I hate Mom Cliques

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Sixth grade parent still dealing with this crap and I’m so over it.

same happened before here and was part of a group too that wanted to exclude others. Its just so annoying and cant wait to be done with elementary.

It gets "better" (/s) in MS and HS - when the same ("I think I'm) "cool" moms try to live vicariously through their daughters, and micromanage the social calendar. Consider yourself warned.

Omg the number of moms I see who post pictures of their daughters’ social events, boyfriends, etc etc blows my mind. They are nutso.

Omg the number of people posting a picture of what they are eating for dinner blows my mind.

In other words, I don’t see how posting pictures of your kids and friends is any worse, or offensive, or “nutso” than the tons of other stuff people post.

Call me crazy, but I don't think a slice of pizza is having its privacy violated when you post a picture of it.

Ha, gotta love the posters who see nothing wrong with posting all about their kids’ and their own social lives on social media. I am understanding now that they really don’t know that other people think they are sad little insecure people. And that they probably think that those of us who don’t post don’t have social lives. 😂

Maybe they have their permission. You don’t know, so why the snark? I’m not on social media, but if you are- you should stop taking what others post personally or get off.

It doesn’t matter if you have their permission. Why do you need to share about your private social plans with people who weren’t there?? Why can’t you just share with the people who were there, the ones you cared to include?

I don’t and I don’t care if others do or don’t. Their intention is to share pictures of themselves/kids having a good time. If you are bothered by seeing that, move along.

You say you don't care but seem really intent on defending this unnecessary practice that does affect other people. No matter how many times you tell them to look away. What's it to you if people want to vent about it? If you're not actively doing it they're not talking about you.

It’s a delusion. There is no “mom clique.” So what exactly does OP “hate”? That sometimes people get together without her? Grow up

Why do you care if people like OP think the over sharers are jerks?

She posted on an anonymous board for comments. So…that’s how it works

Exactly. And many agree with OP but people are chiming in to say just look away. So people are commenting on that as well. If people can ask why OP cares about any of this, then the social media defenders can be questioned as well. I think the social media defenders don't like the idea that people are judging them for what they post.

You are questioning people for simply replying to the post- which is the whole purpose of starting a thread here- to get replies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Sixth grade parent still dealing with this crap and I’m so over it.

same happened before here and was part of a group too that wanted to exclude others. Its just so annoying and cant wait to be done with elementary.

It gets "better" (/s) in MS and HS - when the same ("I think I'm) "cool" moms try to live vicariously through their daughters, and micromanage the social calendar. Consider yourself warned.

Omg the number of moms I see who post pictures of their daughters’ social events, boyfriends, etc etc blows my mind. They are nutso.

Omg the number of people posting a picture of what they are eating for dinner blows my mind.

In other words, I don’t see how posting pictures of your kids and friends is any worse, or offensive, or “nutso” than the tons of other stuff people post.

Call me crazy, but I don't think a slice of pizza is having its privacy violated when you post a picture of it.

Ha, gotta love the posters who see nothing wrong with posting all about their kids’ and their own social lives on social media. I am understanding now that they really don’t know that other people think they are sad little insecure people. And that they probably think that those of us who don’t post don’t have social lives. 😂

+1. This message is not getting through though. I'm sure these are the same people with marriage on the rocks that send elaborate anniversary messages on the internet. To someone who lives in their house. For show.

That isn’t OP’s problem. She is mad about people posting pictures of their kids on Facebook. She is mad they are posting pics of their kids- without hers present. I’m sure if OP and her kid were at this gathering and a picture that included them was posted- she wouldn’t be here complaining

She is upset that her kid was not invited because the petty loser moms get off excluded little kids.

Why are the moms petty losers?
What makes her kid entailed to be included? Because she sometimes plays with them? Someone is always going to be excluded because you can’t include every person that may be friends with your child every time you have a gathering.

Yeah, there's a catch-22 here. We hate cliques because it stinks to be left out. But if we are in a group that always includes the same people, we are now in a clique. It's all in the eye of the beholder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Sixth grade parent still dealing with this crap and I’m so over it.

same happened before here and was part of a group too that wanted to exclude others. Its just so annoying and cant wait to be done with elementary.

It gets "better" (/s) in MS and HS - when the same ("I think I'm) "cool" moms try to live vicariously through their daughters, and micromanage the social calendar. Consider yourself warned.

Omg the number of moms I see who post pictures of their daughters’ social events, boyfriends, etc etc blows my mind. They are nutso.

Omg the number of people posting a picture of what they are eating for dinner blows my mind.

In other words, I don’t see how posting pictures of your kids and friends is any worse, or offensive, or “nutso” than the tons of other stuff people post.

Call me crazy, but I don't think a slice of pizza is having its privacy violated when you post a picture of it.

Ha, gotta love the posters who see nothing wrong with posting all about their kids’ and their own social lives on social media. I am understanding now that they really don’t know that other people think they are sad little insecure people. And that they probably think that those of us who don’t post don’t have social lives. 😂

Maybe they have their permission. You don’t know, so why the snark? I’m not on social media, but if you are- you should stop taking what others post personally or get off.

It doesn’t matter if you have their permission. Why do you need to share about your private social plans with people who weren’t there?? Why can’t you just share with the people who were there, the ones you cared to include?

I don’t and I don’t care if others do or don’t. Their intention is to share pictures of themselves/kids having a good time. If you are bothered by seeing that, move along.

You say you don't care but seem really intent on defending this unnecessary practice that does affect other people. No matter how many times you tell them to look away. What's it to you if people want to vent about it? If you're not actively doing it they're not talking about you.

It’s a delusion. There is no “mom clique.” So what exactly does OP “hate”? That sometimes people get together without her? Grow up

THIS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Sixth grade parent still dealing with this crap and I’m so over it.

same happened before here and was part of a group too that wanted to exclude others. Its just so annoying and cant wait to be done with elementary.

It gets "better" (/s) in MS and HS - when the same ("I think I'm) "cool" moms try to live vicariously through their daughters, and micromanage the social calendar. Consider yourself warned.

Omg the number of moms I see who post pictures of their daughters’ social events, boyfriends, etc etc blows my mind. They are nutso.

Omg the number of people posting a picture of what they are eating for dinner blows my mind.

In other words, I don’t see how posting pictures of your kids and friends is any worse, or offensive, or “nutso” than the tons of other stuff people post.

Call me crazy, but I don't think a slice of pizza is having its privacy violated when you post a picture of it.

Ha, gotta love the posters who see nothing wrong with posting all about their kids’ and their own social lives on social media. I am understanding now that they really don’t know that other people think they are sad little insecure people. And that they probably think that those of us who don’t post don’t have social lives. 😂

Maybe they have their permission. You don’t know, so why the snark? I’m not on social media, but if you are- you should stop taking what others post personally or get off.

It doesn’t matter if you have their permission. Why do you need to share about your private social plans with people who weren’t there?? Why can’t you just share with the people who were there, the ones you cared to include?

I don’t and I don’t care if others do or don’t. Their intention is to share pictures of themselves/kids having a good time. If you are bothered by seeing that, move along.

You say you don't care but seem really intent on defending this unnecessary practice that does affect other people. No matter how many times you tell them to look away. What's it to you if people want to vent about it? If you're not actively doing it they're not talking about you.

It’s a delusion. There is no “mom clique.” So what exactly does OP “hate”? That sometimes people get together without her? Grow up

Why do you care if people like OP think the over sharers are jerks?

She posted on an anonymous board for comments. So…that’s how it works

Exactly. And many agree with OP but people are chiming in to say just look away. So people are commenting on that as well. If people can ask why OP cares about any of this, then the social media defenders can be questioned as well. I think the social media defenders don't like the idea that people are judging them for what they post.

You are questioning people for simply replying to the post- which is the whole purpose of starting a thread here- to get replies

I'm asking a question. Which is also a form of reply. Why don't you just answer the question? Why do you care if people like OP can't stand the mom clique people posting kindergarten play dates? What's with the "grow up" answers? Why don't these people explain what they get out of sharing to family and friends flung far and wide pics from an exclusive kindergarten play date? Distant family surely don't care about kids they don't know. But your classmates parents might wonder why they weren't invited. The "Grow up" or "don't look" posters aren't being helpful or insightful whatsoever with their pithy comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Sixth grade parent still dealing with this crap and I’m so over it.

same happened before here and was part of a group too that wanted to exclude others. Its just so annoying and cant wait to be done with elementary.

It gets "better" (/s) in MS and HS - when the same ("I think I'm) "cool" moms try to live vicariously through their daughters, and micromanage the social calendar. Consider yourself warned.

Omg the number of moms I see who post pictures of their daughters’ social events, boyfriends, etc etc blows my mind. They are nutso.

Omg the number of people posting a picture of what they are eating for dinner blows my mind.

In other words, I don’t see how posting pictures of your kids and friends is any worse, or offensive, or “nutso” than the tons of other stuff people post.

Call me crazy, but I don't think a slice of pizza is having its privacy violated when you post a picture of it.

Ha, gotta love the posters who see nothing wrong with posting all about their kids’ and their own social lives on social media. I am understanding now that they really don’t know that other people think they are sad little insecure people. And that they probably think that those of us who don’t post don’t have social lives. 😂

Maybe they have their permission. You don’t know, so why the snark? I’m not on social media, but if you are- you should stop taking what others post personally or get off.

It doesn’t matter if you have their permission. Why do you need to share about your private social plans with people who weren’t there?? Why can’t you just share with the people who were there, the ones you cared to include?

I don’t and I don’t care if others do or don’t. Their intention is to share pictures of themselves/kids having a good time. If you are bothered by seeing that, move along.

You say you don't care but seem really intent on defending this unnecessary practice that does affect other people. No matter how many times you tell them to look away. What's it to you if people want to vent about it? If you're not actively doing it they're not talking about you.

It’s a delusion. There is no “mom clique.” So what exactly does OP “hate”? That sometimes people get together without her? Grow up

Why do you care if people like OP think the over sharers are jerks?

She posted on an anonymous board for comments. So…that’s how it works

Exactly. And many agree with OP but people are chiming in to say just look away. So people are commenting on that as well. If people can ask why OP cares about any of this, then the social media defenders can be questioned as well. I think the social media defenders don't like the idea that people are judging them for what they post.

You are questioning people for simply replying to the post- which is the whole purpose of starting a thread here- to get replies

I'm asking a question. Which is also a form of reply. Why don't you just answer the question? Why do you care if people like OP can't stand the mom clique people posting kindergarten play dates? What's with the "grow up" answers? Why don't these people explain what they get out of sharing to family and friends flung far and wide pics from an exclusive kindergarten play date? Distant family surely don't care about kids they don't know. But your classmates parents might wonder why they weren't invited. The "Grow up" or "don't look" posters aren't being helpful or insightful whatsoever with their pithy comments.

The problem is you. You view it as an exclusive play date. They view it as their kids and friends going out and having fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Sixth grade parent still dealing with this crap and I’m so over it.

same happened before here and was part of a group too that wanted to exclude others. Its just so annoying and cant wait to be done with elementary.

It gets "better" (/s) in MS and HS - when the same ("I think I'm) "cool" moms try to live vicariously through their daughters, and micromanage the social calendar. Consider yourself warned.

Omg the number of moms I see who post pictures of their daughters’ social events, boyfriends, etc etc blows my mind. They are nutso.

Omg the number of people posting a picture of what they are eating for dinner blows my mind.

In other words, I don’t see how posting pictures of your kids and friends is any worse, or offensive, or “nutso” than the tons of other stuff people post.

Call me crazy, but I don't think a slice of pizza is having its privacy violated when you post a picture of it.

Ha, gotta love the posters who see nothing wrong with posting all about their kids’ and their own social lives on social media. I am understanding now that they really don’t know that other people think they are sad little insecure people. And that they probably think that those of us who don’t post don’t have social lives. 😂

Maybe they have their permission. You don’t know, so why the snark? I’m not on social media, but if you are- you should stop taking what others post personally or get off.

It doesn’t matter if you have their permission. Why do you need to share about your private social plans with people who weren’t there?? Why can’t you just share with the people who were there, the ones you cared to include?

I don’t and I don’t care if others do or don’t. Their intention is to share pictures of themselves/kids having a good time. If you are bothered by seeing that, move along.

You say you don't care but seem really intent on defending this unnecessary practice that does affect other people. No matter how many times you tell them to look away. What's it to you if people want to vent about it? If you're not actively doing it they're not talking about you.

It’s a delusion. There is no “mom clique.” So what exactly does OP “hate”? That sometimes people get together without her? Grow up

Why do you care if people like OP think the over sharers are jerks?

She posted on an anonymous board for comments. So…that’s how it works

Exactly. And many agree with OP but people are chiming in to say just look away. So people are commenting on that as well. If people can ask why OP cares about any of this, then the social media defenders can be questioned as well. I think the social media defenders don't like the idea that people are judging them for what they post.

You are questioning people for simply replying to the post- which is the whole purpose of starting a thread here- to get replies

I'm asking a question. Which is also a form of reply. Why don't you just answer the question? Why do you care if people like OP can't stand the mom clique people posting kindergarten play dates? What's with the "grow up" answers? Why don't these people explain what they get out of sharing to family and friends flung far and wide pics from an exclusive kindergarten play date? Distant family surely don't care about kids they don't know. But your classmates parents might wonder why they weren't invited. The "Grow up" or "don't look" posters aren't being helpful or insightful whatsoever with their pithy comments.

The problem is you. You view it as an exclusive play date. They view it as their kids and friends going out and having fun.

OP's kid was their kids' friend. End of the year gatherings usually involve inviting your child's regular friends (not all the kids in the class.) To not invite this child seems strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Sixth grade parent still dealing with this crap and I’m so over it.

same happened before here and was part of a group too that wanted to exclude others. Its just so annoying and cant wait to be done with elementary.

It gets "better" (/s) in MS and HS - when the same ("I think I'm) "cool" moms try to live vicariously through their daughters, and micromanage the social calendar. Consider yourself warned.

Omg the number of moms I see who post pictures of their daughters’ social events, boyfriends, etc etc blows my mind. They are nutso.

Omg the number of people posting a picture of what they are eating for dinner blows my mind.

In other words, I don’t see how posting pictures of your kids and friends is any worse, or offensive, or “nutso” than the tons of other stuff people post.

Call me crazy, but I don't think a slice of pizza is having its privacy violated when you post a picture of it.

Ha, gotta love the posters who see nothing wrong with posting all about their kids’ and their own social lives on social media. I am understanding now that they really don’t know that other people think they are sad little insecure people. And that they probably think that those of us who don’t post don’t have social lives. 😂

Maybe they have their permission. You don’t know, so why the snark? I’m not on social media, but if you are- you should stop taking what others post personally or get off.

It doesn’t matter if you have their permission. Why do you need to share about your private social plans with people who weren’t there?? Why can’t you just share with the people who were there, the ones you cared to include?

I don’t and I don’t care if others do or don’t. Their intention is to share pictures of themselves/kids having a good time. If you are bothered by seeing that, move along.

You say you don't care but seem really intent on defending this unnecessary practice that does affect other people. No matter how many times you tell them to look away. What's it to you if people want to vent about it? If you're not actively doing it they're not talking about you.

It’s a delusion. There is no “mom clique.” So what exactly does OP “hate”? That sometimes people get together without her? Grow up

Why do you care if people like OP think the over sharers are jerks?

She posted on an anonymous board for comments. So…that’s how it works

Exactly. And many agree with OP but people are chiming in to say just look away. So people are commenting on that as well. If people can ask why OP cares about any of this, then the social media defenders can be questioned as well. I think the social media defenders don't like the idea that people are judging them for what they post.

You are questioning people for simply replying to the post- which is the whole purpose of starting a thread here- to get replies

I'm asking a question. Which is also a form of reply. Why don't you just answer the question? Why do you care if people like OP can't stand the mom clique people posting kindergarten play dates? What's with the "grow up" answers? Why don't these people explain what they get out of sharing to family and friends flung far and wide pics from an exclusive kindergarten play date? Distant family surely don't care about kids they don't know. But your classmates parents might wonder why they weren't invited. The "Grow up" or "don't look" posters aren't being helpful or insightful whatsoever with their pithy comments.

The problem is you. You view it as an exclusive play date. They view it as their kids and friends going out and having fun.

OP's kid was their kids' friend. End of the year gatherings usually involve inviting your child's regular friends (not all the kids in the class.) To not invite this child seems strange.

That is OP’s interpretation. Surely there are other regular friends that weren’t there as well, whatever that means. I assure you these girls aren’t doing everything together, always, anytime there is a gathering. This is normal and acceptable and not mean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Sixth grade parent still dealing with this crap and I’m so over it.

same happened before here and was part of a group too that wanted to exclude others. Its just so annoying and cant wait to be done with elementary.

It gets "better" (/s) in MS and HS - when the same ("I think I'm) "cool" moms try to live vicariously through their daughters, and micromanage the social calendar. Consider yourself warned.

Omg the number of moms I see who post pictures of their daughters’ social events, boyfriends, etc etc blows my mind. They are nutso.

Omg the number of people posting a picture of what they are eating for dinner blows my mind.

In other words, I don’t see how posting pictures of your kids and friends is any worse, or offensive, or “nutso” than the tons of other stuff people post.

Call me crazy, but I don't think a slice of pizza is having its privacy violated when you post a picture of it.

Ha, gotta love the posters who see nothing wrong with posting all about their kids’ and their own social lives on social media. I am understanding now that they really don’t know that other people think they are sad little insecure people. And that they probably think that those of us who don’t post don’t have social lives. 😂

Maybe they have their permission. You don’t know, so why the snark? I’m not on social media, but if you are- you should stop taking what others post personally or get off.

It doesn’t matter if you have their permission. Why do you need to share about your private social plans with people who weren’t there?? Why can’t you just share with the people who were there, the ones you cared to include?

I don’t and I don’t care if others do or don’t. Their intention is to share pictures of themselves/kids having a good time. If you are bothered by seeing that, move along.

You say you don't care but seem really intent on defending this unnecessary practice that does affect other people. No matter how many times you tell them to look away. What's it to you if people want to vent about it? If you're not actively doing it they're not talking about you.

It’s a delusion. There is no “mom clique.” So what exactly does OP “hate”? That sometimes people get together without her? Grow up

Why do you care if people like OP think the over sharers are jerks?

She posted on an anonymous board for comments. So…that’s how it works

Exactly. And many agree with OP but people are chiming in to say just look away. So people are commenting on that as well. If people can ask why OP cares about any of this, then the social media defenders can be questioned as well. I think the social media defenders don't like the idea that people are judging them for what they post.

You are questioning people for simply replying to the post- which is the whole purpose of starting a thread here- to get replies

I'm asking a question. Which is also a form of reply. Why don't you just answer the question? Why do you care if people like OP can't stand the mom clique people posting kindergarten play dates? What's with the "grow up" answers? Why don't these people explain what they get out of sharing to family and friends flung far and wide pics from an exclusive kindergarten play date? Distant family surely don't care about kids they don't know. But your classmates parents might wonder why they weren't invited. The "Grow up" or "don't look" posters aren't being helpful or insightful whatsoever with their pithy comments.

The problem is you. You view it as an exclusive play date. They view it as their kids and friends going out and having fun.

OP's kid was their kids' friend. End of the year gatherings usually involve inviting your child's regular friends (not all the kids in the class.) To not invite this child seems strange.

That is OP’s interpretation. Surely there are other regular friends that weren’t there as well, whatever that means. I assure you these girls aren’t doing everything together, always, anytime there is a gathering. This is normal and acceptable and not mean

I mean, I trust OP more to describe an event that happened in her own life than you. She says this was a group of girls her DD hung out with all year, and that her DD was the only member of the group not invited. If that's what she says, I believe her.

Also, a big issue with these conversations is how "mean" is defined. I don't think these women got together and decided "let's do something fun for the girls on the last day of school, but let's make sure not to invite Larla because her mom isn't part of our crew." I don't think OP thinks that's what happened either. She doesn't even use the term "mean". She's just saying it sucks because these moms are all friendly with each other and not necessarily with her (note she doesn't complain about this, it' just how it is) and as a result, her DD got left out of a fun activity with them.

OP's whole complaint is that at this age, kids rely mostly on their parents for arranging social engagements outside school, which means OP not being buddies with these women is a liability for her daughter.

It would have been nice for one of these women to think "hey the girls have been spending a lot of time with Larla this year, let's invite her -- I know we don't know her mom very well but this more for the girls." It's not necessarily mean NOT to do this, but it would have been the inclusive thing to do. For the record, it's what I'd probably do in that situation.

You are reading a bunch of nastiness into OP's post that isn't there. She's just saying the dynamic is a bummer. And it is, specifically for her daughter, who was left out of something her friends did only because of the social dynamics of the adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Sixth grade parent still dealing with this crap and I’m so over it.

same happened before here and was part of a group too that wanted to exclude others. Its just so annoying and cant wait to be done with elementary.

It gets "better" (/s) in MS and HS - when the same ("I think I'm) "cool" moms try to live vicariously through their daughters, and micromanage the social calendar. Consider yourself warned.

Omg the number of moms I see who post pictures of their daughters’ social events, boyfriends, etc etc blows my mind. They are nutso.

Omg the number of people posting a picture of what they are eating for dinner blows my mind.

In other words, I don’t see how posting pictures of your kids and friends is any worse, or offensive, or “nutso” than the tons of other stuff people post.

Call me crazy, but I don't think a slice of pizza is having its privacy violated when you post a picture of it.

Ha, gotta love the posters who see nothing wrong with posting all about their kids’ and their own social lives on social media. I am understanding now that they really don’t know that other people think they are sad little insecure people. And that they probably think that those of us who don’t post don’t have social lives. 😂

Maybe they have their permission. You don’t know, so why the snark? I’m not on social media, but if you are- you should stop taking what others post personally or get off.

It doesn’t matter if you have their permission. Why do you need to share about your private social plans with people who weren’t there?? Why can’t you just share with the people who were there, the ones you cared to include?

I don’t and I don’t care if others do or don’t. Their intention is to share pictures of themselves/kids having a good time. If you are bothered by seeing that, move along.

You say you don't care but seem really intent on defending this unnecessary practice that does affect other people. No matter how many times you tell them to look away. What's it to you if people want to vent about it? If you're not actively doing it they're not talking about you.

It’s a delusion. There is no “mom clique.” So what exactly does OP “hate”? That sometimes people get together without her? Grow up

Why do you care if people like OP think the over sharers are jerks?

She posted on an anonymous board for comments. So…that’s how it works

Exactly. And many agree with OP but people are chiming in to say just look away. So people are commenting on that as well. If people can ask why OP cares about any of this, then the social media defenders can be questioned as well. I think the social media defenders don't like the idea that people are judging them for what they post.

You are questioning people for simply replying to the post- which is the whole purpose of starting a thread here- to get replies

I'm asking a question. Which is also a form of reply. Why don't you just answer the question? Why do you care if people like OP can't stand the mom clique people posting kindergarten play dates? What's with the "grow up" answers? Why don't these people explain what they get out of sharing to family and friends flung far and wide pics from an exclusive kindergarten play date? Distant family surely don't care about kids they don't know. But your classmates parents might wonder why they weren't invited. The "Grow up" or "don't look" posters aren't being helpful or insightful whatsoever with their pithy comments.

The problem is you. You view it as an exclusive play date. They view it as their kids and friends going out and having fun.

OP's kid was their kids' friend. End of the year gatherings usually involve inviting your child's regular friends (not all the kids in the class.) To not invite this child seems strange.

That is OP’s interpretation. Surely there are other regular friends that weren’t there as well, whatever that means. I assure you these girls aren’t doing everything together, always, anytime there is a gathering. This is normal and acceptable and not mean

I mean, I trust OP more to describe an event that happened in her own life than you. She says this was a group of girls her DD hung out with all year, and that her DD was the only member of the group not invited. If that's what she says, I believe her.

Also, a big issue with these conversations is how "mean" is defined. I don't think these women got together and decided "let's do something fun for the girls on the last day of school, but let's make sure not to invite Larla because her mom isn't part of our crew." I don't think OP thinks that's what happened either. She doesn't even use the term "mean". She's just saying it sucks because these moms are all friendly with each other and not necessarily with her (note she doesn't complain about this, it' just how it is) and as a result, her DD got left out of a fun activity with them.

OP's whole complaint is that at this age, kids rely mostly on their parents for arranging social engagements outside school, which means OP not being buddies with these women is a liability for her daughter.

It would have been nice for one of these women to think "hey the girls have been spending a lot of time with Larla this year, let's invite her -- I know we don't know her mom very well but this more for the girls." It's not necessarily mean NOT to do this, but it would have been the inclusive thing to do. For the record, it's what I'd probably do in that situation.

You are reading a bunch of nastiness into OP's post that isn't there. She's just saying the dynamic is a bummer. And it is, specifically for her daughter, who was left out of something her friends did only because of the social dynamics of the adults.

Not reading any nastiness into OP. Just pointing out OP has no idea about the social lives of other girls. And whom they get together with and when. Just because her daughter plays with them sometimes, in way obligates the parents to invite her every time. They all have social lives outside of her daughter. There is no group. These are all individuals and they are not bound to each other

[Anonymous]

Look, the only problem here is that they posted on social media and OP saw it. If OP hadn't seen it or if they hadn't posted, then there wouldn't be an issue. The way around getting so easily offended is to get yourself off social media. This sort of thing will continue to happen and you need to start getting over it. I was definitely upset when I discovered my daughter's preschool bestie's family was good friends with two other preschool families and they got together all the time and never invited us, but then I realized that it's not about me, and my daughter didn't know or care. I got over it. I have my own friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Sixth grade parent still dealing with this crap and I’m so over it.

same happened before here and was part of a group too that wanted to exclude others. Its just so annoying and cant wait to be done with elementary.

It gets "better" (/s) in MS and HS - when the same ("I think I'm) "cool" moms try to live vicariously through their daughters, and micromanage the social calendar. Consider yourself warned.

Omg the number of moms I see who post pictures of their daughters’ social events, boyfriends, etc etc blows my mind. They are nutso.

Omg the number of people posting a picture of what they are eating for dinner blows my mind.

In other words, I don’t see how posting pictures of your kids and friends is any worse, or offensive, or “nutso” than the tons of other stuff people post.

Call me crazy, but I don't think a slice of pizza is having its privacy violated when you post a picture of it.

Ha, gotta love the posters who see nothing wrong with posting all about their kids’ and their own social lives on social media. I am understanding now that they really don’t know that other people think they are sad little insecure people. And that they probably think that those of us who don’t post don’t have social lives. 😂

Maybe they have their permission. You don’t know, so why the snark? I’m not on social media, but if you are- you should stop taking what others post personally or get off.

It doesn’t matter if you have their permission. Why do you need to share about your private social plans with people who weren’t there?? Why can’t you just share with the people who were there, the ones you cared to include?

I don’t and I don’t care if others do or don’t. Their intention is to share pictures of themselves/kids having a good time. If you are bothered by seeing that, move along.

You say you don't care but seem really intent on defending this unnecessary practice that does affect other people. No matter how many times you tell them to look away. What's it to you if people want to vent about it? If you're not actively doing it they're not talking about you.

It’s a delusion. There is no “mom clique.” So what exactly does OP “hate”? That sometimes people get together without her? Grow up

Why do you care if people like OP think the over sharers are jerks?

She posted on an anonymous board for comments. So…that’s how it works

Exactly. And many agree with OP but people are chiming in to say just look away. So people are commenting on that as well. If people can ask why OP cares about any of this, then the social media defenders can be questioned as well. I think the social media defenders don't like the idea that people are judging them for what they post.

You are questioning people for simply replying to the post- which is the whole purpose of starting a thread here- to get replies

I'm asking a question. Which is also a form of reply. Why don't you just answer the question? Why do you care if people like OP can't stand the mom clique people posting kindergarten play dates? What's with the "grow up" answers? Why don't these people explain what they get out of sharing to family and friends flung far and wide pics from an exclusive kindergarten play date? Distant family surely don't care about kids they don't know. But your classmates parents might wonder why they weren't invited. The "Grow up" or "don't look" posters aren't being helpful or insightful whatsoever with their pithy comments.

The problem is you. You view it as an exclusive play date. They view it as their kids and friends going out and having fun.

OP's kid was their kids' friend. End of the year gatherings usually involve inviting your child's regular friends (not all the kids in the class.) To not invite this child seems strange.

That is OP’s interpretation. Surely there are other regular friends that weren’t there as well, whatever that means. I assure you these girls aren’t doing everything together, always, anytime there is a gathering. This is normal and acceptable and not mean

I mean, I trust OP more to describe an event that happened in her own life than you. She says this was a group of girls her DD hung out with all year, and that her DD was the only member of the group not invited. If that's what she says, I believe her.

Also, a big issue with these conversations is how "mean" is defined. I don't think these women got together and decided "let's do something fun for the girls on the last day of school, but let's make sure not to invite Larla because her mom isn't part of our crew." I don't think OP thinks that's what happened either. She doesn't even use the term "mean". She's just saying it sucks because these moms are all friendly with each other and not necessarily with her (note she doesn't complain about this, it' just how it is) and as a result, her DD got left out of a fun activity with them.

OP's whole complaint is that at this age, kids rely mostly on their parents for arranging social engagements outside school, which means OP not being buddies with these women is a liability for her daughter.

It would have been nice for one of these women to think "hey the girls have been spending a lot of time with Larla this year, let's invite her -- I know we don't know her mom very well but this more for the girls." It's not necessarily mean NOT to do this, but it would have been the inclusive thing to do. For the record, it's what I'd probably do in that situation.

You are reading a bunch of nastiness into OP's post that isn't there. She's just saying the dynamic is a bummer. And it is, specifically for her daughter, who was left out of something her friends did only because of the social dynamics of the adults.

Not reading any nastiness into OP. Just pointing out OP has no idea about the social lives of other girls. And whom they get together with and when. Just because her daughter plays with them sometimes, in way obligates the parents to invite her every time. They all have social lives outside of her daughter. There is no group. These are all individuals and they are not bound to each other

We're talking about kindergarteners here. I actually think OP probably has a relatively good sense of the social lives of these kids -- their lives are very regimented and they are together in school all day.

I am betting if all these kids were in soccer together and not with OP's DD, and she saw something about a post-soccer get together, she wouldn't think anything of it. I think the issue was that this was a group her DD hung out with at school all year, and they all celebrated the end of school together but didn't invite her DD. That's all.

As kids get older, there is a lot more about social dynamics that parents don't know, and kids aren't necessarily in the same classroom all day plus activities become more significant. But at kindergarten, you basically know, especially in this specific situation.

It's okay for OP to feel bad about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, the only problem here is that they posted on social media and OP saw it. If OP hadn't seen it or if they hadn't posted, then there wouldn't be an issue. The way around getting so easily offended is to get yourself off social media. This sort of thing will continue to happen and you need to start getting over it. I was definitely upset when I discovered my daughter's preschool bestie's family was good friends with two other preschool families and they got together all the time and never invited us, but then I realized that it's not about me, and my daughter didn't know or care. I got over it. I have my own friends.

The problem is that they posted in on social media. Not that OP is on social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, the only problem here is that they posted on social media and OP saw it. If OP hadn't seen it or if they hadn't posted, then there wouldn't be an issue. The way around getting so easily offended is to get yourself off social media. This sort of thing will continue to happen and you need to start getting over it. I was definitely upset when I discovered my daughter's preschool bestie's family was good friends with two other preschool families and they got together all the time and never invited us, but then I realized that it's not about me, and my daughter didn't know or care. I got over it. I have my own friends.

Agree the biggest problem here is that OP found out about how these women got together with their daughters. This is a major reason I just never bother to add most school people to my social media. I don't want or need to know. My own social media is extremely locked down (or in the case of public accounts like Twitter or LInkedIn, I'm not posting about family/social stuff there) and I can't see myself posting an outing like that online -- the people who are interested in it are there. Occasionally I'll meet a parent through the school and will follow their professional account (like a mom I met who's a photographer, I follow her business account and have recommended her to people) but if they have private accounts, I'm not aware of it, and I don't connect with them that way.

School-based friendships are too ephemeral for stuff like that. People move, kids' friend groups change, dynamics shift as they get older. You have to learn that even if your DC makes a "best friend" in preschool or K or 1st or 2nd, the odds that you will now be lifelong BFFs with that family are extremely slim. Maybe after a few years if the kids stick together and you slowly develop affinity with the family. But take it slow and don't jump the gun, because it's much more likely that next year they'll be in different classes and you'll barely interact with these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, the only problem here is that they posted on social media and OP saw it. If OP hadn't seen it or if they hadn't posted, then there wouldn't be an issue. The way around getting so easily offended is to get yourself off social media. This sort of thing will continue to happen and you need to start getting over it. I was definitely upset when I discovered my daughter's preschool bestie's family was good friends with two other preschool families and they got together all the time and never invited us, but then I realized that it's not about me, and my daughter didn't know or care. I got over it. I have my own friends.

The problem is that they posted in on social media. Not that OP is on social media.

It's both. It's a stupid thing to post (and when people post stuff like that, I almost wonder if their goal is to make others feel excluded, because it's such a dumb choice). But also -- OP should not even be following these women on social media. If they are not friends, she doesn't need to be looking at what they post.

Life is better when you just don't know that much about what other people are doing.

[Anonymous]

I recently had an experience with a mom clicque. My kid was sitting on bleachers with four other kids. The parents of the four kids are really tight, I am friendly with them but not as tight. A mom of one of them comes up and calls each four of the other kids by name to come over and take a photo together, leaving my kid sitting there alone. I thought this was so weird. I take photos of kids a lot and even if there’s a stranger sitting nearby I include them!