Serious roommate prob-what happened?

[Anonymous]

Tell roommate to stop.

Make this the RA's problem, and wake up the RA every time roommate has a "health issue."

[Anonymous]

The RA is paid to handle this crap. Your DD needs to talk to the RA today and tell her the next time the roommate wakes her up, she gets the RA involved. Repeat. And ask for a room change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Communication!
College is the first opportunity many kids have had to deal with conflict resolution.
Time to talk to roommate gently to explain:
- it's not ok to wake up or be disruptive from midnight to 7am, unless a fire alarm or emergency
- not ok to disrupt homework either.
and get earplugs and perhaps a sleep mask.

This is the type of thing I have talked to her about. Unfortunately the roommate (who I do feel badly for as she’s clearly struggling) claims these ARE emergencies. Like “I coughed up blood in the bathroom do you think I should go to hospital” “yes!” “No, I don’t want to, but I can’t really breathe so maybe? ” and on and on. And then the miracle improvement Thursday-Sunday am.

mental health referral for the roommate

[Anonymous]

“Oh, you coughed up blood. Call Sally. As the RA, she can help you.”

“Oh, you sprained your ankle since you went to be a couple of hours ago? Call Sally. As the RA, she can help you.”

“Oh, you can’t breathe? Call Sally…”

[Anonymous]

I would tell my DC to request a room transfer. This will not get better. Stress of college is a lot - even if one can get a full nights sleep. DC would have to move - virtually all colleges say the person reporting the issue is the one who needs to move. Ideally, get a room transfer this week, otherwise maybe at Thanksgiving break or at Winter break.

This will not get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The RA is paid to handle this crap. Your DD needs to talk to the RA today and tell her the next time the roommate wakes her up, she gets the RA involved. Repeat. And ask for a room change.

RA's are not paid. They might get free room, but there is plenty of competition for the RA slots, because social kids want the job.

Agree it is an RA question, OP - but the RA is not a parent, any more than your kid is your kid's roomate's parent.

Your kid needs to lay down the law - this room mate needs professional help - there is something going on beyond any other student's (including the RA's) ability.

Did your DC pick this room mate??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were your daughter I'd tell the girl "You wake me up one more time between midnight and 7am, and I will make sure you regret it."

lol this is what I would do. Are you also from New Jersey?

Lol, Queens.

[Anonymous]

I know of a different college roommate case with different - but at least as intolerable - facts. The victim requested a room transfer. It took maybe 2 days and there was university help moving all his stuff. They moved him into a different dorm, in a different group of dorms, with a decent roommate. He enjoyed the rest of his school year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The RA is paid to handle this crap. Your DD needs to talk to the RA today and tell her the next time the roommate wakes her up, she gets the RA involved. Repeat. And ask for a room change.

RA's are not paid. They might get free room, but there is plenty of competition for the RA slots, because social kids want the job.

Agree it is an RA question, OP - but the RA is not a parent, any more than your kid is your kid's roomate's parent.

Your kid needs to lay down the law - this room mate needs professional help - there is something going on beyond any other student's (including the RA's) ability.

Did your DC pick this room mate??

Try again. You can’t be this obtuse. Getting a pass on room feed IS GETTING PAID. That’s real money.

[Anonymous]

Did they not sign a roommate agreement? My kid’s school encouraged that. Either way (in writing or verbally), she needs to state directly that she needs more sleep (to do well in school/function/be healthy) and therefore asks the roommate not to wake her unless it is a true emergency.

Your daughter needs to self-advocate.

If that is not respected , she goes to the RA. Pretty straightforward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The RA is paid to handle this crap. Your DD needs to talk to the RA today and tell her the next time the roommate wakes her up, she gets the RA involved. Repeat. And ask for a room change.

RA's are not paid. They might get free room, but there is plenty of competition for the RA slots, because social kids want the job.

Agree it is an RA question, OP - but the RA is not a parent, any more than your kid is your kid's roomate's parent.

Your kid needs to lay down the law - this room mate needs professional help - there is something going on beyond any other student's (including the RA's) ability.

Did your DC pick this room mate??

Try again. You can’t be this obtuse. Getting a pass on room feed IS GETTING PAID. That’s real money.

They are still just college kids a$$hole. Probably just a year or two older than your kid. So, no this really isn't the RA's "job".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The RA is paid to handle this crap. Your DD needs to talk to the RA today and tell her the next time the roommate wakes her up, she gets the RA involved. Repeat. And ask for a room change.

RA's are not paid. They might get free room, but there is plenty of competition for the RA slots, because social kids want the job.

Agree it is an RA question, OP - but the RA is not a parent, any more than your kid is your kid's roomate's parent.

Your kid needs to lay down the law - this room mate needs professional help - there is something going on beyond any other student's (including the RA's) ability.

Did your DC pick this room mate??

Try again. You can’t be this obtuse. Getting a pass on room feed IS GETTING PAID. That’s real money.

Yep. At DCs school, it amounts to a little over $19k/year. That said, an TA can only do so much…they can’t make the roommate stop waking OPs child. Definitely loop them in, and escalate to the RD, housing office, etc. because the only real solution may be a room change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I were your daughter I'd tell the girl "You wake me up one more time between midnight and 7am, and I will make sure you regret it."

Are you in the mafia?

[Anonymous]

Just have your kid ask for a room change. This will not get better. It's not worth it to have to deal with it. And yes, unfortunately the kid NOT causing the problem is generally the one that moves.

My kid moved rooms and the process was really easy and quick. This happens every year and is not uncommon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were your daughter I'd tell the girl "You wake me up one more time between midnight and 7am, and I will make sure you regret it."

lol this is what I would do. Are you also from New Jersey?

Lol, Queens.

+1