Do you consider flirting cheating?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

People who need this validation have serious issues.

Yeah sure whatever. DP but I'm not made of stone! When the starbucks barista and I have a little unexpected flirt vibe it can make my afternoon! Means absolutely nothing except that I was noticed and it feels good to be noticed. It's not that deep lady. People do it because it feels good and is harmless. I'd never cheat on my DH in a MILLION years, he flirts with me too! But just because I'm married doesn't mean I'm dead. Would you really want to know that only one person in the entire world found you attractive? Because that sounds depressing AF to me.

But as others have said, there is a line and you know if you're crossing it. A little witty repartee and fun eye contact with the waiter is one thing, talking to some dude at a bar for an hour is another.

+1. We’ve all got eyes, even the most loyal among us has noticed an attractive person. It’s silly to pretend otherwise

What a load of crap. But thank you for admitting that you do it to get attention from attractive people. Pathetic attention seeking behavior.
Mature people can notice someone is attractive and not need to flirt with them. Or require their attention

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You're either cheating or wasting someone's time. It depends on how you flirt. If you flirt with no intention of treating the person you're flirting with more romantic interest than any other member of the general public, you're leading him on. You're using him for an emotional rush of some sort. But you're not cheating.

Exactly.

Disagree. I think lots of people enjoy friendly banter that could be interpreted as flirting on its own. No one is indicating anyone should pretend to be single or give the impression they are available to date or sleep with.

But that's what flirting nis. Flirting is how single people let other single people know they are interested and available.
It's not just banter or whatever crap you and others are trying to gaslight with.

It's why we've got threads asking how to flirt. Articles on how to be a better flirt.
Do why are you as a person in a relationship not interested in cheating engaging in behavior that's universally seen in Western society as making yourself available?

So are you saying you’ve slept with every single person you’ve ever flirted with in your entire life?

Nobody’s trying to gaslight you, but maybe you feel your spouse is? Your responses are so disproportionate. Just tell your partner to cut it out.

You are trying to gaslight.

I don't sleep with everyone I flirt with, but that's because it doesn't always reach to dating level. But if I'm flirting with you it's because I'm attracted to you would like to get to know you more in a romantic way .

But I'm single.
You aren't so why as a married person are you engaged in behavior single people engage in to attract a mate?

So you’re single and you’re offended that other people’s spouses might flirt with someone? And you consider this cheating or disrespectful to their spouses? Isn’t that between them?

Stepping out now.

I consider it wasting my time representing yourself as single because your bored ar home.

Yeah I bet a lot of pretty single women have this problem. I’ve seen it, and actually I’ve seen married women looking for a little excitement in their life getting all flustered over some completely meaningless interaction from a handsome single younger man.

It looks pretty pathetic.

I still think that some people are being over-broad in what they call flirting. But, if there is some chemistry that is above and beyond platonic, you should back off, IMO. It is disrespectful to your partner (not cheating) and you probably look sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

People who need this validation have serious issues.

Yeah sure whatever. DP but I'm not made of stone! When the starbucks barista and I have a little unexpected flirt vibe it can make my afternoon! Means absolutely nothing except that I was noticed and it feels good to be noticed. It's not that deep lady. People do it because it feels good and is harmless. I'd never cheat on my DH in a MILLION years, he flirts with me too! But just because I'm married doesn't mean I'm dead. Would you really want to know that only one person in the entire world found you attractive? Because that sounds depressing AF to me.

But as others have said, there is a line and you know if you're crossing it. A little witty repartee and fun eye contact with the waiter is one thing, talking to some dude at a bar for an hour is another.

A barista or waiter is “flirting” with you to get a larger tip. They notice you are old and needy and really want to flirt with your open wallet.

[Anonymous]

Realtors are the WORST at this, they flirt like crazy with their male clients.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I consider it disrespectful and downright angering to experience when you are the spouse that has to deal with it. I think those who engage are being disrespectful. However, I’ve noticed DCUM doesn’t care in general with flirtation. Me, It’s not cheating but it’s inappropriate. Yes, you are married and not dead but you are married to 1 woman and need to focus your attention on her and making her feel comfortable. But this is just my humble opinion.

Yeah no. I'm a woman and I will mildly flirt with someone. If my husband wants to do the same, it's fine by me. With boundaries and trust, there's nothing inappropriate about it.

What is the purpose of flirting, especially if you are married?

A little buzz of excitement and chemistry. It’s like if you are all dressed up at an event and you notice a handsome man subtly checking you out. It’s flattering and a little exciting. You would never want it to go anywhere and the man sees you are there with your husband so he’s not going to try anything (unless he’s a creep) but it still feels good.

I get this scenario. It's nice to be noticed but it ends there with a look. But for those are are actively engaging in/seeking out flirtatious conversation or exchanges, how would that benefit you or your marriage?