Mother Expects me to pay for my younger sister's college education

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Well my parents are from a third world country but live in the Gulf states right now since my brother has a good job there and has sponsored my mother and college aged sister to live there until she moved here on an F-1 for Nova.

She is bright, has a 4.0 and worked her last year at NOVA on campus as allowed by her visa type. But it was part time and just pocket money mostly.

My siblings and I pay for her flights back and forth and my rich sister pays for her food, clothing and incidental expenses.

I married an American when I was in my twenties and we have since divorced but I obtained citizenship which is why I am still in the US. My other sister here did the same.

My rich sister is asking me to contribute $2,200 per semester to my sister's tuition and she and our brother can contribute the rest and that should cover her tution...we still do not have a plan for her room and board. My rich sister is asking college sister to call the schools and discuss RA options.

Then you have to decide if you're willing to contribute that amount.

Still strange that she didn't do anything worthwhile for 3 years after high school. And she couldn't get to universities in the Gulf states? Yes, paying for undergrad as an international student on an F-1 is going to be costly.

OP here. I have proposed that. We initially brought her here as she was depressed as she graduated HS and my father was sick and had no money to send her to a college. She just sat at home and hid in her room.

After our father died, my other sister in the US and I brought her over to get her out of a sad situation and a change of scenery. My sister also moved into a house so she had a spare room and it all worked out. It was a lot for me to contribute to NOVA but I made the sacrifice as it is v important to have the younger sister stand on her two feet.

The Gulf has great universities, my brother went there, but the fact remains that a U.S education is priceless. With a US college degree my sister would have far more employment options around the world than from a B.A from a Gulf university.

It is also a very expensive endeavor which relies on financial help from us older siblings. While I was married I had more money to help my family but as a single woman in NOVA this whole....family project is not something I have the bandwidth for, emotionally or financially.

All of your concerns are completely understandable. You have to figure out your own life, plus are saddled with figuring out your sibling's and getting pressured by the family. Not sure if it's at all doable, but putting it out there... could it be realistic for one of you sisters to sponsor the college sister for a green card? Then she should qualify for in-state tuition, which would make all of this much more doable, if the American education is so important.

Green card is unrealistic unless the sister is prepared to wait 20 years.

Well, then if it's so important to her, she has to find an American husband or a husband from your home country for example who lives here and is legal. Don't you guys do arranged marriages?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your mom you'll take care of it.

Then do whatever you want.

Do you just lie to everyone for convenience?

NP. Tbh, I've learned that sometimes with crazy parents and unrealistic demands that's the only option. Younger me was always honest to the fault, the demands just kept going up and up... Nobody here would pay $10K a semester for a sibling's tuition. Immigrants are usually much poorer, so the ask is completely out of touch with reality. College education is not obligatory. What's next? Buy sibling a yacht perhaps?

You can try to spin it any way you like, but the bottom line is that you're just a dishonest, bad person. If you lie with such ease to your own mother instead of just speaking up, that is on you. And it's not crazy to ask family members to pitch in. You don't have to do it, but it is not crazy.

That's cute, but if you don't have immigrant parents like that stay in your lane. In reality honesty just gets you wrapped up in figuring out everybody else's problems and it's never enough. There's always some poor relative who would like something not easily accessible or costly. You'd spend time and money only for the parents to take credit for it. I somehow ended up made responsible for my nephew's education, even though he has parents and grandparents. It's completely crazy to ask a young immigrant to pitch in $20K a year. This sister is an adult, she can move back to her home country where education is cheap or free. It's not like if you don't pay $20K the sister will die!

I AM an immigrant. I deal with it all the time. And I have enough integrity and self respect to not flat out tell my mother I would take care of something, knowing full well it's a lie. Say no if you don't want to or can't do it. That's fine. But justifying your lies is ridiculous. Grow a pair and be an adult.

Hahaha. I've said no plenty of times, particularly when I was young and naive. No doesn't work with all the people, especially some mothers, who think they own you forever. It's either doing what your mother wants, white lies or no contact. I ended up with no contact. I went through all the stages. There. Any other advice? I can bet that the OP's "no" will be like a water off a duck's back. Because a NORMAL person doesn't ask for a $20K free ride a year in the first place. College education is not compulsory, there are MANY way cheaper places to go and study etc. It's not like the sister is kidnapped and it's a life and death situation.

OP here. My sister can go back and resume her college education but she is refusing and says she wants to complete her degree in the US or her life is over.

Then the little drama queen needs to figure it out.

She has figured it out. She complains to mom, who in turn fastens the screws into her other children who then jump as high as necessary. It wouldn't work if the siblings would not acquiesce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Well my parents are from a third world country but live in the Gulf states right now since my brother has a good job there and has sponsored my mother and college aged sister to live there until she moved here on an F-1 for Nova.

She is bright, has a 4.0 and worked her last year at NOVA on campus as allowed by her visa type. But it was part time and just pocket money mostly.

My siblings and I pay for her flights back and forth and my rich sister pays for her food, clothing and incidental expenses.

I married an American when I was in my twenties and we have since divorced but I obtained citizenship which is why I am still in the US. My other sister here did the same.

My rich sister is asking me to contribute $2,200 per semester to my sister's tuition and she and our brother can contribute the rest and that should cover her tution...we still do not have a plan for her room and board. My rich sister is asking college sister to call the schools and discuss RA options.

Then you have to decide if you're willing to contribute that amount.

Still strange that she didn't do anything worthwhile for 3 years after high school. And she couldn't get to universities in the Gulf states? Yes, paying for undergrad as an international student on an F-1 is going to be costly.

OP here. I have proposed that. We initially brought her here as she was depressed as she graduated HS and my father was sick and had no money to send her to a college. She just sat at home and hid in her room.

After our father died, my other sister in the US and I brought her over to get her out of a sad situation and a change of scenery. My sister also moved into a house so she had a spare room and it all worked out. It was a lot for me to contribute to NOVA but I made the sacrifice as it is v important to have the younger sister stand on her two feet.

The Gulf has great universities, my brother went there, but the fact remains that a U.S education is priceless. With a US college degree my sister would have far more employment options around the world than from a B.A from a Gulf university.

It is also a very expensive endeavor which relies on financial help from us older siblings. While I was married I had more money to help my family but as a single woman in NOVA this whole....family project is not something I have the bandwidth for, emotionally or financially.

All of your concerns are completely understandable. You have to figure out your own life, plus are saddled with figuring out your sibling's and getting pressured by the family. Not sure if it's at all doable, but putting it out there... could it be realistic for one of you sisters to sponsor the college sister for a green card? Then she should qualify for in-state tuition, which would make all of this much more doable, if the American education is so important.

Sorry, but why should the U.S. and Virginia subsidize this girl more than they already have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Well my parents are from a third world country but live in the Gulf states right now since my brother has a good job there and has sponsored my mother and college aged sister to live there until she moved here on an F-1 for Nova.

She is bright, has a 4.0 and worked her last year at NOVA on campus as allowed by her visa type. But it was part time and just pocket money mostly.

My siblings and I pay for her flights back and forth and my rich sister pays for her food, clothing and incidental expenses.

I married an American when I was in my twenties and we have since divorced but I obtained citizenship which is why I am still in the US. My other sister here did the same.

My rich sister is asking me to contribute $2,200 per semester to my sister's tuition and she and our brother can contribute the rest and that should cover her tution...we still do not have a plan for her room and board. My rich sister is asking college sister to call the schools and discuss RA options.

Then you have to decide if you're willing to contribute that amount.

Still strange that she didn't do anything worthwhile for 3 years after high school. And she couldn't get to universities in the Gulf states? Yes, paying for undergrad as an international student on an F-1 is going to be costly.

OP here. I have proposed that. We initially brought her here as she was depressed as she graduated HS and my father was sick and had no money to send her to a college. She just sat at home and hid in her room.

After our father died, my other sister in the US and I brought her over to get her out of a sad situation and a change of scenery. My sister also moved into a house so she had a spare room and it all worked out. It was a lot for me to contribute to NOVA but I made the sacrifice as it is v important to have the younger sister stand on her two feet.

The Gulf has great universities, my brother went there, but the fact remains that a U.S education is priceless. With a US college degree my sister would have far more employment options around the world than from a B.A from a Gulf university.

It is also a very expensive endeavor which relies on financial help from us older siblings. While I was married I had more money to help my family but as a single woman in NOVA this whole....family project is not something I have the bandwidth for, emotionally or financially.

All of your concerns are completely understandable. You have to figure out your own life, plus are saddled with figuring out your sibling's and getting pressured by the family. Not sure if it's at all doable, but putting it out there... could it be realistic for one of you sisters to sponsor the college sister for a green card? Then she should qualify for in-state tuition, which would make all of this much more doable, if the American education is so important.

Sorry, but why should the U.S. and Virginia subsidize this girl more than they already have?

How have you subsidized her?

[Anonymous]

"Mother Expects ...." this shouldn't be a thing

If it is, you will never live a happy life, a life complete of your choosing.

[Anonymous]

Saying, "no" to parents is a sign of adulthood. You aren't afraid to make Mommy mad.

You are not truly an adult if you aren't respected as an adult.

Adults are capable of saying, "no" to other adults. That includes parents (and btw, an attempt by her at emotional manipulation shouldn't change your answer)

[Anonymous]

WHAT ABOUT THE BROTHER?

[Anonymous]

Why are people still desperate to come to this horrible racist country? I thought every place was better? Tell sister she'd be happier and better off at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Well my parents are from a third world country but live in the Gulf states right now since my brother has a good job there and has sponsored my mother and college aged sister to live there until she moved here on an F-1 for Nova.

She is bright, has a 4.0 and worked her last year at NOVA on campus as allowed by her visa type. But it was part time and just pocket money mostly.

My siblings and I pay for her flights back and forth and my rich sister pays for her food, clothing and incidental expenses.

I married an American when I was in my twenties and we have since divorced but I obtained citizenship which is why I am still in the US. My other sister here did the same.

My rich sister is asking me to contribute $2,200 per semester to my sister's tuition and she and our brother can contribute the rest and that should cover her tution...we still do not have a plan for her room and board. My rich sister is asking college sister to call the schools and discuss RA options.

Then you have to decide if you're willing to contribute that amount.

Still strange that she didn't do anything worthwhile for 3 years after high school. And she couldn't get to universities in the Gulf states? Yes, paying for undergrad as an international student on an F-1 is going to be costly.

OP here. I have proposed that. We initially brought her here as she was depressed as she graduated HS and my father was sick and had no money to send her to a college. She just sat at home and hid in her room.

After our father died, my other sister in the US and I brought her over to get her out of a sad situation and a change of scenery. My sister also moved into a house so she had a spare room and it all worked out. It was a lot for me to contribute to NOVA but I made the sacrifice as it is v important to have the younger sister stand on her two feet.

The Gulf has great universities, my brother went there, but the fact remains that a U.S education is priceless. With a US college degree my sister would have far more employment options around the world than from a B.A from a Gulf university.

It is also a very expensive endeavor which relies on financial help from us older siblings. While I was married I had more money to help my family but as a single woman in NOVA this whole....family project is not something I have the bandwidth for, emotionally or financially.

All of your concerns are completely understandable. You have to figure out your own life, plus are saddled with figuring out your sibling's and getting pressured by the family. Not sure if it's at all doable, but putting it out there... could it be realistic for one of you sisters to sponsor the college sister for a green card? Then she should qualify for in-state tuition, which would make all of this much more doable, if the American education is so important.

Sorry, but why should the U.S. and Virginia subsidize this girl more than they already have?

You do realize the "undocumented" students all get in-state tuition, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Well my parents are from a third world country but live in the Gulf states right now since my brother has a good job there and has sponsored my mother and college aged sister to live there until she moved here on an F-1 for Nova.

She is bright, has a 4.0 and worked her last year at NOVA on campus as allowed by her visa type. But it was part time and just pocket money mostly.

My siblings and I pay for her flights back and forth and my rich sister pays for her food, clothing and incidental expenses.

I married an American when I was in my twenties and we have since divorced but I obtained citizenship which is why I am still in the US. My other sister here did the same.

My rich sister is asking me to contribute $2,200 per semester to my sister's tuition and she and our brother can contribute the rest and that should cover her tution...we still do not have a plan for her room and board. My rich sister is asking college sister to call the schools and discuss RA options.

Then you have to decide if you're willing to contribute that amount.

Still strange that she didn't do anything worthwhile for 3 years after high school. And she couldn't get to universities in the Gulf states? Yes, paying for undergrad as an international student on an F-1 is going to be costly.

OP here. I have proposed that. We initially brought her here as she was depressed as she graduated HS and my father was sick and had no money to send her to a college. She just sat at home and hid in her room.

After our father died, my other sister in the US and I brought her over to get her out of a sad situation and a change of scenery. My sister also moved into a house so she had a spare room and it all worked out. It was a lot for me to contribute to NOVA but I made the sacrifice as it is v important to have the younger sister stand on her two feet.

The Gulf has great universities, my brother went there, but the fact remains that a U.S education is priceless. With a US college degree my sister would have far more employment options around the world than from a B.A from a Gulf university.

It is also a very expensive endeavor which relies on financial help from us older siblings. While I was married I had more money to help my family but as a single woman in NOVA this whole....family project is not something I have the bandwidth for, emotionally or financially.

All of your concerns are completely understandable. You have to figure out your own life, plus are saddled with figuring out your sibling's and getting pressured by the family. Not sure if it's at all doable, but putting it out there... could it be realistic for one of you sisters to sponsor the college sister for a green card? Then she should qualify for in-state tuition, which would make all of this much more doable, if the American education is so important.

Sorry, but why should the U.S. and Virginia subsidize this girl more than they already have?

You do realize the "undocumented" students all get in-state tuition, no?

She is not undocumented. She likely has an F1 visa, which means she pays the most for tuition AND she can't work other than very part time on campus for min wage. I don't know where you get the idea that undocumented immigrants get in-state tuition either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Saying, "no" to parents is a sign of adulthood. You aren't afraid to make Mommy mad.

You are not truly an adult if you aren't respected as an adult.

Adults are capable of saying, "no" to other adults. That includes parents (and btw, an attempt by her at emotional manipulation shouldn't change your answer)

this. I swear, ppl make their own problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Well my parents are from a third world country but live in the Gulf states right now since my brother has a good job there and has sponsored my mother and college aged sister to live there until she moved here on an F-1 for Nova.

She is bright, has a 4.0 and worked her last year at NOVA on campus as allowed by her visa type. But it was part time and just pocket money mostly.

My siblings and I pay for her flights back and forth and my rich sister pays for her food, clothing and incidental expenses.

I married an American when I was in my twenties and we have since divorced but I obtained citizenship which is why I am still in the US. My other sister here did the same.

My rich sister is asking me to contribute $2,200 per semester to my sister's tuition and she and our brother can contribute the rest and that should cover her tution...we still do not have a plan for her room and board. My rich sister is asking college sister to call the schools and discuss RA options.

Then you have to decide if you're willing to contribute that amount.

Still strange that she didn't do anything worthwhile for 3 years after high school. And she couldn't get to universities in the Gulf states? Yes, paying for undergrad as an international student on an F-1 is going to be costly.

OP here. I have proposed that. We initially brought her here as she was depressed as she graduated HS and my father was sick and had no money to send her to a college. She just sat at home and hid in her room.

After our father died, my other sister in the US and I brought her over to get her out of a sad situation and a change of scenery. My sister also moved into a house so she had a spare room and it all worked out. It was a lot for me to contribute to NOVA but I made the sacrifice as it is v important to have the younger sister stand on her two feet.

The Gulf has great universities, my brother went there, but the fact remains that a U.S education is priceless. With a US college degree my sister would have far more employment options around the world than from a B.A from a Gulf university.

It is also a very expensive endeavor which relies on financial help from us older siblings. While I was married I had more money to help my family but as a single woman in NOVA this whole....family project is not something I have the bandwidth for, emotionally or financially.

All of your concerns are completely understandable. You have to figure out your own life, plus are saddled with figuring out your sibling's and getting pressured by the family. Not sure if it's at all doable, but putting it out there... could it be realistic for one of you sisters to sponsor the college sister for a green card? Then she should qualify for in-state tuition, which would make all of this much more doable, if the American education is so important.

Sorry, but why should the U.S. and Virginia subsidize this girl more than they already have?

You do realize the "undocumented" students all get in-state tuition, no?

She is not undocumented. She likely has an F1 visa, which means she pays the most for tuition AND she can't work other than very part time on campus for min wage. I don't know where you get the idea that undocumented immigrants get in-state tuition either.

Yes, SHE is not undocumented and on F-1 which makes her pay out-of-state rates, however, I responded to a poster about a Green Card. Currently, undocumented students in Virginia pay in-state tuition based on a 2020 law, but it's being challenged in court. As of early 2026, 21 to 24 states (restricted in some) and the District of Columbia allow undocumented students, including DACA recipients, to pay in-state tuition rates at public colleges. California, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Maryland, Minnesota, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Virginia, and Washington are among those with broad access, often including state financial aid. Some states, such as Georgia, South Carolina, and Alabama, explicitly prohibit undocumented students from receiving in-state tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Well my parents are from a third world country but live in the Gulf states right now since my brother has a good job there and has sponsored my mother and college aged sister to live there until she moved here on an F-1 for Nova.

She is bright, has a 4.0 and worked her last year at NOVA on campus as allowed by her visa type. But it was part time and just pocket money mostly.

My siblings and I pay for her flights back and forth and my rich sister pays for her food, clothing and incidental expenses.

I married an American when I was in my twenties and we have since divorced but I obtained citizenship which is why I am still in the US. My other sister here did the same.

My rich sister is asking me to contribute $2,200 per semester to my sister's tuition and she and our brother can contribute the rest and that should cover her tution...we still do not have a plan for her room and board. My rich sister is asking college sister to call the schools and discuss RA options.

Then you have to decide if you're willing to contribute that amount.

Still strange that she didn't do anything worthwhile for 3 years after high school. And she couldn't get to universities in the Gulf states? Yes, paying for undergrad as an international student on an F-1 is going to be costly.

OP here. I have proposed that. We initially brought her here as she was depressed as she graduated HS and my father was sick and had no money to send her to a college. She just sat at home and hid in her room.

After our father died, my other sister in the US and I brought her over to get her out of a sad situation and a change of scenery. My sister also moved into a house so she had a spare room and it all worked out. It was a lot for me to contribute to NOVA but I made the sacrifice as it is v important to have the younger sister stand on her two feet.

The Gulf has great universities, my brother went there, but the fact remains that a U.S education is priceless. With a US college degree my sister would have far more employment options around the world than from a B.A from a Gulf university.

It is also a very expensive endeavor which relies on financial help from us older siblings. While I was married I had more money to help my family but as a single woman in NOVA this whole....family project is not something I have the bandwidth for, emotionally or financially.

"A US education is priceless" only for a limited number of majors, especially as an undergrad. What is your sister's major and how would it benefit her going forward? Not trying to be mean but you seem to be a bit uninformed regarding employment desirability of an inexperienced kid with a BA in social studies from George Mason🫥

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Well my parents are from a third world country but live in the Gulf states right now since my brother has a good job there and has sponsored my mother and college aged sister to live there until she moved here on an F-1 for Nova.

She is bright, has a 4.0 and worked her last year at NOVA on campus as allowed by her visa type. But it was part time and just pocket money mostly.

My siblings and I pay for her flights back and forth and my rich sister pays for her food, clothing and incidental expenses.

I married an American when I was in my twenties and we have since divorced but I obtained citizenship which is why I am still in the US. My other sister here did the same.

My rich sister is asking me to contribute $2,200 per semester to my sister's tuition and she and our brother can contribute the rest and that should cover her tution...we still do not have a plan for her room and board. My rich sister is asking college sister to call the schools and discuss RA options.

Then you have to decide if you're willing to contribute that amount.

Still strange that she didn't do anything worthwhile for 3 years after high school. And she couldn't get to universities in the Gulf states? Yes, paying for undergrad as an international student on an F-1 is going to be costly.

OP here. I have proposed that. We initially brought her here as she was depressed as she graduated HS and my father was sick and had no money to send her to a college. She just sat at home and hid in her room.

After our father died, my other sister in the US and I brought her over to get her out of a sad situation and a change of scenery. My sister also moved into a house so she had a spare room and it all worked out. It was a lot for me to contribute to NOVA but I made the sacrifice as it is v important to have the younger sister stand on her two feet.

The Gulf has great universities, my brother went there, but the fact remains that a U.S education is priceless. With a US college degree my sister would have far more employment options around the world than from a B.A from a Gulf university.

It is also a very expensive endeavor which relies on financial help from us older siblings. While I was married I had more money to help my family but as a single woman in NOVA this whole....family project is not something I have the bandwidth for, emotionally or financially.

All of your concerns are completely understandable. You have to figure out your own life, plus are saddled with figuring out your sibling's and getting pressured by the family. Not sure if it's at all doable, but putting it out there... could it be realistic for one of you sisters to sponsor the college sister for a green card? Then she should qualify for in-state tuition, which would make all of this much more doable, if the American education is so important.

Sorry, but why should the U.S. and Virginia subsidize this girl more than they already have?

You do realize the "undocumented" students all get in-state tuition, no?

She is not undocumented. She likely has an F1 visa, which means she pays the most for tuition AND she can't work other than very part time on campus for min wage. I don't know where you get the idea that undocumented immigrants get in-state tuition either.

Yes, SHE is not undocumented and on F-1 which makes her pay out-of-state rates, however, I responded to a poster about a Green Card. Currently, undocumented students in Virginia pay in-state tuition based on a 2020 law, but it's being challenged in court. As of early 2026, 21 to 24 states (restricted in some) and the District of Columbia allow undocumented students, including DACA recipients, to pay in-state tuition rates at public colleges. California, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Maryland, Minnesota, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Virginia, and Washington are among those with broad access, often including state financial aid. Some states, such as Georgia, South Carolina, and Alabama, explicitly prohibit undocumented students from receiving in-state tuition.

If the DACA kids live in the state, they should pay in-state tuition rates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Well my parents are from a third world country but live in the Gulf states right now since my brother has a good job there and has sponsored my mother and college aged sister to live there until she moved here on an F-1 for Nova.

She is bright, has a 4.0 and worked her last year at NOVA on campus as allowed by her visa type. But it was part time and just pocket money mostly.

My siblings and I pay for her flights back and forth and my rich sister pays for her food, clothing and incidental expenses.

I married an American when I was in my twenties and we have since divorced but I obtained citizenship which is why I am still in the US. My other sister here did the same.

My rich sister is asking me to contribute $2,200 per semester to my sister's tuition and she and our brother can contribute the rest and that should cover her tution...we still do not have a plan for her room and board. My rich sister is asking college sister to call the schools and discuss RA options.

Then you have to decide if you're willing to contribute that amount.

Still strange that she didn't do anything worthwhile for 3 years after high school. And she couldn't get to universities in the Gulf states? Yes, paying for undergrad as an international student on an F-1 is going to be costly.

OP here. I have proposed that. We initially brought her here as she was depressed as she graduated HS and my father was sick and had no money to send her to a college. She just sat at home and hid in her room.

After our father died, my other sister in the US and I brought her over to get her out of a sad situation and a change of scenery. My sister also moved into a house so she had a spare room and it all worked out. It was a lot for me to contribute to NOVA but I made the sacrifice as it is v important to have the younger sister stand on her two feet.

The Gulf has great universities, my brother went there, but the fact remains that a U.S education is priceless. With a US college degree my sister would have far more employment options around the world than from a B.A from a Gulf university.

It is also a very expensive endeavor which relies on financial help from us older siblings. While I was married I had more money to help my family but as a single woman in NOVA this whole....family project is not something I have the bandwidth for, emotionally or financially.

All of your concerns are completely understandable. You have to figure out your own life, plus are saddled with figuring out your sibling's and getting pressured by the family. Not sure if it's at all doable, but putting it out there... could it be realistic for one of you sisters to sponsor the college sister for a green card? Then she should qualify for in-state tuition, which would make all of this much more doable, if the American education is so important.

Sorry, but why should the U.S. and Virginia subsidize this girl more than they already have?

You do realize the "undocumented" students all get in-state tuition, no?

She is not undocumented. She likely has an F1 visa, which means she pays the most for tuition AND she can't work other than very part time on campus for min wage. I don't know where you get the idea that undocumented immigrants get in-state tuition either.

Yes, SHE is not undocumented and on F-1 which makes her pay out-of-state rates, however, I responded to a poster about a Green Card. Currently, undocumented students in Virginia pay in-state tuition based on a 2020 law, but it's being challenged in court. As of early 2026, 21 to 24 states (restricted in some) and the District of Columbia allow undocumented students, including DACA recipients, to pay in-state tuition rates at public colleges. California, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Maryland, Minnesota, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Virginia, and Washington are among those with broad access, often including state financial aid. Some states, such as Georgia, South Carolina, and Alabama, explicitly prohibit undocumented students from receiving in-state tuition.

Well, there you go. The undocumented DO get subsidized by taxpayer money when it comes to in-state tuition. And you thought in-state tuition was for state residents only. The undocumented would get a better rate at UVA than someone from Des Moines.