Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans

[Anonymous]

BMI of 25 would be roughly 5’5” and 150 lbs, which isn’t abnormal for a 45 year old woman but I can see it sticking out a little bit for a ritzy private HS kid. Cut way back on snacks, sweets, cook and eat more meals at home/much less restaurant food. It’s easy for the teen age range to drop weight quickly. Also make sure she looks good in her clothes - bras that actually fit and don’t cause back fat and lumps, pants that are the right size and aren’t giving muffin top. Physical activity is important, but just “doing a sport” alone isn’t going to really move the needle on weight if the diet doesn’t improve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 is def chunky. Above that is fat.

She will be remembered as the big girl.

Snacks = fruits and veggies and a few nuts. NO junk food in the house! That one is on you, mom.

You’re so unoriginal. Do you just copy and paste this wherever you can thinking you’re saying something interesting?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1227561.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 is def chunky. Above that is fat.

She will be remembered as the big girl.

Snacks = fruits and veggies and a few nuts. NO junk food in the house! That one is on you, mom.

25 is chunky for an adult, definitely large for a teen when all the other girls are twigs.

It is one thing to have a BMI of 25 when you are in your forties and had a few kids. A teen’s metabolism should still be very high.

I just calculated by BMI and I’m a 22. I feel totally not thin and chubby. I’m definitely average in size, not that thin.

If you feel chubby at a BMI of 22, then you probably shouldn’t give advice and should work on your own issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually don’t think it’s the actual sport itself that keeps kids lean as it’s mostly diet that determines things. The benefit of a sport is that they are active AND busy. Lots of people mindlessly snack and if she has no EC she’s doing that daily most likely. Even if she did a busy EC that was non athletic it would probably help. But something out of school would also work? There are lots of rec teams. Dance studios etc.

These kids are all lean bc they have pushy parents who get them involved in activities and they have the money to do that.

+1

Keeping busy definitely prevents a lot of the mindless snacking.

Also, OP, genes…..yes rich people in the US tend to be thinner. And taller. Genetically. That advantage is amplified by increased healthy diet and exercise, yes- but genes play a large role.

TBH with you, this school sounds like a very unhealthy environment for your DD for a lot of reasons. This is probably only the tip of the iceberg. Why keep her in a school where she is so out of place and is going to have a big battle on her hands socially?? Maybe it will make her stronger- but it is just as likely to create mental health issues.

I’d rather my kid be at a school surrounded by kids focused on health and exercise than a school where drugs and violence are the norm where she might get raped in the bathroom. Not even comparable.

Is this OP? There’s some serious hyperbole there. I’m starting to wonder if you placed her in the private school hoping some of that svelte-ness would rub off on her.

This is a gross thread. Rich girls get victimized too, and they sure do take drugs. They just get assaulted by boys who are wealthier

[Anonymous]

Has your DD had a pediatrician checkup recently? They would be my first stop.

Diet wise, high protein lower carb (not no carb) is probably the best way to steer your DD. In my opinion. Think eggs for breakfast, salad with protein for lunch, protein and veggies for dinner. Add in modest servings of whole grains. Snack on fresh fruits (but not to excessive amounts) or cheese etc. Keep all junk food OUT of your house- chips, crackers, any type of granola bars or snack bars, all sweets etc. If she wants a treat when out then fine- but buy a single serving and be done with it.

Exercise is great but diet is the main thing.

It isn’t unusual (or new) for a teen or woman of any age to want to lose a few pounds. Just keep an eye on things to make sure it doesn’t develop into something unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Go for walks together as much as you can. Good for stress and blood sugar

[Anonymous]

Just forget it. Let her be. There is probably more of a spectrum of weight there than you realize, and some people are just born to be weightier.

My two kids aren't biologically related, have Case in point: identical food available at home (different tastes in some food, so they eat slightly different things)--one is a little heavy and one is a stick. Both of them match their parents' body types. The world would be better if we just relaxed about it. We can't all be equally smart, thin, chill, rich, etc etc. We CAN all try to be comfortable with who we are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:its a simple equation that works for pretty much everyone - eat less, move more.

Pretty much this.
Enjoy eating lots of calories? Then make sure your activity level matches.
Don’t enjoy activity? Eat fewer calories.

Either way, stay away from heavily processed crap.

Actually for some people, exercise stimulates conservation of calories and slows the metabolism— your body thinks there is scarcity and conserves. It’s saves energy in other ways, like running cooler, breathing slower in not execution times.

In that case start by eating less.

[Anonymous]

OP I have a similarly aged son at public school who also went through a lot of angst about how he looked around this age. All I can say is please do whatever you can to avoid your DD becoming obsessed with her image, her size, and her eating. This age is so tough for anyone, and especially in a new school. My only practical advice is to help her keep busy - find activities, a job, no-cut sports. The less time that they have to scour the internet for tips on how to lose weight etc, the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:its a simple equation that works for pretty much everyone - eat less, move more.

Pretty much this.
Enjoy eating lots of calories? Then make sure your activity level matches.
Don’t enjoy activity? Eat fewer calories.

Either way, stay away from heavily processed crap.

Actually for some people, exercise stimulates conservation of calories and slows the metabolism— your body thinks there is scarcity and conserves. It’s saves energy in other ways, like running cooler, breathing slower in not execution times.

Go watch “Alone” - every single participant loses significant amounts of weight, even those who are relatively successful at procuring food, because they’re still burning a ton and not eating enough to cover it. That’s how human bodies *actually* work.

Or even Survivor. Every single person on the show loses tons of weight including the larger contestants.

Guess what happens when they start eating again? Their bodies think they’ve been starving, hoard more calories, they gain and it’s even harder to lose the weight. Check out what happened to the contestants on “The Biggest Loser” or whatever that weight reality show was called.

People- it is not just a lack of willpower that makes some people heavier than others. No one chooses to be overweight, but it’s harder for them to stop eating than it is for you. It’s very easy to criticize others on an anonymous website. But check yourself before you hit enter. It could be you or your family someday…then you’ll get it.

[Anonymous]

OP, the talk here about weight and appearance are exactly what your DD is dealing with at her school. Kids get it from their parents and their peers who get it from their parents. They think and look the same. Pretty homogeneous.

You have to be the different parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has your DD had a pediatrician checkup recently? They would be my first stop.

Diet wise, high protein lower carb (not no carb) is probably the best way to steer your DD. In my opinion. Think eggs for breakfast, salad with protein for lunch, protein and veggies for dinner. Add in modest servings of whole grains. Snack on fresh fruits (but not to excessive amounts) or cheese etc. Keep all junk food OUT of your house- chips, crackers, any type of granola bars or snack bars, all sweets etc. If she wants a treat when out then fine- but buy a single serving and be done with it.

Exercise is great but diet is the main thing.

It isn’t unusual (or new) for a teen or woman of any age to want to lose a few pounds. Just keep an eye on things to make sure it doesn’t develop into something unhealthy.

I’m glad this works for you. But even keeping all junk food out of my house…DD would eat it at yours. She eats it on the soccer sidelines of her tournaments (yes, an overweight travel soccer player). She eats it after school when she and friends go to Starbucks. She eats it every weekend when she goes to birthday parties, sleepovers, etc- junk food is everywhere for kids. And truthfully, restricting food doesn’t teach her how to have a healthy relationship, it just makes her want to hide what she’s eating. And she rightfully thinks it’s unfair that all her friends have this stuff and she doesn’t. It’s really not so simple as, just done have it in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:its a simple equation that works for pretty much everyone - eat less, move more.

Pretty much this.
Enjoy eating lots of calories? Then make sure your activity level matches.
Don’t enjoy activity? Eat fewer calories.

Either way, stay away from heavily processed crap.

Actually for some people, exercise stimulates conservation of calories and slows the metabolism— your body thinks there is scarcity and conserves. It’s saves energy in other ways, like running cooler, breathing slower in not execution times.

Go watch “Alone” - every single participant loses significant amounts of weight, even those who are relatively successful at procuring food, because they’re still burning a ton and not eating enough to cover it. That’s how human bodies *actually* work.

Or even Survivor. Every single person on the show loses tons of weight including the larger contestants.

Guess what happens when they start eating again? Their bodies think they’ve been starving, hoard more calories, they gain and it’s even harder to lose the weight. Check out what happened to the contestants on “The Biggest Loser” or whatever that weight reality show was called.

People- it is not just a lack of willpower that makes some people heavier than others. No one chooses to be overweight, but it’s harder for them to stop eating than it is for you. It’s very easy to criticize others on an anonymous website. But check yourself before you hit enter. It could be you or your family someday…then you’ll get it.

Just. Stop.

Believe or not, in a country in which two thirds of adults are overweight or obese, the vast majority of us know and care about at least one overweight person. And for the vast, vast majority of people, it is absolutely a lack of willpower as well as a refusal to experience the slightest pang of hunger for even the tiniest length of time.

Teach your children that they don’t always need to feel full and then they won’t get to the point of being overweight and unable to control their urges to eat (ie food addiction) in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:its a simple equation that works for pretty much everyone - eat less, move more.

Pretty much this.
Enjoy eating lots of calories? Then make sure your activity level matches.
Don’t enjoy activity? Eat fewer calories.

Either way, stay away from heavily processed crap.

Actually for some people, exercise stimulates conservation of calories and slows the metabolism— your body thinks there is scarcity and conserves. It’s saves energy in other ways, like running cooler, breathing slower in not execution times.

Go watch “Alone” - every single participant loses significant amounts of weight, even those who are relatively successful at procuring food, because they’re still burning a ton and not eating enough to cover it. That’s how human bodies *actually* work.

Or even Survivor. Every single person on the show loses tons of weight including the larger contestants.

Guess what happens when they start eating again? Their bodies think they’ve been starving, hoard more calories, they gain and it’s even harder to lose the weight. Check out what happened to the contestants on “The Biggest Loser” or whatever that weight reality show was called.

People- it is not just a lack of willpower that makes some people heavier than others. No one chooses to be overweight, but it’s harder for them to stop eating than it is for you. It’s very easy to criticize others on an anonymous website. But check yourself before you hit enter. It could be you or your family someday…then you’ll get it.

Just. Stop.

Believe or not, in a country in which two thirds of adults are overweight or obese, the vast majority of us know and care about at least one overweight person. And for the vast, vast majority of people, it is absolutely a lack of willpower as well as a refusal to experience the slightest pang of hunger for even the tiniest length of time.

Teach your children that they don’t always need to feel full and then they won’t get to the point of being overweight and unable to control their urges to eat (ie food addiction) in the first place.

It's really not that simple. The willpower element doesn't have to be as strong for some people than others. Just try to relate it to another issue in your life. I personally never crave alcohol, I can have a glass of wine one day and then none for months and never even think about it. Some people truly struggle with addiction and cannot stop. With food it's harder in a way because you cannot just stop needing food. You have to face your addiction at every meal. Some people on weight threads lack compassion to a concerning degree. There is too much morality associated to obesity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:its a simple equation that works for pretty much everyone - eat less, move more.

Pretty much this.
Enjoy eating lots of calories? Then make sure your activity level matches.
Don’t enjoy activity? Eat fewer calories.

Either way, stay away from heavily processed crap.

Actually for some people, exercise stimulates conservation of calories and slows the metabolism— your body thinks there is scarcity and conserves. It’s saves energy in other ways, like running cooler, breathing slower in not execution times.

Go watch “Alone” - every single participant loses significant amounts of weight, even those who are relatively successful at procuring food, because they’re still burning a ton and not eating enough to cover it. That’s how human bodies *actually* work.

Or even Survivor. Every single person on the show loses tons of weight including the larger contestants.

Guess what happens when they start eating again? Their bodies think they’ve been starving, hoard more calories, they gain and it’s even harder to lose the weight. Check out what happened to the contestants on “The Biggest Loser” or whatever that weight reality show was called.

People- it is not just a lack of willpower that makes some people heavier than others. No one chooses to be overweight, but it’s harder for them to stop eating than it is for you. It’s very easy to criticize others on an anonymous website. But check yourself before you hit enter. It could be you or your family someday…then you’ll get it.

Just. Stop.

Believe or not, in a country in which two thirds of adults are overweight or obese, the vast majority of us know and care about at least one overweight person. And for the vast, vast majority of people, it is absolutely a lack of willpower as well as a refusal to experience the slightest pang of hunger for even the tiniest length of time.

Teach your children that they don’t always need to feel full and then they won’t get to the point of being overweight and unable to control their urges to eat (ie food addiction) in the first place.

It’s the endocrine disruptors and other elements that our kids have been exposed to that has caused people to be out of whack. That’s why prior generations kids were leaner. They didn’t go around hungry if they could help it.