Can you have a successful sexless marriage?

[Anonymous]

When women blame men for loss of their libido it's the same as men with ED blaming their wives.

It's physical, it's almost never their partners fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When women blame men for loss of their libido it's the same as men with ED blaming their wives.

It's physical, it's almost never their partners fault.

Sometimes, but so much of sex for women is mental. Women don't experience sex the same way men do. I'm surprised that so many hetero married men don't know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the low libido spouses/women here...although your spouses may manifest their emotions differently and behave with varying degrees of empathy and maturity, please try to remember that at its core, your spouse is feeling crushing sadness and grief over permanently losing a connection with you. I know that’s how I feel (DH).

And know that some wives put out and are crushed by the lack of intimacy outside the bedroom, and just being a warm, wet hole.

[Anonymous]

I assume most married people over 60 are having infrequent or no sex. Not all..but if you are one of the few, no kinky old people stories please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When women blame men for loss of their libido it's the same as men with ED blaming their wives.

It's physical, it's almost never their partners fault.

Sometimes, but so much of sex for women is mental. Women don't experience sex the same way men do. I'm surprised that so many hetero married men don't know that.

And why oh why do these threads never discuss responsive desire??
For the record- my friends who don't want to have sex with thier husbands...their husbands are jerks who take them for granted
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/27/opinion/nothing-is-wrong-with-your-sex-drive.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When women blame men for loss of their libido it's the same as men with ED blaming their wives.

It's physical, it's almost never their partners fault.

The thing is, I don't think you see a lot of women sitting around getting mad at their partners for their drop in libido. I think most women are okay with the drop.

What happens is that their partners are upset by the drop in sex frequency, and that creates a problem that needs a solution. How do you solve that problem? Well, say the women, trying to be helpful, maybe we would be more interested in sex if you were more attentive and affectionate. And the men try and it doesn't change the woman's low libido. Maybe she puts a bit more effort into have sex more often. But it doesn't sustain itself.

But I don't think women start out unhappy and blaming their partners for their low libido, most of the time. I think it's fine and they turn their attention to other things, very often parenting because it offers them intimacy without sex, which is pretty much what they want at that stage.

They only become unhappy because sex is demanded of them and they don't feel like it, and being asked to have sex when you don't want to is a dynamic no woman enjoys. So it's different phenomenon than the man who blames his partner for his ED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the low libido spouses/women here...although your spouses may manifest their emotions differently and behave with varying degrees of empathy and maturity, please try to remember that at its core, your spouse is feeling crushing sadness and grief over permanently losing a connection with you. I know that’s how I feel (DH).

And know that some wives put out and are crushed by the lack of intimacy outside the bedroom, and just being a warm, wet hole.

They are nanny, housekeeper, cook and personal assistant outside the bedroom to some of these men. Not cherished or valued as a person.

If you aren't having sex guys- look in the mirror first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the low libido spouses/women here...although your spouses may manifest their emotions differently and behave with varying degrees of empathy and maturity, please try to remember that at its core, your spouse is feeling crushing sadness and grief over permanently losing a connection with you. I know that’s how I feel (DH).

And know that some wives put out and are crushed by the lack of intimacy outside the bedroom, and just being a warm, wet hole.

They are nanny, housekeeper, cook and personal assistant outside the bedroom to some of these men. Not cherished or valued as a person.

If you aren't having sex guys- look in the mirror first.

Again, the mirror equivalent of blaming women when their husband can't get it up

I mean it's possible he's such a jerk she can't fathom having sex with him but somehow she doesn't divorce him.

It's just boredom and hormones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the low libido spouses/women here...although your spouses may manifest their emotions differently and behave with varying degrees of empathy and maturity, please try to remember that at its core, your spouse is feeling crushing sadness and grief over permanently losing a connection with you. I know that’s how I feel (DH).

And know that some wives put out and are crushed by the lack of intimacy outside the bedroom, and just being a warm, wet hole.

They are nanny, housekeeper, cook and personal assistant outside the bedroom to some of these men. Not cherished or valued as a person.

If you aren't having sex guys- look in the mirror first.

I’m the PP talking about wives crushed above — while I agree that PP is right for some (many?) cases, I think the mix of problems in each relationship is unique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Her last reason for rejection was that I hadn't been romantic enough to her in the past few weeks.

She's telling you something. What does romantic mean to her? Everyone has a different love language. Instead of accepting a sexless marriage, are you willing to romance her more?

Terrible advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When women blame men for loss of their libido it's the same as men with ED blaming their wives.

It's physical, it's almost never their partners fault.

Sometimes, but so much of sex for women is mental. Women don't experience sex the same way men do. I'm surprised that so many hetero married men don't know that.

And why oh why do these threads never discuss responsive desire??
For the record- my friends who don't want to have sex with thier husbands...their husbands are jerks who take them for granted
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/27/opinion/nothing-is-wrong-with-your-sex-drive.html

How old are you? I am mid 40s and none of my girlfriends want to have sex with their husbands. They aren't bad men. They are just too familiar, like family. They can't change that. But sure, if my DH was a jerk to me I wouldn't let him have sex with me.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As I've said before, there is no better place I've found on the internet to convince me to never get married again. I'll never have a GF that gets away with denying me sex, no matter her perceived good reasons.

You think you are entitled to sex. That is very rapey.

I think I'm entitled to enjoy a fulfilling relationship with a woman that includes sex. If sex isn't at least nearly important to her as it is to me, that will be a problem and she is free to find another man who is a better match. There is nothing rapey about wanting, or even expecting frequent sex in a relationship. There is force involved.

Nice Fruedian typo.
Listen. You aren't entitled to any flipping thing to do with women. You aren't entitled to a relationship just for being alive. You aren't entitled to sex and you shouldn't expect sex.

Are women entitled to monogamy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As I've said before, there is no better place I've found on the internet to convince me to never get married again. I'll never have a GF that gets away with denying me sex, no matter her perceived good reasons.

You think you are entitled to sex. That is very rapey.

I think I'm entitled to enjoy a fulfilling relationship with a woman that includes sex. If sex isn't at least nearly important to her as it is to me, that will be a problem and she is free to find another man who is a better match. There is nothing rapey about wanting, or even expecting frequent sex in a relationship. There is no force involved.

Nice Fruedian typo.
Listen. You aren't entitled to any flipping thing to do with women. You aren't entitled to a relationship just for being alive. You aren't entitled to sex and you shouldn't expect sex.

Oh but I am. I'm entitled to pursue a life of happiness which includes a great relationship with plenty of sex. I certainly expect to have that in my and I'll share my life with the right woman who expects the same. Maybe in your miserable life you don't expect sex, and don't think your H should expect it, but don't dictate that for me or anyone else who still enjoys sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As I've said before, there is no better place I've found on the internet to convince me to never get married again. I'll never have a GF that gets away with denying me sex, no matter her perceived good reasons.

You think you are entitled to sex. That is very rapey.

I think I'm entitled to enjoy a fulfilling relationship with a woman that includes sex. If sex isn't at least nearly important to her as it is to me, that will be a problem and she is free to find another man who is a better match. There is nothing rapey about wanting, or even expecting frequent sex in a relationship. There is force involved.

Nice Fruedian typo.
Listen. You aren't entitled to any flipping thing to do with women. You aren't entitled to a relationship just for being alive. You aren't entitled to sex and you shouldn't expect sex.

And FYI coersing someone into sex is assault. It doesn't have to involve force https://www.healthline.com/health/sexual-coercion

When did I say anything about coercing a woman into sex? This has gone from rape, to slavery, to coercion and all I mentioned was my desire to have a partner who enjoys sex as much as I do. Specifically, a GF, not a wife. If that looks rapey to you, or like coercion, then something is wrong with you, not me.