Stop commenting on my weight

[Anonymous]

I have lost about 35 lbs in the past two years. I'm not a tall woman, so it's very noticeable. However, most of it was lost because of medical reasons (thyroid, medication change, etc.) and some were lost due to not eating during a depressive episode. People are assuming I changed my eating habits, and even go as far as to say they are proud of me for eating healthy and losing weight. I know they mean to be kind. I know they think they're being complimentary. But I'm so over people commenting on my weight. My weight gain was largely out of my control in the first place (went from a size zero to a size 14), and it makes me feel self conscious. So PSA - think twice before commenting on someone's weight loss - it may be a sensitive topic for them.

[Anonymous]

I agree. I almost made a comment complimenting my doctor’s receptionist on how great she looked. Turns out she had lost weight and was wearing a wig because she had cancer. She died a few years later.

[Anonymous]

Thank you OP. One thing I’ e learned since COVID and tried to take to heart: Don’t comment on physical appearance!

[Anonymous]

I hate when people point out other people's weight loss, mine included. I never comment on people's weight.

[Anonymous]

100% agree!

[Anonymous]

I would love for people to comment on my weight.

At least they're paying attention, OP.

[Anonymous]

It is so hard to lose weight and when someone does it seems natural that congratulations are in order.

I had tp learned the hard way. I ran into a mom acquaintance who was much thinner than previously and I told her how good she looked. I happened to know her sister too and ran into her sister a few months later. Learned that she had a severe eating disorder. I was so embarrassed.

You never know what the reason is. and just like don't assume a woman with a belly is pregnant, don't assume weight loss is from a healthy reason.

[Anonymous]

I've lost about 50lbs - much because of a medical issue. So I feel where this post is coming from. I like when people say "you look good" vs specifically commenting on the weight loss.

[Anonymous]

People are going to make small talk and it's easy to a) make a compliment and b) make it about weight because that's an easy one. They aren't noticing skin and hair. A few of the more adept ones will compliment how a color really "lights up your face and brings your eyes out" but they are just bullsh!tting too.

Just be gracious and accept the compliment and change the subject. That's manners and class. Make everyone feel comfortable. They have no idea they are not doing it but you can do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are going to make small talk and it's easy to a) make a compliment and b) make it about weight because that's an easy one. They aren't noticing skin and hair. A few of the more adept ones will compliment how a color really "lights up your face and brings your eyes out" but they are just bullsh!tting too.

Just be gracious and accept the compliment and change the subject. That's manners and class. Make everyone feel comfortable. They have no idea they are not doing it but you can do it.

These are fine tips for how OP should handle these comments but the point if the thread is to actually let people who comment in weight loss when they don't know the reason know they may be saying something hurtful or just wrong. This thread is to help them with their manners. OP didn't say she struggled to be gracious when people do this. That's a separate issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have lost about 35 lbs in the past two years. I'm not a tall woman, so it's very noticeable. However, most of it was lost because of medical reasons (thyroid, medication change, etc.) and some were lost due to not eating during a depressive episode. People are assuming I changed my eating habits, and even go as far as to say they are proud of me for eating healthy and losing weight. I know they mean to be kind. I know they think they're being complimentary. But I'm so over people commenting on my weight. My weight gain was largely out of my control in the first place (went from a size zero to a size 14), and it makes me feel self conscious. So PSA - think twice before commenting on someone's weight loss - it may be a sensitive topic for them.

I agree to a point. But then we get mixed messages. A person will come on say I lost so much weight from eating right/exercising and no one commented!

So most people are just trying to have basic human interactions and yes sometimes will put their foot in their mouth. So now, I don't want to have any idle chit chat because either way you are wrong. Better to say nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lost about 35 lbs in the past two years. I'm not a tall woman, so it's very noticeable. However, most of it was lost because of medical reasons (thyroid, medication change, etc.) and some were lost due to not eating during a depressive episode. People are assuming I changed my eating habits, and even go as far as to say they are proud of me for eating healthy and losing weight. I know they mean to be kind. I know they think they're being complimentary. But I'm so over people commenting on my weight. My weight gain was largely out of my control in the first place (went from a size zero to a size 14), and it makes me feel self conscious. So PSA - think twice before commenting on someone's weight loss - it may be a sensitive topic for them.

I agree to a point. But then we get mixed messages. A person will come on say I lost so much weight from eating right/exercising and no one commented!

So most people are just trying to have basic human interactions and yes sometimes will put their foot in their mouth. So now, I don't want to have any idle chit chat because either way you are wrong. Better to say nothing.

Normal people would not say anything.

The only reason for the mixed messages is because of all the toxic masculinity out there.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I wish we would retire weight as a topic. Least of all, it's just boring. Let's all elevate our social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would love for people to comment on my weight.

At least they're paying attention, OP.

I do not want anyone paying attention to my body...large or small.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lost about 35 lbs in the past two years. I'm not a tall woman, so it's very noticeable. However, most of it was lost because of medical reasons (thyroid, medication change, etc.) and some were lost due to not eating during a depressive episode. People are assuming I changed my eating habits, and even go as far as to say they are proud of me for eating healthy and losing weight. I know they mean to be kind. I know they think they're being complimentary. But I'm so over people commenting on my weight. My weight gain was largely out of my control in the first place (went from a size zero to a size 14), and it makes me feel self conscious. So PSA - think twice before commenting on someone's weight loss - it may be a sensitive topic for them.

I agree to a point. But then we get mixed messages. A person will come on say I lost so much weight from eating right/exercising and no one commented!

So most people are just trying to have basic human interactions and yes sometimes will put their foot in their mouth. So now, I don't want to have any idle chit chat because either way you are wrong. Better to say nothing.

Normal people would not say anything.

The only reason for the mixed messages is because of all the toxic masculinity out there.

Define 'normal'. This isn't just about weight. People complain about basic idle chit chat.
Better to be quiet except with people you really know than risk offending someone.