Mother Expects me to pay for my younger sister's college education

[Anonymous]

Who paid for your and your sister’s college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who paid for your and your sister’s college?

She said her dad paid, as the family lived in the US at the time and that he took a 20K loan. Meaning, in-state rates were paid. Paying out-of-state rates is like paying for 3-4 people depending on college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Well my parents are from a third world country but live in the Gulf states right now since my brother has a good job there and has sponsored my mother and college aged sister to live there until she moved here on an F-1 for Nova.

She is bright, has a 4.0 and worked her last year at NOVA on campus as allowed by her visa type. But it was part time and just pocket money mostly.

My siblings and I pay for her flights back and forth and my rich sister pays for her food, clothing and incidental expenses.

I married an American when I was in my twenties and we have since divorced but I obtained citizenship which is why I am still in the US. My other sister here did the same.

My rich sister is asking me to contribute $2,200 per semester to my sister's tuition and she and our brother can contribute the rest and that should cover her tution...we still do not have a plan for her room and board. My rich sister is asking college sister to call the schools and discuss RA options.

Then you have to decide if you're willing to contribute that amount.

Still strange that she didn't do anything worthwhile for 3 years after high school. And she couldn't get to universities in the Gulf states? Yes, paying for undergrad as an international student on an F-1 is going to be costly.

OP here. I have proposed that. We initially brought her here as she was depressed as she graduated HS and my father was sick and had no money to send her to a college. She just sat at home and hid in her room.

After our father died, my other sister in the US and I brought her over to get her out of a sad situation and a change of scenery. My sister also moved into a house so she had a spare room and it all worked out. It was a lot for me to contribute to NOVA but I made the sacrifice as it is v important to have the younger sister stand on her two feet.

The Gulf has great universities, my brother went there, but the fact remains that a U.S education is priceless. With a US college degree my sister would have far more employment options around the world than from a B.A from a Gulf university.

It is also a very expensive endeavor which relies on financial help from us older siblings. While I was married I had more money to help my family but as a single woman in NOVA this whole....family project is not something I have the bandwidth for, emotionally or financially.

All of your concerns are completely understandable. You have to figure out your own life, plus are saddled with figuring out your sibling's and getting pressured by the family. Not sure if it's at all doable, but putting it out there... could it be realistic for one of you sisters to sponsor the college sister for a green card? Then she should qualify for in-state tuition, which would make all of this much more doable, if the American education is so important.

Sorry, but why should the U.S. and Virginia subsidize this girl more than they already have?

How have you subsidized her?

You honestly think that community college tuition covers the actual cost? Or that taxpayers should provide in-state tuition for someone who is not even from the country, let alone the state? And, no, even your in-state tuition does not cover the cost at a public university.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Well my parents are from a third world country but live in the Gulf states right now since my brother has a good job there and has sponsored my mother and college aged sister to live there until she moved here on an F-1 for Nova.

She is bright, has a 4.0 and worked her last year at NOVA on campus as allowed by her visa type. But it was part time and just pocket money mostly.

My siblings and I pay for her flights back and forth and my rich sister pays for her food, clothing and incidental expenses.

I married an American when I was in my twenties and we have since divorced but I obtained citizenship which is why I am still in the US. My other sister here did the same.

My rich sister is asking me to contribute $2,200 per semester to my sister's tuition and she and our brother can contribute the rest and that should cover her tution...we still do not have a plan for her room and board. My rich sister is asking college sister to call the schools and discuss RA options.

Then you have to decide if you're willing to contribute that amount.

Still strange that she didn't do anything worthwhile for 3 years after high school. And she couldn't get to universities in the Gulf states? Yes, paying for undergrad as an international student on an F-1 is going to be costly.

OP here. I have proposed that. We initially brought her here as she was depressed as she graduated HS and my father was sick and had no money to send her to a college. She just sat at home and hid in her room.

After our father died, my other sister in the US and I brought her over to get her out of a sad situation and a change of scenery. My sister also moved into a house so she had a spare room and it all worked out. It was a lot for me to contribute to NOVA but I made the sacrifice as it is v important to have the younger sister stand on her two feet.

The Gulf has great universities, my brother went there, but the fact remains that a U.S education is priceless. With a US college degree my sister would have far more employment options around the world than from a B.A from a Gulf university.

It is also a very expensive endeavor which relies on financial help from us older siblings. While I was married I had more money to help my family but as a single woman in NOVA this whole....family project is not something I have the bandwidth for, emotionally or financially.

All of your concerns are completely understandable. You have to figure out your own life, plus are saddled with figuring out your sibling's and getting pressured by the family. Not sure if it's at all doable, but putting it out there... could it be realistic for one of you sisters to sponsor the college sister for a green card? Then she should qualify for in-state tuition, which would make all of this much more doable, if the American education is so important.

Sorry, but why should the U.S. and Virginia subsidize this girl more than they already have?

You do realize the "undocumented" students all get in-state tuition, no?

Yes, but that doesn't mean that I support it. The VA policy is currently facing a federal lawsuit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Well my parents are from a third world country but live in the Gulf states right now since my brother has a good job there and has sponsored my mother and college aged sister to live there until she moved here on an F-1 for Nova.

She is bright, has a 4.0 and worked her last year at NOVA on campus as allowed by her visa type. But it was part time and just pocket money mostly.

My siblings and I pay for her flights back and forth and my rich sister pays for her food, clothing and incidental expenses.

I married an American when I was in my twenties and we have since divorced but I obtained citizenship which is why I am still in the US. My other sister here did the same.

My rich sister is asking me to contribute $2,200 per semester to my sister's tuition and she and our brother can contribute the rest and that should cover her tution...we still do not have a plan for her room and board. My rich sister is asking college sister to call the schools and discuss RA options.

Then you have to decide if you're willing to contribute that amount.

Still strange that she didn't do anything worthwhile for 3 years after high school. And she couldn't get to universities in the Gulf states? Yes, paying for undergrad as an international student on an F-1 is going to be costly.

OP here. I have proposed that. We initially brought her here as she was depressed as she graduated HS and my father was sick and had no money to send her to a college. She just sat at home and hid in her room.

After our father died, my other sister in the US and I brought her over to get her out of a sad situation and a change of scenery. My sister also moved into a house so she had a spare room and it all worked out. It was a lot for me to contribute to NOVA but I made the sacrifice as it is v important to have the younger sister stand on her two feet.

The Gulf has great universities, my brother went there, but the fact remains that a U.S education is priceless. With a US college degree my sister would have far more employment options around the world than from a B.A from a Gulf university.

It is also a very expensive endeavor which relies on financial help from us older siblings. While I was married I had more money to help my family but as a single woman in NOVA this whole....family project is not something I have the bandwidth for, emotionally or financially.

All of your concerns are completely understandable. You have to figure out your own life, plus are saddled with figuring out your sibling's and getting pressured by the family. Not sure if it's at all doable, but putting it out there... could it be realistic for one of you sisters to sponsor the college sister for a green card? Then she should qualify for in-state tuition, which would make all of this much more doable, if the American education is so important.

Sorry, but why should the U.S. and Virginia subsidize this girl more than they already have?

You do realize the "undocumented" students all get in-state tuition, no?

She is not undocumented. She likely has an F1 visa, which means she pays the most for tuition AND she can't work other than very part time on campus for min wage. I don't know where you get the idea that undocumented immigrants get in-state tuition either.

OK - follow along. The PP was proposing that she get a green card so that she could get in-state tuition. And yes, VA was providing in-state tuition to illegals, but this is facing a lawsuit. Even paying full tuition to a community college or a public university does not cover full costs, which is why the school is public... it receives taxpayer funding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Well my parents are from a third world country but live in the Gulf states right now since my brother has a good job there and has sponsored my mother and college aged sister to live there until she moved here on an F-1 for Nova.

She is bright, has a 4.0 and worked her last year at NOVA on campus as allowed by her visa type. But it was part time and just pocket money mostly.

My siblings and I pay for her flights back and forth and my rich sister pays for her food, clothing and incidental expenses.

I married an American when I was in my twenties and we have since divorced but I obtained citizenship which is why I am still in the US. My other sister here did the same.

My rich sister is asking me to contribute $2,200 per semester to my sister's tuition and she and our brother can contribute the rest and that should cover her tution...we still do not have a plan for her room and board. My rich sister is asking college sister to call the schools and discuss RA options.

Then you have to decide if you're willing to contribute that amount.

Still strange that she didn't do anything worthwhile for 3 years after high school. And she couldn't get to universities in the Gulf states? Yes, paying for undergrad as an international student on an F-1 is going to be costly.

OP here. I have proposed that. We initially brought her here as she was depressed as she graduated HS and my father was sick and had no money to send her to a college. She just sat at home and hid in her room.

After our father died, my other sister in the US and I brought her over to get her out of a sad situation and a change of scenery. My sister also moved into a house so she had a spare room and it all worked out. It was a lot for me to contribute to NOVA but I made the sacrifice as it is v important to have the younger sister stand on her two feet.

The Gulf has great universities, my brother went there, but the fact remains that a U.S education is priceless. With a US college degree my sister would have far more employment options around the world than from a B.A from a Gulf university.

It is also a very expensive endeavor which relies on financial help from us older siblings. While I was married I had more money to help my family but as a single woman in NOVA this whole....family project is not something I have the bandwidth for, emotionally or financially.

All of your concerns are completely understandable. You have to figure out your own life, plus are saddled with figuring out your sibling's and getting pressured by the family. Not sure if it's at all doable, but putting it out there... could it be realistic for one of you sisters to sponsor the college sister for a green card? Then she should qualify for in-state tuition, which would make all of this much more doable, if the American education is so important.

Sorry, but why should the U.S. and Virginia subsidize this girl more than they already have?

You do realize the "undocumented" students all get in-state tuition, no?

She is not undocumented. She likely has an F1 visa, which means she pays the most for tuition AND she can't work other than very part time on campus for min wage. I don't know where you get the idea that undocumented immigrants get in-state tuition either.

OK - follow along. The PP was proposing that she get a green card so that she could get in-state tuition. And yes, VA was providing in-state tuition to illegals, but this is facing a lawsuit. Even paying full tuition to a community college or a public university does not cover full costs, which is why the school is public... it receives taxpayer funding.

"At George Mason University, net student tuition and fees cover approximately 37% of the full operating budget.The remaining revenue needed to run the university's $1.56 billion operations comes from several other core sources:State Appropriations (~24%): Funding from the Commonwealth of Virginia.Grants & Contracts (~18%): Research funding and sponsored programs.Auxiliary Enterprises (~19%): Revenue from on-campus housing, dining, athletics, and parking.Other Sources (~2%): Investments and miscellaneous operating income." - Google AI

[Anonymous]

Just chiming in for posters who say she should pay since she got hers paid. Hers was with in-state tuition as the family lived in the US at the time. Most likely the OP graduated a US high school. Not sure what their legal status was or why the parents didn't apply for green cards. Maybe they were illegal? The sister however is on an international student visa, which means that at George Mason, her tuition will be $39,313 while the in-state is $14,316. I think most people who suggest to the OP to pay don't realize the difference.

[Anonymous]

Here is my suggestion.

One more year at CC, enough to keep her visa.

Next fall she applies to college for fall 2027 in search of merit aid at tier two private colleges, where she is overqualified, they need students with her stats or at other state universities where they provide access to on state tuition to highly qualified students.

Read The Price you Pay for College. And this website is a great list of colleges that are “buyers” for good students.

https://jeffselingo.com/which-colleges-are-really-buyers-and-which-are-sellers

Some of these may have openings this fall for strong students, it is worth looking into.

[Anonymous]

^ best advice

[Anonymous]

Maybe I've missed it, but why aren't student loans an option? If everyone thinks the US education will be the best in terms of future job prospects, surely its worth an investment (as in, the student takes on the loans?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I've missed it, but why aren't student loans an option? If everyone thinks the US education will be the best in terms of future job prospects, surely its worth an investment (as in, the student takes on the loans?)

International students on an F-1 visa are excluded from many loans local kids can take. For the ones they're eligible, they need co-signers. I mean think of it this way, would you give a loan to a foreigner who can take off at any time?