Wife doesn’t care for looking good, dressing well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

Dressing for whom? You? Your version of a slob is another person’s idea of comfortable. I dress for comfort and IDGAF what random strangers think. It doesn’t mean I don’t have self respect. It means my self respect comes from inside and not meeting other’s idea of what is socially acceptable. Why do you care what other people wear? Does it hurt your eyes?

NP Yes, it does hurt my eyes. When both spouses are obese and wearing giant Nats tee shirts over cargo shorts that go below their knees….it hurts my eyes.

You are so incredibly mean and you want people to feel bad about your eyes? :

No, my eyes will recover quickly. I do feel sorry for people who put their health at risk for being so out of shape and as they get older it just gets worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

Dressing for whom? You? Your version of a slob is another person’s idea of comfortable. I dress for comfort and IDGAF what random strangers think. It doesn’t mean I don’t have self respect. It means my self respect comes from inside and not meeting other’s idea of what is socially acceptable. Why do you care what other people wear? Does it hurt your eyes?

NP Yes, it does hurt my eyes. When both spouses are obese and wearing giant Nats tee shirts over cargo shorts that go below their knees….it hurts my eyes.

You are so incredibly mean and you want people to feel bad about your eyes? :

No, my eyes will recover quickly. I do feel sorry for people who put their health at risk for being so out of shape and as they get older it just gets worse.

NP. I'm not so worried about your eyes, but it must be awful not having anyone who loves you. I'm so sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

We are a dress comfortable family. We are all thin and attractive. I wear a lot of lululemon. DH and kids wear under armor and adidas type clothing. We roll out of bed, brush our teeth and put on a t shirt and shorts.

We do have a seven figure income and country club members. It is very easy for us to put on the vineyard vines and lily Pulitzer. I also have a closet full of expensive dresses, shoes and purses.

When we go out as a family, we like to dress comfortably.

I don’t think OP was referring to you but good for you to use this opportunity to brag.

My point was to say people like to dress comfortable. It is unfair to say someone looks sloppy just because one is overweight.

OP sounds kind of like a jerk. DH finds me attractive in a tank and yoga pants or shorts and a t. I personally like my athletic look more than if I dress up in heels and a dress.

I don’t think anyone is suggesting heels and a dress. I think nice athletic shorts and top is fine with your family and perhaps on errands with clean shoes and clean hair. Not faded and stretched or too small tops and bottoms that should be tossed or used to cut the grass.

However, why is everyone so defensive about not caring what others think about the way they dress? Sounds like you do care or you would not be so angry sounding about your choice.

OP cares so obviously has impacted the relationship. I would want to know. He can tell her kindly.

I’ve been a SAH. I always showered and put on real clothes. If bought size appropriate jeans, khakis they are comfortable. Winter I would wear those with a fleece or sweater. Not expensive and comfortable. Summer is even easier. Old navy, target and the like. Cheap simple shorts with cute tees. Simple dresses galore. Shower, brush hair, put on something besides old, stretched, faded, athletic wear ( which sounds like OP meant).

For me, when I am pulled together I feel better. Being pulled together can be as simple as a pair of cotton shorts that zip and button along with a plain or patterned tee. I wash and blow dry my hair or I pull it back. I put on moisturizer, mascara, and burts bees with color. It is not full makeup, dresses, and heels.

Also, I do think a good example to my dc about being able to handle your life: take care of self, take care of home, take care of financial responsibilities, take care of work responsibilities. We all have to do these things everyday as an adult.

[Anonymous]

I dress for me but when my husband says “don’t you look pretty today!” or something like that I really enjoy the compliment. It really only takes me an extra five minutes to move from grubby to looking pretty good and the return on investment is great. Looking good and feeling good are really intertwined.