BF failed to help me with something very important

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here
I was unemployed with no income for 4 months during Covid, I finally found a new job and had to buy a new car and needed help with registering the car, insurance and stuff
Nothing too crazy
It might not look like a big deal, but to me this was VERY important as I needed the car ASAP and he knew about this for months and he acknowledged the issue and said he would help me
I don’t want to go into too much detail about it

Are you a child? If not, why aren't you capable of registering a car and buying insurance? You shouldn't need much help with that. The boyfriend's mom gave you a talk to point you in the right direction. It doesn't take much to do these things. Any basic adult should be capable of them.

[Anonymous]

Are you the lady who doesn’t get a room at her boyfriends house?

[Anonymous]

Your boyfriends mom got involved and told him not to add you and then he couldn't face telling you so he got his mother to do it instead.

No more helping his family, no more buying appliances. He isn't mature enough for a real relationship. It's up to you if you decide to stay with him.

[Anonymous]

You didn’t get your drivers license so you needed him to lie to his car insurance company?

You have communication issues - he needs to spell out what he’s willing to do and not willing to do, and you need to be responsible for your actions.

I don’t think this relationship will work out.

[Anonymous]

You don’t have a valid license but were planning to drive this car to and from work anyway? This story is odd, but it sounds like you were asking him to commit insurance fraud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have a valid license but were planning to drive this car to and from work anyway? This story is odd, but it sounds like you were asking him to commit insurance fraud.

Well, she could have an international license.

[Anonymous]

You’re not his wife do he’s not going to help you out that way. You do the same thing, don’t do things for him and his family that a wife would do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have a valid license but were planning to drive this car to and from work anyway? This story is odd, but it sounds like you were asking him to commit insurance fraud.

Well, she could have an international license.

She is probably required to switch to a US-issued license after xx days living in that state. International might not be valid for a resident.

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t sound like it was very important to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have a valid license but were planning to drive this car to and from work anyway? This story is odd, but it sounds like you were asking him to commit insurance fraud.

Well, she could have an international license.

She is probably required to switch to a US-issued license after xx days living in that state. International might not be valid for a resident.

+1. Depending on where she lives, an international license was probably only valid in the US for 1-6 months. After that, she’s considered to be an unlicensed driver. If her boyfriend registers this car in his name and then she gets into an accident, he could get sued and his auto insurer would deny coverage because she’s an unlicensed driver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have a valid license but were planning to drive this car to and from work anyway? This story is odd, but it sounds like you were asking him to commit insurance fraud.

Well, she could have an international license.

She is probably required to switch to a US-issued license after xx days living in that state. International might not be valid for a resident.

+1. Depending on where she lives, an international license was probably only valid in the US for 1-6 months. After that, she’s considered to be an unlicensed driver. If her boyfriend registers this car in his name and then she gets into an accident, he could get sued and his auto insurer would deny coverage because she’s an unlicensed driver.

+2. Insurance fraud, unlicensed driver, it’s all a but much.

[Anonymous]

Are you a child? If not, why aren't you capable of registering a car and buying insurance? You shouldn't need much help with that. The boyfriend's mom gave you a talk to point you in the right direction. It doesn't take much to do these things. Any basic adult should be capable of them.

She's a foreigner and you expect her to be super savvy in legal language and procedures? In how many other languages are you capable of getting your documents; have you ever even tried it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue isn't whether or not you should have asked him.... you did and he agreed, and then he flaked out on you. Huge red flag. You can't rely on him, because even when you tell him something is important to you, he doesn't care.

Whether or not this is worth breaking up over is up to you. If this is the first time it has happened, I would just communicate very clearly how big of a deal this was to me and that it will be a deal beaker if it happens again.

Excellent post

+1 Even if BF has said yes, and then thought about it and realized it was too sketchy he should have told OP. Who has their mom break the news?

[Anonymous]

This entire situation is a hot mess. It appears you are unlicensed in the US. You cannot be simply added to his policy without that necessary document. Your BF seems unaware of the rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue isn't whether or not you should have asked him.... you did and he agreed, and then he flaked out on you. Huge red flag. You can't rely on him, because even when you tell him something is important to you, he doesn't care.

Whether or not this is worth breaking up over is up to you. If this is the first time it has happened, I would just communicate very clearly how big of a deal this was to me and that it will be a deal beaker if it happens again.

Excellent post

+1 Even if BF has said yes, and then thought about it and realized it was too sketchy he should have told OP. Who has their mom break the news?

+2. Also, stop helping him with major things (like his brother) since it's not being reciprocated.

Keep in mind that if you get married, his mom will have a lot of power in your marriage.