Serious roommate prob-what happened?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The RA is paid to handle this crap. Your DD needs to talk to the RA today and tell her the next time the roommate wakes her up, she gets the RA involved. Repeat. And ask for a room change.

RA's are not paid. They might get free room, but there is plenty of competition for the RA slots, because social kids want the job.

Agree it is an RA question, OP - but the RA is not a parent, any more than your kid is your kid's roomate's parent.

Your kid needs to lay down the law - this room mate needs professional help - there is something going on beyond any other student's (including the RA's) ability.

Did your DC pick this room mate??

Try again. You can’t be this obtuse. Getting a pass on room feed IS GETTING PAID. That’s real money.

They are still just college kids a$$hole. Probably just a year or two older than your kid. So, no this really isn't the RA's "job".

+1

Other PP here. WTH kind of job do you think RA is?? Are you the parent who *tries* to contact the profs? LMAO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Communication!
College is the first opportunity many kids have had to deal with conflict resolution.
Time to talk to roommate gently to explain:
- it's not ok to wake up or be disruptive from midnight to 7am, unless a fire alarm or emergency
- not ok to disrupt homework either.
and get earplugs and perhaps a sleep mask.

This is the type of thing I have talked to her about. Unfortunately the roommate (who I do feel badly for as she’s clearly struggling) claims these ARE emergencies. Like “I coughed up blood in the bathroom do you think I should go to hospital” “yes!” “No, I don’t want to, but I can’t really breath so maybe? ” and on and on. And then the miracle improvement Thursday-Sunday am.

If the roommate is asking whether or not she needs to go to the hospital, that is a question she should be directing to her parent.

She might have anxiety.

Agree to document dates and stories.

Your daughter needs to be direct and then call in the RA

[Anonymous]

Gang up on the RA if you want your kid kicked out of housing QUICK, PP.

Then you are on your own, as you should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Communication!
College is the first opportunity many kids have had to deal with conflict resolution.
Time to talk to roommate gently to explain:
- it's not ok to wake up or be disruptive from midnight to 7am, unless a fire alarm or emergency
- not ok to disrupt homework either.
and get earplugs and perhaps a sleep mask.

This is the type of thing I have talked to her about. Unfortunately the roommate (who I do feel badly for as she’s clearly struggling) claims these ARE emergencies. Like “I coughed up blood in the bathroom do you think I should go to hospital” “yes!” “No, I don’t want to, but I can’t really breath so maybe? ” and on and on. And then the miracle improvement Thursday-Sunday am.

If the roommate is asking whether or not she needs to go to the hospital, that is a question she should be directing to her parent.

She might have anxiety.

Agree to document dates and stories.

Your daughter needs to be direct and then call in the RA

This is way over the RA's head. I would keep the RA out of it and contact housing, OP. The RA is another student. You know that, right? Some of these parents sound insane, and the colleges are well aware (and well prepared).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell roommate to stop.

Make this the RA's problem, and wake up the RA every time roommate has a "health issue."

This is not in the RA's job description, nor do you know that, nor should you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The RA is paid to handle this crap. Your DD needs to talk to the RA today and tell her the next time the roommate wakes her up, she gets the RA involved. Repeat. And ask for a room change.

RA's are not paid. They might get free room, but there is plenty of competition for the RA slots, because social kids want the job.

Agree it is an RA question, OP - but the RA is not a parent, any more than your kid is your kid's roomate's parent.

Your kid needs to lay down the law - this room mate needs professional help - there is something going on beyond any other student's (including the RA's) ability.

Did your DC pick this room mate??

Try again. You can’t be this obtuse. Getting a pass on room feed IS GETTING PAID. That’s real money.

They are still just college kids a$$hole. Probably just a year or two older than your kid. So, no this really isn't the RA's "job".

Wrong. This is their job. We were trained to handle disagreements on the floor, mental health concerns, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The RA is paid to handle this crap. Your DD needs to talk to the RA today and tell her the next time the roommate wakes her up, she gets the RA involved. Repeat. And ask for a room change.

RA's are not paid. They might get free room, but there is plenty of competition for the RA slots, because social kids want the job.

Agree it is an RA question, OP - but the RA is not a parent, any more than your kid is your kid's roomate's parent.

Your kid needs to lay down the law - this room mate needs professional help - there is something going on beyond any other student's (including the RA's) ability.

Did your DC pick this room mate??

Try again. You can’t be this obtuse. Getting a pass on room feed IS GETTING PAID. That’s real money.

They are still just college kids a$$hole. Probably just a year or two older than your kid. So, no this really isn't the RA's "job".

+1

Other PP here. WTH kind of job do you think RA is?? Are you the parent who *tries* to contact the profs? LMAO.

You really overestimate what RA's do. Do you even have kids in college? They let kids in who are locked out. They escalate issues to housing. They're not going to hold your snowflake's hand every time there is a slight issue. So, no that really isn't their job to mediate. Some schools don't even have an RA in every building. Can't run to them for every disagreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The RA is paid to handle this crap. Your DD needs to talk to the RA today and tell her the next time the roommate wakes her up, she gets the RA involved. Repeat. And ask for a room change.

RA's are not paid. They might get free room, but there is plenty of competition for the RA slots, because social kids want the job.

Agree it is an RA question, OP - but the RA is not a parent, any more than your kid is your kid's roomate's parent.

Your kid needs to lay down the law - this room mate needs professional help - there is something going on beyond any other student's (including the RA's) ability.

Did your DC pick this room mate??

Try again. You can’t be this obtuse. Getting a pass on room feed IS GETTING PAID. That’s real money.

They are still just college kids a$$hole. Probably just a year or two older than your kid. So, no this really isn't the RA's "job".

Wrong. This is their job. We were trained to handle disagreements on the floor, mental health concerns, etc

Not on off hours, we were not. If you wake me, you then become the problem - is that what OP wants?

Y'all have zero common sense. Your kids are doomed.

[Anonymous]

Ask for a room change due to unstable mental health of roommate. If not granted, document everything and start waking up RA for every little thing. Escalate if not handled after another couple weeks.

I would be worried about my own kids mental health if they’re not being allowed to sleep. Especially in this type of stressful time. I would consider it an emergency and yes I would get involved if my kid couldn’t handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Communication!
College is the first opportunity many kids have had to deal with conflict resolution.
Time to talk to roommate gently to explain:
- it's not ok to wake up or be disruptive from midnight to 7am, unless a fire alarm or emergency
- not ok to disrupt homework either.
and get earplugs and perhaps a sleep mask.

This is the type of thing I have talked to her about. Unfortunately the roommate (who I do feel badly for as she’s clearly struggling) claims these ARE emergencies. Like “I coughed up blood in the bathroom do you think I should go to hospital” “yes!” “No, I don’t want to, but I can’t really breath so maybe? ” and on and on. And then the miracle improvement Thursday-Sunday am.

I'm so sorry, OP. I advised going toe to toe on the drama, but maybe being mire firm is better. Either way, I hope things improve for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The RA is paid to handle this crap. Your DD needs to talk to the RA today and tell her the next time the roommate wakes her up, she gets the RA involved. Repeat. And ask for a room change.

RA's are not paid. They might get free room, but there is plenty of competition for the RA slots, because social kids want the job.

Agree it is an RA question, OP - but the RA is not a parent, any more than your kid is your kid's roomate's parent.

Your kid needs to lay down the law - this room mate needs professional help - there is something going on beyond any other student's (including the RA's) ability.

Did your DC pick this room mate??

Try again. You can’t be this obtuse. Getting a pass on room feed IS GETTING PAID. That’s real money.

They are still just college kids a$$hole. Probably just a year or two older than your kid. So, no this really isn't the RA's "job".

No one is saying the RA is a therapist who is going to treat a kid with mental illness. But it is the RA’s job to help students work through roommate issues like this and get kids resources they might need. OP’s kid is in a tough situation with her roommate. It’s is definitely the RA’s job to intervene. That IS exactly what the RA is supposed to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The RA is paid to handle this crap. Your DD needs to talk to the RA today and tell her the next time the roommate wakes her up, she gets the RA involved. Repeat. And ask for a room change.

RA's are not paid. They might get free room, but there is plenty of competition for the RA slots, because social kids want the job.

Agree it is an RA question, OP - but the RA is not a parent, any more than your kid is your kid's roomate's parent.

Your kid needs to lay down the law - this room mate needs professional help - there is something going on beyond any other student's (including the RA's) ability.

Did your DC pick this room mate??

Try again. You can’t be this obtuse. Getting a pass on room feed IS GETTING PAID. That’s real money.

They are still just college kids a$$hole. Probably just a year or two older than your kid. So, no this really isn't the RA's "job".

+1

Other PP here. WTH kind of job do you think RA is?? Are you the parent who *tries* to contact the profs? LMAO.

You really overestimate what RA's do. Do you even have kids in college? They let kids in who are locked out. They escalate issues to housing. They're not going to hold your snowflake's hand every time there is a slight issue. So, no that really isn't their job to mediate. Some schools don't even have an RA in every building. Can't run to them for every disagreement.

PP here. I am agreeing with you. Some of the parents want to have GALs in their snowflakes dorm.

NOT HAPPENING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Communication!
College is the first opportunity many kids have had to deal with conflict resolution.
Time to talk to roommate gently to explain:
- it's not ok to wake up or be disruptive from midnight to 7am, unless a fire alarm or emergency
- not ok to disrupt homework either.
and get earplugs and perhaps a sleep mask.

This is the type of thing I have talked to her about. Unfortunately the roommate (who I do feel badly for as she’s clearly struggling) claims these ARE emergencies. Like “I coughed up blood in the bathroom do you think I should go to hospital” “yes!” “No, I don’t want to, but I can’t really breath so maybe? ” and on and on. And then the miracle improvement Thursday-Sunday am.

If the roommate is asking whether or not she needs to go to the hospital, that is a question she should be directing to her parent.

She might have anxiety.

Agree to document dates and stories.

Your daughter needs to be direct and then call in the RA

This is way over the RA's head. I would keep the RA out of it and contact housing, OP. The RA is another student. You know that, right? Some of these parents sound insane, and the colleges are well aware (and well prepared).

Wrong. I WAS an RA. That is definitely the place to start. She is your way in to the Res Life system. Trust me. They train specifically to handle roommate discord, mental illness etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The RA is paid to handle this crap. Your DD needs to talk to the RA today and tell her the next time the roommate wakes her up, she gets the RA involved. Repeat. And ask for a room change.

RA's are not paid. They might get free room, but there is plenty of competition for the RA slots, because social kids want the job.

Agree it is an RA question, OP - but the RA is not a parent, any more than your kid is your kid's roomate's parent.

Your kid needs to lay down the law - this room mate needs professional help - there is something going on beyond any other student's (including the RA's) ability.

Did your DC pick this room mate??

Try again. You can’t be this obtuse. Getting a pass on room feed IS GETTING PAID. That’s real money.

They are still just college kids a$$hole. Probably just a year or two older than your kid. So, no this really isn't the RA's "job".

+1

Other PP here. WTH kind of job do you think RA is?? Are you the parent who *tries* to contact the profs? LMAO.

You really overestimate what RA's do. Do you even have kids in college? They let kids in who are locked out. They escalate issues to housing. They're not going to hold your snowflake's hand every time there is a slight issue. So, no that really isn't their job to mediate. Some schools don't even have an RA in every building. Can't run to them for every disagreement.

PP here. I am agreeing with you. Some of the parents want to have GALs in their snowflakes dorm.

NOT HAPPENING.

My bad. I misread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The RA is paid to handle this crap. Your DD needs to talk to the RA today and tell her the next time the roommate wakes her up, she gets the RA involved. Repeat. And ask for a room change.

RA's are not paid. They might get free room, but there is plenty of competition for the RA slots, because social kids want the job.

Agree it is an RA question, OP - but the RA is not a parent, any more than your kid is your kid's roomate's parent.

Your kid needs to lay down the law - this room mate needs professional help - there is something going on beyond any other student's (including the RA's) ability.

Did your DC pick this room mate??

Try again. You can’t be this obtuse. Getting a pass on room feed IS GETTING PAID. That’s real money.

They are still just college kids a$$hole. Probably just a year or two older than your kid. So, no this really isn't the RA's "job".

No one is saying the RA is a therapist who is going to treat a kid with mental illness. But it is the RA’s job to help students work through roommate issues like this and get kids resources they might need. OP’s kid is in a tough situation with her roommate. It’s is definitely the RA’s job to intervene. That IS exactly what the RA is supposed to do.

Yes, but other PP is absolutely convinced that the RA does not use earplugs on their off hours. LOL.

The other PP is in for a surprise, once reality hits them, and mommy and daddy are not there - because they have zero grip on reality. Never mind their kid.