Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid does two travel sports (all her choice) and she is in great shape because of it. That is the way to get that body type.

Encourage health eating and does she want to get involved in a sport that is less popular at her school? I am thinking XC, track? Family walk around the neighborhood.

Also I worry about this school being a good fit

Teens who play in sports have all kinds of body types. You don’t get “that body type” whatever that means. Some softball players are built like Mac trucks. Some soccer players have thick legs. Genetics don’t go away because someone plays a sport. You can get in better shape and a healthy weight but your body type stays the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Protein.

I have been overweight my entire life. Finally losing. Always thought I ate relatively healthy. Nope. Too many (lower nutrition) carbs and not enough protein. Not saying keto level of rigidity. Just prioritizing protein at meals.

And then just make sure she's moving each day. Take walks together after dinner. Tell her you are doing it for you..but would love the company if she's up for it. Also a great time to just chat about life.

My lean boys are trying to gain weight and eat more protein. I’m not sure this is the answer.

Make sure your boys know they should be eating protein to help build *muscle*, but they need to be in a caloric surplus in order to do so, and for that they need to be eating lots and lots of carbs.

Protein is the most satiating macro.

They eat a ton but they are athletes and burn a lot of calories. They eat a lot of everything.

That’s all well and good, but your previous response (“I’m not sure [protein] is the answer [for losing weight]”) must have been deliberately disingenuous.

Your boys aren’t eating *protein* to gain weight. They are eating “a ton” to gain weight.

You're being disingenious. Bc when people say that their teen boys are trying to put on weight, they don't just mean a higher number on the scale; those boys are trying to put on muscle mass.

So yes, those boys are eating a ton of protein. My 14yo hits the weights hard. He's 5'9 and about 160-165 lbs (still very lean) and he consumes over 200 grams of protein a day. As he gets up to 185-200 lbs, we'll increase his protein to closer to 225 grams.

But nobody just wants to put on "weight" They want a clean bulk. and the teenagers that are smart about it are consuming a TON of protein

You think about your sons’ bodies too much.

I’m not that pp but pp who said my sons are trying to gain weight. They are 135 and 125 pounds. They are very lean and trying to gain muscle. I was not being disingenuous. I was simply saying that focusing on eating protein is not the best way to lose weight.

[Anonymous]

Obesity is a major problem in this country. It would be solved if people didn’t eat constantly and snack all day long. Instead have one or two healthy meals a day and have light, healthy snacks if you get hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Protein.

I have been overweight my entire life. Finally losing. Always thought I ate relatively healthy. Nope. Too many (lower nutrition) carbs and not enough protein. Not saying keto level of rigidity. Just prioritizing protein at meals.

And then just make sure she's moving each day. Take walks together after dinner. Tell her you are doing it for you..but would love the company if she's up for it. Also a great time to just chat about life.

My lean boys are trying to gain weight and eat more protein. I’m not sure this is the answer.

Make sure your boys know they should be eating protein to help build *muscle*, but they need to be in a caloric surplus in order to do so, and for that they need to be eating lots and lots of carbs.

Protein is the most satiating macro.

They eat a ton but they are athletes and burn a lot of calories. They eat a lot of everything.

That’s all well and good, but your previous response (“I’m not sure [protein] is the answer [for losing weight]”) must have been deliberately disingenuous.

Your boys aren’t eating *protein* to gain weight. They are eating “a ton” to gain weight.

You're being disingenious. Bc when people say that their teen boys are trying to put on weight, they don't just mean a higher number on the scale; those boys are trying to put on muscle mass.

So yes, those boys are eating a ton of protein. My 14yo hits the weights hard. He's 5'9 and about 160-165 lbs (still very lean) and he consumes over 200 grams of protein a day. As he gets up to 185-200 lbs, we'll increase his protein to closer to 225 grams.

But nobody just wants to put on "weight" They want a clean bulk. and the teenagers that are smart about it are consuming a TON of protein

You think about your sons’ bodies too much.

I’m not that pp but pp who said my sons are trying to gain weight. They are 135 and 125 pounds. They are very lean and trying to gain muscle. I was not being disingenuous. I was simply saying that focusing on eating protein is not the best way to lose weight.

It’s also not the best way to gain weight. You claim to understand this point, but you clearly don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obesity is a major problem in this country. It would be solved if people didn’t eat constantly and snack all day long. Instead have one or two healthy meals a day and have light, healthy snacks if you get hungry.

Yes, OP should just tell her 14 year old child that she is a pathetic failure if she feels the need to eat more than once a day. That won't be harmful to her at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not read the entire thread but back in the 70's, 80's and 90's all kids in public schools were normal weights. Even kids in poorer areas of Maryland were normal weight. In my classes we probably had 1 student who might have been 10 or 15 pounds heavier but there was not the morbid obesity of today.

Students and families maintained their weight by eating 3 healthy meals a day. We did not have snacks between meals.

Girls did sports but not at the level of today.

I was born in the mid 80s. This was not my experience going to diverse, inner city schools in the south. There were a lot of overweight kids even back then. But of course it’s way worse now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Protein.

I have been overweight my entire life. Finally losing. Always thought I ate relatively healthy. Nope. Too many (lower nutrition) carbs and not enough protein. Not saying keto level of rigidity. Just prioritizing protein at meals.

And then just make sure she's moving each day. Take walks together after dinner. Tell her you are doing it for you..but would love the company if she's up for it. Also a great time to just chat about life.

My lean boys are trying to gain weight and eat more protein. I’m not sure this is the answer.

Make sure your boys know they should be eating protein to help build *muscle*, but they need to be in a caloric surplus in order to do so, and for that they need to be eating lots and lots of carbs.

Protein is the most satiating macro.

They eat a ton but they are athletes and burn a lot of calories. They eat a lot of everything.

That’s all well and good, but your previous response (“I’m not sure [protein] is the answer [for losing weight]”) must have been deliberately disingenuous.

Your boys aren’t eating *protein* to gain weight. They are eating “a ton” to gain weight.

You're being disingenious. Bc when people say that their teen boys are trying to put on weight, they don't just mean a higher number on the scale; those boys are trying to put on muscle mass.

So yes, those boys are eating a ton of protein. My 14yo hits the weights hard. He's 5'9 and about 160-165 lbs (still very lean) and he consumes over 200 grams of protein a day. As he gets up to 185-200 lbs, we'll increase his protein to closer to 225 grams.

But nobody just wants to put on "weight" They want a clean bulk. and the teenagers that are smart about it are consuming a TON of protein

This is an example of how different and less pressure there was around the 80s give or take a decade. Back then nobody called their children athletes. They were students who played sports after school and parents weren’t overly involved. I can’t imagine my mother needing to know my brother’s daily protein down to the gram just because he played football and lacrosse. He was typical that he was a little scrawny kid and then turned into a 6’2” muscular teen without involvement from his mom.

Maybe there are too many parents who think money can buy a perfect specimen of a kid who plays a perfect game, I don’t know. It’s too bad though. Some of these kids will never feel that they are ok the way they are.

The above poster already has the protein amounts planned out when she’s figuring he’ll gain 35 lbs? Weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not read the entire thread but back in the 70's, 80's and 90's all kids in public schools were normal weights. Even kids in poorer areas of Maryland were normal weight. In my classes we probably had 1 student who might have been 10 or 15 pounds heavier but there was not the morbid obesity of today.

Students and families maintained their weight by eating 3 healthy meals a day. We did not have snacks between meals.

Girls did sports but not at the level of today.

I was born in the mid 80s. This was not my experience going to diverse, inner city schools in the south. There were a lot of overweight kids even back then. But of course it’s way worse now.

Do you think that was diet related? Everything was fried or covered in heavy sauces, probably so good people had seconds and thirds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Protein.

I have been overweight my entire life. Finally losing. Always thought I ate relatively healthy. Nope. Too many (lower nutrition) carbs and not enough protein. Not saying keto level of rigidity. Just prioritizing protein at meals.

And then just make sure she's moving each day. Take walks together after dinner. Tell her you are doing it for you..but would love the company if she's up for it. Also a great time to just chat about life.

My lean boys are trying to gain weight and eat more protein. I’m not sure this is the answer.

Make sure your boys know they should be eating protein to help build *muscle*, but they need to be in a caloric surplus in order to do so, and for that they need to be eating lots and lots of carbs.

Protein is the most satiating macro.

They eat a ton but they are athletes and burn a lot of calories. They eat a lot of everything.

That’s all well and good, but your previous response (“I’m not sure [protein] is the answer [for losing weight]”) must have been deliberately disingenuous.

Your boys aren’t eating *protein* to gain weight. They are eating “a ton” to gain weight.

You're being disingenious. Bc when people say that their teen boys are trying to put on weight, they don't just mean a higher number on the scale; those boys are trying to put on muscle mass.

So yes, those boys are eating a ton of protein. My 14yo hits the weights hard. He's 5'9 and about 160-165 lbs (still very lean) and he consumes over 200 grams of protein a day. As he gets up to 185-200 lbs, we'll increase his protein to closer to 225 grams.

But nobody just wants to put on "weight" They want a clean bulk. and the teenagers that are smart about it are consuming a TON of protein

You think about your sons’ bodies too much.

I’m not that pp but pp who said my sons are trying to gain weight. They are 135 and 125 pounds. They are very lean and trying to gain muscle. I was not being disingenuous. I was simply saying that focusing on eating protein is not the best way to lose weight.

It’s also not the best way to gain weight. You claim to understand this point, but you clearly don’t.

Our family is thin. My boys are the ones trying to gain weight. They just eat all the time and don’t gain weight because they burn thousands of calories playing sports. They both play multiple sports.

If OP’s daughter played sports burning thousands of calories, she would also be thinner.

My daughter does dance and not AS active as my sons. She also eats a lot and is very thin. My kids all have BMIs around 20-21.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not read the entire thread but back in the 70's, 80's and 90's all kids in public schools were normal weights. Even kids in poorer areas of Maryland were normal weight. In my classes we probably had 1 student who might have been 10 or 15 pounds heavier but there was not the morbid obesity of today.

Students and families maintained their weight by eating 3 healthy meals a day. We did not have snacks between meals.

Girls did sports but not at the level of today.

I was born in the mid 80s. This was not my experience going to diverse, inner city schools in the south. There were a lot of overweight kids even back then. But of course it’s way worse now.

It is the American diet. If you go to Europe or Asia, food portions are much smaller. Even if you are not eating all junk food, the meal sizes are too large. Add on sugary beverages and all the processed junk we eat.

If your body gets used to eating less, you would be a smaller size.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Protein.

I have been overweight my entire life. Finally losing. Always thought I ate relatively healthy. Nope. Too many (lower nutrition) carbs and not enough protein. Not saying keto level of rigidity. Just prioritizing protein at meals.

And then just make sure she's moving each day. Take walks together after dinner. Tell her you are doing it for you..but would love the company if she's up for it. Also a great time to just chat about life.

My lean boys are trying to gain weight and eat more protein. I’m not sure this is the answer.

Make sure your boys know they should be eating protein to help build *muscle*, but they need to be in a caloric surplus in order to do so, and for that they need to be eating lots and lots of carbs.

Protein is the most satiating macro.

They eat a ton but they are athletes and burn a lot of calories. They eat a lot of everything.

That’s all well and good, but your previous response (“I’m not sure [protein] is the answer [for losing weight]”) must have been deliberately disingenuous.

Your boys aren’t eating *protein* to gain weight. They are eating “a ton” to gain weight.

You're being disingenious. Bc when people say that their teen boys are trying to put on weight, they don't just mean a higher number on the scale; those boys are trying to put on muscle mass.

So yes, those boys are eating a ton of protein. My 14yo hits the weights hard. He's 5'9 and about 160-165 lbs (still very lean) and he consumes over 200 grams of protein a day. As he gets up to 185-200 lbs, we'll increase his protein to closer to 225 grams.

But nobody just wants to put on "weight" They want a clean bulk. and the teenagers that are smart about it are consuming a TON of protein

This is an example of how different and less pressure there was around the 80s give or take a decade. Back then nobody called their children athletes. They were students who played sports after school and parents weren’t overly involved. I can’t imagine my mother needing to know my brother’s daily protein down to the gram just because he played football and lacrosse. He was typical that he was a little scrawny kid and then turned into a 6’2” muscular teen without involvement from his mom.

Maybe there are too many parents who think money can buy a perfect specimen of a kid who plays a perfect game, I don’t know. It’s too bad though. Some of these kids will never feel that they are ok the way they are.

The above poster already has the protein amounts planned out when she’s figuring he’ll gain 35 lbs? Weird

Meh, when my kid comes to with a goal (weigh 185-200, bench 225, squat 315, deadlift 405), I help them reach that goal. So we discuss macros and training plans, and rest/recovery, etc.

Trust me, he doesnt feel bad about the way he is. He just wants to improve. I don't see the problem.

[Anonymous]

Have her run. Sign up for a 5k. Even if she isn’t skinny, she will be more fit and healthy.

I saw this fat middle aged woman on instagram who runs 1 mile per day. She looks so happy and inspirational. If your daughter runs 1-2 miles per day, runs a few 5k, she can at minimum get out of overweight BMI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have her run. Sign up for a 5k. Even if she isn’t skinny, she will be more fit and healthy.

I saw this fat middle aged woman on instagram who runs 1 mile per day. She looks so happy and inspirational. If your daughter runs 1-2 miles per day, runs a few 5k, she can at minimum get out of overweight BMI.

Running is great and the key to my own sustained weight loss, however you might have to really ease into it with an overweight kid who’s not used to a lot of exercise. Ramp up slowly. I joined cross country in high school when I was at my peak weight and quickly developed stress fractures in my shins. It was a huge setback for me. I eventually came roaring back and have been a serious runner for many decades now, but I’ll never forget the young make x-ray tech looking me right in the eyes and saying “you’re too heavy to be a runner.”

[Anonymous]

You’re so full of shit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid does two travel sports (all her choice) and she is in great shape because of it. That is the way to get that body type.

Encourage health eating and does she want to get involved in a sport that is less popular at her school? I am thinking XC, track? Family walk around the neighborhood.

Also I worry about this school being a good fit

Teens who play in sports have all kinds of body types. You don’t get “that body type” whatever that means. Some softball players are built like Mac trucks. Some soccer players have thick legs. Genetics don’t go away because someone plays a sport. You can get in better shape and a healthy weight but your body type stays the same.

Yeah, I don't get why people keep referencing travel sports in the context of what I gather OP is talking about.

Sure, track and distance runners are going to be slim, though of course with probably huge legs/thighs...but they want to have a light frame.

However, you look at the Women's national soccer team, and you see a bunch of what you may call women that are in great shape, but not model thin. They understand the value of having a solid body type when competing for headers, boxing out other players, etc.

Same for many WNBA players. Katie Ledecky isn't waif thin.

It's fine to treat sports as a way to lead a healthy lifestyle, with no expectations it will lead to playing in college or beyond. But it is a huge disservice to the best athletes in the world who actually rarely look like what people are claiming their daughters I guess look like.