BF failed to help me with something very important

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here
Please people don’t tell me that I’m immature or taking advantage of him
It has nothing to do with money

People come with different issues and in different variety’s
There’s people with medical debt or student loans
People with criminal records
People with DUIs
I have none of this, I simply asked him to add me to his insurance for 2 months, there’s nothing illegal
The point is he said yes and then send me to his mom to say no

Thank you for your responses!!!!

He CANNOT add you to his insurance for two months, OP.

1) You are an unlicensed driver.
2) He doesn't own your car.


You insure CARS not drivers. MAYBE if you were going to drive his car. But otherwise, there is no such thing as adding a girlfriend to one's car insurance for a couple of months.

It sounds lo me like his mother tried to explain this to you and showed you the steps that need to be taken and you're being stubborn and demanding something that cannot be done.

This is not true. We added our AuPair to our policy when she moved here. Same cars we always had but included her as an authorized driver.

[Anonymous]

OP here
Thank you PP!!!
Yes, you can add international drivers to your insurance, but the premiums can get very high, not a problem since I wanted to pay for it. I’ve had it done before, and didn’t think much of an issue because everything is legal.
Again, my questions was geared towards how my BF let me hanging and involved his mother
This is a reason for me to let the relationship go for now, heck he’s almost 38, that’s why I’m more bothered by this.
I would never want anybody do anything illegal for me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here
Please people don’t tell me that I’m immature or taking advantage of him
It has nothing to do with money

People come with different issues and in different variety’s
There’s people with medical debt or student loans
People with criminal records
People with DUIs
I have none of this, I simply asked him to add me to his insurance for 2 months, there’s nothing illegal
The point is he said yes and then send me to his mom to say no

Thank you for your responses!!!!

He CANNOT add you to his insurance for two months, OP.

1) You are an unlicensed driver.
2) He doesn't own your car.


You insure CARS not drivers. MAYBE if you were going to drive his car. But otherwise, there is no such thing as adding a girlfriend to one's car insurance for a couple of months.

It sounds lo me like his mother tried to explain this to you and showed you the steps that need to be taken and you're being stubborn and demanding something that cannot be done.

This is not true. We added our AuPair to our policy when she moved here. Same cars we always had but included her as an authorized driver.

OP here
Would you mind letting me know how much the insurance cost just for the au pair? I Heard the agency once say it could go up by $2k for the year just for the au pair. Just curious. Ty!

[Anonymous]

I keep bringing up his brother and appliances bc I feel like I did a lot for him. He got me to take care of him, even back in the past he always Brought it up that I should help his parents. My friends kept telling me not to do it, bc he’s not my husband and they’re not my family, I thought their thinking was wrong. But now people on here saying the same thing, that I shouldn’t take care of him. So now I feel even more mad and hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here
Thank you PP!!!
Yes, you can add international drivers to your insurance, but the premiums can get very high, not a problem since I wanted to pay for it. I’ve had it done before, and didn’t think much of an issue because everything is legal.
Again, my questions was geared towards how my BF let me hanging and involved his mother
This is a reason for me to let the relationship go for now, heck he’s almost 38, that’s why I’m more bothered by this.
I would never want anybody do anything illegal for me

His mom is telling him not to add you or subsidize you because it is a huge commitment, financially and with regard to liability OP. If you get into an accident, his rates will skyrocket. You seem kind of dense. What you are asking him to do is not illegal, but it is a huge undertaking, and maybe his mom is stepping in because she thinks you're kind of a train wreck and are looking for an easy greencard. Since you asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have a valid license but were planning to drive this car to and from work anyway? This story is odd, but it sounds like you were asking him to commit insurance fraud.

Well, she could have an international license.

There's no such thing.

Foreigners can drive on the license issued in their country of origin depending on the country/license. Source: I’ve had many au pairs.

Were your au pairs looking for a green card through you by marriage into your family?

[Anonymous]

I'm curious. Insurance companies run a check on your driving record. How does that work if one's license is not from a U.S. jurisdiction?

The first time I ever had to get insurance and registration I found it very confusing, my parents sort of walked me through it. I remember when I was young--like 18--I didn't understand the difference between title and registration.

[Anonymous]

OP, could be worse. I have a friend in a long time dysfunctional relationship. Her bf (of 30 years) had so many DUIs when he was younger he literally can't get a license until he's something like 60. But he drives to work. His theory is that if you drive a white car they won't stop you, which has worked for him for a long time. He makes her put the vehicles in her name so if a cop runs his plates while he's driving the vehicle won't come up as owned by someone with revocation. And she does it.

[Anonymous]

OMG I know it is a huge liability issue, but again, the freaking car would be insured!!!!!!!!!
I’m not driving around with a car without insurance!!!!
Him being 38 I was assuming he’s old enough to understand what’s going on and to do some research, call his insurance and ask what’s going on. Then he could make a decision. After asking him few times and he agreeing to it even a week before I moved in, I assumed he was clear on all the risks.
I now realized that he didn’t even put any effort into it, never called the insurance for a quote, nothing. I know bc I asked him.
That’s why I’m even more mad. He should have figured it out BEFORE I moved in and tell me sorry I can’t do it. I gave him the option to say NO but BEFORE I move in. Otherwise I would have waited a few months to get my license and then move in with him, as my friend has been helping me out.
I feel deceived by this. On top of that he doesn’t talk to me about it and instead his mom tells me to get myself the license, I feel totally embarrassed and mad!!!!! He should have said it to me, I wouldn’t have been mad. I told him that!!!
But dragging me into his house and then letting me hang like that was very messed up.
I have no family here, I had no job and $0 income for 16 weeks!!!!! I just got a job with very good money and I didn’t want to miss out, it’s an emergency situation
I mean he can’t help me out for a month or two?
If you guys on here lived with your bf/gf, and your car breaks down for 3 weeks, your bf/gf won’t help you out by driving you around or borrowing your car? What will you do? Just say too bad figure it out yourself
I mean come on
Nothings illegal here and no, I’m not looking for a easy green card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, could be worse. I have a friend in a long time dysfunctional relationship. Her bf (of 30 years) had so many DUIs when he was younger he literally can't get a license until he's something like 60. But he drives to work. His theory is that if you drive a white car they won't stop you, which has worked for him for a long time. He makes her put the vehicles in her name so if a cop runs his plates while he's driving the vehicle won't come up as owned by someone with revocation. And she does it.

That’s what I said before
People come with different issues
Medical student debt, illnesses, diseases, DUIs , addictions....
So just bc one has an issue , does it mean someone can’t date and help them?
I have nothing except my only problem was this license issue, and there’s nothing on my record,
I just never got the US license

[Anonymous]

First, I would say that you are clearly hurt and feel betrayed by your bf and his family and that alone is a big enough red flag that you may need to take a break or end this relationship for now.

Second, if your bf doesn’t want to add you to his insurance for whatever reason and you don’t have a way to get to work, then tell him that you expect him to drive you. That may show you whether he’s committed to you or not.

Third, if bf won’t drive you and you still want to stay with him until you get your own license and car, then you need to figure out another way to work. See if you can find a carpool, take the bus, or get an Uber there. If you are making good money and it’s only for a couple of months then this shouldn’t be too much of a burden and might cost a lot less than paying for the insurance anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here
Please people don’t tell me that I’m immature or taking advantage of him
It has nothing to do with money

People come with different issues and in different variety’s
There’s people with medical debt or student loans
People with criminal records
People with DUIs
I have none of this, I simply asked him to add me to his insurance for 2 months, there’s nothing illegal
The point is he said yes and then send me to his mom to say no

Thank you for your responses!!!!

He CANNOT add you to his insurance for two months, OP.

1) You are an unlicensed driver.
2) He doesn't own your car.


You insure CARS not drivers. MAYBE if you were going to drive his car. But otherwise, there is no such thing as adding a girlfriend to one's car insurance for a couple of months.

It sounds lo me like his mother tried to explain this to you and showed you the steps that need to be taken and you're being stubborn and demanding something that cannot be done.

This is not true. We added our AuPair to our policy when she moved here. Same cars we always had but included her as an authorized driver.

Yes, an authorized driver of YOUR CARS.

She doesn’t want to be on his insurance to drive his car(s). She wants him to insure her for her car which isn’t owned.

[Anonymous]

He's 38 and running to mom to deal with an issue with his girlfriend. Red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG I know it is a huge liability issue, but again, the freaking car would be insured!!!!!!!!!
I’m not driving around with a car without insurance!!!!
Him being 38 I was assuming he’s old enough to understand what’s going on and to do some research, call his insurance and ask what’s going on. Then he could make a decision. After asking him few times and he agreeing to it even a week before I moved in, I assumed he was clear on all the risks.
I now realized that he didn’t even put any effort into it, never called the insurance for a quote, nothing. I know bc I asked him.
That’s why I’m even more mad. He should have figured it out BEFORE I moved in and tell me sorry I can’t do it. I gave him the option to say NO but BEFORE I move in. Otherwise I would have waited a few months to get my license and then move in with him, as my friend has been helping me out.
I feel deceived by this. On top of that he doesn’t talk to me about it and instead his mom tells me to get myself the license, I feel totally embarrassed and mad!!!!! He should have said it to me, I wouldn’t have been mad. I told him that!!!
But dragging me into his house and then letting me hang like that was very messed up.
I have no family here, I had no job and $0 income for 16 weeks!!!!! I just got a job with very good money and I didn’t want to miss out, it’s an emergency situation
I mean he can’t help me out for a month or two?
If you guys on here lived with your bf/gf, and your car breaks down for 3 weeks, your bf/gf won’t help you out by driving you around or borrowing your car? What will you do? Just say too bad figure it out yourself
I mean come on
Nothings illegal here and no, I’m not looking for a easy green card.

Moving in was contingent on him putting effort into something that could not be done?

And you are ready to break up over this?

How will your life be improved if you do?

[Anonymous]

Just call Geico or progressive or Allstate and ask for the
Cost to insure the car you want to own.

You have an international license yes? So your legal
To drive is the USA.

Go to car dealership, buy car. Show them policy number from
Insurance company you arranged and they will tag and title then
Car for you it’s about $300.

How is this so difficult for you?