Do you consider flirting cheating?

[Anonymous]

Theres a difference between being friendly and flirting. It’s the intention behind it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, not in the way I define flirting. I wouldnt and wouldn’t want DH hitting on people though. Smiling, laughing, having fun a group but not sliding up to women and chatting them up for their number (not flirting)

So, I'm a guy and I smile and laugh with other men. Am I flirting with them? I don't think so. Are smiling, laughing, joking heterosexual women flirting when they do that with other women?

I don't think so. And I think the reason is that "flirting" has a sexual component to it. Which means that, if it's actually flirting -- something not done by a heterosexual person with someone of the same sex -- then it's probably cheating; or close enough to cheating that you shouldn't do it unless your spouse has consented.

I am finally loving DCUM, you all are showing up finally to support that flirtatious behavior is wrong. Again, if you want to flirt, don’t get married and have children. Flirt all day long with women or men strangers to your heart’s content. Just don’t hurt us loyal and committed people. Thank you, I finally feel somewhat vindicated in my experiences and beliefs.

[Anonymous]

Flirting can not be defined

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Flirting can not be defined

+1 it’s a vibe

[Anonymous]

No I do not think it is cheating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're either cheating or wasting someone's time. It depends on how you flirt. If you flirt with no intention of treating the person you're flirting with more romantic interest than any other member of the general public, you're leading him on. You're using him for an emotional rush of some sort. But you're not cheating.

Exactly.

Disagree. I think lots of people enjoy friendly banter that could be interpreted as flirting on its own. No one is indicating anyone should pretend to be single or give the impression they are available to date or sleep with.

But that's what flirting nis. Flirting is how single people let other single people know they are interested and available.
It's not just banter or whatever crap you and others are trying to gaslight with.

It's why we've got threads asking how to flirt. Articles on how to be a better flirt.
Do why are you as a person in a relationship not interested in cheating engaging in behavior that's universally seen in Western society as making yourself available?

So are you saying you’ve slept with every single person you’ve ever flirted with in your entire life?

Nobody’s trying to gaslight you, but maybe you feel your spouse is? Your responses are so disproportionate. Just tell your partner to cut it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're either cheating or wasting someone's time. It depends on how you flirt. If you flirt with no intention of treating the person you're flirting with more romantic interest than any other member of the general public, you're leading him on. You're using him for an emotional rush of some sort. But you're not cheating.

Exactly.

Disagree. I think lots of people enjoy friendly banter that could be interpreted as flirting on its own. No one is indicating anyone should pretend to be single or give the impression they are available to date or sleep with.

But that's what flirting nis. Flirting is how single people let other single people know they are interested and available.
It's not just banter or whatever crap you and others are trying to gaslight with.

It's why we've got threads asking how to flirt. Articles on how to be a better flirt.
Do why are you as a person in a relationship not interested in cheating engaging in behavior that's universally seen in Western society as making yourself available?

So are you saying you’ve slept with every single person you’ve ever flirted with in your entire life?

Nobody’s trying to gaslight you, but maybe you feel your spouse is? Your responses are so disproportionate. Just tell your partner to cut it out.

You are trying to gaslight.

I don't sleep with everyone I flirt with, but that's because it doesn't always reach to dating level. But if I'm flirting with you it's because I'm attracted to you would like to get to know you more in a romantic way .

But I'm single.
You aren't so why as a married person are you engaged in behavior single people engage in to attract a mate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're either cheating or wasting someone's time. It depends on how you flirt. If you flirt with no intention of treating the person you're flirting with more romantic interest than any other member of the general public, you're leading him on. You're using him for an emotional rush of some sort. But you're not cheating.

This assumes the person you are “flirting” with doesn’t know you are married and is under the impression this will turn into a romantic or sexual situation. IMO people often flirt (as defined by smiling, laughing, trying to be charming/funny and general banter) with others they know and who know they are married and not interested in anything.

A big part of this is that I think flirting is defined very differently by different people. For me, harmless flirting would include banter and maybe a vibe of some sort but it’s not really one of those things that is concrete and measurable. I don’t think most people would be aggressively flirting to the point of sexual innuendos or giving out their number. To me, this would not be flirting it would be actively pursuing.

It also assumes the other person isn’t in the exact same situation - married or in a relationship with no intention of cheating or pursuing anything. And yes, there’s a huge difference between flirting as you and I define it and actually pursuing someone.

But why flirt,? You know it's not going anywhere. So why do it? What's the point?

Still waiting on an explanation

To get something like the buzz of romantic or sexual interaction while keeping it plausibly deniable and not having to put out.

So selfish attention seeking behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're either cheating or wasting someone's time. It depends on how you flirt. If you flirt with no intention of treating the person you're flirting with more romantic interest than any other member of the general public, you're leading him on. You're using him for an emotional rush of some sort. But you're not cheating.

This assumes the person you are “flirting” with doesn’t know you are married and is under the impression this will turn into a romantic or sexual situation. IMO people often flirt (as defined by smiling, laughing, trying to be charming/funny and general banter) with others they know and who know they are married and not interested in anything.

A big part of this is that I think flirting is defined very differently by different people. For me, harmless flirting would include banter and maybe a vibe of some sort but it’s not really one of those things that is concrete and measurable. I don’t think most people would be aggressively flirting to the point of sexual innuendos or giving out their number. To me, this would not be flirting it would be actively pursuing.

It also assumes the other person isn’t in the exact same situation - married or in a relationship with no intention of cheating or pursuing anything. And yes, there’s a huge difference between flirting as you and I define it and actually pursuing someone.

But why flirt,? You know it's not going anywhere. So why do it? What's the point?

Still waiting on an explanation

NP because it’s fun and harmless as long as both parties are comfortable with a flirt just being a flirt. People like feeling noticed and appreciated by the opposite sex, even when they have no intention of things progressing. It’s flattering and should be fun and taken lightly. Really, flirting is just talking and laughing and should be innocent but there is a feeling, you know when you know, that makes it feel flirtatious.

Again attention seeking and selfish behavior and leading someone on because you're a bored spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, not in the way I define flirting. I wouldnt and wouldn’t want DH hitting on people though. Smiling, laughing, having fun a group but not sliding up to women and chatting them up for their number (not flirting)

So, I'm a guy and I smile and laugh with other men. Am I flirting with them? I don't think so. Are smiling, laughing, joking heterosexual women flirting when they do that with other women?

I don't think so. And I think the reason is that "flirting" has a sexual component to it. Which means that, if it's actually flirting -- something not done by a heterosexual person with someone of the same sex -- then it's probably cheating; or close enough to cheating that you shouldn't do it unless your spouse has consented.

I am finally loving DCUM, you all are showing up finally to support that flirtatious behavior is wrong. Again, if you want to flirt, don’t get married and have children. Flirt all day long with women or men strangers to your heart’s content. Just don’t hurt us loyal and committed people. Thank you, I finally feel somewhat vindicated in my experiences and beliefs.

They know it's wrong but they will gaslight and twists themselves into pretzels to make it be okay for them to pretend to be available and be sexually playful with someone who is not their spouse

[Anonymous]

This thread is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're either cheating or wasting someone's time. It depends on how you flirt. If you flirt with no intention of treating the person you're flirting with more romantic interest than any other member of the general public, you're leading him on. You're using him for an emotional rush of some sort. But you're not cheating.

Exactly.

Disagree. I think lots of people enjoy friendly banter that could be interpreted as flirting on its own. No one is indicating anyone should pretend to be single or give the impression they are available to date or sleep with.

But that's what flirting nis. Flirting is how single people let other single people know they are interested and available.
It's not just banter or whatever crap you and others are trying to gaslight with.

It's why we've got threads asking how to flirt. Articles on how to be a better flirt.
Do why are you as a person in a relationship not interested in cheating engaging in behavior that's universally seen in Western society as making yourself available?

So are you saying you’ve slept with every single person you’ve ever flirted with in your entire life?

Nobody’s trying to gaslight you, but maybe you feel your spouse is? Your responses are so disproportionate. Just tell your partner to cut it out.

You are trying to gaslight.

I don't sleep with everyone I flirt with, but that's because it doesn't always reach to dating level. But if I'm flirting with you it's because I'm attracted to you would like to get to know you more in a romantic way .

But I'm single.
You aren't so why as a married person are you engaged in behavior single people engage in to attract a mate?

So you’re single and you’re offended that other people’s spouses might flirt with someone? And you consider this cheating or disrespectful to their spouses? Isn’t that between them?

Stepping out now.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how far this "flirting" goes.

[Anonymous]

ok for women, not for men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're either cheating or wasting someone's time. It depends on how you flirt. If you flirt with no intention of treating the person you're flirting with more romantic interest than any other member of the general public, you're leading him on. You're using him for an emotional rush of some sort. But you're not cheating.

Exactly.

Disagree. I think lots of people enjoy friendly banter that could be interpreted as flirting on its own. No one is indicating anyone should pretend to be single or give the impression they are available to date or sleep with.

But that's what flirting nis. Flirting is how single people let other single people know they are interested and available.
It's not just banter or whatever crap you and others are trying to gaslight with.

It's why we've got threads asking how to flirt. Articles on how to be a better flirt.
Do why are you as a person in a relationship not interested in cheating engaging in behavior that's universally seen in Western society as making yourself available?

Okay *you* think flirting is more banter. I agree. But my husband still tells me that my interactions could be easily interpreted as flirtatious, so I’m not gaslighting here, Im saying that people shouldn’t expect me to stop “bantering” or laughing at somebody’s jokes because somebody might think I’m showing interest in them. (And by the way I don’t think I’ve ever actually been hit on as a result of flirting so I am obviously not sending out signals I’m available).

But I feel like this is going deeper with you, either because you’re single and frustrated about that or married to somebody who doesn’t make you feel secure in your relationship. Or you just have strong feelings about people talking to each other.