Advice - Fitting in With Other Black Kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's what we know. She can't be friends with those girls because they aren't befriending her. Perhaps that will change later, perhaps not. If you and she are interested in her developing a more diverse friend group, that may have to happen outside of school. Jack and Jill, the Links etc may be options if she isn't sporty.

I always chuckle when people mention joining Jack and Jill as a solution for Black kids who want to make Black friends. You can’t just “join” J&J because your Black child is struggling socially. You can’t even request an application to apply to the organization. You have to have at least one sponsor who is a current member AND you must be invited to apply when the chapter has membership intake—which in some cases is every other year. Then, the chapter members vote on prospective members (the number of applicants almost always exceeds the number of available spaces). Suburban chapters are usually easier to join than city chapters (but still not easy).

If OP tries to join the DC chapter (the OG big DC chapter, not the little one), good luck! There are members who haven’t been able to get their sisters and family members in.

Africans have no interest in these organizations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your daughter doesn't want to join the affinity group where she might be able to create friendships, then please tell her to leave those Black girls alone. Let them in peace.

We see where the mean girl behavior is coming from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's what we know. She can't be friends with those girls because they aren't befriending her. Perhaps that will change later, perhaps not. If you and she are interested in her developing a more diverse friend group, that may have to happen outside of school. Jack and Jill, the Links etc may be options if she isn't sporty.

These groups are even worse than what she is already encountering. These two groups are VERY African American and not at all welcoming of Africans. Remember these are the same groups that used to use the paper bag test to see if you were light enough to get in - that was happening even in the 70s. They are very superficial and have no interest in learning about or accepting other cultures.

Sad but true. My best friend grew up in J&J and even she won't join.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's what we know. She can't be friends with those girls because they aren't befriending her. Perhaps that will change later, perhaps not. If you and she are interested in her developing a more diverse friend group, that may have to happen outside of school. Jack and Jill, the Links etc may be options if she isn't sporty.

I always chuckle when people mention joining Jack and Jill as a solution for Black kids who want to make Black friends. You can’t just “join” J&J because your Black child is struggling socially. You can’t even request an application to apply to the organization. You have to have at least one sponsor who is a current member AND you must be invited to apply when the chapter has membership intake—which in some cases is every other year. Then, the chapter members vote on prospective members (the number of applicants almost always exceeds the number of available spaces). Suburban chapters are usually easier to join than city chapters (but still not easy).

If OP tries to join the DC chapter (the OG big DC chapter, not the little one), good luck! There are members who haven’t been able to get their sisters and family members in.

And I always chuckle when people proudly brag about how ‘exclusive’ this organization is. Most people have never heard of it, mainly because it has never accomplished anything of national or international significance. Never. I challenge you to go to a function with attendees who have significant wealth and/or influence and announce that you are in JJ. They will stare at you blankly and then laugh at you as you walk away. Once you step out into the real world, this organization has no significance. It’s like the tree in the forest that falls and no one hears it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's what we know. She can't be friends with those girls because they aren't befriending her. Perhaps that will change later, perhaps not. If you and she are interested in her developing a more diverse friend group, that may have to happen outside of school. Jack and Jill, the Links etc may be options if she isn't sporty.

I always chuckle when people mention joining Jack and Jill as a solution for Black kids who want to make Black friends. You can’t just “join” J&J because your Black child is struggling socially. You can’t even request an application to apply to the organization. You have to have at least one sponsor who is a current member AND you must be invited to apply when the chapter has membership intake—which in some cases is every other year. Then, the chapter members vote on prospective members (the number of applicants almost always exceeds the number of available spaces). Suburban chapters are usually easier to join than city chapters (but still not easy).

If OP tries to join the DC chapter (the OG big DC chapter, not the little one), good luck! There are members who haven’t been able to get their sisters and family members in.

Africans have no interest in these organizations.

Speak for yourself. There are Africans from several nations in my J&J chapter. Most are children of immigrants, but a few were born and raised in an African nation. They are all highly educated and accomplished women (for some reason, most are physicians or lawyers). They also tend to be either AKAs or Deltas. Perhaps these are the Africans who decided to embrace African-American society, which in turn, embraced them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's what we know. She can't be friends with those girls because they aren't befriending her. Perhaps that will change later, perhaps not. If you and she are interested in her developing a more diverse friend group, that may have to happen outside of school. Jack and Jill, the Links etc may be options if she isn't sporty.

I always chuckle when people mention joining Jack and Jill as a solution for Black kids who want to make Black friends. You can’t just “join” J&J because your Black child is struggling socially. You can’t even request an application to apply to the organization. You have to have at least one sponsor who is a current member AND you must be invited to apply when the chapter has membership intake—which in some cases is every other year. Then, the chapter members vote on prospective members (the number of applicants almost always exceeds the number of available spaces). Suburban chapters are usually easier to join than city chapters (but still not easy).

If OP tries to join the DC chapter (the OG big DC chapter, not the little one), good luck! There are members who haven’t been able to get their sisters and family members in.

And I always chuckle when people proudly brag about how ‘exclusive’ this organization is. Most people have never heard of it, mainly because it has never accomplished anything of national or international significance. Never. I challenge you to go to a function with attendees who have significant wealth and/or influence and announce that you are in JJ. They will stare at you blankly and then laugh at you as you walk away. Once you step out into the real world, this organization has no significance. It’s like the tree in the forest that falls and no one hears it.

You are clearly hating from outside the (J&J) club. None of the J&J members I know are interested in going to social functions to announce or flex their membership. J&J isn’t for everyone so why do you think we want to let random people know we belong? You sound silly and ignorant.