BF failed to help me with something very important

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And no, I didn’t ask for ANY money
Neither did he offer any assistance during the 16 weeks I was making $0
I wouldn’t have accepted any assistance, but it’s just about the principle and I think it would have been a very nice gesture to say listen, do you need any money for food since you’re making $0 income for 16 weeks lol

It seems like you want him to bail you out (or "offer" to) pretty regularly.

What’s bailing out here? I offered food and money to anybody I knew that was making no money and in need of assistance.
And that while making $0 myself and living off of my savings.
I offered food to his family even
I helped his elderly mom take care of his brother
This is what decent people to during a pandemic
So that just shows about people’s character I think
And again, it’s not about taking it, it’s just about simply offering and asking that makes the whole difference
I don’t understand why I get attacked for this

[Anonymous]

You’re still a moron

[Anonymous]

OP, just give it up. You aren't going to find support on DCUM. People love to tear others down here. The funny thing is, if your BF wrote in, asking if he was wrong, everyone would jump on him! You can't win on DCUM. I only come on here to settle in with my bowl of popcorn and watch the carnage.

[Anonymous]

PP I noticed that
Oh well, I was just looking for advice bc I’m in a sticky situation lol
Thank you to everybody who gave good advice!!!

[Anonymous]

OP, he isn't worth the effort. I would end the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Oh gosh, the racism of this board! She is a foreigner, doesn’t mean she is trying to get an American passport!

OP - I’m European too and I think you are having a cultural “misunderstanding” Americans are generally very stingy with money, you’ll notice this particularly if you are from Southern Europe. The things that you mention you did (buy electrodomestics, help care for a brother) many people would do the same where I am from, but not in the US (that’s why they suspect you are a gold digger). Americans are very individualistic and think only about themselves, they Just don’t do thing for others if they can’t get something in return. I am always shocked to see for example parents who don’t help their adult kids with financial issues even if they could. What happened in your situation is that you thought the help you needed from your boyfriend was not a big deal and something that you would have done gor him in a heartbeat, and for him (and his mom) it was something that could get them potentially in financial trouble and not worth the risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And no, I didn’t ask for ANY money
Neither did he offer any assistance during the 16 weeks I was making $0
I wouldn’t have accepted any assistance, but it’s just about the principle and I think it would have been a very nice gesture to say listen, do you need any money for food since you’re making $0 income for 16 weeks lol

It seems like you want him to bail you out (or "offer" to) pretty regularly.

What’s bailing out here? I offered food and money to anybody I knew that was making no money and in need of assistance.
And that while making $0 myself and living off of my savings.
I offered food to his family even
I helped his elderly mom take care of his brother
This is what decent people to during a pandemic
So that just shows about people’s character I think
And again, it’s not about taking it, it’s just about simply offering and asking that makes the whole difference
I don’t understand why I get attacked for this

OP, maybe you don't need to get attacked. But what everyone is trying to tell you is that your bf - for whatever reason - does not want to give you what you asked for. Who knows why. The point is, he doesn't. You have, as they say in my country, your pliers out. That's deeply unattractive. Applying pressure to get what you want - when someone doesn't give it voluntarily - is not attractive. Put the pliers away. Fend for yourself.

[Anonymous]

This man is not for you. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh gosh, the racism of this board! She is a foreigner, doesn’t mean she is trying to get an American passport!

OP - I’m European too and I think you are having a cultural “misunderstanding” Americans are generally very stingy with money, you’ll notice this particularly if you are from Southern Europe. The things that you mention you did (buy electrodomestics, help care for a brother) many people would do the same where I am from, but not in the US (that’s why they suspect you are a gold digger). Americans are very individualistic and think only about themselves, they Just don’t do thing for others if they can’t get something in return. I am always shocked to see for example parents who don’t help their adult kids with financial issues even if they could. What happened in your situation is that you thought the help you needed from your boyfriend was not a big deal and something that you would have done gor him in a heartbeat, and for him (and his mom) it was something that could get them potentially in financial trouble and not worth the risk.

WOW thank you very much for this response, made me think about it a lot!!!!
Now I’m realizing more and more things about him that I don’t like lol
Thank you!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here
I was unemployed with no income for 4 months during Covid, I finally found a new job and had to buy a new car and needed help with registering the car, insurance and stuff
Nothing too crazy
It might not look like a big deal, but to me this was VERY important as I needed the car ASAP and he knew about this for months and he acknowledged the issue and said he would help me
I don’t want to go into too much detail about it

I don't understand why you needed help doing this. You made it sound like this huge LEGAL issue and it was just getting a car registered and insured?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here
Please people don’t tell me that I’m immature or taking advantage of him
It has nothing to do with money

People come with different issues and in different variety’s
There’s people with medical debt or student loans
People with criminal records
People with DUIs
I have none of this, I simply asked him to add me to his insurance for 2 months, there’s nothing illegal
The point is he said yes and then send me to his mom to say no

Thank you for your responses!!!!

If you don't have a valid drivers license, then yes, it is illegal