I wish parents could be more supportive and less desperate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your kids major in something like teaching or nursing at any public instate school and send them to a cute suburb in Ohio, Pa, Minnesota, Upper New England or the mountain west once they graduate. Have them marry early to be dual income. There they’ve won the game.

heck no. I would never advise to get married early.

+1. 30 or older. Know what the heck you are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The tone on this board is so Hunger Games. Like desperately seeking tips to get into a T20 or transfer in or pay consultants to eek in or choose EC's for a 12 year old so they can be interviewed on campus 9 years later by Goldman Sachs.

It is SO SO unhealthy. Really, just raise your kids to try their best, academically and later professionally. And when they do, be acknowledge their efforts. Support the person they are becoming (vs. twist them into your vision of success).

Whatever admissions they obtain, demonstrate pride. Tell them you believe in them and know they will make good use of the opportunities before them.

Strive for a kid who is healthy, happy and fulfilled. That should be what unselfish parents, with sound values, seek.

Welcome to the DMV OP. Home of the insecure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:big part of it is due to the unfair and fukced up system

That's because you view college as the destination instead of part of the journey. There are many paths to a successful life and going to a T20 school doesn't guaranty any particular outcome.

No you are assuming too much.
You view the unfair and fuked up system is ok.
That's fine.

It’s unfair, but definitely not to you.

Again you assume too much.

Let me rephrase that: it’s very unfair to kids from SE DC or from rural West Virginia.

Does that fit you?

Don't they get bump up and advantage??

I don't get any advantage.

We are from SE, DC. And I don't mean Capitol Hill, we are east of the river. What is this bump up and advantage? I'm out of the loop.

The person mentioned SE, DC meant low income Blacks.
If you are, you get bonus points in college admissions

Oh yeah. All of those sharp elbowed kids from Anacostia.

(I mean the ones who manage to avoid getting shot by the time they reach 18.)

Hogging all of the slots at Princeton and such.

After you spent ALL of that money on consultants, test prep, and expensive club sports.

I literally overhead a kid on the DC Streetcar yesterday. He was Facetiming a family friend with pride to let them know that he had gotten accepted into Prince George's community college.

According to College Factual, that school's six year graduation rate is 9%.

You people need to get out of your bubble from time to time.

You really do.

If the community has a problem, they need to fix the community.
They need to fix the source of the problem rather than giving them free points.

Let us know when you've either finished your time machine so we can go back and make sure slavery doesn't happen, or when you've made the quality of education in places like SE Dc equal to that of Arlington and MoCo. Then let's have a talk about all those 'free points'.

I can't believe people are blaming slavery for college admissions of kids born in 2004.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The very first thing we need in our society and nation is fair and transparent system.

Then we can talk about other stuff.

What does “fair and transparent” mean to you? Let me guess, test scores because you are the parent of a high scorer.

Yes test score should be part of it.
It's the most objective and fair measure.

And what else? How would you design it?

40% GPA(including rigor, etc. + 40% Tests + 20% extra stuff essay, awards(real ones), activity, etc.

Who decides if they are “real” awards? Who decides which ECs are worthy? No credit for being an Olympian and having good test scores and grades? Is that worthy? Or just Science Olympiad?

It's a college not a sports venue. I would go with science.

That shows your linear, in the box thinking. Sports are at colleges because of the ideal of a sound mind and sound body. Exercise improves brain function, not to mention the perseverance and hard work to excel at school and in athletics. And the team work experience. Good thing AOs have more mental flexibility.

No one said not to exercise. Just focus on top academics in academic settings

Nothing wrong with sports but organized sports have nothing to do with pursuit of high level education. No where else engages in that.

[Anonymous]

I went to Northwestern. My husband went to Illinois Inst of Technology. Ive been a SAHM for 10 years with part time stints as a CNA, call center CSR and catering server. I repeat, I went to Northwestern 😂😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean don't all parents want the best for their kids ? How is not helping and wanting them to get to best college that they can get to is looked down upon. Agreed, out of the many definitions of best college, is up to the kids and parents to decide.

It's a balancing act, you push too much you become a Tiger mom, push too little and you risk kids not getting to their potential (or their idea of how much money they need to make to get to a comfortable life).

+1 Even my 17 yr old recently told me that they wished I pushed them more. I did a big eye roll and said if I had done that you would've thrown a fit and hated me. Then DC said, you should've just ignored me and made me do it. Please. You can't win. Parenting is all about a balancing act.

Haha! My kids told me the same about sports. My 19yo was like "I just realized I could have made a great college qb. Why didn't you make me stay in football?" I wanted to tackle him right then and there. He hated the summer practices and insisted on quitting.

You can tell them there's no stopping them now and they can be super disciplined and that you're happy to force them to do whatever goal they want. Then you can see if they really regret it. But the reality is after the fact we all wish somehow we would have gotten skills without doing the work. I wish my past self had forced myself to exercise instead of sitting on my butt all winter long, but that's not really making my present self to work out now either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean don't all parents want the best for their kids ? How is not helping and wanting them to get to best college that they can get to is looked down upon. Agreed, out of the many definitions of best college, is up to the kids and parents to decide.

It's a balancing act, you push too much you become a Tiger mom, push too little and you risk kids not getting to their potential (or their idea of how much money they need to make to get to a comfortable life).

+1 Even my 17 yr old recently told me that they wished I pushed them more. I did a big eye roll and said if I had done that you would've thrown a fit and hated me. Then DC said, you should've just ignored me and made me do it. Please. You can't win. Parenting is all about a balancing act.

Haha! My kids told me the same about sports. My 19yo was like "I just realized I could have made a great college qb. Why didn't you make me stay in football?" I wanted to tackle him right then and there. He hated the summer practices and insisted on quitting.

DP, Another story.. we were talking about college acceptances. My kids friend's older brother got into MIT for CS. I took the opportunity to tell my Asian kid interested in CS how hard it is to get to MIT and it is such a lottery. When the time comes, consider not even applying for it, if you are not in the top 2% of the class. He is a freshman right now. He goes like, wow mom you don't believe in me.. you don't think that I have a shot..

Kids come in all shapes and sizes. My younger one in middle school doesn't even want to go into CS because he thinks it's too competitive even though he definitely has a knack for math and CS. You bet, I parent my kids differently, there is no one size that fits all. Sometimes being a supportive parent is to let them apply to MIT (or Top 20) so they don't live with regrets vs. encouraging them to set their sights lower. When the time comes we will make sure that kid has some likelies in college list, but I have a feeling that it will also be filled up MIT, CMU and Stanford.

Um yea.. My very high stats kid at a magnet major is CS, and rejected at those colleges you listed because the stats matched some website DC looked at.. I don't know which one it was.

I told DC to apply to a few lower tiered colleges but nope, wouldn't listen to me. Oh well. Got into UMD honors, so not too bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Northwestern. My husband went to Illinois Inst of Technology. Ive been a SAHM for 10 years with part time stints as a CNA, call center CSR and catering server. I repeat, I went to Northwestern 😂😂

I did as well. Double majored. Went to grad School at another T20, but actually T3 in my field.

Been a SAHM for over 20 years. Dabbled in Part time work in my 2nd field for 10-15 hr/week for a few years just because

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Northwestern. My husband went to Illinois Inst of Technology. Ive been a SAHM for 10 years with part time stints as a CNA, call center CSR and catering server. I repeat, I went to Northwestern 😂😂

Sure, communications major or similar.
No surprise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The tone on this board is so Hunger Games. Like desperately seeking tips to get into a T20 or transfer in or pay consultants to eek in or choose EC's for a 12 year old so they can be interviewed on campus 9 years later by Goldman Sachs.

It is SO SO unhealthy. Really, just raise your kids to try their best, academically and later professionally. And when they do, be acknowledge their efforts. Support the person they are becoming (vs. twist them into your vision of success).

Whatever admissions they obtain, demonstrate pride. Tell them you believe in them and know they will make good use of the opportunities before them.

Strive for a kid who is healthy, happy and fulfilled. That should be what unselfish parents, with sound values, seek.

You parent your kid and I will parent mine...your help is not needed. Have a great weekend.

Enjoy paying for your adult kid's therapy, if they have not already needed it.

LOL...sure thing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:big part of it is due to the unfair and fukced up system

That's because you view college as the destination instead of part of the journey. There are many paths to a successful life and going to a T20 school doesn't guaranty any particular outcome.

No you are assuming too much.
You view the unfair and fuked up system is ok.
That's fine.

It’s unfair, but definitely not to you.

Again you assume too much.

Let me rephrase that: it’s very unfair to kids from SE DC or from rural West Virginia.

Does that fit you?

Don't they get bump up and advantage??

I don't get any advantage.

We are from SE, DC. And I don't mean Capitol Hill, we are east of the river. What is this bump up and advantage? I'm out of the loop.

The person mentioned SE, DC meant low income Blacks.
If you are, you get bonus points in college admissions

Oh yeah. All of those sharp elbowed kids from Anacostia.

(I mean the ones who manage to avoid getting shot by the time they reach 18.)

Hogging all of the slots at Princeton and such.

After you spent ALL of that money on consultants, test prep, and expensive club sports.

I literally overhead a kid on the DC Streetcar yesterday. He was Facetiming a family friend with pride to let them know that he had gotten accepted into Prince George's community college.

According to College Factual, that school's six year graduation rate is 9%.

You people need to get out of your bubble from time to time.

You really do.

If the community has a problem, they need to fix the community.
They need to fix the source of the problem rather than giving them free points.

Let us know when you've either finished your time machine so we can go back and make sure slavery doesn't happen, or when you've made the quality of education in places like SE Dc equal to that of Arlington and MoCo. Then let's have a talk about all those 'free points'.

I can't believe people are blaming slavery for college admissions of kids born in 2004.

I can't believe anyone would think the effects of 250 years of slavery followed by another 100 years of Jim Crow could all be erased in 50 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Northwestern. My husband went to Illinois Inst of Technology. Ive been a SAHM for 10 years with part time stints as a CNA, call center CSR and catering server. I repeat, I went to Northwestern 😂😂

What does DH make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:big part of it is due to the unfair and fukced up system

That's because you view college as the destination instead of part of the journey. There are many paths to a successful life and going to a T20 school doesn't guaranty any particular outcome.

No you are assuming too much.
You view the unfair and fuked up system is ok.
That's fine.

It’s unfair, but definitely not to you.

Again you assume too much.

Let me rephrase that: it’s very unfair to kids from SE DC or from rural West Virginia.

Does that fit you?

Don't they get bump up and advantage??

I don't get any advantage.

We are from SE, DC. And I don't mean Capitol Hill, we are east of the river. What is this bump up and advantage? I'm out of the loop.

The person mentioned SE, DC meant low income Blacks.
If you are, you get bonus points in college admissions

Oh yeah. All of those sharp elbowed kids from Anacostia.

(I mean the ones who manage to avoid getting shot by the time they reach 18.)

Hogging all of the slots at Princeton and such.

After you spent ALL of that money on consultants, test prep, and expensive club sports.

I literally overhead a kid on the DC Streetcar yesterday. He was Facetiming a family friend with pride to let them know that he had gotten accepted into Prince George's community college.

According to College Factual, that school's six year graduation rate is 9%.

You people need to get out of your bubble from time to time.

You really do.

If the community has a problem, they need to fix the community.
They need to fix the source of the problem rather than giving them free points.

Let us know when you've either finished your time machine so we can go back and make sure slavery doesn't happen, or when you've made the quality of education in places like SE Dc equal to that of Arlington and MoCo. Then let's have a talk about all those 'free points'.

I can't believe people are blaming slavery for college admissions of kids born in 2004.

I can't believe anyone would think the effects of 250 years of slavery followed by another 100 years of Jim Crow could all be erased in 50 years.

Everything was pretty much erased after WW1 and WW2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The truly secure people I know don’t worry about this nonsense

They send their kids to Clemson, Arkansas, GWU, LSU, SMU, Alabama or Pepperdine where they focus on getting into the best frat or srat. Their kids run circles around yours.

Lol the thought of a Clemson kid running circles around an Ivy kid. The people that are secure in the decisions you name PP are those that KNOW their kids are 3rd tier in the intelligence department. They’re not even the race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nastiness and competitiveness is a by-product of living in one of the most stressful, aggressive cities in the USA. My DH look forward to putting our senior in a less stressful and obnoxious area. We are leaving too

Nightmare here

We left when ours went to college. It’s honestly refreshing to be in a place where everyone is genuinely just living their life and happy. The striving culture is exhausting and stressful