Do you consider flirting cheating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

+1 I have a very outgoing personality and I’m very interested in people and their lives. I’m sure some people would take this as mild flirting but my husband has accepted this for many years as part of who I am.

Assuming you're heterosexual, is it "flirting" if you're very interested in other women and their lives?

In my mind, if there isn't an element of potential romantic interaction -- either intended or likely to be perceived -- then it's not flirting. So the descriptions by people where they just say it's something fun or a matter of heightened attention (that they'd engage in regardless of gender) seem to not qualify as "flirting."

I agree with this. Which means that many of the interactions people saying are flirting (and that men believe are flirting, bless their hearts) are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

People who need this validation have serious issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

People who need this validation have serious issues.

Yeah sure whatever. DP but I'm not made of stone! When the starbucks barista and I have a little unexpected flirt vibe it can make my afternoon! Means absolutely nothing except that I was noticed and it feels good to be noticed. It's not that deep lady. People do it because it feels good and is harmless. I'd never cheat on my DH in a MILLION years, he flirts with me too! But just because I'm married doesn't mean I'm dead. Would you really want to know that only one person in the entire world found you attractive? Because that sounds depressing AF to me.

But as others have said, there is a line and you know if you're crossing it. A little witty repartee and fun eye contact with the waiter is one thing, talking to some dude at a bar for an hour is another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

People who need this validation have serious issues.

I don’t know if I really believe people get all done up for big events just to look good for their spouses. People find positive attention from a person they are attracted to flattering. This doesn’t mean anyone would or should act on it but I’m not buying that people put extra effort into their appearance hoping no one but their partner will notice them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

People who need this validation have serious issues.

I don’t know if I really believe people get all done up for big events just to look good for their spouses. People find positive attention from a person they are attracted to flattering. This doesn’t mean anyone would or should act on it but I’m not buying that people put extra effort into their appearance hoping no one but their partner will notice them.

I think the standard dodge is that they dress sexy "for themselves." Which is clearly bullshit because they aren't getting all dolled up to sit around at home. They want romantic/sexual attention from members of the opposite sex. Even if they intend to stop well short of any actual penetration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

People who need this validation have serious issues.

Yeah sure whatever. DP but I'm not made of stone! When the starbucks barista and I have a little unexpected flirt vibe it can make my afternoon! Means absolutely nothing except that I was noticed and it feels good to be noticed. It's not that deep lady. People do it because it feels good and is harmless. I'd never cheat on my DH in a MILLION years, he flirts with me too! But just because I'm married doesn't mean I'm dead. Would you really want to know that only one person in the entire world found you attractive? Because that sounds depressing AF to me.

But as others have said, there is a line and you know if you're crossing it. A little witty repartee and fun eye contact with the waiter is one thing, talking to some dude at a bar for an hour is another.

+1. We’ve all got eyes, even the most loyal among us has noticed an attractive person. It’s silly to pretend otherwise

[Anonymous]

You will take my flirting from my cold, dead hands!

So much insecurity in this forum, so much unhealthy possessiveness. "My partner is MINE ALL MINE ALL THE TIME, they can never so much as look at another woman/man." Loosen up, or this grip will get very tiring for your SO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Flirting like at a bar, not with people you know.

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

People who need this validation have serious issues.

I don’t know if I really believe people get all done up for big events just to look good for their spouses. People find positive attention from a person they are attracted to flattering. This doesn’t mean anyone would or should act on it but I’m not buying that people put extra effort into their appearance hoping no one but their partner will notice them.

I think the standard dodge is that they dress sexy "for themselves." Which is clearly bullshit because they aren't getting all dolled up to sit around at home. They want romantic/sexual attention from members of the opposite sex. Even if they intend to stop well short of any actual penetration.

This^.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

People who need this validation have serious issues.

I don’t know if I really believe people get all done up for big events just to look good for their spouses. People find positive attention from a person they are attracted to flattering. This doesn’t mean anyone would or should act on it but I’m not buying that people put extra effort into their appearance hoping no one but their partner will notice them.

I think the standard dodge is that they dress sexy "for themselves." Which is clearly bullshit because they aren't getting all dolled up to sit around at home. They want romantic/sexual attention from members of the opposite sex. Even if they intend to stop well short of any actual penetration.

This^.

We get dressed up for each other and go out into a new environment for each other. We enjoy restaurants, theater, running/biking together, traveling, etc. Just because there are 5000 other people around doesn't mean I dressed for them.

BTW I still love flirting. But I reject the notion that a date night out is about anyone other than DH and I.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

People who need this validation have serious issues.

Yeah sure whatever. DP but I'm not made of stone! When the starbucks barista and I have a little unexpected flirt vibe it can make my afternoon! Means absolutely nothing except that I was noticed and it feels good to be noticed. It's not that deep lady. People do it because it feels good and is harmless. I'd never cheat on my DH in a MILLION years, he flirts with me too! But just because I'm married doesn't mean I'm dead. Would you really want to know that only one person in the entire world found you attractive? Because that sounds depressing AF to me.

But as others have said, there is a line and you know if you're crossing it. A little witty repartee and fun eye contact with the waiter is one thing, talking to some dude at a bar for an hour is another.

Good lord

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

People who need this validation have serious issues.

I don’t know if I really believe people get all done up for big events just to look good for their spouses. People find positive attention from a person they are attracted to flattering. This doesn’t mean anyone would or should act on it but I’m not buying that people put extra effort into their appearance hoping no one but their partner will notice them.

I think the standard dodge is that they dress sexy "for themselves." Which is clearly bullshit because they aren't getting all dolled up to sit around at home. They want romantic/sexual attention from members of the opposite sex. Even if they intend to stop well short of any actual penetration.

No, they are going to an event and seeking to present themselves in a manner appropriate to the event. Incels think they are doing it for attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

People who need this validation have serious issues.

This, exactly. You can tell that school is letting out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

People who need this validation have serious issues.

Yeah sure whatever. DP but I'm not made of stone! When the starbucks barista and I have a little unexpected flirt vibe it can make my afternoon! Means absolutely nothing except that I was noticed and it feels good to be noticed. It's not that deep lady. People do it because it feels good and is harmless. I'd never cheat on my DH in a MILLION years, he flirts with me too! But just because I'm married doesn't mean I'm dead. Would you really want to know that only one person in the entire world found you attractive? Because that sounds depressing AF to me.

But as others have said, there is a line and you know if you're crossing it. A little witty repartee and fun eye contact with the waiter is one thing, talking to some dude at a bar for an hour is another.

Good lord

Good God, just stop