BF failed to help me with something very important

[Anonymous]

The "help" she wanted was most likely in the form of $$:
(1) pay the registration fees for the car which, depending on your state, will include the sales tax (VAT) on the car which could be thousands.
(2) pay for her car by adding her car + adding her to his insurance.

When I added my wife to my insurance last year it increased my premium by a few hundred dollar. The insurance Co. wants to know who is in the houshold.
When I added her car it increased the premium by $1000 per year.
When I paid the Tax at the tag office on the car I bought her it cost $2,100
When I paid the registration fees that was $100
When I paid for the new tag that was $25
TOTAL = 3,225

That should give some perspective...

OP said the her BF is out of work due to COVID. Maybe he doesn't have the $$ + they are not married yet so why is it his responsibility?

[Anonymous]

*pay for her car insurace

[Anonymous]

OP sounds immature and irresponsible. Unemployment, buying a car, not being able to handle the paperwork. It's all a hot mess on her part.

BF is totally reasonable to not want to help you with this paperwork. It sounds like it will cause his insurance to go up, and may potentially involve fraud. BF probably said he'd help you because he loves you. And then realized what a hot mess you're asking him to do. And now he wants to back out. Totally within his rights to do so.

However, he was super immature by avoiding the issue and having his mom step in.

In sum: OP is the one bringing the drama and being unreasonable. BF's position is reasonable. The way he handled it was not.

[Anonymous]

If he didn't want to help he should have said so from the get-go. Also, who sends his mom to talk to his girlfriend? What a p*ssy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here
I was unemployed with no income for 4 months during Covid, I finally found a new job and had to buy a new car and needed help with registering the car, insurance and stuff
Nothing too crazy
It might not look like a big deal, but to me this was VERY important as I needed the car ASAP and he knew about this for months and he acknowledged the issue and said he would help me
I don’t want to go into too much detail about it

Sounds like standard boyfriend stuff. You weren't asking him to buy the car for you. He couldn't take a day and help your register or sign up for insurance?

Why do you need your boyfriend to help you sign up for insurance and register your car. You seem needy and/or low-intelligence if you can't manage these basic tasks on your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here
I was unemployed with no income for 4 months during Covid, I finally found a new job and had to buy a new car and needed help with registering the car, insurance and stuff
Nothing too crazy
It might not look like a big deal, but to me this was VERY important as I needed the car ASAP and he knew about this for months and he acknowledged the issue and said he would help me
I don’t want to go into too much detail about it

Sounds like standard boyfriend stuff. You weren't asking him to buy the car for you. He couldn't take a day and help your register or sign up for insurance?

Why do you need your boyfriend to help you sign up for insurance and register your car. You seem needy and/or low-intelligence if you can't manage these basic tasks on your own.

Have you ever navigated the system in a different country? Before you call someone low intelligence, make sure you are capable of doing the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your responses but to those talking about insurance fraud- step back pls

I have a European license and international license
I AM a licensed driver
I just don’t have the US license, which I’m working on, this is an emergency situation with stupid Covid
If not for Covid I would have gotten it back in March, in February I was starting all the paperwork , then got sick for 2 weeks, then my mom came for one week visit
Had I know dmv would be closed for 4 months I would have tortured myself sick to do it quickly

The point is he knew it was urgent
Said he would help me
I understand this is a tricky situation
But if he said yes I expected him to help me
I told him if no, that’s totally ok, I won’t break up over that
What I do what to break up is about the lake of talking to me and telling me he can’t do it
Why send me to his mom
Why make me move in and then not help me
He should have said no BEFORE I moved in

I’m looking for advice on how to proceed, not talk about the license

He flaked on me big times, it wasn’t a small issue for me, such as oh he forgot to feed the dog or forgot get dinner

This is a huge serious very important thing for me, that’s the only reason I’m so upset
So what wieso you guys do? Move out, let it slide, ...?

Ignore everyone who is being rude to you, OP.

If you can move out, I would. He sounds unreliable. If I needed help with paperwork and my bf got his mom to tell me no for him, I'd be pissed.

If you stay with him, stop helping out. Wives don't even take care of brothers, there's absolutely no reason for a girlfriend to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The real question is, Ms. Millenial, did your BF make you avocado toast?

I know one thing....no way hes going to buy the cow now that he's getting the milk for free.

Now you're in a situation where breaking it off with someone involves "moving out"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real question is, Ms. Millenial, did your BF make you avocado toast?

I know one thing....no way hes going to buy the cow now that he's getting the milk for free.

Now you're in a situation where breaking it off with someone involves "moving out"

Are you two proud of yourselves? Why try to be helpful when you can be total b*tches on anonymous boards, am I right?

[Anonymous]

Time to adult.

If you were able to a. buy a car and b. move in with an SO, you should posses the ability to register a car and get insurance. Combined time is 20 min tops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your responses but to those talking about insurance fraud- step back pls

I have a European license and international license
I AM a licensed driver
I just don’t have the US license, which I’m working on, this is an emergency situation with stupid Covid
If not for Covid I would have gotten it back in March, in February I was starting all the paperwork , then got sick for 2 weeks, then my mom came for one week visit
Had I know dmv would be closed for 4 months I would have tortured myself sick to do it quickly

The point is he knew it was urgent
Said he would help me
I understand this is a tricky situation
But if he said yes I expected him to help me
I told him if no, that’s totally ok, I won’t break up over that
What I do what to break up is about the lake of talking to me and telling me he can’t do it
Why send me to his mom
Why make me move in and then not help me
He should have said no BEFORE I moved in

I’m looking for advice on how to proceed, not talk about the license

He flaked on me big times, it wasn’t a small issue for me, such as oh he forgot to feed the dog or forgot get dinner

This is a huge serious very important thing for me, that’s the only reason I’m so upset
So what wieso you guys do? Move out, let it slide, ...?

Ignore everyone who is being rude to you, OP.

If you can move out, I would. He sounds unreliable. If I needed help with paperwork and my bf got his mom to tell me no for him, I'd be pissed.

If you stay with him, stop helping out. Wives don't even take care of brothers, there's absolutely no reason for a girlfriend to.

+1 I would move out.

[Anonymous]

Move out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your responses but to those talking about insurance fraud- step back pls

I have a European license and international license
I AM a licensed driver
I just don’t have the US license, which I’m working on, this is an emergency situation with stupid Covid
If not for Covid I would have gotten it back in March, in February I was starting all the paperwork , then got sick for 2 weeks, then my mom came for one week visit
Had I know dmv would be closed for 4 months I would have tortured myself sick to do it quickly

The point is he knew it was urgent
Said he would help me
I understand this is a tricky situation
But if he said yes I expected him to help me
I told him if no, that’s totally ok, I won’t break up over that
What I do what to break up is about the lake of talking to me and telling me he can’t do it
Why send me to his mom
Why make me move in and then not help me
He should have said no BEFORE I moved in

I’m looking for advice on how to proceed, not talk about the license

He flaked on me big times, it wasn’t a small issue for me, such as oh he forgot to feed the dog or forgot get dinner

This is a huge serious very important thing for me, that’s the only reason I’m so upset
So what wieso you guys do? Move out, let it slide, ...?

Ignore everyone who is being rude to you, OP.

If you can move out, I would. He sounds unreliable. If I needed help with paperwork and my bf got his mom to tell me no for him, I'd be pissed.

If you stay with him, stop helping out. Wives don't even take care of brothers, there's absolutely no reason for a girlfriend to.

+1 I would move out.

Yep she needs to find a new boyfriend who will break the law for her.

[Anonymous]

OP, what will you achieve by moving out? And will you stay in a relationship with him if you do?

It doesn’t make sense to move out only to move back in in a few months. I would focus on whether this person is the right one for me in the long run and make a decision based on that.

[Anonymous]

OP you are either codependent or taking advantage of him.

I've been married for 10 years, but I don't see this kind of "help" as assumed. If you help each other, great, but try to reduce your expectations and learn to rise to the occasion and figure life out yourself. Everyone will be happier.