Do you consider flirting cheating?

[Anonymous]

I think we need to define what we're talking about here.

[Anonymous]

When I threw my childhood friend's bachelorette party I had to climb on a table to find an errant bridesmaid, and some hot guy helped me down and asked me if I was single. I said, "No, I have a husband AND a baby!" He said, "Oh too bad, because I'm really attracted to you." I smiled and left it at that.

There was no harm in this interaction. I didn't attempt to lead anyone on. I enjoyed the compliment, and told my spouse about it. He'd better realize he has a hot wife, hehe.

But if someone is engaging in sustained flirting with no "sorry, I'm married" caveats, then I find that problematic. I don't know if it's cheating, but it indicates a bunch of problems like poor self-esteem, poor boundaries, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I threw my childhood friend's bachelorette party I had to climb on a table to find an errant bridesmaid, and some hot guy helped me down and asked me if I was single. I said, "No, I have a husband AND a baby!" He said, "Oh too bad, because I'm really attracted to you." I smiled and left it at that.

There was no harm in this interaction. I didn't attempt to lead anyone on. I enjoyed the compliment, and told my spouse about it. He'd better realize he has a hot wife, hehe.

But if someone is engaging in sustained flirting with no "sorry, I'm married" caveats, then I find that problematic. I don't know if it's cheating, but it indicates a bunch of problems like poor self-esteem, poor boundaries, etc.

You weren't flirting so this anecdote is irrelevant

[Anonymous]

YES

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheating---no.

Disrespectful---yes.

Yup

This. And I'll also add selfish to give someone else the impression your available just for your own ego boost

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious flirting would be disrespectful but DEFINITELY not cheating! Light flirting wouldn’t really bother me… probably because I feel very secure in my marriage.

This. Big difference between dancing with someone in a club and banter with a lot of innuendo vs enjoying friendly conversation with a vibe but appropriate boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the audience. You don't want your spouse flirting with your friends, but with some random person at a bar, I wouldn't care.

[Anonymous]

Cheating -- no.
Disrespectful -- depends. Are we talking light banter, where everyone knows that you're married and it's not serious? Or are you really hitting on someone/being hit on/talking serious innuendo? Is it super-obvious and right in front of your spouse? There is a huge range of "flirting," and some of it's fine and some of it's disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

Dating a guy who is outgoing and gregarious and flirty. Two interactions lately:

He is from another country. We pull into a parking garage we reserved online and the attendant asks him for his number. He laughs and replies, "Oh! You want my number?" a couple times and I laughed. The woman said, "As long as she is laughing...." Then I said, jokingly "Let her do her job and quit harassing her.." He said, "She's one of my people! Are you from xxxxxx?" I wasn't offended by this.

In another case, we were going into a club and a gorgeous woman was let in w/out an ID check and he said, "Oh! I am with her!*" This one didn't sit right with me.

*That is how I actually met another guy I dated; he pretended he was in line with me to get in faster So maybe that is why it bothered me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dating a guy who is outgoing and gregarious and flirty. Two interactions lately:

He is from another country. We pull into a parking garage we reserved online and the attendant asks him for his number. He laughs and replies, "Oh! You want my number?" a couple times and I laughed. The woman said, "As long as she is laughing...." Then I said, jokingly "Let her do her job and quit harassing her.." He said, "She's one of my people! Are you from xxxxxx?" I wasn't offended by this.

In another case, we were going into a club and a gorgeous woman was let in w/out an ID check and he said, "Oh! I am with her!*" This one didn't sit right with me.

*That is how I actually met another guy I dated; he pretended he was in line with me to get in faster So maybe that is why it bothered me.

Are you the OP? In your second example, I don't understand -- was he gonna leave you outside in line??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dating a guy who is outgoing and gregarious and flirty. Two interactions lately:

He is from another country. We pull into a parking garage we reserved online and the attendant asks him for his number. He laughs and replies, "Oh! You want my number?" a couple times and I laughed. The woman said, "As long as she is laughing...." Then I said, jokingly "Let her do her job and quit harassing her.." He said, "She's one of my people! Are you from xxxxxx?" I wasn't offended by this.

In another case, we were going into a club and a gorgeous woman was let in w/out an ID check and he said, "Oh! I am with her!*" This one didn't sit right with me.

*That is how I actually met another guy I dated; he pretended he was in line with me to get in faster So maybe that is why it bothered me.

He sounds like a pain in the butt.

The kind with a wandering eye who is going to think about cheating when the going gets rough. Just spare yourself the hassle and find someone a little less attention seeking.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s cheating. Just from my experience with the men I’ve dated, flirting in person leads to flirting via text. Which then escalates quickly because it’s available 24/7 and people tend to push boundaries more when texting.

I saw this happen with a couple of my boyfriends when I was younger. So I don’t flirt, and I’d be very angry with H if he did. He’s pretty introverted, and we flirt a ton with each other, so I’d be surprised if he did.

[Anonymous]

Hahahaha

No

[Anonymous]

I think flirting is nice and fun, but with the knowledge it’s just flirting. If someone is flirting with the idea it will lead somewhere….then that is a different story.

[Anonymous]

I think the concept of flirting is too subjective to call it cheating or disrespectful. I smile a lot. I’ve literally been told I was flirting with someone because I smiled. We didn’t even speak, and I smiled at everyone. If it’s smiling and banter, who cares? It’s not the 19th century. But then again I’ve been known to show my ankles, so I guess I’m a fast woman. Touching, dirty jokes with too much innuendo… that’s probably where the line is for us. Making out definitely crosses a line and is way too flirty.