Woman of color who prefers white men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am a black woman that is married to a white man, and all I can say is that your post is offensive, and you need to expand your world view and/or life experience, as they both come across as embarrassingly shallow.

Sometimes the truth can be offensive but nonetheless it's the truth. You didn't marry a black man either yet you criticize OP for not wanting to do so. She's honest, you're disingenuous.

Nope, sometimes it's the perceived truth (stereotypes) that are offensive. And I didn't marry a white man because of my preference for white men, I married him because of my preference for him. He is also tall, yet that does not mean that I have a preference for tall men. To me, the physical attributes of men are just surface level things. I get that people have cultural differences and cultural preferences, but the thing is, black men across the country and across the world have VARYING cultures, not simply the stereotypical issues that she presented here. That's why I said to expand her world view/experience. There is not ONE "black culture".

Don't be obtuse. It is very obvious that the posts in question are referring to American black men. Did you really think the OP was about Masai men in Kenya?

How many generations does it take before an immigrant family is considered American?

Well, how many?

Start your own thread, my dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Pakistani woman with an all American southern white man. He cannot believe he used to date whit girls before. He says they are awful and do not know how to be women. And they suck in bed.

He sounds like a real winner.

[Anonymous]

This is why people are suspect of interracial relationships. It leads one to question if the relationship is based on true love or if it's based on a racial hang up or self hatred. Op just love your husband and don't use it to bash black men. Marrying someone white doesn't mean you're going to live a happier or more perfect life. You sound like some of those angry black men that bash black women talking about their preference. The other poster who said those are words of a hurt person is right. Obviously some black man hurt you and now you are bitter. I told a young black man I know the same thing. He likes to bash black women, but I know for a fact he is hurting over his ex. Move on from whatever happened, otherwise I forsee failure for your future marriage.

[Anonymous]

The other side to this coin are black men who won't date black women. I am thinking of one specifically, a Harvard law grad. He said when he was broke black women didn't want him, poked fun at his old dirty car, and his non-cool clothes. So now that he's fat pockets, they are all over him but, he's #unbothered. I guess that means all black women (including OP) are gold diggers, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Pakistani woman with an all American southern white man. He cannot believe he used to date whit girls before. He says they are awful and do not know how to be women. And they suck in bed.

Keep telling yourself that, honey. No white woman wanted him so he is now spewing all that nonsense about them to make himself feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is about race. Black American males have a disproportionately dysfunctional upbringing and that manifests itself in various ways. Attributing the bad behavior to racism doesn't erase the bad behavior. A thug is a thug even if the reason they became a thug was a poor uobringing due to the history of racism. At some point black men will have to take responsibility for own behavior despite the history of racism. Pretending black male behavior is fine and calling OP a racist for pointing out her personal experiences with black men won't change the bad behavior which they need to do if they are sincere about actually wanting women like OP to date black men ratber than.just insukt her.

I agree 110%! Your post really captures what has been bothering me about the constant denial of black men's antisocial behavior: Even if it is due to the legacy of slavery or segregation or daddy never loving them, what does that have to do with the women who have to deal with black men? Should we sacrifice ourselves on the altar of PC by choosing men who will never make good husbands and fathers? That is what a lot of black women do, with disastrous consequences for them and their children. There is a real misogyny in thinking that is okay.

NP here. It does make it very difficult as an educated black woman in her 40s to find eligible black men. There's a lot of damaged souls out there. And like you said, even if I completely understand the circumstance they were born into, it just doesn't hold up as an excuse for what can be some pretty awful behavior.

With children off the table, I was prepared to date white men. It just hasn't happened for me...yet. Loving black men is a lot of work. You can invest the time and do the work, but he will always know there's a line of black women willing to (most happily) deal with his shit. It makes it very difficult.

I have no idea where my heart will lead me. I just wanted to acknowledge the truth of your words.

Thank you for being honest. DC, NYC, Atlanta, and most big cities are full of black women in your position, yet the liars in this thread would pretend otherwise. I work with a huge variety of smart, beautiful black women of various shades, backgrounds, personalities, body shapes etc. They are all united by their terrible experiences dating black men. Every other demographic of woman in my workplace is married or engaged by 32ish, but the black women are overwhelmingly not married and have no prospects in sight. The black men are trying to date three, four, or more women at a time and can't be bothered to treat any of their girlfriends decently. This is real life and a lot has been written on how common this is among American black people. But if you, as a black woman, decide to opt out, the backlash is swift and suddenly no one knows what you are talking about. Everything is peachy keen and every black woman they know is married to a faithful, gorgeous black neurosurgeon!

I somewhat agree with this. Black men do have lots of options if they are educated and have their stuff together. Unfortunately black males lag in college education and employment, not to mention high incarceration rates. So for those who want a black man, they may have to settle. I once had a black guy who is an accountant in DC tell me he found it hard to be faithful and settle down because he had women all over him constantly. It is true that a black men who looks good and has a good job plus education, has his pick of women for the most part. I think it's important that black women open up to dating other races of men if they want to get married, also it takes some of the competition away for these men. I have two white girlfriends that love black men, that's all they date. Both have kids by black men, neither have ever been married and are constantly being played but all they want is a black guy. So it doesn't just affect black women. Now, there are some wonderful black men who are loyal, faithful, and believe in marriage but it's just not a priority as a whole for this group in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Pakistani woman with an all American southern white man. He cannot believe he used to date whit girls before. He says they are awful and do not know how to be women. And they suck in bed.

Keep telling yourself that, honey. No white woman wanted him so he is now spewing all that nonsense about them to make himself feel better.

I guess we sure no white women wanted him. I guess we give no the benefit of the doubt that he telling the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Pakistani woman with an all American southern white man. He cannot believe he used to date whit girls before. He says they are awful and do not know how to be women. And they suck in bed.

Keep telling yourself that, honey. No white woman wanted him so he is now spewing all that nonsense about them to make himself feel better.

I guess we sure no white women wanted him. I guess we give no the benefit of the doubt that he telling the truth.

I guess we sure someone needs to take some English classes (or go hang out on the nanny forums).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Pakistani woman with an all American southern white man. He cannot believe he used to date whit girls before. He says they are awful and do not know how to be women. And they suck in bed.

Keep telling yourself that, honey. No white woman wanted him so he is now spewing all that nonsense about them to make himself feel better.

I guess we sure no white women wanted him. I guess we give no the benefit of the doubt that he telling the truth.

I guess we sure someone needs to take some English classes (or go hang out on the nanny forums).

I wonder who wanted this PP bitch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Pakistani woman with an all American southern white man. He cannot believe he used to date whit girls before. He says they are awful and do not know how to be women. And they suck in bed.

Keep telling yourself that, honey. No white woman wanted him so he is now spewing all that nonsense about them to make himself feel better.

Actually he's had 2 long term relationships with white girls.

[Anonymous]

Ladies, Can everyone please quit trying to one-up each other and quit make racial stereotypes and insult? Men do not tear us down nearly as much as we destroy each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why people are suspect of interracial relationships. It leads one to question if the relationship is based on true love or if it's based on a racial hang up or self hatred. Op just love your husband and don't use it to bash black men. Marrying someone white doesn't mean you're going to live a happier or more perfect life. You sound like some of those angry black men that bash black women talking about their preference. The other poster who said those are words of a hurt person is right. Obviously some black man hurt you and now you are bitter. I told a young black man I know the same thing. He likes to bash black women, but I know for a fact he is hurting over his ex. Move on from whatever happened, otherwise I forsee failure for your future marriage.

At least five people have already made your exact post almost word for word. Sock puppets? Or maybe you just can't read?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is about race. Black American males have a disproportionately dysfunctional upbringing and that manifests itself in various ways. Attributing the bad behavior to racism doesn't erase the bad behavior. A thug is a thug even if the reason they became a thug was a poor uobringing due to the history of racism. At some point black men will have to take responsibility for own behavior despite the history of racism. Pretending black male behavior is fine and calling OP a racist for pointing out her personal experiences with black men won't change the bad behavior which they need to do if they are sincere about actually wanting women like OP to date black men ratber than.just insukt her.

I agree 110%! Your post really captures what has been bothering me about the constant denial of black men's antisocial behavior: Even if it is due to the legacy of slavery or segregation or daddy never loving them, what does that have to do with the women who have to deal with black men? Should we sacrifice ourselves on the altar of PC by choosing men who will never make good husbands and fathers? That is what a lot of black women do, with disastrous consequences for them and their children. There is a real misogyny in thinking that is okay.

NP here. It does make it very difficult as an educated black woman in her 40s to find eligible black men. There's a lot of damaged souls out there. And like you said, even if I completely understand the circumstance they were born into, it just doesn't hold up as an excuse for what can be some pretty awful behavior.

With children off the table, I was prepared to date white men. It just hasn't happened for me...yet. Loving black men is a lot of work. You can invest the time and do the work, but he will always know there's a line of black women willing to (most happily) deal with his shit. It makes it very difficult.

I have no idea where my heart will lead me. I just wanted to acknowledge the truth of your words.

Thank you for being honest. DC, NYC, Atlanta, and most big cities are full of black women in your position, yet the liars in this thread would pretend otherwise. I work with a huge variety of smart, beautiful black women of various shades, backgrounds, personalities, body shapes etc. They are all united by their terrible experiences dating black men. Every other demographic of woman in my workplace is married or engaged by 32ish, but the black women are overwhelmingly not married and have no prospects in sight. The black men are trying to date three, four, or more women at a time and can't be bothered to treat any of their girlfriends decently. This is real life and a lot has been written on how common this is among American black people. But if you, as a black woman, decide to opt out, the backlash is swift and suddenly no one knows what you are talking about. Everything is peachy keen and every black woman they know is married to a faithful, gorgeous black neurosurgeon!

I somewhat agree with this. Black men do have lots of options if they are educated and have their stuff together. Unfortunately black males lag in college education and employment, not to mention high incarceration rates. So for those who want a black man, they may have to settle. I once had a black guy who is an accountant in DC tell me he found it hard to be faithful and settle down because he had women all over him constantly. It is true that a black men who looks good and has a good job plus education, has his pick of women for the most part. I think it's important that black women open up to dating other races of men if they want to get married, also it takes some of the competition away for these men. I have two white girlfriends that love black men, that's all they date. Both have kids by black men, neither have ever been married and are constantly being played but all they want is a black guy. So it doesn't just affect black women. Now, there are some wonderful black men who are loyal, faithful, and believe in marriage but it's just not a priority as a whole for this group in my experience.

Ok, well then maybe a better (less derogatory) way to phrase it would be that it's not that black men are (fill in the blank negative attribute), but rather that so far you personally have had better luck with white men.

[Anonymous]

I've no luck with black or white men. My husband is Asian. But this is based on what I've observed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Pakistani woman with an all American southern white man. He cannot believe he used to date whit girls before. He says they are awful and do not know how to be women. And they suck in bed.

Keep telling yourself that, honey. No white woman wanted him so he is now spewing all that nonsense about them to make himself feel better.

I guess we sure no white women wanted him. I guess we give no the benefit of the doubt that he telling the truth.

I guess we sure someone needs to take some English classes (or go hang out on the nanny forums).

Lmao. All this because people just can't stay on topic. People, this thread is not about your anger towards those who date interracially or your need to police their reasons. If you are not a woman of color who dates interracially or someone who can discuss that topic intelligently and without bitterness, please go get a life.