I wish parents could be more supportive and less desperate

[Anonymous]

The tone on this board is so Hunger Games. Like desperately seeking tips to get into a T20 or transfer in or pay consultants to eek in or choose EC's for a 12 year old so they can be interviewed on campus 9 years later by Goldman Sachs.

It is SO SO unhealthy. Really, just raise your kids to try their best, academically and later professionally. And when they do, be acknowledge their efforts. Support the person they are becoming (vs. twist them into your vision of success).

Whatever admissions they obtain, demonstrate pride. Tell them you believe in them and know they will make good use of the opportunities before them.

Strive for a kid who is healthy, happy and fulfilled. That should be what unselfish parents, with sound values, seek.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The tone on this board is so Hunger Games. Like desperately seeking tips to get into a T20 or transfer in or pay consultants to eek in or choose EC's for a 12 year old so they can be interviewed on campus 9 years later by Goldman Sachs.

It is SO SO unhealthy. Really, just raise your kids to try their best, academically and later professionally. And when they do, be acknowledge their efforts. Support the person they are becoming (vs. twist them into your vision of success).

Whatever admissions they obtain, demonstrate pride. Tell them you believe in them and know they will make good use of the opportunities before them.

Strive for a kid who is healthy, happy and fulfilled. That should be what unselfish parents, with sound values, seek.

+100 People need to understand you can get a good education at a lot of place and the most important thing is to find the college that can fit that student not try to create a student to fit your preconceived idea of what is the right college to go to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The tone on this board is so Hunger Games. Like desperately seeking tips to get into a T20 or transfer in or pay consultants to eek in or choose EC's for a 12 year old so they can be interviewed on campus 9 years later by Goldman Sachs.

It is SO SO unhealthy. Really, just raise your kids to try their best, academically and later professionally. And when they do, be acknowledge their efforts. Support the person they are becoming (vs. twist them into your vision of success).

Whatever admissions they obtain, demonstrate pride. Tell them you believe in them and know they will make good use of the opportunities before them.

Strive for a kid who is healthy, happy and fulfilled. That should be what unselfish parents, with sound values, seek.

+1 Well put.

[Anonymous]

big part of it is due to the unfair and fukced up system

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:big part of it is due to the unfair and fukced up system

You’re on the good side of this system, trust me.

[Anonymous]

I wish the same.

I also wish I was a little bit taller

I wish I was a baller

I wish I had a girl who looked good

So I could call her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:big part of it is due to the unfair and fukced up system

That's because you view college as the destination instead of part of the journey. There are many paths to a successful life and going to a T20 school doesn't guaranty any particular outcome.

[Anonymous]

You seem very sure that you're doing it much better than everyone else, OP.

I don't know anyone in my circle how does what you claim we all do.

Perhaps you could stretch to understand that we are all complex creatures who can be rational and tolerant most of the time, but who occasionally need to vent our disappointments and resentments on an anonymous online forum. This is why this forum gets heated.

But you know better, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:big part of it is due to the unfair and fukced up system

No, it is you not adjusting in a healthy manner to the current reality, and helping your daughter or son do the same.

Keep what ultimately matters in perspective (Hint: it is not the USNWR ranking of your child's college).

[Anonymous]

Don't hate the players hate the game. Hate the circus but love the clowns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:big part of it is due to the unfair and fukced up system

You’re on the good side of this system, trust me.

+1

If you approach college admissions like OP described, you will be fine. There are literally hundreds of good colleges out there. Find the ones that will work for your kid and let them get an education. Your kid will do well without that Harvard degree, majority of people don't have one and do well.

[Anonymous]

I wish parents were less preachy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem very sure that you're doing it much better than everyone else, OP.

I don't know anyone in my circle how does what you claim we all do.

Perhaps you could stretch to understand that we are all complex creatures who can be rational and tolerant most of the time, but who occasionally need to vent our disappointments and resentments on an anonymous online forum. This is why this forum gets heated.

But you know better, of course.

Well, it rubs off on the kids. The Applying to College subreddit forum is filled with tons of disappointed and angry rants by kids who received rejections this week. They think that the only thing that matters is a T20 acceptance to make their parents proud and make all of their sleepless nights and stressful HS ECs worthwhile. Even kids who end up getting into T30s don't think it's good enough or get disappointed feedback from their parents. Sure, everyone is entitled to expressing their emotions, but in general, the mindset that OP describes is healthier for everyone, especially for the kids. My kids applied to a reasonable spread of schools and were enamored enough with their "safeties" and targets to make the process go pretty smoothly.

[Anonymous]

DCUM is anonymous- and thus it’s where people can post all the unhinged things they would never admit to friends and neighbors.

I think a lot of parents pretend to be aloof and casual like OP and they aren’t. And then the Tiger Mom types intensify their obsessive push because they are scared of the sleeper cell full pay 4th gen Ivy legacy who seems like an average Lax bro but turns out he’s a regional robotics champion or does chemistry research at Hopkins on the weekends or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:big part of it is due to the unfair and fukced up system

That's because you view college as the destination instead of part of the journey. There are many paths to a successful life and going to a T20 school doesn't guaranty any particular outcome.

I feel like this is always said disingenuously. You want other people to believe this so they aren't in your way, but don't practice what you preach.