DD’s butt pinched in the pool

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me weep about jack has changed between when I was a tween dealing with this and my girls growing up. The amount of trying to explain this away and make it something other than what it is…
Yes girls can be inappropriate but it doesn’t make it ok when boys do it.
No teen boys to pinch girls butt just bc they are idiots
No it doesn’t mean she needs therapy but yes, it is still wrong, it can still have lasting impact esp when it keeps happening and society tells her to suck it up
Wanting boys (and girls) to be held accountable for their actions does not equal hysteria.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope the mom of teen boys who think this is just boys being idiots will at least read this thread and talk to their boys about not touching other people without their consent.

Excuse me? I sure hope you are teaching your girls the same. I don't appreciate girls touching my sons butt, biceps, or chest..nor anything else.

So you agree the boys in the OP were wrong?

Well no duh they were wrong.
No one said they were behaving properly.
You don't seem to be able to appreciate the degrees of life.
They were wrong. Should the daughter harp on it? No. Does she need trauma therapy? No. Should the dad have done anything differently? Probably not. He respected her wishes. Should those kids be buried up to their necks and stoned in the streets? No. Do girls get away with crapnlike that all the time? Yes.
It was a bad thing. Bad things happen. It helps to keep things in perspective in life.

So you agree they were wrong. Glad to see that.
The issue for you seems to be consequences

Was the girl right to get herself out of that situation? I think yes and I believe you agree.
What should Dad have done and what should society do seem to be your hang ups

I believe as a society we have to telegraph to our youth that this is not acceptable behavior. I don’t think anyone should be stoned or permanently banned. But they should be taught that is not acceptable. Whether it is from bystanders or from Dad, they should have gotten the message.

I agree that not all the boys were equally culpable. Obviously the idiot who actually pinched her is the problem. But did any of the boys step back and refuse to participate? Those guys should be commended. Did any of them tell their idiot friend to knock it off? Those guys should be praised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, some of you think ass pinching is something to let go? So, where do you draw the line?

What if he rubbed her ass?
Pinched her breast?
Hugged her and pressed his penis into her ass cheek?
Stuck a hand inside her swimsuit and rubbed her hip?

The letting things go is a slippery slope. What message to teens? Some stuff is ok, but, some not? How are they supposed to know? Obviously OP’s daughter felt bad about what happened, is she supposed to know to just let it go and feel bad if it’s ass pinching, but, hey! If he’d pinched your vagina, now we will do something?

Yes you crazy lady: some stuff you let go, and some stuff you don’t. How do some of you manage to leave your house every day?

So, where is the line? What do you tell your kids? Or are you saying, you’re good with all those things happening to your daughter?

If some boy pinched my daughter’s butt I would tell her to call him out as the asshole that he is and then MOVE ON with her life. But no, I wouldn’t be trying to get the boy thrown onto some sex offender registry over it like some of you psychos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope the mom of teen boys who think this is just boys being idiots will at least read this thread and talk to their boys about not touching other people without their consent.

Excuse me? I sure hope you are teaching your girls the same. I don't appreciate girls touching my sons butt, biceps, or chest..nor anything else.

So you agree the boys in the OP were wrong?

Well no duh they were wrong.
No one said they were behaving properly.
You don't seem to be able to appreciate the degrees of life.
They were wrong. Should the daughter harp on it? No. Does she need trauma therapy? No. Should the dad have done anything differently? Probably not. He respected her wishes. Should those kids be buried up to their necks and stoned in the streets? No. Do girls get away with crapnlike that all the time? Yes.
It was a bad thing. Bad things happen. It helps to keep things in perspective in life.

So you agree they were wrong. Glad to see that.
The issue for you seems to be consequences

Was the girl right to get herself out of that situation? I think yes and I believe you agree.
What should Dad have done and what should society do seem to be your hang ups

I believe as a society we have to telegraph to our youth that this is not acceptable behavior. I don’t think anyone should be stoned or permanently banned. But they should be taught that is not acceptable. Whether it is from bystanders or from Dad, they should have gotten the message.

I agree that not all the boys were equally culpable. Obviously the idiot who actually pinched her is the problem. But did any of the boys step back and refuse to participate? Those guys should be commended. Did any of them tell their idiot friend to knock it off? Those guys should be praised.

Participate in what? A fraction of a second butt pinch they may or may not have even witnessed? Seriously, you sound like a lunatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope the mom of teen boys who think this is just boys being idiots will at least read this thread and talk to their boys about not touching other people without their consent.

Excuse me? I sure hope you are teaching your girls the same. I don't appreciate girls touching my sons butt, biceps, or chest..nor anything else.

np Isn't this thread about boys pinching girl's butt? When a thread like that is written pigs will start to fly.

[Anonymous]

Bear claw on the face of the boys. Or taze them. It is so simple. Let them fry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope the mom of teen boys who think this is just boys being idiots will at least read this thread and talk to their boys about not touching other people without their consent.

Excuse me? I sure hope you are teaching your girls the same. I don't appreciate girls touching my sons butt, biceps, or chest..nor anything else.

pp tell me when your son has had his butt pinched. I'll wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, some of you think ass pinching is something to let go? So, where do you draw the line?

What if he rubbed her ass?
Pinched her breast?
Hugged her and pressed his penis into her ass cheek?
Stuck a hand inside her swimsuit and rubbed her hip?

The letting things go is a slippery slope. What message to teens? Some stuff is ok, but, some not? How are they supposed to know? Obviously OP’s daughter felt bad about what happened, is she supposed to know to just let it go and feel bad if it’s ass pinching, but, hey! If he’d pinched your vagina, now we will do something?

Yes you crazy lady: some stuff you let go, and some stuff you don’t. How do some of you manage to leave your house every day?

So, where is the line? What do you tell your kids? Or are you saying, you’re good with all those things happening to your daughter?

If some boy pinched my daughter’s butt I would tell her to call him out as the asshole that he is and then MOVE ON with her life. But no, I wouldn’t be trying to get the boy thrown onto some sex offender registry over it like some of you psychos.

No one is talking about sex offender registries except you. You sound hysterical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, some of you think ass pinching is something to let go? So, where do you draw the line?

What if he rubbed her ass?
Pinched her breast?
Hugged her and pressed his penis into her ass cheek?
Stuck a hand inside her swimsuit and rubbed her hip?

The letting things go is a slippery slope. What message to teens? Some stuff is ok, but, some not? How are they supposed to know? Obviously OP’s daughter felt bad about what happened, is she supposed to know to just let it go and feel bad if it’s ass pinching, but, hey! If he’d pinched your vagina, now we will do something?

Yes you crazy lady: some stuff you let go, and some stuff you don’t. How do some of you manage to leave your house every day?

So, where is the line? What do you tell your kids? Or are you saying, you’re good with all those things happening to your daughter?

If some boy pinched my daughter’s butt I would tell her to call him out as the asshole that he is and then MOVE ON with her life. But no, I wouldn’t be trying to get the boy thrown onto some sex offender registry over it like some of you psychos.

Exactly, yes! He should be called out.

Glad to see that you agree there should be a consequence for this behavior and that OP’s DH was wrong to scuttle his daughter away in shame.

[Anonymous]

It's assault. Sometimes dad cannot agree to keep child's secrets. The boys need to be sternly reprimanded so they don't do something like this again.

No one needs to get hysterical and freak out, but a stern reprimand is perfectly appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, some of you think ass pinching is something to let go? So, where do you draw the line?

What if he rubbed her ass?
Pinched her breast?
Hugged her and pressed his penis into her ass cheek?
Stuck a hand inside her swimsuit and rubbed her hip?

The letting things go is a slippery slope. What message to teens? Some stuff is ok, but, some not? How are they supposed to know? Obviously OP’s daughter felt bad about what happened, is she supposed to know to just let it go and feel bad if it’s ass pinching, but, hey! If he’d pinched your vagina, now we will do something?

Yes you crazy lady: some stuff you let go, and some stuff you don’t. How do some of you manage to leave your house every day?

So, where is the line? What do you tell your kids? Or are you saying, you’re good with all those things happening to your daughter?

If some boy pinched my daughter’s butt I would tell her to call him out as the asshole that he is and then MOVE ON with her life. But no, I wouldn’t be trying to get the boy thrown onto some sex offender registry over it like some of you psychos.

No one is talking about sex offender registries except you. You sound hysterical.

Once police are called, all bets are off. And yes, teens have been charged with sexual assault for minor offenses and put on sex offender list. So tell your boys never confess or agree and lawyer up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, some of you think ass pinching is something to let go? So, where do you draw the line?

What if he rubbed her ass?
Pinched her breast?
Hugged her and pressed his penis into her ass cheek?
Stuck a hand inside her swimsuit and rubbed her hip?

The letting things go is a slippery slope. What message to teens? Some stuff is ok, but, some not? How are they supposed to know? Obviously OP’s daughter felt bad about what happened, is she supposed to know to just let it go and feel bad if it’s ass pinching, but, hey! If he’d pinched your vagina, now we will do something?

Yes you crazy lady: some stuff you let go, and some stuff you don’t. How do some of you manage to leave your house every day?

So, where is the line? What do you tell your kids? Or are you saying, you’re good with all those things happening to your daughter?

If some boy pinched my daughter’s butt I would tell her to call him out as the asshole that he is and then MOVE ON with her life. But no, I wouldn’t be trying to get the boy thrown onto some sex offender registry over it like some of you psychos.

No one is talking about sex offender registries except you. You sound hysterical.

Once police are called, all bets are off. And yes, teens have been charged with sexual assault for minor offenses and put on sex offender list. So tell your boys never confess or agree and lawyer up.

Or -- you could teach your boys, like we did, that they should respect all girls and not put their hands on them uninvited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, some of you think ass pinching is something to let go? So, where do you draw the line?

What if he rubbed her ass?
Pinched her breast?
Hugged her and pressed his penis into her ass cheek?
Stuck a hand inside her swimsuit and rubbed her hip?

The letting things go is a slippery slope. What message to teens? Some stuff is ok, but, some not? How are they supposed to know? Obviously OP’s daughter felt bad about what happened, is she supposed to know to just let it go and feel bad if it’s ass pinching, but, hey! If he’d pinched your vagina, now we will do something?

Yes you crazy lady: some stuff you let go, and some stuff you don’t. How do some of you manage to leave your house every day?

So, where is the line? What do you tell your kids? Or are you saying, you’re good with all those things happening to your daughter?

If some boy pinched my daughter’s butt I would tell her to call him out as the asshole that he is and then MOVE ON with her life. But no, I wouldn’t be trying to get the boy thrown onto some sex offender registry over it like some of you psychos.

No one is talking about sex offender registries except you. You sound hysterical.

Once police are called, all bets are off. And yes, teens have been charged with sexual assault for minor offenses and put on sex offender list. So tell your boys never confess or agree and lawyer up.

Do boys you know go around pinching strangers butts? Because honestly this isn’t something my son would do. And not because he is some sort of angel but because he’s been taught from toddlerhood that you can’t put your hands on another person unless you know they are ok with it. My son plays way too much Xbox, lies occasionally, mouths off. He’s only 13 but perhaps he’ll engage in underage drinking or weed. He’ll probably have sex without us knowing. But I would be shocked if he pinched a random girls butt. Surely he’s the norm?

[Anonymous]

It wasn't appropriate, but neither is raising a child to get hysterical over every slight. Sometimes, better to save ones energy for more worthwhile endeavors than exacting justice on a 13 yr old who pinched a butt in a pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It wasn't appropriate, but neither is raising a child to get hysterical over every slight. Sometimes, better to save ones energy for more worthwhile endeavors than exacting justice on a 13 yr old who pinched a butt in a pool.

Op didn’t say anything about her child getting hysterical.