Serious roommate prob-what happened?
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Anonymous
Your daughter needs to tell her roommate that the on-call RA is there for emergencies - daughter can call them next time roommate wakes her up. Roommate should wake daughter only in case of Fire, or required evacuation. I was an RA, and we were trained that residents would contact us on our on-call nights. The RA's will figure out how to deal with Roommate. |
Anonymous
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It's unlikely this will be the last time your daughter is faced with roommate challenges. Sympathy and understanding will only go so far, in this case - until the roommate has the support she needs it's unlikely she can make any changes in her behavior. Your daughter needs her sleep or it will adversely impact her life.
It sounds like the roommate is having a difficult time adjusting - perhaps they dropped their meds, don't have the same access to a therapist etc. It definitely needs to be resolved. If your daughter has set the guidelines with her roommate and the roommate continues the behavior - Your daughter can try 1) explain the reasons behind her requests/boundaries (again) 2) Provide the next steps/consequences 3) document and set a time to meet with the RA (with or without the roommate). 3) Work with the RA/housing to find a new roommate/room. |
Anonymous
It's not up to your daughter to be a babysitter and nurse to her roommate. Empathy and compassion are very nice, but the roommate is abusing your daughter's kindness, which is unhealthy for her and your daughter. Catering to this student's dictates will only enable her and lead to her increasing her demands. I have a friend with Munchausen Syndrome who is supremely demanding. She has many good qualities but has burned through nearly all our mutual friends as she's so high maintenance. It would be in the roommate's best interest to learn about boundaries and respect for other people's needs earlier rather than later. My DC also had a roommate problem in her first year. She was paired with another student who liked getting up after 7 a.m., as did my daughter. However, this roommate insisted that her alarm went off every 10 minutes from 5 a.m. until 7 a.m. She would turn it off and go back to sleep. My daughter couldn't get back to sleep and became increasingly sleep-deprived. After trying to sort this out with her roommate, my DC took the problem to the RA, who came down on her side. That temporarily fixed things, but the roommate retaliated by throwing out some of my kid's belongings and became quite hostile. My DC continued to consult with the RA, and both students were eventually moved to other dorms. This student continued to have major problems with roommates until she got a single. My DC had a great relationship with her next freshman roommate. She also got along well with her sophomore roommate, although they had to negotiate how clean and tidy they wanted to keep their room (DC is neat and tidy; her roommate was kind of a slob  ). They remain great friends, and they both learned something about compromise.
DC had a single for her last two years at college, which she truly appreciated
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Anonymous
I didn't. And even if I had, I certainly wouldn't have shared a BEDROOM. |
Anonymous
NP. This. Of course you start with the RA. The RA then says polite, reflective things and offers some suggestions. They might also tell the students how to escalate with housing, or they might ask to check in again in a few days. The RA may also contact housing on her own. |
Anonymous
This. She needs to tel her to grow the f up. |