BF failed to help me with something very important

[Anonymous]

Try and find a more temporary living situation nearby to you new job then move out and break up with your 38 year old boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

OP, you suck because it sounds like you decided this was very important...for someone else to deal with. If it were that important to you then you would have done the research, put in some legwork, and made some calls. You don't get to decide something is very important and then outsource all the work involved.

Your boyfriend sucks because he said "yes" possibly knowing he couldn't following through. He fails at communicating, fears confrontation, and became avoidant when the deadline approached. Then he sent his mom to do the dirty work.

How this should have worked: You would have done a bit more research, come to him with questions, and you two would have set apart time to work through it together. Even with it ending with his not being able to add you, at least you both showed you GAF enough to try. Neither of you tried.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m still confused about how he’s supposed to insure you with his insurance on your car?

[Anonymous]

Serious question are you guys 18 years old??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here
I was unemployed with no income for 4 months during Covid, I finally found a new job and had to buy a new car and needed help with registering the car, insurance and stuff
Nothing too crazy
It might not look like a big deal, but to me this was VERY important as I needed the car ASAP and he knew about this for months and he acknowledged the issue and said he would help me
I don’t want to go into too much detail about it

OMG, are you a functioning adult? Because, this is the stuff that real grown-ups handle on their own. Registering a car? Go show up at the MVA and they will tell you exactly what you need. Fill out the forms, pay them, it's done. Insurance? Couldn't be easier. You can buy it online, cheaply, in about 15 minutes or less. You must be annoying as F as a parnter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m still confused about how he’s supposed to insure you with his insurance on your car?

Stop trying to understand it, OP has no clue what she’s talking about, and doesn’t care to understand it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just call Geico or progressive or Allstate and ask for the
Cost to insure the car you want to own.

You have an international license yes? So your legal
To drive is the USA.

Go to car dealership, buy car. Show them policy number from
Insurance company you arranged and they will tag and title then
Car for you it’s about $300.

How is this so difficult for you?

This is the right answer. OP, just do this. I'm still utterly confused about why you are dragging your bf into this, and why you are tying it to living together.

[Anonymous]

Op how old are you? If he is 38, maybe he doesn’t want anyone with daddy issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG I know it is a huge liability issue, but again, the freaking car would be insured!!!!!!!!!
I’m not driving around with a car without insurance!!!!
Him being 38 I was assuming he’s old enough to understand what’s going on and to do some research, call his insurance and ask what’s going on. Then he could make a decision. After asking him few times and he agreeing to it even a week before I moved in, I assumed he was clear on all the risks.
I now realized that he didn’t even put any effort into it, never called the insurance for a quote, nothing. I know bc I asked him.
That’s why I’m even more mad. He should have figured it out BEFORE I moved in and tell me sorry I can’t do it. I gave him the option to say NO but BEFORE I move in. Otherwise I would have waited a few months to get my license and then move in with him, as my friend has been helping me out.
I feel deceived by this. On top of that he doesn’t talk to me about it and instead his mom tells me to get myself the license, I feel totally embarrassed and mad!!!!! He should have said it to me, I wouldn’t have been mad. I told him that!!!
But dragging me into his house and then letting me hang like that was very messed up.
I have no family here, I had no job and $0 income for 16 weeks!!!!! I just got a job with very good money and I didn’t want to miss out, it’s an emergency situation
I mean he can’t help me out for a month or two?
If you guys on here lived with your bf/gf, and your car breaks down for 3 weeks, your bf/gf won’t help you out by driving you around or borrowing your car? What will you do? Just say too bad figure it out yourself
I mean come on
Nothings illegal here and no, I’m not looking for a easy green card.

Wait, you just got a job and you went out and bought a new car??

I give up, what kind of car might this be, that he doesn’t want to add you on his insurance? He obviously is suspicious about something, to not agree to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just call Geico or progressive or Allstate and ask for the
Cost to insure the car you want to own.

You have an international license yes? So your legal
To drive is the USA.

Go to car dealership, buy car. Show them policy number from
Insurance company you arranged and they will tag and title then
Car for you it’s about $300.

How is this so difficult for you?

This is the right answer. OP, just do this. I'm still utterly confused about why you are dragging your bf into this, and why you are tying it to living together.

+1

Don’t understand why you want your boyfriend on he hook for your problems??

[Anonymous]

The international driver's license is only good for a limited period of time. After 6 months, I believe, it expires. I asked my au pair to start the process the 2nd month she was in the US, and it's a good thing too. She ran into a ton of trouble. First there was a whole hassle of needing her intl DL translated which involved her country's embassy, then she failed the written exam twice due to language barriers. Eventually she got her US driver's license and could stay on my insurance.

My condition for using my car was that she get a US DL. That was considered annoying stringent since her friends host parents didn't care if they drove with an expired international license.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here
Please people don’t tell me that I’m immature or taking advantage of him
It has nothing to do with money

People come with different issues and in different variety’s
There’s people with medical debt or student loans
People with criminal records
People with DUIs
I have none of this, I simply asked him to add me to his insurance for 2 months, there’s nothing illegal
The point is he said yes and then send me to his mom to say no

Thank you for your responses!!!!

Op if you are asking for any money from him at all then you are in the wrong.

However I would move out. If he changed his mind or couldn't do it he should have been able to speak to you. The fact that he got his mom to do it is really bad. She shouldn't be getting involved in your decisions or relationship. The fact that she could get involved spells disaster, move on. If you stay with him it will always be two against one with boyfriend/mom on one team and you on the other team.

[Anonymous]

PP, thank you so much for your advice!
You understand what my issue is, the fact that he send his mom to talk to me, and they didn’t even ask any questions or raised any concerns, she basically told me indirectly that they don’t want to do it, which I understand.
The reason I have to move out is because my friend is helping me, but she doesn’t want to keep doing it if I’m living 15 minutes away, because of liability issues, she’s rather have the car at her property, which I also totally understand.
What I will be doing about our relationship, I’m not sure yet. I lost a big chunk of my trust to him, so I’m not sure how and how fast it will take to rebuild it. Thank you again!

[Anonymous]

And no, I didn’t ask for ANY money
Neither did he offer any assistance during the 16 weeks I was making $0
I wouldn’t have accepted any assistance, but it’s just about the principle and I think it would have been a very nice gesture to say listen, do you need any money for food since you’re making $0 income for 16 weeks lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And no, I didn’t ask for ANY money
Neither did he offer any assistance during the 16 weeks I was making $0
I wouldn’t have accepted any assistance, but it’s just about the principle and I think it would have been a very nice gesture to say listen, do you need any money for food since you’re making $0 income for 16 weeks lol

It seems like you want him to bail you out (or "offer" to) pretty regularly.