Mother Expects me to pay for my younger sister's college education

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look up the actual costs on the college s websites in case AI is off. The tuition is set, but room and board and other expenses vary.

Would your rich sister consider letting her stay and helping to pay for college in exchange for being a nanny?

Can your little sister take extra classes and finish in 1.5 years instead of 2 to cut costs?

Do you have any other family who could contribute?

I feel for the rich sister. She's already hosted her for 2 years. She has a family of her own. She's asking for privacy. It's likely causing marital conflict.

+1
It sounds like this sister has already done plenty. She should not be punished with others wanting more just because she is successful.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not, no. You did your part. Your sister could have found and married a rich man in two years. She did not.

[Anonymous]

Sister needs to get a job. She can take 1-2 classes at a time to get her degree.

[Anonymous]

Your subscription work while she is continuing her education. I had four employees that worked over 40 hours a week and also took a full load of college courses. All have now graduated.

[Anonymous]

Your parents are deadbeats
Your sister in college is entitled

You and that rich sister created and enabled both

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not married. Rich sister is married to a rich guy and lives in a house with a spare room where my college aged sister has been living to attend NOVA for the past two years.

My mother has no money as Rich sister, myself and my two other siblings who live abroad support her. My mother wants me to either co-sign for a student loan for my college sister or contribute 10k per adult sibling to help youngest sister finish college in America.

I don't want to co-sign a loan for 100k at least as I am single and need my credit and do not want to take on that huge risk.

I have 25k in emergency savings in addition to maybe 450k in my 401K. That's it.

Rich sister says its her husband's money and not hers and her priroity is her actual children and she already is having college sister live with her and now is ready to focus on her own family.

Perfect. The end case closed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sister needs to get a job. She can take 1-2 classes at a time to get her degree.

This may not be possible if she has a student visa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re probably right not to co-sign the student loan.

But your math is all over the place. After your sister’s scholarship, you first wrote that the rest of the tuition is $31K a year. Is the $10K your mother wants from you over two years or each year?

If it’s over two years, that’s not much more than you’ve been doing in the past, $5000 vs. $3750, only $1250 more per year. If it’s each year, then $31K split among the four of you is $7750, which is $4000 more a year than you’ve been giving.

If you’re willing to get a part-time job, you should be able to make that much working retail one day a week.

Tell your mother and sister what you amount can afford to contribute and then say no to any other requests.

Your sister should get a job and may have to look into deferring her admittance (and hopefully also the scholarship) for a year while she works to save up for her tuition.

OP here.

My sister has a 15k scholarship and admission to VCU. Co-pilot says after the scholarship room and board for 1 year will cost approx $40K – $50K.

She also got into GMU with a 10k scholarship. Co-pilot says with room and board for 1 year the cost is approx $49K – $55K

If she goes to GMU there is a possibility she may get to live with my rich sister at her house. So then the cost for tuition alone would be $29K – $30K.

However my rich sister says she is done having my sister living with her and she and her husband want privacy and to focus on their own little family.

I live in a small apartment by myself and as such cannot have her.

Sister needs to put in the leg work at options to support herself and stop being helpless. First she needs look at cheaper schools. She could also apply to be an Resident Assistant on campus which would help with room and board costs and a job would supplement the rest of her living costs. She needs to go to financial aid and see what they can do for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re probably right not to co-sign the student loan.

But your math is all over the place. After your sister’s scholarship, you first wrote that the rest of the tuition is $31K a year. Is the $10K your mother wants from you over two years or each year?

If it’s over two years, that’s not much more than you’ve been doing in the past, $5000 vs. $3750, only $1250 more per year. If it’s each year, then $31K split among the four of you is $7750, which is $4000 more a year than you’ve been giving.

If you’re willing to get a part-time job, you should be able to make that much working retail one day a week.

Tell your mother and sister what you amount can afford to contribute and then say no to any other requests.

Your sister should get a job and may have to look into deferring her admittance (and hopefully also the scholarship) for a year while she works to save up for her tuition.

OP here.

My sister has a 15k scholarship and admission to VCU. Co-pilot says after the scholarship room and board for 1 year will cost approx $40K – $50K.

She also got into GMU with a 10k scholarship. Co-pilot says with room and board for 1 year the cost is approx $49K – $55K

If she goes to GMU there is a possibility she may get to live with my rich sister at her house. So then the cost for tuition alone would be $29K – $30K.

However my rich sister says she is done having my sister living with her and she and her husband want privacy and to focus on their own little family.

I live in a small apartment by myself and as such cannot have her.

Sister needs to put in the leg work at options to support herself and stop being helpless. First she needs look at cheaper schools. She could also apply to be an Resident Assistant on campus which would help with room and board costs and a job would supplement the rest of her living costs. She needs to go to financial aid and see what they can do for her.

OP here. college sister is crying and throwing tantrums saying her life is over and her future is in jeopardy. My rich sister has been doing research to help her. I am so exhausted with my own life I don't have much bandwidth to think of this. I myself need to ensure I am okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re probably right not to co-sign the student loan.

But your math is all over the place. After your sister’s scholarship, you first wrote that the rest of the tuition is $31K a year. Is the $10K your mother wants from you over two years or each year?

If it’s over two years, that’s not much more than you’ve been doing in the past, $5000 vs. $3750, only $1250 more per year. If it’s each year, then $31K split among the four of you is $7750, which is $4000 more a year than you’ve been giving.

If you’re willing to get a part-time job, you should be able to make that much working retail one day a week.

Tell your mother and sister what you amount can afford to contribute and then say no to any other requests.

Your sister should get a job and may have to look into deferring her admittance (and hopefully also the scholarship) for a year while she works to save up for her tuition.

OP here.

My sister has a 15k scholarship and admission to VCU. Co-pilot says after the scholarship room and board for 1 year will cost approx $40K – $50K.

She also got into GMU with a 10k scholarship. Co-pilot says with room and board for 1 year the cost is approx $49K – $55K

If she goes to GMU there is a possibility she may get to live with my rich sister at her house. So then the cost for tuition alone would be $29K – $30K.

However my rich sister says she is done having my sister living with her and she and her husband want privacy and to focus on their own little family.

I live in a small apartment by myself and as such cannot have her.

Sister needs to put in the leg work at options to support herself and stop being helpless. First she needs look at cheaper schools. She could also apply to be an Resident Assistant on campus which would help with room and board costs and a job would supplement the rest of her living costs. She needs to go to financial aid and see what they can do for her.

OP here. college sister is crying and throwing tantrums saying her life is over and her future is in jeopardy. My rich sister has been doing research to help her. I am so exhausted with my own life I don't have much bandwidth to think of this. I myself need to ensure I am okay.

Tell your mother to get a 50 hour per week job and pay for her daughter's college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sister needs to get a job. She can take 1-2 classes at a time to get her degree.

If she is on an F1 visa, she can't work anywhere but the school and no more than part time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re probably right not to co-sign the student loan.

But your math is all over the place. After your sister’s scholarship, you first wrote that the rest of the tuition is $31K a year. Is the $10K your mother wants from you over two years or each year?

If it’s over two years, that’s not much more than you’ve been doing in the past, $5000 vs. $3750, only $1250 more per year. If it’s each year, then $31K split among the four of you is $7750, which is $4000 more a year than you’ve been giving.

If you’re willing to get a part-time job, you should be able to make that much working retail one day a week.

Tell your mother and sister what you amount can afford to contribute and then say no to any other requests.

Your sister should get a job and may have to look into deferring her admittance (and hopefully also the scholarship) for a year while she works to save up for her tuition.

OP here.

My sister has a 15k scholarship and admission to VCU. Co-pilot says after the scholarship room and board for 1 year will cost approx $40K – $50K.

She also got into GMU with a 10k scholarship. Co-pilot says with room and board for 1 year the cost is approx $49K – $55K

If she goes to GMU there is a possibility she may get to live with my rich sister at her house. So then the cost for tuition alone would be $29K – $30K.

However my rich sister says she is done having my sister living with her and she and her husband want privacy and to focus on their own little family.

I live in a small apartment by myself and as such cannot have her.

Sister needs to put in the leg work at options to support herself and stop being helpless. First she needs look at cheaper schools. She could also apply to be an Resident Assistant on campus which would help with room and board costs and a job would supplement the rest of her living costs. She needs to go to financial aid and see what they can do for her.

OP here. college sister is crying and throwing tantrums saying her life is over and her future is in jeopardy. My rich sister has been doing research to help her. I am so exhausted with my own life I don't have much bandwidth to think of this. I myself need to ensure I am okay.

Let her cry and throw tantrums. None of this should be your problem. She's an adult, what, 23 years old (18+3 years home+2 years here)? She should figure this out herself and not hope that her siblings are going to pay her way. She has options, none of this is the end of the world. She behaves entitled and manipulative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your parents are deadbeats
Your sister in college is entitled

You and that rich sister created and enabled both

Good luck!

I always love it when Americans who have no idea how poor the rest of the world is chime in with comments like this. And lets be clear, I've repeatedly told OP she is not responsible for her sister's education, but this is the kind of uneducated, uninformed nonsense that boggles the mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your parents are deadbeats
Your sister in college is entitled

You and that rich sister created and enabled both

Good luck!

I always love it when Americans who have no idea how poor the rest of the world is chime in with comments like this. And lets be clear, I've repeatedly told OP she is not responsible for her sister's education, but this is the kind of uneducated, uninformed nonsense that boggles the mind.

Which is why these poor people get the undergrad at home. There are many scholarships for grad studies. I think many immigrants can say that they got accepted to a prestigious university or an Ivy in the US and couldn't go, because they didn't have the money. In a poor country, $20K is A LOT. I got accepted to Cornell and didn't have the money required for room and board, my tuition was covered. Ended up in Europe for grad school and afterwards came back to the US. The sister and mom are catastrophizing.

[Anonymous]

How did your sister and you become legal residents? If your sister is on a F1 visa then how is she supposed to work in the US after she graduates? Why can’t she attend school in your home country which is way cheaper? Why didn’t she go to college after graduating high school in your home country?