Wife doesn’t care for looking good, dressing well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wasn’t put here on this earth to be decorative.

— Another DW who wants to tell you that unless you’re 24/7 dressing like Carey Grant while mopping like Alice from the Brady Bunch, you can STFU.

Thank you!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Good grief. I worked from home long before the pandemic started. One day my wife told me I was wearing sweatpants too many days in a row. Did I take offense? Of course not. I started putting in some effort to make my wife happy. Why is op’s request so horrible? A spouse should want to meet their partner’s reasonable requests to look more attractive.

[Anonymous]

Is it just clothing?!

My DH doesn’t seem to particularly care what I wear, unless it extreme in some way i suppose.

I am fit/in shape, at the salon regularly, have nice skin etc and wear a bit of makeup most days but not a ton.

I don’t care what he wears either (again, as long as it is not extreme in some way). I do care that he tries to stay relatively in shape, practices good hygiene, etc.

[Anonymous]

It shouldn’t be any surprise that the women on this forum don’t care what their husbands think or if they find them attractive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want her to dress up, take her somewhere worth dressing up for.

As a SAHM, no way in hell am I dressing up every day, I need to be able to play at the park with my kids. Can’t do that in jeans. Plus my clothes get completely dirty by the end of the day. But if my H takes me somewhere nice, or better yet when we have a weekend away, I’ll dress up.

If she’s wearing the same outfit for days on end, then it’s probably depression and she needs help. But if you’re pissed she wears yoga pants when you want her to wear jeans, back off and maybe re-assess what you find valuable about your wife.

Sorry, don’t care how you or anyone else dresses, but the statement in bold is simply stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want her to dress up, take her somewhere worth dressing up for.

As a SAHM, no way in hell am I dressing up every day, I need to be able to play at the park with my kids. Can’t do that in jeans. Plus my clothes get completely dirty by the end of the day. But if my H takes me somewhere nice, or better yet when we have a weekend away, I’ll dress up.

If she’s wearing the same outfit for days on end, then it’s probably depression and she needs help. But if you’re pissed she wears yoga pants when you want her to wear jeans, back off and maybe re-assess what you find valuable about your wife.

Sorry, don’t care how you or anyone else dresses, but the statement in bold is simply stupid.

Denim is extremely inflexible, which is why you never see workout clothes made out of it.

I wear denim maybe 3-4x a year. It’s just way too uncomfortable and restrictive for me. I don’t wear anything I can’t do a full squat in.

But I was a gymnast and dancer, and I’m used to being able to use the full range of motion of my joints. Not being able to feels suffocating for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone saying "take her out" -- stop being dense. He'd like her to put some effort in every day, or most days, rather than just special occasions. And I think that's a valid request. It signals the desire to BE desired, which is part of a healthy relationship.

My advice for OP would be to stop hinting and just tell her it would mean a lot to you if you both could return to the days of trying to impress and woo each other. Of course, that conversation will only work if you're otherwise in a good place relationship-wise and she isn't privately resentful of you. If she gets offended or doesn't follow through, no more talks on the subject. Time to accept it and figure out if it's a dealbreaker.

I've been considering making a similar thread lately, but I knew I'd get thrown a bunch of specious "it's her body!!1!" arguments. Most of my female friends have easy, low-stress lives with kind husbands, yet they don't put an ounce of effort into looking attractive. It strikes me as disrespectful and rude to their partners to not do a few simple things to maintain attractiveness. Is it really that hard to dye your grays every 7 weeks when you don't have a job and you're wealthy and your kids are in school? Come on. I'm not talking about pageant makeup or working out or anything time-consuming.

Was she ever different though? I dress horribly. But I have been dressing horribly since I met my husband, even when I was younger and hotter in rags.

It would be such a bait and switch if he started complaining now.

FWIW, I have gained some weight but he has gained the same amount so....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want her to dress up, take her somewhere worth dressing up for.

As a SAHM, no way in hell am I dressing up every day, I need to be able to play at the park with my kids. Can’t do that in jeans. Plus my clothes get completely dirty by the end of the day. But if my H takes me somewhere nice, or better yet when we have a weekend away, I’ll dress up.

If she’s wearing the same outfit for days on end, then it’s probably depression and she needs help. But if you’re pissed she wears yoga pants when you want her to wear jeans, back off and maybe re-assess what you find valuable about your wife.

Sorry, don’t care how you or anyone else dresses, but the statement in bold is simply stupid.

Denim is extremely inflexible, which is why you never see workout clothes made out of it.

I wear denim maybe 3-4x a year. It’s just way too uncomfortable and restrictive for me. I don’t wear anything I can’t do a full squat in.

But I was a gymnast and dancer, and I’m used to being able to use the full range of motion of my joints. Not being able to feels suffocating for me.

PP - I understand preferring other pants to jeans, don’t get me wrong. I also prefer to wear workout clothes to play with my kids. But to state that one “can’t“ do it in jeans is just ridiculous. People do extremely active WORK in jeans all the time. If you can’t squat in jeans it’s perhaps because your jeans are too tight or not a high enough rise. Again, I understand that jeans are not everyone’s cup of tea anymore, but people are acting like putting on a pair of jeans is the equivalent of a full length ballgown and heels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a pandemic.

And no one wants to wear jeans when it's 90+ degrees outside and 60+% humidity OP. That's how you get yeast infections.

You can wear shorts. Tights are hotter than shorts. I do not understand how yoga tights became the standard bottom.

Jean shorts in 90+ humid weather are also how you get yeast infections. You must not understand how women's bodies work, they need some wicking in the lady parts. It's not the legs that are the problem, lol.

Loose pants and skirts are the way to go. Or wicking. Which is probably what your wife is already wearing.

+1. There are cute combos to wear at home but not when cleaning and you'll get it wrecked. This is why there are "house clothes" for childcare/pet care/cleaning and clothes for being around other people/socializing.

If you bother your SO about her clothes and the money it costs when she buys new things then you aren't helping anyone, either. I think she sounds stressed and possibly depressed or if OP isn't a troll then doesn't understand how low of a priority clothes are when someone carries a heavy load.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want her to dress up, take her somewhere worth dressing up for.

As a SAHM, no way in hell am I dressing up every day, I need to be able to play at the park with my kids. Can’t do that in jeans. Plus my clothes get completely dirty by the end of the day. But if my H takes me somewhere nice, or better yet when we have a weekend away, I’ll dress up.

If she’s wearing the same outfit for days on end, then it’s probably depression and she needs help. But if you’re pissed she wears yoga pants when you want her to wear jeans, back off and maybe re-assess what you find valuable about your wife.

Sorry, don’t care how you or anyone else dresses, but the statement in bold is simply stupid.

Yes this is so dumb. I took my kid to the playground for two hours today. In jeans. I also put my hair up in a nice chignon and wore a nice but comfortable tank top. Was I ready for a fancy dinner out? No, but I did look presentable and wouldn’t have felt embarrassed if I ran into someone I knew. Oh and I also had a great time running around with my kid.

[Anonymous]

LOL, I have the opposite problem. My DH wants me to wear LESS clothing around the house...he doesn't care what I wear but would rather less or nothing!

[Anonymous]

So glad my H is attracted to me no matter what I wear. Although he’d probably say he’s most attracted when I wear nothing at all, ha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want her to dress up, take her somewhere worth dressing up for.

As a SAHM, no way in hell am I dressing up every day, I need to be able to play at the park with my kids. Can’t do that in jeans. Plus my clothes get completely dirty by the end of the day. But if my H takes me somewhere nice, or better yet when we have a weekend away, I’ll dress up.

If she’s wearing the same outfit for days on end, then it’s probably depression and she needs help. But if you’re pissed she wears yoga pants when you want her to wear jeans, back off and maybe re-assess what you find valuable about your wife.

Sorry, don’t care how you or anyone else dresses, but the statement in bold is simply stupid.

Yes this is so dumb. I took my kid to the playground for two hours today. In jeans. I also put my hair up in a nice chignon and wore a nice but comfortable tank top. Was I ready for a fancy dinner out? No, but I did look presentable and wouldn’t have felt embarrassed if I ran into someone I knew. Oh and I also had a great time running around with my kid.

NP. A nice chignon for the park, naturally. I'm sure you did it just to keep your hair out of the way. So practical, right?



The fact you have any concern about potentially being embarrassed if you run into someone you know at the playground--wow. You must frequent one high-end playground if you're worried about the other mommies and daddies judging you for anything less than a chignon your nice tank top and of course your trusty, classy jeans. Maybe you're concerned you'd run into a parent who had influence at the PTA....

If a chignon is for the playground, do post us a photo of your hair when you actually go somewhere that matters, like the grocery store.

This is such peak DCUM. But you'll never see how ridiculous you and your chignon sound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want her to dress up, take her somewhere worth dressing up for.

As a SAHM, no way in hell am I dressing up every day, I need to be able to play at the park with my kids. Can’t do that in jeans. Plus my clothes get completely dirty by the end of the day. But if my H takes me somewhere nice, or better yet when we have a weekend away, I’ll dress up.

If she’s wearing the same outfit for days on end, then it’s probably depression and she needs help. But if you’re pissed she wears yoga pants when you want her to wear jeans, back off and maybe re-assess what you find valuable about your wife.

Sorry, don’t care how you or anyone else dresses, but the statement in bold is simply stupid.

Yes this is so dumb. I took my kid to the playground for two hours today. In jeans. I also put my hair up in a nice chignon and wore a nice but comfortable tank top. Was I ready for a fancy dinner out? No, but I did look presentable and wouldn’t have felt embarrassed if I ran into someone I knew. Oh and I also had a great time running around with my kid.

NP. A nice chignon for the park, naturally. I'm sure you did it just to keep your hair out of the way. So practical, right?



The fact you have any concern about potentially being embarrassed if you run into someone you know at the playground--wow. You must frequent one high-end playground if you're worried about the other mommies and daddies judging you for anything less than a chignon your nice tank top and of course your trusty, classy jeans. Maybe you're concerned you'd run into a parent who had influence at the PTA....

If a chignon is for the playground, do post us a photo of your hair when you actually go somewhere that matters, like the grocery store.

This is such peak DCUM. But you'll never see how ridiculous you and your chignon sound.

Lol, I'm definitely a ponytail kind of girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So glad my H is attracted to me no matter what I wear. Although he’d probably say he’s most attracted when I wear nothing at all, ha.

That's my dh too.