S/o SAHMs - why do so many men want one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many men? Not I. Sounds like signing up for someone to get fat, never want to have sex, that I have to financially support. At least of you get fat and don't want to have sex, you can pay your own way.

I can't believe I am throwing fuel on the mommy war fire, but.....the SAH mom brigade seems to be in better shape. I assume it's because they have time to go to the gym. When I occasionally go into work late and go the the gym at 9am, its all minivans and SUVs with in-shape mom's getting out after kid drop off.

DH and I each lost 30+ pounds in the year after I started SAH. We significantly reduced the amount of takeout we ate as I actually had time to cook healthy meals. I began workng out during the day and DH could workout in the evening because there was much less housework to do. We became healthier as a family.

The fittest women I know are SAHMs. Go to any gym between 9:30am-11:00am and see for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband made it very clear from the beginning that he did not want a SAHM

This is a red flag to me. Sounds like he forbade you from making a life decision that he didn't want at that time. Any many who either "wants" a SAH or WOH spouse is messed up. You come to this decision as a couple.

to clarify, I also wanted nothing to do with SAH! I worked very hard for my career and I very much enjoy it. We both agreed at the beginning that having one of us stay home was not for us. However, its not like if there was a medical reason or whatever that came about that one of us would not be flexible in this. My only point was that my husband was not seeking a women to marry that wanted to SAH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH valued having a SAHM for our kids. Thankfully, we talked about it before we got married and were in agreement.

He has never had to worry about getting a call about a sick kid. Last minute travel is never a problem. He doesn't have to juggle his schedule to fit in doctors or dental appointments. Snow days are not stressful here- they are cause for celebration! Our house is always clean. Dinner is almost always homemade and ready when he walks in. I had everything done and the kids bathed and in pajamas so that we could eat dinner as family and relax in the evenings. We've never had to scramble to make last minute child care decisions. I've never sent a child to daycare or school sick. Family vacations are easy because we only need to work around his schedule.

All those things make life easier for all of us - my DH, me, and our kids. But above everything else, we were willing to do absolutely anything to avoid daycare or a nanny. We both felt very strongly about this and would have sold our home and everything in it and moved to a lower COL area before resorting to daycare.

We all have different values. Leaving our children in the care of someone other than a parent for 40+ hours a week in those first few years was not something either of us was comfortable with. No amount of extra income would have been worth it.

I went back to work when our kids were older. I am so glad I was home in those earlier years. We've been married close to 30 years. It's amazing what that kind of perpective does. Money was tight in those early years, but I wouldn't change a thing.

My H would have hated never taking kids to the doctors, he really valued being a part of that.
My H loves snow days, are you serious that your H has never taken a snow day off to spend the day with the kids?
He never gave your kids a bath? Never read books to them before bed?
We have somebody clean our house and our kids are at school all day so it does not really get too dirty.

Let me guess he never "HAD TO" coach a sport, help with a play, volunteer in the classroom, go on a field trip, help with homework, get to know your children.

No nanny or daycare? Do you also home school?

Maybe life is "easier" but is not spending time with your kids and being fully a part of their life "better"?

We definitely have "different values".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you kidding me? I'm a WOHM, and I want one.

Anyone want to come join our marriage? Two physician couple, four adorable kids. We need someone to do all of the cooking, meal planning, laundry, cleaning, and money management, be active in the school community and with the teachers, decorate the house and celebrate holidays, purchase all Christmas presents, plan vacations and parties, sign the older kids up for activities and drive them there and back, each the little ones during the day and play age appropriate activities, do minor repairs, and hire out and manage all yardwork.

As a SAHM, I want to thank this working mom for this post. At least you appreciate what stay at home moms do, which many on DCUM do not. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH valued having a SAHM for our kids. Thankfully, we talked about it before we got married and were in agreement.

He has never had to worry about getting a call about a sick kid. Last minute travel is never a problem. He doesn't have to juggle his schedule to fit in doctors or dental appointments. Snow days are not stressful here- they are cause for celebration! Our house is always clean. Dinner is almost always homemade and ready when he walks in. I had everything done and the kids bathed and in pajamas so that we could eat dinner as family and relax in the evenings. We've never had to scramble to make last minute child care decisions. I've never sent a child to daycare or school sick. Family vacations are easy because we only need to work around his schedule.

All those things make life easier for all of us - my DH, me, and our kids. But above everything else, we were willing to do absolutely anything to avoid daycare or a nanny. We both felt very strongly about this and would have sold our home and everything in it and moved to a lower COL area before resorting to daycare.

We all have different values. Leaving our children in the care of someone other than a parent for 40+ hours a week in those first few years was not something either of us was comfortable with. No amount of extra income would have been worth it.

I went back to work when our kids were older. I am so glad I was home in those earlier years. We've been married close to 30 years. It's amazing what that kind of perpective does. Money was tight in those early years, but I wouldn't change a thing.

My H would have hated never taking kids to the doctors, he really valued being a part of that.
My H loves snow days, are you serious that your H has never taken a snow day off to spend the day with the kids?
He never gave your kids a bath? Never read books to them before bed?
We have somebody clean our house and our kids are at school all day so it does not really get too dirty.

Let me guess he never "HAD TO" coach a sport, help with a play, volunteer in the classroom, go on a field trip, help with homework, get to know your children.

No nanny or daycare? Do you also home school?

Maybe life is "easier" but is not spending time with your kids and being fully a part of their life "better"?

We definitely have "different values".

Surely you are smart enough to see the point. Of course my DH took kids to the doctor. He loved snows days! He's a Fed so he usually gets the day off as well. But because I am home, he has never HAD to miss a meeting or call in sick. Because I am home, his last minute travel is never an issue.

If you can't see how having a parent at home makes like easier, I don't know what else to say. I've often joked that I would have returned to work earlier had I had a SAH wife. Our life is and always has been fairly simple. We don't rush around from activity to activity. We enjoy a much, much slower paced life even when we are in DC. That hamster wheel so many people are on holds no value to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH valued having a SAHM for our kids. Thankfully, we talked about it before we got married and were in agreement.

He has never had to worry about getting a call about a sick kid. Last minute travel is never a problem. He doesn't have to juggle his schedule to fit in doctors or dental appointments. Snow days are not stressful here- they are cause for celebration! Our house is always clean. Dinner is almost always homemade and ready when he walks in. I had everything done and the kids bathed and in pajamas so that we could eat dinner as family and relax in the evenings. We've never had to scramble to make last minute child care decisions. I've never sent a child to daycare or school sick. Family vacations are easy because we only need to work around his schedule.

All those things make life easier for all of us - my DH, me, and our kids. But above everything else, we were willing to do absolutely anything to avoid daycare or a nanny. We both felt very strongly about this and would have sold our home and everything in it and moved to a lower COL area before resorting to daycare.

We all have different values. Leaving our children in the care of someone other than a parent for 40+ hours a week in those first few years was not something either of us was comfortable with. No amount of extra income would have been worth it.

I went back to work when our kids were older. I am so glad I was home in those earlier years. We've been married close to 30 years. It's amazing what that kind of perpective does. Money was tight in those early years, but I wouldn't change a thing.

My H would have hated never taking kids to the doctors, he really valued being a part of that.
My H loves snow days, are you serious that your H has never taken a snow day off to spend the day with the kids?
He never gave your kids a bath? Never read books to them before bed?
We have somebody clean our house and our kids are at school all day so it does not really get too dirty.

Let me guess he never "HAD TO" coach a sport, help with a play, volunteer in the classroom, go on a field trip, help with homework, get to know your children.

No nanny or daycare? Do you also home school?

Maybe life is "easier" but is not spending time with your kids and being fully a part of their life "better"?

We definitely have "different values".

Surely you are smart enough to see the point. Of course my DH took kids to the doctor. He loved snows days! He's a Fed so he usually gets the day off as well. But because I am home, he has never HAD to miss a meeting or call in sick. Because I am home, his last minute travel is never an issue.

If you can't see how having a parent at home makes like easier, I don't know what else to say. I've often joked that I would have returned to work earlier had I had a SAH wife. Our life is and always has been fairly simple. We don't rush around from activity to activity. We enjoy a much, much slower paced life even when we are in DC. That hamster wheel so many people are on holds no value to us.

I don't see that your life is easier. Maybe my level of comfort for a last minute change is higher than yours. I don't see the value in you sitting at home all day while the kids are at school because you are unorganized or unable to handle last minute changes or your husband is not involved in the kids lives.

Surely you are smart enough to see the point. Of course my DH is closer to our kids than yours, he put kids/family before work/travel. It was quite easy to put others before himself. Maybe me working made that life sytle possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you kidding me? I'm a WOHM, and I want one.

Anyone want to come join our marriage? Two physician couple, four adorable kids. We need someone to do all of the cooking, meal planning, laundry, cleaning, and money management, be active in the school community and with the teachers, decorate the house and celebrate holidays, purchase all Christmas presents, plan vacations and parties, sign the older kids up for activities and drive them there and back, each the little ones during the day and play age appropriate activities, do minor repairs, and hire out and manage all yardwork.

How do you work at home as a physician?
Snd have you hired help to do all that stuff? That's a lot of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH valued having a SAHM for our kids. Thankfully, we talked about it before we got married and were in agreement.

He has never had to worry about getting a call about a sick kid. Last minute travel is never a problem. He doesn't have to juggle his schedule to fit in doctors or dental appointments. Snow days are not stressful here- they are cause for celebration! Our house is always clean. Dinner is almost always homemade and ready when he walks in. I had everything done and the kids bathed and in pajamas so that we could eat dinner as family and relax in the evenings. We've never had to scramble to make last minute child care decisions. I've never sent a child to daycare or school sick. Family vacations are easy because we only need to work around his schedule.

All those things make life easier for all of us - my DH, me, and our kids. But above everything else, we were willing to do absolutely anything to avoid daycare or a nanny. We both felt very strongly about this and would have sold our home and everything in it and moved to a lower COL area before resorting to daycare.

We all have different values. Leaving our children in the care of someone other than a parent for 40+ hours a week in those first few years was not something either of us was comfortable with. No amount of extra income would have been worth it.

I went back to work when our kids were older. I am so glad I was home in those earlier years. We've been married close to 30 years. It's amazing what that kind of perpective does. Money was tight in those early years, but I wouldn't change a thing.

My H would have hated never taking kids to the doctors, he really valued being a part of that.
My H loves snow days, are you serious that your H has never taken a snow day off to spend the day with the kids?
He never gave your kids a bath? Never read books to them before bed?
We have somebody clean our house and our kids are at school all day so it does not really get too dirty.

Let me guess he never "HAD TO" coach a sport, help with a play, volunteer in the classroom, go on a field trip, help with homework, get to know your children.

No nanny or daycare? Do you also home school?

Maybe life is "easier" but is not spending time with your kids and being fully a part of their life "better"?

We definitely have "different values".

Surely you are smart enough to see the point. Of course my DH took kids to the doctor. He loved snows days! He's a Fed so he usually gets the day off as well. But because I am home, he has never HAD to miss a meeting or call in sick. Because I am home, his last minute travel is never an issue.

If you can't see how having a parent at home makes like easier, I don't know what else to say. I've often joked that I would have returned to work earlier had I had a SAH wife. Our life is and always has been fairly simple. We don't rush around from activity to activity. We enjoy a much, much slower paced life even when we are in DC. That hamster wheel so many people are on holds no value to us.

I don't see that your life is easier. Maybe my level of comfort for a last minute change is higher than yours. I don't see the value in you sitting at home all day while the kids are at school because you are unorganized or unable to handle last minute changes or your husband is not involved in the kids lives.

Surely you are smart enough to see the point. Of course my DH is closer to our kids than yours, he put kids/family before work/travel. It was quite easy to put others before himself. Maybe me working made that life sytle possible.

The WOHM PP here is so obviously jealous of the SAHM PP. I've worked and stayed home. Obviously logistics are easier when one spouse is always available for kid-related appointments and days off. And claiming that the husband doesn't have a good relationship with his kids? Jealousy is ugly.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]Dh absolutely doesn't want one. He made it clear from day 1 that he wanted a working spouse and he wanted us to be 50/50.

That being said, I'd agree with the physician above me. I'd like a sahm too. Just don't want it to be me. [/quote]

Is it really 50/50 now? Be honest. IME, the mom does much more even if she WOH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH valued having a SAHM for our kids. Thankfully, we talked about it before we got married and were in agreement.

He has never had to worry about getting a call about a sick kid. Last minute travel is never a problem. He doesn't have to juggle his schedule to fit in doctors or dental appointments. Snow days are not stressful here- they are cause for celebration! Our house is always clean. Dinner is almost always homemade and ready when he walks in. I had everything done and the kids bathed and in pajamas so that we could eat dinner as family and relax in the evenings. We've never had to scramble to make last minute child care decisions. I've never sent a child to daycare or school sick. Family vacations are easy because we only need to work around his schedule.

All those things make life easier for all of us - my DH, me, and our kids. But above everything else, we were willing to do absolutely anything to avoid daycare or a nanny. We both felt very strongly about this and would have sold our home and everything in it and moved to a lower COL area before resorting to daycare.

We all have different values. Leaving our children in the care of someone other than a parent for 40+ hours a week in those first few years was not something either of us was comfortable with. No amount of extra income would have been worth it.

I went back to work when our kids were older. I am so glad I was home in those earlier years. We've been married close to 30 years. It's amazing what that kind of perpective does. Money was tight in those early years, but I wouldn't change a thing.

My H would have hated never taking kids to the doctors, he really valued being a part of that.
My H loves snow days, are you serious that your H has never taken a snow day off to spend the day with the kids?
He never gave your kids a bath? Never read books to them before bed?
We have somebody clean our house and our kids are at school all day so it does not really get too dirty.

Let me guess he never "HAD TO" coach a sport, help with a play, volunteer in the classroom, go on a field trip, help with homework, get to know your children.

No nanny or daycare? Do you also home school?

Maybe life is "easier" but is not spending time with your kids and being fully a part of their life "better"?

We definitely have "different values".

Surely you are smart enough to see the point. Of course my DH took kids to the doctor. He loved snows days! He's a Fed so he usually gets the day off as well. But because I am home, he has never HAD to miss a meeting or call in sick. Because I am home, his last minute travel is never an issue.

If you can't see how having a parent at home makes like easier, I don't know what else to say. I've often joked that I would have returned to work earlier had I had a SAH wife. Our life is and always has been fairly simple. We don't rush around from activity to activity. We enjoy a much, much slower paced life even when we are in DC. That hamster wheel so many people are on holds no value to us.

I don't see that your life is easier. Maybe my level of comfort for a last minute change is higher than yours. I don't see the value in you sitting at home all day while the kids are at school because you are unorganized or unable to handle last minute changes or your husband is not involved in the kids lives.

Surely you are smart enough to see the point. Of course my DH is closer to our kids than yours, he put kids/family before work/travel. It was quite easy to put others before himself. Maybe me working made that life sytle possible.

NP. Just to be clear, you don't think having a person dedicated to handling domestic affairs makes the handling of domestic affairs easier for that family?

You have 168 hours in any given week that you can allocate in any way you wish. If you're working 8 hours a day + 1 hour lunch, your already taking about 25% of you time. Assuming your spouse has the same schedule, the percentage is the same. For comparison, the SAHM's traveling husband would have to be working 85 hours a week every single week just to match the time you and your husband likely allocate to paid work.

In reality, the husband probably works 60ish hours a week on the high end and his family already has 25+ more hours in a week to devote to non-paid work activities. And you can't see how they would have it easier?

[Anonymous]

I can no longer keep quiet reading all this pro work, pro female dribble.

SAHPs have a marriage where it was more important to raise the kids instead of outsourcing the kids like so many do. Lawn, maid, aupair, chef. It's all outsourced. My kids are more important than my 401k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH valued having a SAHM for our kids. Thankfully, we talked about it before we got married and were in agreement.

He has never had to worry about getting a call about a sick kid. Last minute travel is never a problem. He doesn't have to juggle his schedule to fit in doctors or dental appointments. Snow days are not stressful here- they are cause for celebration! Our house is always clean. Dinner is almost always homemade and ready when he walks in. I had everything done and the kids bathed and in pajamas so that we could eat dinner as family and relax in the evenings. We've never had to scramble to make last minute child care decisions. I've never sent a child to daycare or school sick. Family vacations are easy because we only need to work around his schedule.

All those things make life easier for all of us - my DH, me, and our kids. But above everything else, we were willing to do absolutely anything to avoid daycare or a nanny. We both felt very strongly about this and would have sold our home and everything in it and moved to a lower COL area before resorting to daycare.

We all have different values. Leaving our children in the care of someone other than a parent for 40+ hours a week in those first few years was not something either of us was comfortable with. No amount of extra income would have been worth it.

I went back to work when our kids were older. I am so glad I was home in those earlier years. We've been married close to 30 years. It's amazing what that kind of perpective does. Money was tight in those early years, but I wouldn't change a thing.

My H would have hated never taking kids to the doctors, he really valued being a part of that.
My H loves snow days, are you serious that your H has never taken a snow day off to spend the day with the kids?
He never gave your kids a bath? Never read books to them before bed?
We have somebody clean our house and our kids are at school all day so it does not really get too dirty.

Let me guess he never "HAD TO" coach a sport, help with a play, volunteer in the classroom, go on a field trip, help with homework, get to know your children.

No nanny or daycare? Do you also home school?

Maybe life is "easier" but is not spending time with your kids and being fully a part of their life "better"?

We definitely have "different values".

Surely you are smart enough to see the point. Of course my DH took kids to the doctor. He loved snows days! He's a Fed so he usually gets the day off as well. But because I am home, he has never HAD to miss a meeting or call in sick. Because I am home, his last minute travel is never an issue.

If you can't see how having a parent at home makes like easier, I don't know what else to say. I've often joked that I would have returned to work earlier had I had a SAH wife. Our life is and always has been fairly simple. We don't rush around from activity to activity. We enjoy a much, much slower paced life even when we are in DC. That hamster wheel so many people are on holds no value to us.

I don't see that your life is easier. Maybe my level of comfort for a last minute change is higher than yours. I don't see the value in you sitting at home all day while the kids are at school because you are unorganized or unable to handle last minute changes or your husband is not involved in the kids lives.

Surely you are smart enough to see the point. Of course my DH is closer to our kids than yours, he put kids/family before work/travel. It was quite easy to put others before himself. Maybe me working made that life sytle possible.

The WOHM PP here is so obviously jealous of the SAHM PP. I've worked and stayed home. Obviously logistics are easier when one spouse is always available for kid-related appointments and days off. And claiming that the husband doesn't have a good relationship with his kids? Jealousy is ugly.

Not agreeing with your does not = jealous. I have SAH, I have worked part-time, my H has SAH, he has worked stressful jobs with lots of travel, he has worked part time. The far superior life is 2 working parents with flexible jobs and a maid to clean the house and somebody to do the lawn.

First she says her H never does NOT do bedtime or snow days and doctors appointments. Then she realized her husband sounded like an absent parent so she changed her story. I know the story all too well and it is not one to be jealous of. Dad has no clue who the teachers are, what their kids like to eat or even if they are in a sport/play. Kids don't confide in dad about problems or issues with friends. They see him for the 20 minute sit down dinner and that is it. It's pathetic.

I am so jealous of her cleaning her husband shit out of the toilet, yes that is a far superior life.

[Anonymous]

PP above, if you were so happy with your life, you would not be spuing vitriol on the internet. There is no "superior life." Every family chooses what works for them at that time in their lives. If it's easier for you to have 2 working parents, then good for you! Right now it is far easier for my family to have a SAH parent. Live and let live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH valued having a SAHM for our kids. Thankfully, we talked about it before we got married and were in agreement.

He has never had to worry about getting a call about a sick kid. Last minute travel is never a problem. He doesn't have to juggle his schedule to fit in doctors or dental appointments. Snow days are not stressful here- they are cause for celebration! Our house is always clean. Dinner is almost always homemade and ready when he walks in. I had everything done and the kids bathed and in pajamas so that we could eat dinner as family and relax in the evenings. We've never had to scramble to make last minute child care decisions. I've never sent a child to daycare or school sick. Family vacations are easy because we only need to work around his schedule.

All those things make life easier for all of us - my DH, me, and our kids. But above everything else, we were willing to do absolutely anything to avoid daycare or a nanny. We both felt very strongly about this and would have sold our home and everything in it and moved to a lower COL area before resorting to daycare.

We all have different values. Leaving our children in the care of someone other than a parent for 40+ hours a week in those first few years was not something either of us was comfortable with. No amount of extra income would have been worth it.

I went back to work when our kids were older. I am so glad I was home in those earlier years. We've been married close to 30 years. It's amazing what that kind of perpective does. Money was tight in those early years, but I wouldn't change a thing.

My H would have hated never taking kids to the doctors, he really valued being a part of that.
My H loves snow days, are you serious that your H has never taken a snow day off to spend the day with the kids?
He never gave your kids a bath? Never read books to them before bed?
We have somebody clean our house and our kids are at school all day so it does not really get too dirty.

Let me guess he never "HAD TO" coach a sport, help with a play, volunteer in the classroom, go on a field trip, help with homework, get to know your children.

No nanny or daycare? Do you also home school?

Maybe life is "easier" but is not spending time with your kids and being fully a part of their life "better"?

We definitely have "different values".

Surely you are smart enough to see the point. Of course my DH took kids to the doctor. He loved snows days! He's a Fed so he usually gets the day off as well. But because I am home, he has never HAD to miss a meeting or call in sick. Because I am home, his last minute travel is never an issue.

If you can't see how having a parent at home makes like easier, I don't know what else to say. I've often joked that I would have returned to work earlier had I had a SAH wife. Our life is and always has been fairly simple. We don't rush around from activity to activity. We enjoy a much, much slower paced life even when we are in DC. That hamster wheel so many people are on holds no value to us.

I don't see that your life is easier. Maybe my level of comfort for a last minute change is higher than yours. I don't see the value in you sitting at home all day while the kids are at school because you are unorganized or unable to handle last minute changes or your husband is not involved in the kids lives.

Surely you are smart enough to see the point. Of course my DH is closer to our kids than yours, he put kids/family before work/travel. It was quite easy to put others before himself. Maybe me working made that life sytle possible.

NP. Just to be clear, you don't think having a person dedicated to handling domestic affairs makes the handling of domestic affairs easier for that family?

You have 168 hours in any given week that you can allocate in any way you wish. If you're working 8 hours a day + 1 hour lunch, your already taking about 25% of you time. Assuming your spouse has the same schedule, the percentage is the same. For comparison, the SAHM's traveling husband would have to be working 85 hours a week every single week just to match the time you and your husband likely allocate to paid work.

In reality, the husband probably works 60ish hours a week on the high end and his family already has 25+ more hours in a week to devote to non-paid work activities. And you can't see how they would have it easier?

No I don't see being a married single parent is easier. I work 6-2:30, home at 3, flexible workplace. I WAH 2 days a week. My H does morning routine with me and alone 3 days a week. My H works 8:30-4:30, home by 5. We cook as a family, do homework as a family, do sports as a family, we go on hikes in the evening, garden when the weather is nicer, play some basketball, go on a bike ride. We read together as a family every night. That sounds like a nice easy life.

The OP has a husband that is absent/traveling often and uninvolved when he is around... no doctor's appointments/no snow days/no volunteering.

He gets home after the kids are bathed and in pajamas. That means he never is even home to play outside, toss a ball, take a walk, cook some food. HE IS NEVER THERE UNTIL THE KIDS ARE READY FOR BED.

Oh wait, i mean, let me change my story... NOPE, you told the story, absent father and husband... NO THANK YOU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP above, if you were so happy with your life, you would not be spuing vitriol on the internet. There is no "superior life." Every family chooses what works for them at that time in their lives. If it's easier for you to have 2 working parents, then good for you! Right now it is far easier for my family to have a SAH parent. Live and let live.

If you are so happy with your life why can't you just see that my life is easier and happier for me. Why can't you live and let live. I don't see being a single parent all night long as easier or better, can't you see both sides?