S/o SAHMs - why do so many men want one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised to hear "so many men" want their wives to SAH. I think some baby boomers may, but for most younger people all of that went out the window with present-day economic realities.

Then why are there so many SAHMs in this area???

Military? It's hard to have much of a career when your spouse's job moves you every 1-3 years, he frequently deploys or travels for work and a work day is often 7-7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:once you are in your 30s and out of the workforce for 5-8 years, your career is generally over. There are exceptional outliers, but most job markets have plenty of labor supply

Really? Is this true?

No. This is scared women trying to make themselves feel better, or smug, or superior. There are tons of moms who went back to work- gasp- on this very board. They tell their stories all the time.

[Anonymous]

So are all these men who knew they didn't want a SAH pulling their weight with the house and kids 50/50? Or are they all wealthy enough to outsource it all?Because not one of my WOHM friends feels their husband does, so the wives have two jobs and the husband has one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So are all these men who knew they didn't want a SAH pulling their weight with the house and kids 50/50? Or are they all wealthy enough to outsource it all?Because not one of my WOHM friends feels their husband does, so the wives have two jobs and the husband has one.

This is almost always the case and why so many women eventually get rid of their husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:once you are in your 30s and out of the workforce for 5-8 years, your career is generally over. There are exceptional outliers, but most job markets have plenty of labor supply

Really? Is this true?

No. This is scared women trying to make themselves feel better, or smug, or superior. There are tons of moms who went back to work- gasp- on this very board. They tell their stories all the time.

Yes, there are exceptions. But if you read anecdotes of DCUM as the norm, the entire DMV earns $500k.

Yes, she might get some freelance work here and there, but a true return to the workforce is a long uncertain slog. Just don't count on it; and honestly many DW get used to setting their own schedules and really answering to no one (I know I did, I have no interest in rushing home to make dinner and dealing with the hassles of needy bosses or clients).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:once you are in your 30s and out of the workforce for 5-8 years, your career is generally over. There are exceptional outliers, but most job markets have plenty of labor supply

Really? Is this true?

No. This is scared women trying to make themselves feel better, or smug, or superior. There are tons of moms who went back to work- gasp- on this very board. They tell their stories all the time.

+1
My wife was one of these. She found a job. If you're a good interviewer and can bring something to the table you'll be fine. Plus, most people realize why you took time off and respect that. When I look at candidates for a position I know I do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:once you are in your 30s and out of the workforce for 5-8 years, your career is generally over. There are exceptional outliers, but most job markets have plenty of labor supply

Really? Is this true?

No. This is scared women trying to make themselves feel better, or smug, or superior. There are tons of moms who went back to work- gasp- on this very board. They tell their stories all the time.

+1
My wife was one of these. She found a job. If you're a good interviewer and can bring something to the table you'll be fine. Plus, most people realize why you took time off and respect that. When I look at candidates for a position I know I do

+2 I call BS also. I SAHM for nine years and went back to work after a week of looking. Yes, its an anecdote, but DC has a lot of jobs and if you stay current with your network you have a great shot. One of my BFs has stayed at home for almost ten years and she went back to work a few months ago after about a month of looking. So, stop with the scare tactics already. Much hiring relies on personal connections, not abstract notions like "labor supply" -- so stay friendly with former colleagues and bosses. Chances are they will be happy to help you out.

Absolutely no one I know in the workforce judged me for having been a SAHM. I have to come to an anonymous forum for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:once you are in your 30s and out of the workforce for 5-8 years, your career is generally over. There are exceptional outliers, but most job markets have plenty of labor supply

Really? Is this true?

No. This is scared women trying to make themselves feel better, or smug, or superior. There are tons of moms who went back to work- gasp- on this very board. They tell their stories all the time.

+1
My wife was one of these. She found a job. If you're a good interviewer and can bring something to the table you'll be fine. Plus, most people realize why you took time off and respect that. When I look at candidates for a position I know I do

+2 I call BS also. I SAHM for nine years and went back to work after a week of looking. Yes, its an anecdote, but DC has a lot of jobs and if you stay current with your network you have a great shot. One of my BFs has stayed at home for almost ten years and she went back to work a few months ago after about a month of looking. So, stop with the scare tactics already. Much hiring relies on personal connections, not abstract notions like "labor supply" -- so stay friendly with former colleagues and bosses. Chances are they will be happy to help you out.

Absolutely no one I know in the workforce judged me for having been a SAHM. I have to come to an anonymous forum for that.

My neighbor has an Ivy undergrad and law degree but after 10+ years at home can't get more than volunteer work in the field. So perhaps the field matters quite a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:once you are in your 30s and out of the workforce for 5-8 years, your career is generally over. There are exceptional outliers, but most job markets have plenty of labor supply

Really? Is this true?

No. This is scared women trying to make themselves feel better, or smug, or superior. There are tons of moms who went back to work- gasp- on this very board. They tell their stories all the time.

+1
My wife was one of these. She found a job. If you're a good interviewer and can bring something to the table you'll be fine. Plus, most people realize why you took time off and respect that. When I look at candidates for a position I know I do

+2 I call BS also. I SAHM for nine years and went back to work after a week of looking. Yes, its an anecdote, but DC has a lot of jobs and if you stay current with your network you have a great shot. One of my BFs has stayed at home for almost ten years and she went back to work a few months ago after about a month of looking. So, stop with the scare tactics already. Much hiring relies on personal connections, not abstract notions like "labor supply" -- so stay friendly with former colleagues and bosses. Chances are they will be happy to help you out.

Absolutely no one I know in the workforce judged me for having been a SAHM. I have to come to an anonymous forum for that.

My neighbor has an Ivy undergrad and law degree but after 10+ years at home can't get more than volunteer work in the field. So perhaps the field matters quite a bit.

Or the type of job you're looking for. I'm sure you could find an average job fairly easily. But a cush high paying job ? I think that has to be much harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:once you are in your 30s and out of the workforce for 5-8 years, your career is generally over. There are exceptional outliers, but most job markets have plenty of labor supply

Really? Is this true?

No. This is scared women trying to make themselves feel better, or smug, or superior. There are tons of moms who went back to work- gasp- on this very board. They tell their stories all the time.

+1
My wife was one of these. She found a job. If you're a good interviewer and can bring something to the table you'll be fine. Plus, most people realize why you took time off and respect that. When I look at candidates for a position I know I do

+2 I call BS also. I SAHM for nine years and went back to work after a week of looking. Yes, its an anecdote, but DC has a lot of jobs and if you stay current with your network you have a great shot. One of my BFs has stayed at home for almost ten years and she went back to work a few months ago after about a month of looking. So, stop with the scare tactics already. Much hiring relies on personal connections, not abstract notions like "labor supply" -- so stay friendly with former colleagues and bosses. Chances are they will be happy to help you out.

Absolutely no one I know in the workforce judged me for having been a SAHM. I have to come to an anonymous forum for that.

SAHM of 15 years. I love being a SAHM and happily left a sales career to do what I've always wanted to do - be a SAHM.

In the intervening years, I've been offered two jobs in entirely different fields and I truly wasn't even looking. I declined both. Wasn't the right time and my kids needed me. If you are competent, responsible and motivated, you'll not have any trouble finding another career.

I'm prepping now to take one of the positions I was offered years ago, but have negotiated that I'll come back p/t! It can be done!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:once you are in your 30s and out of the workforce for 5-8 years, your career is generally over. There are exceptional outliers, but most job markets have plenty of labor supply

Really? Is this true?

No. This is scared women trying to make themselves feel better, or smug, or superior. There are tons of moms who went back to work- gasp- on this very board. They tell their stories all the time.

+1
My wife was one of these. She found a job. If you're a good interviewer and can bring something to the table you'll be fine. Plus, most people realize why you took time off and respect that. When I look at candidates for a position I know I do

+2 I call BS also. I SAHM for nine years and went back to work after a week of looking. Yes, its an anecdote, but DC has a lot of jobs and if you stay current with your network you have a great shot. One of my BFs has stayed at home for almost ten years and she went back to work a few months ago after about a month of looking. So, stop with the scare tactics already. Much hiring relies on personal connections, not abstract notions like "labor supply" -- so stay friendly with former colleagues and bosses. Chances are they will be happy to help you out.

Absolutely no one I know in the workforce judged me for having been a SAHM. I have to come to an anonymous forum for that.

My neighbor has an Ivy undergrad and law degree but after 10+ years at home can't get more than volunteer work in the field. So perhaps the field matters quite a bit.

Or the type of job you're looking for. I'm sure you could find an average job fairly easily. But a cush high paying job ? I think that has to be much harder.

PP who SAHM and then got a job quickly -- I agree. Especially with law firms. I guess I was lucky to be in the lowly writing/editing world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:once you are in your 30s and out of the workforce for 5-8 years, your career is generally over. There are exceptional outliers, but most job markets have plenty of labor supply

Really? Is this true?

No. This is scared women trying to make themselves feel better, or smug, or superior. There are tons of moms who went back to work- gasp- on this very board. They tell their stories all the time.

Well connected upper middle class women will have opportunities for sure. It's much harder with no connections. Each situation is different. Certainly a gap makes it harder to enter the work force, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. Especially for people who had well established careers before SAHM and maintained their connections. Or people who have a friend/relative who will hire them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:once you are in your 30s and out of the workforce for 5-8 years, your career is generally over. There are exceptional outliers, but most job markets have plenty of labor supply

Really? Is this true?

No. This is scared women trying to make themselves feel better, or smug, or superior. There are tons of moms who went back to work- gasp- on this very board. They tell their stories all the time.

+1
My wife was one of these. She found a job. If you're a good interviewer and can bring something to the table you'll be fine. Plus, most people realize why you took time off and respect that. When I look at candidates for a position I know I do

+2 I call BS also. I SAHM for nine years and went back to work after a week of looking. Yes, its an anecdote, but DC has a lot of jobs and if you stay current with your network you have a great shot. One of my BFs has stayed at home for almost ten years and she went back to work a few months ago after about a month of looking. So, stop with the scare tactics already. Much hiring relies on personal connections, not abstract notions like "labor supply" -- so stay friendly with former colleagues and bosses. Chances are they will be happy to help you out.

Absolutely no one I know in the workforce judged me for having been a SAHM. I have to come to an anonymous forum for that.

My neighbor has an Ivy undergrad and law degree but after 10+ years at home can't get more than volunteer work in the field. So perhaps the field matters quite a bit.

Or the type of job you're looking for. I'm sure you could find an average job fairly easily. But a cush high paying job ? I think that has to be much harder.

PP who SAHM and then got a job quickly -- I agree. Especially with law firms. I guess I was lucky to be in the lowly writing/editing world.[/quote
PP who was asking about option for wide to stay home sounded like they needed the money for long term goals. Freelance editing to fund a shoe habit is definitely possible; a career with benefits 401k and substantial salary different story. Look at it as employer: what skills in recent experience relate to the job vs competitors with recent training out of college. Coupled with precedent of leaving the workforce entirely for years, it's a gamble many employers are reluctant to make. But for freelance low paid jobs, one off projects, sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you kidding me? I'm a WOHM, and I want one.

Anyone want to come join our marriage? Two physician couple, four adorable kids. We need someone to do all of the cooking, meal planning, laundry, cleaning, and money management, be active in the school community and with the teachers, decorate the house and celebrate holidays, purchase all Christmas presents, plan vacations and parties, sign the older kids up for activities and drive them there and back, each the little ones during the day and play age appropriate activities, do minor repairs, and hire out and manage all yardwork.

c,,you said it sister!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And maybe three is excessive, but most people are saying she needs to hire two employees at the minimum. So SAHM does work for 2 hired people? Got it.

This isn't a fair description. Part of that OP's issue is also that her DH doesn't want to be involved hardly at all. Most SAHMs aren't in that extreme of a situation...and whenever a SAHM posts about an uninvolved DH WOHMs and SAHMs alike tell her she either needs her DH to step up or she needs to hire extra help.