Pediatrician + Family/Friend Making Comments About My Choice Not To Breastfeed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still find it funny that OP engages in nipple play frequently with her DH (she said it’s a big part of their intimacy) and wouldn’t even try BFing because of what it would do to her nipples! I guess we all have our priorities!

Why are you focusing on this? You sound super weird.

[Anonymous]

I never produced milk. None at all. So my second kid I never even attempted to breastfeed. When people asked I just said for whatever reason, I don’t produce milk. End of story. What else should I do? Starve my kid? It ended the convo. Also my pediatrician never asked for a reason and never suggested anything else. I said he’s formula fed they said cool and moved on.

[Anonymous]

OP - I am sorry so many people are bringing their weird misogynistic, mommy martyr hang ups into your thread. There are a lot of reasons people don’t breastfeed and they are often deeply personal. Once you said you aren’t BF, people should drop it. I am am sorry they are being rude.

My kids are late preschool/ early elementary and I can honestly say I have no idea how their friends were fed, when other kids walked or talked. It has been YEARS since anyone asked about their sleep or mine. In the early months and into the toddler years, every decision feels fraught and judged. But it ends. Thankfully.

For all the Breast is Best harpies - just stop. If BF was easy or enjoyable for you, that’s great - for you. We live in a country where most women have 0 maternity leave and return to jobs where pumping is all but impossible when they are 2,4,6 weeks post partum. Some women don’t have money for extra pump parts, nursing shirts, and all the things that make BD easier - but maybe their formula comes from WIC. If you don’t know what WIC is, maybe you don’t know how many people live. Some people have sexual abuse / assault / trauma in their past and while they were able to get past the one time event of birth, the daily act of BF over months or years is too much for them. No new mothers owes you a detailed explanation of her choice. All you awful people telling OP what she could have tried are probably the same awful people who ask your friend if she has tried “curing” her child’s autism with a special diet or sending essential oils to your friend with cancer. Unless you have good reason to believe someone is truly ignorant of options and would welcome suggestions- but out. When a new mom says she is formula feeding just say something neutral and change the subject to how cute the baby is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I am sorry so many people are bringing their weird misogynistic, mommy martyr hang ups into your thread. There are a lot of reasons people don’t breastfeed and they are often deeply personal. Once you said you aren’t BF, people should drop it. I am am sorry they are being rude.

My kids are late preschool/ early elementary and I can honestly say I have no idea how their friends were fed, when other kids walked or talked. It has been YEARS since anyone asked about their sleep or mine. In the early months and into the toddler years, every decision feels fraught and judged. But it ends. Thankfully.

For all the Breast is Best harpies - just stop. If BF was easy or enjoyable for you, that’s great - for you. We live in a country where most women have 0 maternity leave and return to jobs where pumping is all but impossible when they are 2,4,6 weeks post partum. Some women don’t have money for extra pump parts, nursing shirts, and all the things that make BD easier - but maybe their formula comes from WIC. If you don’t know what WIC is, maybe you don’t know how many people live. Some people have sexual abuse / assault / trauma in their past and while they were able to get past the one time event of birth, the daily act of BF over months or years is too much for them. No new mothers owes you a detailed explanation of her choice. All you awful people telling OP what she could have tried are probably the same awful people who ask your friend if she has tried “curing” her child’s autism with a special diet or sending essential oils to your friend with cancer. Unless you have good reason to believe someone is truly ignorant of options and would welcome suggestions- but out. When a new mom says she is formula feeding just say something neutral and change the subject to how cute the baby is.

OP is wealthy or at least earns a good income if her she can afford RTF formula. That stuff is expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I am sorry so many people are bringing their weird misogynistic, mommy martyr hang ups into your thread. There are a lot of reasons people don’t breastfeed and they are often deeply personal. Once you said you aren’t BF, people should drop it. I am am sorry they are being rude.

My kids are late preschool/ early elementary and I can honestly say I have no idea how their friends were fed, when other kids walked or talked. It has been YEARS since anyone asked about their sleep or mine. In the early months and into the toddler years, every decision feels fraught and judged. But it ends. Thankfully.

For all the Breast is Best harpies - just stop. If BF was easy or enjoyable for you, that’s great - for you. We live in a country where most women have 0 maternity leave and return to jobs where pumping is all but impossible when they are 2,4,6 weeks post partum. Some women don’t have money for extra pump parts, nursing shirts, and all the things that make BD easier - but maybe their formula comes from WIC. If you don’t know what WIC is, maybe you don’t know how many people live. Some people have sexual abuse / assault / trauma in their past and while they were able to get past the one time event of birth, the daily act of BF over months or years is too much for them. No new mothers owes you a detailed explanation of her choice. All you awful people telling OP what she could have tried are probably the same awful people who ask your friend if she has tried “curing” her child’s autism with a special diet or sending essential oils to your friend with cancer. Unless you have good reason to believe someone is truly ignorant of options and would welcome suggestions- but out. When a new mom says she is formula feeding just say something neutral and change the subject to how cute the baby is.

OMG you are spot on. They are the same creeps. Such awful people.

Signed,
Extended breastfeeder