Poor kid. Should've waited 20 years to have him so he could have the exact same life and 20 less years with his mother.

You still sound like you are 19.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was finished with having 3 kids by 27 (had them at 19, 24, 27). Obviously the one at 19 was an "oopsie", but it's worked out perfectly and can't imagine it any other way at this point. Owned a 5 bedroom house in a nice suburb at 26 and was able to be a SAHM for several years. I have a master's degree, a great job with flexibility, kids active in multiple travel sports that cost me in excess of $50k/yr.

So that comment about people being in a lower class when they have kids young is quite laughable. You're probably jealous you didn't have the means to be able to afford a child before 40.

Now my friends I went to high school/college with are dealing with diapers and sleepless nights at 40+, and then gonna be dealing with back to school nights and playdates in their 40's-50s, and paying off college in their 60's. F that. I can do whatever I want because my kids are old enough to take care of themselves now and I'm only 40. That's another 40ish years of life I have to enjoy with my kids and do what I please, when I please.

Oopsie baby takes you out of the running as anyone to take advice from.

We loved dealing with infants as actual adults, not teenagers.

So, because I was 19, I couldn't love/deal with my child? That's one of the most idiotic comments I've ever gotten. I'm sure it was really bad for him as a baby/child having a mom stay at home with him and provide him with everything he wanted and needed. Poor kid. Should've waited 20 years to have him so he could have the exact same life and 20 less years with his mother.

Having been born to an uneducated 20 year own, I know your type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who has kids before 30 these days?

Lower middle class folks

Nah, go to a fancy private school. The parents have their first around 25 or around 40, not many in their 30s..... but those are mostly UC/UMC folks. Maybe LMC also have them young but live in the burbs - I would know.

My twins go to private school and I had them at 34. I am the exact same age (graduated from college the same year) as the majority of their friend's moms.

Top tier private, not catholic or church school.

For catholic school around here, you're actually around the median age too for the middle kid if that makes sense. Lots of Catholic families I know who have 3+ that start around 30 and finish shortly after 40.

[Anonymous]

If you wait, be prepared for fertility struggles. I’m 32 and just had a 2nd tri miscarriage which has been heartbreaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had 3 kids when I was 35-41.
If I were you OP I’d examine the reason you don’t want to have kids now. It may be the the same reason you won’t want kids after age 30.
No judgement here. Kids are a lot of work.
FYI I also had 2 miscarriages in my 30s.

This is SUCH a good point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was finished with having 3 kids by 27 (had them at 19, 24, 27). Obviously the one at 19 was an "oopsie", but it's worked out perfectly and can't imagine it any other way at this point. Owned a 5 bedroom house in a nice suburb at 26 and was able to be a SAHM for several years. I have a master's degree, a great job with flexibility, kids active in multiple travel sports that cost me in excess of $50k/yr.

So that comment about people being in a lower class when they have kids young is quite laughable. You're probably jealous you didn't have the means to be able to afford a child before 40.

Now my friends I went to high school/college with are dealing with diapers and sleepless nights at 40+, and then gonna be dealing with back to school nights and playdates in their 40's-50s, and paying off college in their 60's. F that. I can do whatever I want because my kids are old enough to take care of themselves now and I'm only 40. That's another 40ish years of life I have to enjoy with my kids and do what I please, when I please.

Oopsie baby takes you out of the running as anyone to take advice from.

We loved dealing with infants as actual adults, not teenagers.

Oh come on. Accidental pregnancies are extremely common (36 out of 1000 women in 2019 alone had one!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was finished with having 3 kids by 27 (had them at 19, 24, 27). Obviously the one at 19 was an "oopsie", but it's worked out perfectly and can't imagine it any other way at this point. Owned a 5 bedroom house in a nice suburb at 26 and was able to be a SAHM for several years. I have a master's degree, a great job with flexibility, kids active in multiple travel sports that cost me in excess of $50k/yr.

So that comment about people being in a lower class when they have kids young is quite laughable. You're probably jealous you didn't have the means to be able to afford a child before 40.

Now my friends I went to high school/college with are dealing with diapers and sleepless nights at 40+, and then gonna be dealing with back to school nights and playdates in their 40's-50s, and paying off college in their 60's. F that. I can do whatever I want because my kids are old enough to take care of themselves now and I'm only 40. That's another 40ish years of life I have to enjoy with my kids and do what I please, when I please.

Oopsie baby takes you out of the running as anyone to take advice from.

We loved dealing with infants as actual adults, not teenagers.

So, because I was 19, I couldn't love/deal with my child? That's one of the most idiotic comments I've ever gotten. I'm sure it was really bad for him as a baby/child having a mom stay at home with him and provide him with everything he wanted and needed. Poor kid. Should've waited 20 years to have him so he could have the exact same life and 20 less years with his mother.

Having been born to an uneducated 20 year own, I know your type.

That PP isn’t uneducated, did you read her post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We married at 26/27 after 1 year of dating and 1 year of engagement.

We had our child when I was 40.

We had a 12 year honeymoon of international travel, parties, fine dining, devoting ourselves in our dream careers. We also bought a house and established ourselves financially.

My DH also was able to do an ivy league fellowship fir a graduate degree.

We had some help with fertility but I ended up conceiving naturally.

Our timeline worked great for us.

Friends who had kids young divorced. Someone told me to put it off, because once you have kids, it's 20 years of sacrificing your own goals.

I had had a rough childhood and wanted love, fun, pleasure and travel. So waiting worked for us.

We had a 3rd at 40 and I worry about how little time they will have with us. I hope you at least gave your child a sibling?

My mom was 43 when my sister was born and my parents are still around over 30 years later. Whereas my grandma had my mom young and was gone from cancer when my mom was 20, younger than when my mom had my sister.

Okay? These are outlier cases. In general you will have fewer year with kids if have that much later and you are more likely to die before they are married and fully launched. Statistics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was finished with having 3 kids by 27 (had them at 19, 24, 27). Obviously the one at 19 was an "oopsie", but it's worked out perfectly and can't imagine it any other way at this point. Owned a 5 bedroom house in a nice suburb at 26 and was able to be a SAHM for several years. I have a master's degree, a great job with flexibility, kids active in multiple travel sports that cost me in excess of $50k/yr.

So that comment about people being in a lower class when they have kids young is quite laughable. You're probably jealous you didn't have the means to be able to afford a child before 40.

Now my friends I went to high school/college with are dealing with diapers and sleepless nights at 40+, and then gonna be dealing with back to school nights and playdates in their 40's-50s, and paying off college in their 60's. F that. I can do whatever I want because my kids are old enough to take care of themselves now and I'm only 40. That's another 40ish years of life I have to enjoy with my kids and do what I please, when I please.

So you or your baby daddy grew up rich, so things worked out? Shocking

[Anonymous]

Oh my! I had my two kids when I was 34 and 36. Live a little first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It all depends on your health and fertility, OP. I had my last viable pregnancy at 30. I had multiple losses after 30 and recently discovered they were due to a blood clotting disorder, that apparently I did not have before (?). Fertility plummets after 35, and all kinds of other problems crop up (like mine), so just be aware of that.

But I agree that if you do not want kids now, please do not have kids! Children need and deserve 100% of your commitment. If in doubt, then it's no.

My fertility is fine as far as I know. All my blood work and gyno checkups look good. I’m on a non-hormonal IUD so no waiting time once it’s taken out.

I’m healthy and fit. We eat well, workout, and we are pretty active.

That's nice but not a guarantee of fertility.

Have you had a fertility workup or do you mean just regular bloodwork. What matters is amh and afc.

This. You need fertility bloodwork, not regular bloodwork you’d get at an annual physical. They’re called Day 3 labs in the fertility world and your PCP or regular GYN can order them, but may not be best at reading the results (sometimes normal range can still be a flag for potential issues).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was finished with having 3 kids by 27 (had them at 19, 24, 27). Obviously the one at 19 was an "oopsie", but it's worked out perfectly and can't imagine it any other way at this point. Owned a 5 bedroom house in a nice suburb at 26 and was able to be a SAHM for several years. I have a master's degree, a great job with flexibility, kids active in multiple travel sports that cost me in excess of $50k/yr.

So that comment about people being in a lower class when they have kids young is quite laughable. You're probably jealous you didn't have the means to be able to afford a child before 40.

Now my friends I went to high school/college with are dealing with diapers and sleepless nights at 40+, and then gonna be dealing with back to school nights and playdates in their 40's-50s, and paying off college in their 60's. F that. I can do whatever I want because my kids are old enough to take care of themselves now and I'm only 40. That's another 40ish years of life I have to enjoy with my kids and do what I please, when I please.

Oopsie baby takes you out of the running as anyone to take advice from.

We loved dealing with infants as actual adults, not teenagers.

So, because I was 19, I couldn't love/deal with my child? That's one of the most idiotic comments I've ever gotten. I'm sure it was really bad for him as a baby/child having a mom stay at home with him and provide him with everything he wanted and needed. Poor kid. Should've waited 20 years to have him so he could have the exact same life and 20 less years with his mother.

Having been born to an uneducated 20 year own, I know your type.

That PP isn’t uneducated, did you read her post?

I sure did -- did you?

She's magically rich in her early 20s, she spends 50 grand on her kids' activities, and she wants them to breed early so she can be a young grandmother.

Yeah, there's nothing off about that story.