Wife doesn’t care for looking good, dressing well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember taking a very high level job at a company where the CEO, soon to be terminated, only hired beautiful young women for support positions. My wife showed up one day with our young kids to see where Dad worked…dressed in mom gear….and she said that’s the last time she was going any where near our offices in mom gear. She really upped her game after that and she definitely had the underpinnings to make it happen. Many years later she still likes to look good.

So the takeaway is: put your wife in embarrassing situations and shame her into looking nicer! Brilliant.

No, it was a surprise visit and I had told her about the CEO’s hiring strategy. You’re making a bigger deal out of this than she did. I’m sure she looks better in shorts and a tee shirt than you do glammed up.

No one gives two shits what you and your surrendered wife think or do. Get back to work, you soulless corporate hack.

[Anonymous]

Exercise clothing is only for the gym. Jeans are for teens. I only wear makeup and heels at home.

[Anonymous]

Lumps and bumps poster, speak for yourself. Not all of us have kids and give up.

[Anonymous]

And people wonder why I make the effort to dress nicely and put on makeup just for Zoom or staying in. Smdh at this thread.

[Anonymous]

I don't spend a lot of time trying to look good because right now 99% of the time I'm in casual clothes. People who go out looking like they just got out of bed is a turn off. You can hate me for this but I do enjoy getting compliments from my husband. I don't dress nicely for him, it's for me, but a compliment is a nice by product.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me so excited to wear my workout clothes around today. I would anyway because I’m so much more likely to do my daily workout if I don’t have to change but I love that it riles up so many uptight people.

Also my husband compliments my body more when I’m wearing that than anything else, so I only look dumpy to people who insist on wearing classy hairdos and jeans to the playground.

Probably because workout clothes are all you wear all the time anyway? Don't confuse correlation with causation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And people wonder why I make the effort to dress nicely and put on makeup just for Zoom or staying in. Smdh at this thread.

They probably don’t wonder. Or wonder why you’re bothering because they don’t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me so excited to wear my workout clothes around today. I would anyway because I’m so much more likely to do my daily workout if I don’t have to change but I love that it riles up so many uptight people.

Also my husband compliments my body more when I’m wearing that than anything else, so I only look dumpy to people who insist on wearing classy hairdos and jeans to the playground.

Probably because workout clothes are all you wear all the time anyway? Don't confuse correlation with causation.

Shy would you think that’s the reason and not that he likes now I look in workout clothes? I change after I work out. And I get complements when I wear other stuff as well, but it’s like “you look nice” not “you look hot.”

But to be clear this is not why I wear what I wear. I wear what I want, not what I think others want me to wear.

[Anonymous]

Eh. I maintain my figure, take care of my skin, blow dry my hair, keep myself clean and generally well groomed. I make sure the clothing I wear is clean and not threadbare or stained or stretched or too worn out. I’m not doing more than that to sit at my laptop at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me so excited to wear my workout clothes around today. I would anyway because I’m so much more likely to do my daily workout if I don’t have to change but I love that it riles up so many uptight people.

Also my husband compliments my body more when I’m wearing that than anything else, so I only look dumpy to people who insist on wearing classy hairdos and jeans to the playground.

Probably because workout clothes are all you wear all the time anyway? Don't confuse correlation with causation.

Shy would you think that’s the reason and not that he likes now I look in workout clothes? I change after I work out. And I get complements when I wear other stuff as well, but it’s like “you look nice” not “you look hot.”

But to be clear this is not why I wear what I wear. I wear what I want, not what I think others want me to wear.

+1 But I have a cocktail dress that I know my husband really likes and wants me out of at some point so I'm happy to wear it even if it's not the most comfortable dress I own. With Covid I haven't worn it in almost two years!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me so excited to wear my workout clothes around today. I would anyway because I’m so much more likely to do my daily workout if I don’t have to change but I love that it riles up so many uptight people.

Also my husband compliments my body more when I’m wearing that than anything else, so I only look dumpy to people who insist on wearing classy hairdos and jeans to the playground.

Probably because workout clothes are all you wear all the time anyway? Don't confuse correlation with causation.

Shy would you think that’s the reason and not that he likes now I look in workout clothes? I change after I work out. And I get complements when I wear other stuff as well, but it’s like “you look nice” not “you look hot.”

But to be clear this is not why I wear what I wear. I wear what I want, not what I think others want me to wear.

+1 But I have a cocktail dress that I know my husband really likes and wants me out of at some point so I'm happy to wear it even if it's not the most comfortable dress I own. With Covid I haven't worn it in almost two years!

PP here. Obviously I’m comfortable with casual outfits but I am sooooo nostalgic for those times I got to dress up! I love formal wear: the heels, the accessories, a great dress, all that. I can’t wait to have an reason to dress up again. Sadly I don’t think DH cares as much about that, if he did he would be more likely to be enthusiastic about parties and he would just think it was weird if I wore a gown around the house. I can’t say I blame him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Legit don’t understand women who are content to look dumpy. Even if your husband doesn’t care, isn’t the rest of your life more pleasant if other people generally find you attractive? And before any bitter frumps come accuse me of being a bimbo, I have a demanding and somewhat high-profile tech job. Which i would never show up to in sweatpants and a greasy ponytail.

Actually, no, my quality of life is unrelated to how attractive people find me. Crazy, right?

+1. I’ve never understood the obsession with caring about what others think of your appearance, be they friends, family, employers, employees, colleagues, or strangers. My happiness is intrinsic, and so far removed from following societal conventions. I’ve got enough self-pride and confidence to live my life how I want to live it, including how I choose to dress, opinion of others be damned. To each his/her own I suppose. I simply find it sad when reasons for doing one thing or another are driven by extrinsic factors that place value on one’s worth, rather than intrinsic desires. Find ya’ll worth internally people.

This is so dumb. Wanting to look nice and presentable doesn't mean a person lacks self-worth. You probably don't know what it's like to be admired for your looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Legit don’t understand women who are content to look dumpy. Even if your husband doesn’t care, isn’t the rest of your life more pleasant if other people generally find you attractive? And before any bitter frumps come accuse me of being a bimbo, I have a demanding and somewhat high-profile tech job. Which i would never show up to in sweatpants and a greasy ponytail.

Actually, no, my quality of life is unrelated to how attractive people find me. Crazy, right?

+1. I’ve never understood the obsession with caring about what others think of your appearance, be they friends, family, employers, employees, colleagues, or strangers. My happiness is intrinsic, and so far removed from following societal conventions. I’ve got enough self-pride and confidence to live my life how I want to live it, including how I choose to dress, opinion of others be damned. To each his/her own I suppose. I simply find it sad when reasons for doing one thing or another are driven by extrinsic factors that place value on one’s worth, rather than intrinsic desires. Find ya’ll worth internally people.

This is so dumb. Wanting to look nice and presentable doesn't mean a person lacks self-worth. You probably don't know what it's like to be admired for your looks.

You’re missing PP’s point (and being kinda rude while you’re at it). They didn’t say that looking nice means you don’t have self worth. Their comment was a reaction to the idea that life is better if people find you attractive. And the answer is no, and those who know this best are the ones who have periods where they get lots of attention for their looks and periods where they are basically ignored. I am one of those people and I’m my experience the quality of my life is correlated only with my internal feelings of self-worth. That’s it. My day to day life when I went around nine months pregnant in fugly maternity clothes with no makeup wasn’t better than when I was a size two dressed to perfection. You can and should have a great quality of life no matter what you look like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me so excited to wear my workout clothes around today. I would anyway because I’m so much more likely to do my daily workout if I don’t have to change but I love that it riles up so many uptight people.

Also my husband compliments my body more when I’m wearing that than anything else, so I only look dumpy to people who insist on wearing classy hairdos and jeans to the playground.

Probably because workout clothes are all you wear all the time anyway? Don't confuse correlation with causation.

Shy would you think that’s the reason and not that he likes now I look in workout clothes? I change after I work out. And I get complements when I wear other stuff as well, but it’s like “you look nice” not “you look hot.”

But to be clear this is not why I wear what I wear. I wear what I want, not what I think others want me to wear.

+1 But I have a cocktail dress that I know my husband really likes and wants me out of at some point so I'm happy to wear it even if it's not the most comfortable dress I own. With Covid I haven't worn it in almost two years!

PP here. Obviously I’m comfortable with casual outfits but I am sooooo nostalgic for those times I got to dress up! I love formal wear: the heels, the accessories, a great dress, all that. I can’t wait to have an reason to dress up again. Sadly I don’t think DH cares as much about that, if he did he would be more likely to be enthusiastic about parties and he would just think it was weird if I wore a gown around the house. I can’t say I blame him.

I love to really dress up because it jumps me from mom-mode to wife/somewhat hot GF mode! I do have a long red, silk nightgown that can have a similar effect and it always works. But I need some glamour!

[Anonymous]

I wear lightweight capris and cotton tanks/tees. I get a lot done without too much sweating that way. DH and the kids also dress similarly. I can’f imagine living with someone like OP.