DD’s butt pinched in the pool

[Anonymous]

Here is what you do. Educate your daughter to loudly say, “Get your hands off me!” and move away. I’ve been teaching my 15 year old to do that since she was a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who have said it was important for DH to support DDs wishes in this moment. As another poster said, she wanted to be heard and supported, not ignored and defended against her wishes.

I understand the impulse to want to yell at the boys and it isn’t fair that they didn’t face consequences but retaining your daughters trust is so, so important. She knows that she can talk to DH and trust him to respect her. If he was to yell and make a scene against her will she would have felt humiliated and likely would not confide in him if this were to happen again.

Consequences for what? "The boys" didn't do anything wrong. One did, that doesn't mean they all face consequences.

I think they all should. Either they fess up who did it so he can be banned, or they all get banned.

Bystander training - which is teaching bystanders what to do when they witness assault - is one of the most effective ways to prevent sexual assault. They all need to learn that being a silent witness is not acceptable, and they need to report males that assault females, even if it’s their friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who have said it was important for DH to support DDs wishes in this moment. As another poster said, she wanted to be heard and supported, not ignored and defended against her wishes.

I understand the impulse to want to yell at the boys and it isn’t fair that they didn’t face consequences but retaining your daughters trust is so, so important. She knows that she can talk to DH and trust him to respect her. If he was to yell and make a scene against her will she would have felt humiliated and likely would not confide in him if this were to happen again.

Consequences for what? "The boys" didn't do anything wrong. One did, that doesn't mean they all face consequences.

I think they all should. Either they fess up who did it so he can be banned, or they all get banned.

Bystander training - which is teaching bystanders what to do when they witness assault - is one of the most effective ways to prevent sexual assault. They all need to learn that being a silent witness is not acceptable, and they need to report males that assault females, even if it’s their friend.

Bingo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who have said it was important for DH to support DDs wishes in this moment. As another poster said, she wanted to be heard and supported, not ignored and defended against her wishes.

I understand the impulse to want to yell at the boys and it isn’t fair that they didn’t face consequences but retaining your daughters trust is so, so important. She knows that she can talk to DH and trust him to respect her. If he was to yell and make a scene against her will she would have felt humiliated and likely would not confide in him if this were to happen again.

Consequences for what? "The boys" didn't do anything wrong. One did, that doesn't mean they all face consequences.

I think they all should. Either they fess up who did it so he can be banned, or they all get banned.

Bystander training - which is teaching bystanders what to do when they witness assault - is one of the most effective ways to prevent sexual assault. They all need to learn that being a silent witness is not acceptable, and they need to report males that assault females, even if it’s their friend.

Maybe YOU should be banned. You are no less culpable than they are. Follow your own "rules" and ban yourself from everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who have said it was important for DH to support DDs wishes in this moment. As another poster said, she wanted to be heard and supported, not ignored and defended against her wishes.

I understand the impulse to want to yell at the boys and it isn’t fair that they didn’t face consequences but retaining your daughters trust is so, so important. She knows that she can talk to DH and trust him to respect her. If he was to yell and make a scene against her will she would have felt humiliated and likely would not confide in him if this were to happen again.

Consequences for what? "The boys" didn't do anything wrong. One did, that doesn't mean they all face consequences.

I think they all should. Either they fess up who did it so he can be banned, or they all get banned.

Bystander training - which is teaching bystanders what to do when they witness assault - is one of the most effective ways to prevent sexual assault. They all need to learn that being a silent witness is not acceptable, and they need to report males that assault females, even if it’s their friend.

Maybe YOU should be banned. You are no less culpable than they are. Follow your own "rules" and ban yourself from everywhere.

Could you explain this comment please? The PP was at the hotel pool when this girl was assaulted. You may be confused…

[Anonymous]

No, that PP wasn’t there. Strange comment about banning her/himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former 13-year old boy here. I bet they were standing around and one of them got the stupid idea to do this and dared one of the other boys to do it. It's because they are stupid and lack judgment, not because they are sexual predators.

I can imagine the father coming up and yelling at the boys and asking who did it. You think any boy will just fess up? No way.

Exactly. Stupid harmless prank.

The women on this board are nuts.

Were you ever surrounded by a group of older boys and pinched on the butt while you were in a vulnerable position when you were an 11 year old girl? OP’s dd isn’t scarred for life, but this was not “harmless.”

[Anonymous]

Your daughter said how she wanted this handled- respect that. You can either make a big deal out of this, which ensures it becomes a big deal to her forever, or move on.

I’ve had my butt pinched and been groped many times in my life. It’s not okay, but it’s not worth dwelling on or wasting time being upset over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former 13-year old boy here. I bet they were standing around and one of them got the stupid idea to do this and dared one of the other boys to do it. It's because they are stupid and lack judgment, not because they are sexual predators.

I can imagine the father coming up and yelling at the boys and asking who did it. You think any boy will just fess up? No way.

Exactly. Stupid harmless prank.

The women on this board are nuts.

I bet you touched a girl/woman without her consent. It is not "harmless" to touch a female like this. How would you like it if some man touched your wife/GF/daughter like this? You would both just laugh, right, and look at the guy and say, "that was harmless.. it's fine".

I hope to God you don't have a daughter. If you do, I truly feel sorry for her. You are disgusting.

-mom of boy and girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear God. It's a butt. Everyone is so sad and angry because every Mole hill is turned into a mountain.

Now is a good learning opportunity about how to confront people and talk about what your boundaries are. But I disagree with the posters who think she should feel victimized here. Infact, I would applaud her for being so resilient and keeping things in perspective. It wasn't right. It's her body and no one has a right to touch it without her permission.
But an immature fool showed off to his stupid friends by pinching a butt. Meh. Life goes on.

Of course life goes on, you dumba$$. No one said her life was over or that she needs therapy. FFS.

But this is not a harmless prank. If it was so harless why the f* do you think she told her father and she was embarrassed by it?

It's no wonder we still have male predators in our society. People like you think it was a harmless prank, and boys should just be allowed to get away with sh1t like this.

I have a teen son, and if he did this, you bet he'd be in huge trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear God. It's a butt. Everyone is so sad and angry because every Mole hill is turned into a mountain.

Now is a good learning opportunity about how to confront people and talk about what your boundaries are. But I disagree with the posters who think she should feel victimized here. Infact, I would applaud her for being so resilient and keeping things in perspective. It wasn't right. It's her body and no one has a right to touch it without her permission.
But an immature fool showed off to his stupid friends by pinching a butt. Meh. Life goes on.

Of course life goes on, you dumba$$. No one said her life was over or that she needs therapy. FFS.

But this is not a harmless prank. If it was so harless why the f* do you think she told her father and she was embarrassed by it?

It's no wonder we still have male predators in our society. People like you think it was a harmless prank, and boys should just be allowed to get away with sh1t like this.

I have a teen son, and if he did this, you bet he'd be in huge trouble.

Of course. But should he still be in trouble if he DIDN'T do it? Because that's what many on this thread are advocating for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who have said it was important for DH to support DDs wishes in this moment. As another poster said, she wanted to be heard and supported, not ignored and defended against her wishes.

I understand the impulse to want to yell at the boys and it isn’t fair that they didn’t face consequences but retaining your daughters trust is so, so important. She knows that she can talk to DH and trust him to respect her. If he was to yell and make a scene against her will she would have felt humiliated and likely would not confide in him if this were to happen again.

Consequences for what? "The boys" didn't do anything wrong. One did, that doesn't mean they all face consequences.

I think they all should. Either they fess up who did it so he can be banned, or they all get banned.

Bystander training - which is teaching bystanders what to do when they witness assault - is one of the most effective ways to prevent sexual assault. They all need to learn that being a silent witness is not acceptable, and they need to report males that assault females, even if it’s their friend.

Maybe YOU should be banned. You are no less culpable than they are. Follow your own "rules" and ban yourself from everywhere.

Could you explain this comment please? The PP was at the hotel pool when this girl was assaulted. You may be confused…

PP thinks that people who did NOT do anything wrong should be banned. I'm assuming pp also did not pinch OP's daughters butt, so she should include her self in those deserving of banned. Apparently EVERYONE should be banned. Shut down the pool!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear God. It's a butt. Everyone is so sad and angry because every Mole hill is turned into a mountain.

Now is a good learning opportunity about how to confront people and talk about what your boundaries are. But I disagree with the posters who think she should feel victimized here. Infact, I would applaud her for being so resilient and keeping things in perspective. It wasn't right. It's her body and no one has a right to touch it without her permission.
But an immature fool showed off to his stupid friends by pinching a butt. Meh. Life goes on.

Of course life goes on, you dumba$$. No one said her life was over or that she needs therapy. FFS.

But this is not a harmless prank. If it was so harless why the f* do you think she told her father and she was embarrassed by it?

It's no wonder we still have male predators in our society. People like you think it was a harmless prank, and boys should just be allowed to get away with sh1t like this.

I have a teen son, and if he did this, you bet he'd be in huge trouble.

Of course. But should he still be in trouble if he DIDN'T do it? Because that's what many on this thread are advocating for.

If he was in that group of boys, he did contribute to the assault and if he doesn’t speak up, he should be in trouble. Are you ok with your son being a silent onlooker to assault?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who have said it was important for DH to support DDs wishes in this moment. As another poster said, she wanted to be heard and supported, not ignored and defended against her wishes.

I understand the impulse to want to yell at the boys and it isn’t fair that they didn’t face consequences but retaining your daughters trust is so, so important. She knows that she can talk to DH and trust him to respect her. If he was to yell and make a scene against her will she would have felt humiliated and likely would not confide in him if this were to happen again.

Consequences for what? "The boys" didn't do anything wrong. One did, that doesn't mean they all face consequences.

I think they all should. Either they fess up who did it so he can be banned, or they all get banned.

Bystander training - which is teaching bystanders what to do when they witness assault - is one of the most effective ways to prevent sexual assault. They all need to learn that being a silent witness is not acceptable, and they need to report males that assault females, even if it’s their friend.

Maybe YOU should be banned. You are no less culpable than they are. Follow your own "rules" and ban yourself from everywhere.

Could you explain this comment please? The PP was at the hotel pool when this girl was assaulted. You may be confused…

PP thinks that people who did NOT do anything wrong should be banned. I'm assuming pp also did not pinch OP's daughters butt, so she should include her self in those deserving of banned. Apparently EVERYONE should be banned. Shut down the pool!

Oh, I get you now. You think the boys that contributed to this situation didn’t do anything wrong. Would you like to defend their actions to the eleven year old girl? Do you think she would feel safe with any of those boys knowing that they targeted her? What would you say to her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who have said it was important for DH to support DDs wishes in this moment. As another poster said, she wanted to be heard and supported, not ignored and defended against her wishes.

I understand the impulse to want to yell at the boys and it isn’t fair that they didn’t face consequences but retaining your daughters trust is so, so important. She knows that she can talk to DH and trust him to respect her. If he was to yell and make a scene against her will she would have felt humiliated and likely would not confide in him if this were to happen again.

Consequences for what? "The boys" didn't do anything wrong. One did, that doesn't mean they all face consequences.

I think they all should. Either they fess up who did it so he can be banned, or they all get banned.

Bystander training - which is teaching bystanders what to do when they witness assault - is one of the most effective ways to prevent sexual assault. They all need to learn that being a silent witness is not acceptable, and they need to report males that assault females, even if it’s their friend.

Maybe YOU should be banned. You are no less culpable than they are. Follow your own "rules" and ban yourself from everywhere.

Could you explain this comment please? The PP was at the hotel pool when this girl was assaulted. You may be confused…

PP thinks that people who did NOT do anything wrong should be banned. I'm assuming pp also did not pinch OP's daughters butt, so she should include her self in those deserving of banned. Apparently EVERYONE should be banned. Shut down the pool!

Oh, I get you now. You think the boys that contributed to this situation didn’t do anything wrong. Would you like to defend their actions to the eleven year old girl? Do you think she would feel safe with any of those boys knowing that they targeted her? What would you say to her?

"PP thinks that people who did NOT do anything wrong should be banned. I'm assuming pp also did not pinch OP's daughters butt, so she should include her self in those deserving of banned. Apparently EVERYONE should be banned. Shut down the pool! "

Ding, Ding Ding worst post on social media today.

What an idiot. As usual a Trumper being dumb.