DD’s butt pinched in the pool

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear God. It's a butt. Everyone is so sad and angry because every Mole hill is turned into a mountain.

Now is a good learning opportunity about how to confront people and talk about what your boundaries are. But I disagree with the posters who think she should feel victimized here. Infact, I would applaud her for being so resilient and keeping things in perspective. It wasn't right. It's her body and no one has a right to touch it without her permission.
But an immature fool showed off to his stupid friends by pinching a butt. Meh. Life goes on.

Of course life goes on, you dumba$$. No one said her life was over or that she needs therapy. FFS.

But this is not a harmless prank. If it was so harless why the f* do you think she told her father and she was embarrassed by it?

It's no wonder we still have male predators in our society. People like you think it was a harmless prank, and boys should just be allowed to get away with sh1t like this.

I have a teen son, and if he did this, you bet he'd be in huge trouble.

Of course. But should he still be in trouble if he DIDN'T do it? Because that's what many on this thread are advocating for.

Then if he saw it, he should say something, otherwise, yes, he's complicit.

If a guy sees a woman being sexually assaulted by his friend, should he say something?

Obviously, pinching a girl's bottom is not as bad as rape, but that kind of contact is considered "sexual assault". So, what you are saying is that a boy should turn a blind eye to a girl being sexually assaulted by his friend.

When the whole Kavanaugh thing happened, I recall reading an article about how men anonymously posted about either witnessing the sexual assault or being the assaulter, though at the time, they didn't think it was considered assault, ie, touching a women without her consent.

One guy said that he knew that his friends were doing something bad behind closed doors to a girl who was drunk but he didn't do or say anything, didn't even check to see if she was ok the next day. He now realizes that he is part of the problem.

You people who think a boy who sees his friends doing this but shouldn't do anything about it or say anything are also part of the viscious circle. Society keeps saying to these boys that it's ok to touch a girl like that without her consent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dad should have screamed those kids out of the pool. I would have made a public spectacle and made sure everyone around knew exactly what happened. Then I’d have called the police. It is sexual assault and it needs to be called out. People have to stand up and stop hushing it up. Would dad have stood there if those kids punched his daughter?

I think this is too much. Would you do the same thing if it was a bunch of older girls who pinched a younger boy? Probably not. The teen girls at our pool constantly try to pull down the swim trunks of some of the younger boys to embarrass them. I’m not saying it’s right but I’ve never seen any of the parents of those kids intervene or scream or call it assault or call the police.

They should not be doing that! That is sexual assault and yes it’s not ok for girls to do that to boys.

Of course it’s not right but no one cares. No one is calling the police. No one would condone the boys punching those girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear God. It's a butt. Everyone is so sad and angry because every Mole hill is turned into a mountain.

Now is a good learning opportunity about how to confront people and talk about what your boundaries are. But I disagree with the posters who think she should feel victimized here. Infact, I would applaud her for being so resilient and keeping things in perspective. It wasn't right. It's her body and no one has a right to touch it without her permission.
But an immature fool showed off to his stupid friends by pinching a butt. Meh. Life goes on.

Of course life goes on, you dumba$$. No one said her life was over or that she needs therapy. FFS.

But this is not a harmless prank. If it was so harless why the f* do you think she told her father and she was embarrassed by it?

It's no wonder we still have male predators in our society. People like you think it was a harmless prank, and boys should just be allowed to get away with sh1t like this.

I have a teen son, and if he did this, you bet he'd be in huge trouble.

Of course. But should he still be in trouble if he DIDN'T do it? Because that's what many on this thread are advocating for.

If he was in that group of boys, he did contribute to the assault and if he doesn’t speak up, he should be in trouble. Are you ok with your son being a silent onlooker to assault?

Absolutely any of the kids in the group who (a) knew what was done; and (b) did nothing as a result -- didn't immediately get after their "friend" for doing something -- didn't immediately apologize for their friend's conduct -- they should be in trouble as well. Now -- the thing to keep in mind is they all already know what they should do, and they did not do it. Do you think any 13 year old boy does not know they should keep their hands off girls they do not know? Do you think that any 13 year old boy is unaware that if they are watching someone they know do something like pinch a girl they do not know on her butt that (a) that is wrong (b) that they should do something like immediately apologize and take action to distance themselves from the friend and the conduct.

No -- eleven year olds are not responsible for deciding on appropriate actions in the event of people doing bad things to them. They are embarassed it happened. They do not know what all the actions mean. They do not know what the likely alternatives response actions are. They do not know what happens in the future when no one takes any action. That's why grown ups need to get involved in situations like this.

What should be done? That likely depends on whether some or all parents of the boys are around. I would start with requiring an apology, and they would all get a short lecture on what their conduct amounted to, and a short lecture directed to the others on watching and not taking immediate action. By short, I mean about a 1 minute in total. I would also not leave the pool area right away. There is no "ha ha that was weird, but we got away with it" if you stick around (your daughter can leave). It then becomes a situation where everyone in the room knows those boys pinched a girl on the butt. It is important to show that there is no shame in being a victim of a sexual assault. There is shame in being someone who sexually assaults someone else.

Five years from now -- when one of those boys who stood by and then had to apologize is at a college party and sees someone unzipping the pants of a passed out drunk girl -- that lecture from years back might well cause him to put a stop to a crime happening in front of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who have said it was important for DH to support DDs wishes in this moment. As another poster said, she wanted to be heard and supported, not ignored and defended against her wishes.

I understand the impulse to want to yell at the boys and it isn’t fair that they didn’t face consequences but retaining your daughters trust is so, so important. She knows that she can talk to DH and trust him to respect her. If he was to yell and make a scene against her will she would have felt humiliated and likely would not confide in him if this were to happen again.

Consequences for what? "The boys" didn't do anything wrong. One did, that doesn't mean they all face consequences.

I think they all should. Either they fess up who did it so he can be banned, or they all get banned.

Bystander training - which is teaching bystanders what to do when they witness assault - is one of the most effective ways to prevent sexual assault. They all need to learn that being a silent witness is not acceptable, and they need to report males that assault females, even if it’s their friend.

Maybe YOU should be banned. You are no less culpable than they are. Follow your own "rules" and ban yourself from everywhere.

Could you explain this comment please? The PP was at the hotel pool when this girl was assaulted. You may be confused…

PP thinks that people who did NOT do anything wrong should be banned. I'm assuming pp also did not pinch OP's daughters butt, so she should include her self in those deserving of banned. Apparently EVERYONE should be banned. Shut down the pool!

Oh, I get you now. You think the boys that contributed to this situation didn’t do anything wrong. Would you like to defend their actions to the eleven year old girl? Do you think she would feel safe with any of those boys knowing that they targeted her? What would you say to her?

"PP thinks that people who did NOT do anything wrong should be banned. I'm assuming pp also did not pinch OP's daughters butt, so she should include her self in those deserving of banned. Apparently EVERYONE should be banned. Shut down the pool!

"

Ding, Ding Ding worst post on social media today.

What an idiot. As usual a Trumper being dumb.


Ding . Ding Ding worst post on social media today.

What an idiot. As usual a hypocrite being dumb. Go ban yourself from society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who have said it was important for DH to support DDs wishes in this moment. As another poster said, she wanted to be heard and supported, not ignored and defended against her wishes.

I understand the impulse to want to yell at the boys and it isn’t fair that they didn’t face consequences but retaining your daughters trust is so, so important. She knows that she can talk to DH and trust him to respect her. If he was to yell and make a scene against her will she would have felt humiliated and likely would not confide in him if this were to happen again.

Consequences for what? "The boys" didn't do anything wrong. One did, that doesn't mean they all face consequences.

I think they all should. Either they fess up who did it so he can be banned, or they all get banned.

Bystander training - which is teaching bystanders what to do when they witness assault - is one of the most effective ways to prevent sexual assault. They all need to learn that being a silent witness is not acceptable, and they need to report males that assault females, even if it’s their friend.

Maybe YOU should be banned. You are no less culpable than they are. Follow your own "rules" and ban yourself from everywhere.

Could you explain this comment please? The PP was at the hotel pool when this girl was assaulted. You may be confused…

PP thinks that people who did NOT do anything wrong should be banned. I'm assuming pp also did not pinch OP's daughters butt, so she should include her self in those deserving of banned. Apparently EVERYONE should be banned. Shut down the pool!

Oh, I get you now. You think the boys that contributed to this situation didn’t do anything wrong. Would you like to defend their actions to the eleven year old girl? Do you think she would feel safe with any of those boys knowing that they targeted her? What would you say to her?

There is no reason to believe they "contributed to it" any more than YOU (someone who was not there) did. What will YOU say to that 11 year old girl and YOUR contribution to it? You had just as much a role in this assault as they did, yet you want to hold children accountable and not yourself. Disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who have said it was important for DH to support DDs wishes in this moment. As another poster said, she wanted to be heard and supported, not ignored and defended against her wishes.

I understand the impulse to want to yell at the boys and it isn’t fair that they didn’t face consequences but retaining your daughters trust is so, so important. She knows that she can talk to DH and trust him to respect her. If he was to yell and make a scene against her will she would have felt humiliated and likely would not confide in him if this were to happen again.

Consequences for what? "The boys" didn't do anything wrong. One did, that doesn't mean they all face consequences.

I think they all should. Either they fess up who did it so he can be banned, or they all get banned.

Bystander training - which is teaching bystanders what to do when they witness assault - is one of the most effective ways to prevent sexual assault. They all need to learn that being a silent witness is not acceptable, and they need to report males that assault females, even if it’s their friend.

Maybe YOU should be banned. You are no less culpable than they are. Follow your own "rules" and ban yourself from everywhere.

Could you explain this comment please? The PP was at the hotel pool when this girl was assaulted. You may be confused…

PP thinks that people who did NOT do anything wrong should be banned. I'm assuming pp also did not pinch OP's daughters butt, so she should include her self in those deserving of banned. Apparently EVERYONE should be banned. Shut down the pool!

Oh, I get you now. You think the boys that contributed to this situation didn’t do anything wrong. Would you like to defend their actions to the eleven year old girl? Do you think she would feel safe with any of those boys knowing that they targeted her? What would you say to her?

There is no reason to believe they "contributed to it" any more than YOU (someone who was not there) did. What will YOU say to that 11 year old girl and YOUR contribution to it? You had just as much a role in this assault as they did, yet you want to hold children accountable and not yourself. Disgusting.

They were part of a group that targeted that girl. A younger smaller girl.

I noticed you have not said what you would say to her. Why is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband did the right thing, because he was following his daughter’s wishes. Your daughter’s trust in her dad is more important then yelling at a bunch of boys.

Exactly! We are trying to teach a girl that her bodily autonomy counts… by overriding her emotional autonomy? It also could have been more traumatizing for her to have her Dad confront the boys against her will. I am shocked by the responses suggesting he should have done just that. As someone who has been pinched, grabbed, groped in public numerous times (like so many women) I know that being validated by a person I love is much more important than having that person confront someone against my will. Jeez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear God. It's a butt. Everyone is so sad and angry because every Mole hill is turned into a mountain.

Now is a good learning opportunity about how to confront people and talk about what your boundaries are. But I disagree with the posters who think she should feel victimized here. Infact, I would applaud her for being so resilient and keeping things in perspective. It wasn't right. It's her body and no one has a right to touch it without her permission.
But an immature fool showed off to his stupid friends by pinching a butt. Meh. Life goes on.

Of course life goes on, you dumba$$. No one said her life was over or that she needs therapy. FFS.

But this is not a harmless prank. If it was so harless why the f* do you think she told her father and she was embarrassed by it?

It's no wonder we still have male predators in our society. People like you think it was a harmless prank, and boys should just be allowed to get away with sh1t like this.

I have a teen son, and if he did this, you bet he'd be in huge trouble.

I am the pp. You sound so hysterical it's hard to take anything you day seriously. You're a total joke.
I've been assaulted far far worse and I said it's not okay. But hysterical drama queens like you teach victim hood and it's despicable.
The girl handled it with far more maturity than you. She sounds like a reasonable person who can take things in stride and keep them kn perspective. You are a screaming Froot Loop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear God. It's a butt. Everyone is so sad and angry because every Mole hill is turned into a mountain.

Now is a good learning opportunity about how to confront people and talk about what your boundaries are. But I disagree with the posters who think she should feel victimized here. Infact, I would applaud her for being so resilient and keeping things in perspective. It wasn't right. It's her body and no one has a right to touch it without her permission.
But an immature fool showed off to his stupid friends by pinching a butt. Meh. Life goes on.

Of course life goes on, you dumba$$. No one said her life was over or that she needs therapy. FFS.

But this is not a harmless prank. If it was so harless why the f* do you think she told her father and she was embarrassed by it?

It's no wonder we still have male predators in our society. People like you think it was a harmless prank, and boys should just be allowed to get away with sh1t like this.

I have a teen son, and if he did this, you bet he'd be in huge trouble.

I am the pp. You sound so hysterical it's hard to take anything you day seriously. You're a total joke.
I've been assaulted far far worse and I said it's not okay. But hysterical drama queens like you teach victim hood and it's despicable.
The girl handled it with far more maturity than you. She sounds like a reasonable person who can take things in stride and keep them kn perspective. You are a screaming Froot Loop.

Going up to the boys and scolding them, demanding to know who sexually assaulted my DD is being '"hysterical"? Not doing a damn thing about it is letting yourself be a victim. "It's not ok but we won't do anything about it because we don't want to be seen as hysterical". Wow, how sad for you. My 13 yr old DD would have actually screamed at the boys. She knows she can stand up for herself. Sad that you think standing up to bullies and molestors = "being hysterical".

According to the United States Department of Justice, sexual assault is “any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient.” Sexual assault is basically an umbrella term that includes sexual activities such as rape, fondling, and attempted rape

It's even more disturbing that those creeps targeted an 11 yr old, and you think doing nothing is fine.

An 11 yr old girl feels embarrassed that this happened, but she should not be the one to feel this way. And you saying "oh do nothing even though it's no 'ok'" is basically agreeing that she should be embarrassed.

I'm embarrassed for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear God. It's a butt. Everyone is so sad and angry because every Mole hill is turned into a mountain.

Now is a good learning opportunity about how to confront people and talk about what your boundaries are. But I disagree with the posters who think she should feel victimized here. Infact, I would applaud her for being so resilient and keeping things in perspective. It wasn't right. It's her body and no one has a right to touch it without her permission.
But an immature fool showed off to his stupid friends by pinching a butt. Meh. Life goes on.

Of course life goes on, you dumba$$. No one said her life was over or that she needs therapy. FFS.

But this is not a harmless prank. If it was so harless why the f* do you think she told her father and she was embarrassed by it?

It's no wonder we still have male predators in our society. People like you think it was a harmless prank, and boys should just be allowed to get away with sh1t like this.

I have a teen son, and if he did this, you bet he'd be in huge trouble.

I am the pp. You sound so hysterical it's hard to take anything you day seriously. You're a total joke.
I've been assaulted far far worse and I said it's not okay. But hysterical drama queens like you teach victim hood and it's despicable.
The girl handled it with far more maturity than you. She sounds like a reasonable person who can take things in stride and keep them kn perspective. You are a screaming Froot Loop.

Going up to the boys and scolding them, demanding to know who sexually assaulted my DD is being '"hysterical"? Not doing a damn thing about it is letting yourself be a victim. "It's not ok but we won't do anything about it because we don't want to be seen as hysterical". Wow, how sad for you. My 13 yr old DD would have actually screamed at the boys. She knows she can stand up for herself. Sad that you think standing up to bullies and molestors = "being hysterical".

According to the United States Department of Justice, sexual assault is “any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient.” Sexual assault is basically an umbrella term that includes sexual activities such as rape, fondling, and attempted rape

It's even more disturbing that those creeps targeted an 11 yr old, and you think doing nothing is fine.

An 11 yr old girl feels embarrassed that this happened, but she should not be the one to feel this way. And you saying "oh do nothing even though it's no 'ok'" is basically agreeing that she should be embarrassed.

I'm embarrassed for you.

I dont think you understand reality vs the rich fantasy life you are leading in your head.

This incident happened IN THE PAST. AT A HOTEL.
This conversation is not about owning a time machine or laying in bed at night Jerking off to fantasies of yourself reigning righteous indignation down upon the rest of society.

This is about a girl going forward and taking what happened in stride.
Try it sometime. People will probably like you alot better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear God. It's a butt. Everyone is so sad and angry because every Mole hill is turned into a mountain.

Now is a good learning opportunity about how to confront people and talk about what your boundaries are. But I disagree with the posters who think she should feel victimized here. Infact, I would applaud her for being so resilient and keeping things in perspective. It wasn't right. It's her body and no one has a right to touch it without her permission.
But an immature fool showed off to his stupid friends by pinching a butt. Meh. Life goes on.

Of course life goes on, you dumba$$. No one said her life was over or that she needs therapy. FFS.

But this is not a harmless prank. If it was so harless why the f* do you think she told her father and she was embarrassed by it?

It's no wonder we still have male predators in our society. People like you think it was a harmless prank, and boys should just be allowed to get away with sh1t like this.

I have a teen son, and if he did this, you bet he'd be in huge trouble.

I am the pp. You sound so hysterical it's hard to take anything you day seriously. You're a total joke.
I've been assaulted far far worse and I said it's not okay. But hysterical drama queens like you teach victim hood and it's despicable.
The girl handled it with far more maturity than you. She sounds like a reasonable person who can take things in stride and keep them kn perspective. You are a screaming Froot Loop.

Going up to the boys and scolding them, demanding to know who sexually assaulted my DD is being '"hysterical"? Not doing a damn thing about it is letting yourself be a victim. "It's not ok but we won't do anything about it because we don't want to be seen as hysterical". Wow, how sad for you. My 13 yr old DD would have actually screamed at the boys. She knows she can stand up for herself. Sad that you think standing up to bullies and molestors = "being hysterical".

According to the United States Department of Justice, sexual assault is “any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient.” Sexual assault is basically an umbrella term that includes sexual activities such as rape, fondling, and attempted rape

It's even more disturbing that those creeps targeted an 11 yr old, and you think doing nothing is fine.

An 11 yr old girl feels embarrassed that this happened, but she should not be the one to feel this way. And you saying "oh do nothing even though it's no 'ok'" is basically agreeing that she should be embarrassed.

I'm embarrassed for you.

I dont think you understand reality vs the rich fantasy life you are leading in your head.

This incident happened IN THE PAST. AT A HOTEL.
This conversation is not about owning a time machine or laying in bed at night Jerking off to fantasies of yourself reigning righteous indignation down upon the rest of society.

This is about a girl going forward and taking what happened in stride.
Try it sometime. People will probably like you alot better.

? Yes, it already happened. But people are saying what they would've done at the moment. Are people saying that OP should go back and find those boys? That's not what I'm saying above. But I am responding to those people who think that it was "prank" (a word used by probably a male predator himself up thread) and NBD that the boys did it.

I have also been touched this way several times as a teen, and I also felt embarrassed and didn't tell the teachers. I wish I had an adult who told me that I should not be embarrassed, and called the boys out. I know of at least one boy who did this several times to other girls as well. One of the girls had a big BF who found the creep and beat the crap out of him.

I'm betting that this won't be the last time those boys do sh1t like this. Maybe it wasn't even the first time. These boys feel entitled to touch a girl inappropiately, and until someone calls them out on it, or beats the sh1t out of them for doing it, more than likely, they will continue doing it. These guys are predators.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear God. It's a butt. Everyone is so sad and angry because every Mole hill is turned into a mountain.

Now is a good learning opportunity about how to confront people and talk about what your boundaries are. But I disagree with the posters who think she should feel victimized here. Infact, I would applaud her for being so resilient and keeping things in perspective. It wasn't right. It's her body and no one has a right to touch it without her permission.
But an immature fool showed off to his stupid friends by pinching a butt. Meh. Life goes on.

Of course life goes on, you dumba$$. No one said her life was over or that she needs therapy. FFS.

But this is not a harmless prank. If it was so harless why the f* do you think she told her father and she was embarrassed by it?

It's no wonder we still have male predators in our society. People like you think it was a harmless prank, and boys should just be allowed to get away with sh1t like this.

I have a teen son, and if he did this, you bet he'd be in huge trouble.

I am the pp. You sound so hysterical it's hard to take anything you day seriously. You're a total joke.
I've been assaulted far far worse and I said it's not okay. But hysterical drama queens like you teach victim hood and it's despicable.
The girl handled it with far more maturity than you. She sounds like a reasonable person who can take things in stride and keep them kn perspective. You are a screaming Froot Loop.

Going up to the boys and scolding them, demanding to know who sexually assaulted my DD is being '"hysterical"? Not doing a damn thing about it is letting yourself be a victim. "It's not ok but we won't do anything about it because we don't want to be seen as hysterical". Wow, how sad for you. My 13 yr old DD would have actually screamed at the boys. She knows she can stand up for herself. Sad that you think standing up to bullies and molestors = "being hysterical".

According to the United States Department of Justice, sexual assault is “any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient.” Sexual assault is basically an umbrella term that includes sexual activities such as rape, fondling, and attempted rape

It's even more disturbing that those creeps targeted an 11 yr old, and you think doing nothing is fine.

An 11 yr old girl feels embarrassed that this happened, but she should not be the one to feel this way. And you saying "oh do nothing even though it's no 'ok'" is basically agreeing that she should be embarrassed.

I'm embarrassed for you.

I dont think you understand reality vs the rich fantasy life you are leading in your head.

This incident happened IN THE PAST. AT A HOTEL.
This conversation is not about owning a time machine or laying in bed at night Jerking off to fantasies of yourself reigning righteous indignation down upon the rest of society.

This is about a girl going forward and taking what happened in stride.
Try it sometime. People will probably like you alot better.

? Yes, it already happened. But people are saying what they would've done at the moment. Are people saying that OP should go back and find those boys? That's not what I'm saying above. But I am responding to those people who think that it was "prank" (a word used by probably a male predator himself up thread) and NBD that the boys did it.

I have also been touched this way several times as a teen, and I also felt embarrassed and didn't tell the teachers. I wish I had an adult who told me that I should not be embarrassed, and called the boys out. I know of at least one boy who did this several times to other girls as well. One of the girls had a big BF who found the creep and beat the crap out of him.

I'm betting that this won't be the last time those boys do sh1t like this. Maybe it wasn't even the first time. These boys feel entitled to touch a girl inappropiately, and until someone calls them out on it, or beats the sh1t out of them for doing it, more than likely, they will continue doing it. These guys are predators.

So was the boyfriend arrested for beating the crap out of someone? Did he go to jail? Did he beat the right boy up? Did the girl like her boyfriend’s sudden out breaks of violence? What happens if the other boys are better fighters vs the boyfriend? What happens if one of the other boys has a gun or decides to get revenge against the girl or her family? Some many questions but violence is not the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear God. It's a butt. Everyone is so sad and angry because every Mole hill is turned into a mountain.

Now is a good learning opportunity about how to confront people and talk about what your boundaries are. But I disagree with the posters who think she should feel victimized here. Infact, I would applaud her for being so resilient and keeping things in perspective. It wasn't right. It's her body and no one has a right to touch it without her permission.
But an immature fool showed off to his stupid friends by pinching a butt. Meh. Life goes on.

Of course life goes on, you dumba$$. No one said her life was over or that she needs therapy. FFS.

But this is not a harmless prank. If it was so harless why the f* do you think she told her father and she was embarrassed by it?

It's no wonder we still have male predators in our society. People like you think it was a harmless prank, and boys should just be allowed to get away with sh1t like this.

I have a teen son, and if he did this, you bet he'd be in huge trouble.

I am the pp. You sound so hysterical it's hard to take anything you day seriously. You're a total joke.
I've been assaulted far far worse and I said it's not okay. But hysterical drama queens like you teach victim hood and it's despicable.
The girl handled it with far more maturity than you. She sounds like a reasonable person who can take things in stride and keep them kn perspective. You are a screaming Froot Loop.

Going up to the boys and scolding them, demanding to know who sexually assaulted my DD is being '"hysterical"? Not doing a damn thing about it is letting yourself be a victim. "It's not ok but we won't do anything about it because we don't want to be seen as hysterical". Wow, how sad for you. My 13 yr old DD would have actually screamed at the boys. She knows she can stand up for herself. Sad that you think standing up to bullies and molestors = "being hysterical".

According to the United States Department of Justice, sexual assault is “any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient.” Sexual assault is basically an umbrella term that includes sexual activities such as rape, fondling, and attempted rape

It's even more disturbing that those creeps targeted an 11 yr old, and you think doing nothing is fine.

An 11 yr old girl feels embarrassed that this happened, but she should not be the one to feel this way. And you saying "oh do nothing even though it's no 'ok'" is basically agreeing that she should be embarrassed.

I'm embarrassed for you.

I dont think you understand reality vs the rich fantasy life you are leading in your head.

This incident happened IN THE PAST. AT A HOTEL.
This conversation is not about owning a time machine or laying in bed at night Jerking off to fantasies of yourself reigning righteous indignation down upon the rest of society.

This is about a girl going forward and taking what happened in stride.
Try it sometime. People will probably like you alot better.

? Yes, it already happened. But people are saying what they would've done at the moment. Are people saying that OP should go back and find those boys? That's not what I'm saying above. But I am responding to those people who think that it was "prank" (a word used by probably a male predator himself up thread) and NBD that the boys did it.

I have also been touched this way several times as a teen, and I also felt embarrassed and didn't tell the teachers. I wish I had an adult who told me that I should not be embarrassed, and called the boys out. I know of at least one boy who did this several times to other girls as well. One of the girls had a big BF who found the creep and beat the crap out of him.

I'm betting that this won't be the last time those boys do sh1t like this. Maybe it wasn't even the first time. These boys feel entitled to touch a girl inappropiately, and until someone calls them out on it, or beats the sh1t out of them for doing it, more than likely, they will continue doing it. These guys are predators.

So was the boyfriend arrested for beating the crap out of someone? Did he go to jail? Did he beat the right boy up? Did the girl like her boyfriend’s sudden out breaks of violence? What happens if the other boys are better fighters vs the boyfriend? What happens if one of the other boys has a gun or decides to get revenge against the girl or her family? Some many questions but violence is not the answer.

So you agree the violence against the 11 yr old child was wrong?

[Anonymous]

An adult male yelling threats at 13 year-old boys is assault.

A 13 year old boy pinching a girls butt under water is assault.

One of these will be well witnessed and on video.


If my child came to me and told me a group of boys pinched them in the pool I'd calmly tell the boys that I knew one of them pinched larla and that I'd be sure that they were prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. I'd complain to the hotel management, in the way a morally ambiguous consequentialist parent would do.

I'm not a good person. I accept that. But I'll protect my children.

I also teach my kids to be situationally aware, wary of teenage boys they don't know, and to that they can talk to me without shame, about anything.

Realistically, I'd expect mine to swim away and not be terribly bothered by it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who have said it was important for DH to support DDs wishes in this moment. As another poster said, she wanted to be heard and supported, not ignored and defended against her wishes.

I understand the impulse to want to yell at the boys and it isn’t fair that they didn’t face consequences but retaining your daughters trust is so, so important. She knows that she can talk to DH and trust him to respect her. If he was to yell and make a scene against her will she would have felt humiliated and likely would not confide in him if this were to happen again.

Consequences for what? "The boys" didn't do anything wrong. One did, that doesn't mean they all face consequences.

I think they all should. Either they fess up who did it so he can be banned, or they all get banned.

Bystander training - which is teaching bystanders what to do when they witness assault - is one of the most effective ways to prevent sexual assault. They all need to learn that being a silent witness is not acceptable, and they need to report males that assault females, even if it’s their friend.

Maybe YOU should be banned. You are no less culpable than they are. Follow your own "rules" and ban yourself from everywhere.

Could you explain this comment please? The PP was at the hotel pool when this girl was assaulted. You may be confused…

PP thinks that people who did NOT do anything wrong should be banned. I'm assuming pp also did not pinch OP's daughters butt, so she should include her self in those deserving of banned. Apparently EVERYONE should be banned. Shut down the pool!

Oh, I get you now. You think the boys that contributed to this situation didn’t do anything wrong. Would you like to defend their actions to the eleven year old girl? Do you think she would feel safe with any of those boys knowing that they targeted her? What would you say to her?

There is no reason to believe they "contributed to it" any more than YOU (someone who was not there) did. What will YOU say to that 11 year old girl and YOUR contribution to it? You had just as much a role in this assault as they did, yet you want to hold children accountable and not yourself. Disgusting.

They were part of a group that targeted that girl. A younger smaller girl.

I noticed you have not said what you would say to her. Why is that?

Because I did not pinch OP's daughter's butt. And unlike you, I'm not advocating that others who ALSO did NOT pinch the butt to be hit, screamed at, threatened, arrested, or banned from pools. The only person that should get in trouble is the one who actually did it.