Wife doesn’t care for looking good, dressing well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Legit don’t understand women who are content to look dumpy. Even if your husband doesn’t care, isn’t the rest of your life more pleasant if other people generally find you attractive? And before any bitter frumps come accuse me of being a bimbo, I have a demanding and somewhat high-profile tech job. Which i would never show up to in sweatpants and a greasy ponytail.

Actually, no, my quality of life is unrelated to how attractive people find me. Crazy, right?

+1. I’ve never understood the obsession with caring about what others think of your appearance, be they friends, family, employers, employees, colleagues, or strangers. My happiness is intrinsic, and so far removed from following societal conventions. I’ve got enough self-pride and confidence to live my life how I want to live it, including how I choose to dress, opinion of others be damned. To each his/her own I suppose. I simply find it sad when reasons for doing one thing or another are driven by extrinsic factors that place value on one’s worth, rather than intrinsic desires. Find ya’ll worth internally people.

This is so dumb. Wanting to look nice and presentable doesn't mean a person lacks self-worth. You probably don't know what it's like to be admired for your looks.

1. I never said it meant a person lacked self-worth. What I said is that if one’s self-worth largely or entirely stems from a place of extrinsic opinions and compliments, than that, in my opinion, is sad. If someone enjoys putting in the time and effort to make themselves presentable, which will mean different things to different people under different circumstances, than so be it. And others in this thread have mentioned as much. Good on them. If someone is doing the same because they’re mortified what others may think, and are doing so daily or almost daily, then again, in my singular opinion, that’s unfortunate.

2. Personally I could care less if I’m admired for my looks or not. I don’t care if I’m admired for anything to be honest. I’m living my best life for me, and I’m happy with myself, my friends, my family, and my colleagues. Getting cat called on the street certainly doesn’t raise my happiness levels. And should a friend, family member, colleague, rando on the street, etc. compliment me on anything - outfit, hairstyle, achievements, whatever - I’m appreciative, but certainly not seeking it out.

3. People are free to dress however they wish. Hopefully this stems largely from personal desires and comfort levels rather than extrinsic opinions and value. Tis all. Like I said, to each his/her own.

[Anonymous]

Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

Dressing for whom? You? Your version of a slob is another person’s idea of comfortable. I dress for comfort and IDGAF what random strangers think. It doesn’t mean I don’t have self respect. It means my self respect comes from inside and not meeting other’s idea of what is socially acceptable. Why do you care what other people wear? Does it hurt your eyes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

Dressing for whom? You? Your version of a slob is another person’s idea of comfortable. I dress for comfort and IDGAF what random strangers think. It doesn’t mean I don’t have self respect. It means my self respect comes from inside and not meeting other’s idea of what is socially acceptable. Why do you care what other people wear? Does it hurt your eyes?

DP but you clearly DO GAF what random strangers think, otherwise you wouldn’t be responding so vehemently to PP’s post…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

+1000

And yet what “real clothes,” being “clean,” taking “care of [one’s] appearance,” and “being groomed”, mean are entirely subjective, and at the purview of the individual. So, pray do tell, why I personally should care that you care about how I dress, and what, to you, constitutes the quoted items? My self-respect is immense, and isn’t predicated by my outfit choices. I’m perfectly comfortable rolling out of bed, brushing my teeth, tossing on a hat, and walking my kids to the playground in my bra-less pajamas. I’m perfectly content rolling into work in a T-shirt, flip flops, and shorts or leggings. Sometimes braless too (I hate bras 😒; FYI it’s bench science work, so I’m not in some client facing position). I respect myself no different then when I decide to wear something that’s nicer by my standards. And I grew up and live in Brooklyn, and work in NYC. I see the compendium of how people dress around here, from “upscale” wear to the basics. I’m happy with my choices. I’m unconcerned about the opinion of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

+1000

Last time I looked, everyone was wearing real clothes. You spend a lot of time looking down your noses at people. Waste of a life, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

We are a dress comfortable family. We are all thin and attractive. I wear a lot of lululemon. DH and kids wear under armor and adidas type clothing. We roll out of bed, brush our teeth and put on a t shirt and shorts.

We do have a seven figure income and country club members. It is very easy for us to put on the vineyard vines and lily Pulitzer. I also have a closet full of expensive dresses, shoes and purses.

When we go out as a family, we like to dress comfortably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

We are a dress comfortable family. We are all thin and attractive. I wear a lot of lululemon. DH and kids wear under armor and adidas type clothing. We roll out of bed, brush our teeth and put on a t shirt and shorts.

We do have a seven figure income and country club members. It is very easy for us to put on the vineyard vines and lily Pulitzer. I also have a closet full of expensive dresses, shoes and purses.

When we go out as a family, we like to dress comfortably.

I don’t think OP was referring to you but good for you to use this opportunity to brag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

Dressing for whom? You? Your version of a slob is another person’s idea of comfortable. I dress for comfort and IDGAF what random strangers think. It doesn’t mean I don’t have self respect. It means my self respect comes from inside and not meeting other’s idea of what is socially acceptable. Why do you care what other people wear? Does it hurt your eyes?

NP Yes, it does hurt my eyes. When both spouses are obese and wearing giant Nats tee shirts over cargo shorts that go below their knees….it hurts my eyes.

[Anonymous]

By focusing on other people, pps avoid improving themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a pandemic.

And no one wants to wear jeans when it's 90+ degrees outside and 60+% humidity OP. That's how you get yeast infections.

You can wear shorts. Tights are hotter than shorts. I do not understand how yoga tights became the standard bottom.

Because people have become to fat to comfortably fit into off the rack clothing that isn’t made of spandex and has buttons

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

We are a dress comfortable family. We are all thin and attractive. I wear a lot of lululemon. DH and kids wear under armor and adidas type clothing. We roll out of bed, brush our teeth and put on a t shirt and shorts.

We do have a seven figure income and country club members. It is very easy for us to put on the vineyard vines and lily Pulitzer. I also have a closet full of expensive dresses, shoes and purses.

When we go out as a family, we like to dress comfortably.

I don’t think OP was referring to you but good for you to use this opportunity to brag.

My point was to say people like to dress comfortable. It is unfair to say someone looks sloppy just because one is overweight.

OP sounds kind of like a jerk. DH finds me attractive in a tank and yoga pants or shorts and a t. I personally like my athletic look more than if I dress up in heels and a dress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

Dressing for whom? You? Your version of a slob is another person’s idea of comfortable. I dress for comfort and IDGAF what random strangers think. It doesn’t mean I don’t have self respect. It means my self respect comes from inside and not meeting other’s idea of what is socially acceptable. Why do you care what other people wear? Does it hurt your eyes?

NP Yes, it does hurt my eyes. When both spouses are obese and wearing giant Nats tee shirts over cargo shorts that go below their knees….it hurts my eyes.

You are so incredibly mean and you want people to feel bad about your eyes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I go somewhere with large “family” crowds: zoos, amusement parks, festivals, etc. I am always shocked by people. Most are overweight and dress like total slobs. Plenty of dumpy and trashy looking thin people too though. The overall look of general population, but especially moms, is a total lack of style or caring for appearance at all. It isn’t about what “other people” think, it is about having enough self respect to put on real clothes, be clean, take care of your appearance and being groomed.

We are a dress comfortable family. We are all thin and attractive. I wear a lot of lululemon. DH and kids wear under armor and adidas type clothing. We roll out of bed, brush our teeth and put on a t shirt and shorts.

We do have a seven figure income and country club members. It is very easy for us to put on the vineyard vines and lily Pulitzer. I also have a closet full of expensive dresses, shoes and purses.

When we go out as a family, we like to dress comfortably.

I don’t think OP was referring to you but good for you to use this opportunity to brag.

Oh stop, PP wasn’t responding to OP.