ExDH marrying AP

[Anonymous]

A year and a half ago I was blindsided by my exDH’s affair. He is now about to move in with and marry his AP. We have two kids 8 and 10. The thought of this woman being their stepmother makes me feel horrible. if you’ve been through something like this, how did you get through?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A year and a half ago I was blindsided by my exDH’s affair. He is now about to move in with and marry his AP. We have two kids 8 and 10. The thought of this woman being their stepmother makes me feel horrible. if you’ve been through something like this, how did you get through?

Sorry OP unfortunately all you can do is hope that she is a good step mother. I heard from a colleague that another colleague had an affair with a married man and the guy left his wife for her. I always hear about these stories but never met anyone who went through it. Some people really have gut. How can you wreck lives this way and still live a normal life?

[Anonymous]

100% custody. Kids not interested in spending time with dad with her in the picture, though I forced it a few times, they got to an age where there was no forcing anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100% custody. Kids not interested in spending time with dad with her in the picture, though I forced it a few times, they got to an age where there was no forcing anymore.

Yeah sorry most parents get fifty fifty. You don’t get one hundred percent custody just because you were cheated on. Sorry to disappoint you

[Anonymous]

I am very sorry your exDH is a POS. However, both he and his AP will get the same treatment they dished out, 100%. Of the people I know who ended up doing this (just 3 couples) the ones that are still together are clearly just together because the shame and embarrassment of it not working out when you destroyed so many lives is too great. They are not happy.

[Anonymous]

Ask your exDH if he is willing to give you more custody days. He is currently high on love with his AP and take advantage. But of course the sl***t he is marrying may get in the way just to torture you further. They are both pieces of sh***t

[Anonymous]

You get over it and coparent just like you would in any divorce. You guys are no longer married, focus on yourself and finding your own happiness.

[Anonymous]

You focus on living your best life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You get over it and coparent just like you would in any divorce. You guys are no longer married, focus on yourself and finding your own happiness.

This. And as painful as it is to think about, if he is happy with the AP, he will be a better dad. You need to try to find your own way to be happy too. Being miserable or angry (even if you think you're hiding it well) is terrible for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A year and a half ago I was blindsided by my exDH’s affair. He is now about to move in with and marry his AP. We have two kids 8 and 10. The thought of this woman being their stepmother makes me feel horrible. if you’ve been through something like this, how did you get through?

Sorry OP unfortunately all you can do is hope that she is a good step mother. I heard from a colleague that another colleague had an affair with a married man and the guy left his wife for her. I always hear about these stories but never met anyone who went through it. Some people really have gut. How can you wreck lives this way and still live a normal life?

I have a distant cousin who went thru men like tissues and a single mom. She was the nanny for a couple and had an affair with the husband and then pregnant. The husband left the wife for my distant cousin. They're stil together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A year and a half ago I was blindsided by my exDH’s affair. He is now about to move in with and marry his AP. We have two kids 8 and 10. The thought of this woman being their stepmother makes me feel horrible. if you’ve been through something like this, how did you get through?

You get through it by being a wonderful actress. Your role is loving Mother to your children, which includes self-sacrifice. You talk up the AP and try and make things as comfortable as possible for your traumatized children. You text her thanks when she does something nice for your kids. You suck it up and move on, get therapy if this seems impossible. These forums are filled with stories of selfish divorced parents and the lasting impact it had on now adults. Life isn’t fair, there is not necessarily going to be some sweet Karmic retribution. Kids don’t learn later about affairs and hate the cheating parent- they follow your emotional lead every step of the way.

[Anonymous]

Therapy

[Anonymous]

Hold your head up high. My kids never accepted her and the relationship did not last.

[Anonymous]

You’re divorced. Stop letting him live rent free in your head.

Odds are this marriage won’t last.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask your exDH if he is willing to give you more custody days. He is currently high on love with his AP and take advantage. But of course the sl***t he is marrying may get in the way just to torture you further. They are both pieces of sh***t

This is a lot of extra vowels.