BF failed to help me with something very important

[Anonymous]

You can’t count on him. Leave ASAP.

[Anonymous]

OP I think you thought that taking care of you in every way would just naturally come with you guys moving in together, which is the next level of a relationship.

Your boyfriend and his family are not quite showing it, and you already have people on this thread telling you that you are not the wife yet, to deserve special treatment So this is where you stand.

I think your concern is valid. It wasn't a misunderstanding, they were afraid of illegal moves in this case, but didn't want to accuse you of performing one, so they just left it to resolve itself (or you to resolve it). I think there's a cultural difference playing a role here and it will happen again.

My advice would be to never mention it again, stop doing things for his family as if you are now part of it. Act just like a girlfriend (a little hard since you already live together). Be very self sufficient. Give him another few months or a year max. You'll be able to see that quick if he's a waste of your time.

[Anonymous]

Multiple "mind yous" in the post. Always a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your responses but to those talking about insurance fraud- step back pls

I have a European license and international license
I AM a licensed driver
I just don’t have the US license, which I’m working on, this is an emergency situation with stupid Covid
If not for Covid I would have gotten it back in March, in February I was starting all the paperwork , then got sick for 2 weeks, then my mom came for one week visit
Had I know dmv would be closed for 4 months I would have tortured myself sick to do it quickly

The point is he knew it was urgent
Said he would help me
I understand this is a tricky situation
But if he said yes I expected him to help me
I told him if no, that’s totally ok, I won’t break up over that
What I do what to break up is about the lake of talking to me and telling me he can’t do it
Why send me to his mom
Why make me move in and then not help me
He should have said no BEFORE I moved in

I’m looking for advice on how to proceed, not talk about the license

He flaked on me big times, it wasn’t a small issue for me, such as oh he forgot to feed the dog or forgot get dinner

This is a huge serious very important thing for me, that’s the only reason I’m so upset
So what wieso you guys do? Move out, let it slide, ...?

[Anonymous]

I’m getting a bad vibe here, op… from you.
Why do you need his help to fill out routine paperwork? Are you doing something illegal? Is something wrong with you where routine paperwork is more difficult, and if so why didn’t you say this in your initial post?

I’m also not a fan of you doing things for his family expecting to get anything back. You don’t have to date this guy, live with this guy, or marry this guy, but you also shouldn’t do things for his family expecting anything in return. Do things because you love the people, or be up front and not do things if it is too much for you.

I get the sense that you are doing things for his family because you are up to no good and are using the brother’s condition to mask your true intentions, the same way that some though not all nurses use nursing to have access to drugs or some but certainly not all use youth activities to abuse children.

Much as you don’t want to hear it, I’m on team boyfriend here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting a bad vibe here, op… from you.
Why do you need his help to fill out routine paperwork? Are you doing something illegal? Is something wrong with you where routine paperwork is more difficult, and if so why didn’t you say this in your initial post?

I’m also not a fan of you doing things for his family expecting to get anything back. You don’t have to date this guy, live with this guy, or marry this guy, but you also shouldn’t do things for his family expecting anything in return. Do things because you love the people, or be up front and not do things if it is too much for you.

I get the sense that you are doing things for his family because you are up to no good and are using the brother’s condition to mask your true intentions, the same way that some though not all nurses use nursing to have access to drugs or some but certainly not all use youth activities to abuse children.

Much as you don’t want to hear it, I’m on team boyfriend here.

Pls go see a doctor
It’s a pandemic I needed help from my bf, I thought we are taking the next step together
I already feel embarrassed and ashamed for even having to ask him before I moved in
Stuff happens
I’m not doing anything illegal
It’s the opposite, I’m trying hard to do it legally but can’t riggt now bc of dmv
I got an appointment in early September to go there to start the license

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting a bad vibe here, op… from you.
Why do you need his help to fill out routine paperwork? Are you doing something illegal? Is something wrong with you where routine paperwork is more difficult, and if so why didn’t you say this in your initial post?

I’m also not a fan of you doing things for his family expecting to get anything back. You don’t have to date this guy, live with this guy, or marry this guy, but you also shouldn’t do things for his family expecting anything in return. Do things because you love the people, or be up front and not do things if it is too much for you.

I get the sense that you are doing things for his family because you are up to no good and are using the brother’s condition to mask your true intentions, the same way that some though not all nurses use nursing to have access to drugs or some but certainly not all use youth activities to abuse children.

Much as you don’t want to hear it, I’m on team boyfriend here.

I helped his brother bc I love his family!!!! His parents are 70 with a l big man to take care of in wheelchair
I felt bad bc they didn’t want strangers in the house during pandemic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here
I was unemployed with no income for 4 months during Covid, I finally found a new job and had to buy a new car and needed help with registering the car, insurance and stuff
Nothing too crazy
It might not look like a big deal, but to me this was VERY important as I needed the car ASAP and he knew about this for months and he acknowledged the issue and said he would help me
I don’t want to go into too much detail about it

You’re a moron

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Multiple "mind yous" in the post. Always a red flag.

You always suspicious of foreigners or just when you're anonymous? How rich is you vocabulary in foreign languages?

[Anonymous]

You are unlicensed and shouldn’t be buying a car.

[Anonymous]

This is a huge serious very important thing for me, that’s the only reason I’m so upset
So what wieso you guys do? Move out, let it slide, ...?

Why are you even asking people who are not on your side? You know your answer. And you know that this is how he and his family see the world. You think it's going to change?
It won't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Multiple "mind yous" in the post. Always a red flag.

You always suspicious of foreigners or just when you're anonymous? How rich is you vocabulary in foreign languages?

Suspicious of anyone who delays simple paperwork for a week with a relative visiting as an excuse. Reminds me of the career counseling I do for people who tell me after our third meeting that they only need one more week to finish working on their resume.

[Anonymous]

1) The DMVs were open that first week after schools shut down. And even for two weeks before that, we were all aware that COVID was coming. You had indicators, but didn’t prioritize this.

2) Who owns the car? The person who owns the car has to carry the insurance for the car. Is your boyfriend on the title?

3) Your boyfriend should check with his insurance company anyway, because some insurers require live-ins to be listed as drivers on the policy. This could be the hang-up, because you are living in the US, without a valid drivers license, and driving the car that your boyfriend is trying to insure.

4) Stop paying for home improvements for a home you do not own.

5) It’s really immature on his part to have his mom break this news to you, unless the conversation was between the three of you, and Mom has some specialized knowledge (like she works in insurance or something).

[Anonymous]

It wasn’t him not helping you that would be my issue. It was the way he backed out that would be a problem.

It sounds like he told his mom about his plan to add you to his insurance, and she told him it wasn’t a good idea (and it’s not. No offense to you, but...nope). Instead of him telling you this, he got his MOM to tell you. That is the red flag. The insurance thing is absolutely something you can and should do on your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Multiple "mind yous" in the post. Always a red flag.

You always suspicious of foreigners or just when you're anonymous? How rich is you vocabulary in foreign languages?

Suspicious of anyone who delays simple paperwork for a week with a relative visiting as an excuse. Reminds me of the career counseling I do for people who tell me after our third meeting that they only need one more week to finish working on their resume.

Well, it's not as simple as it is for you who's native language is English. So delaying something that's hard(er) is not suspicious or a red flag in any way.