How to handle family funeral while in the process of of converting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully you didn’t convert in support of the genocide.

I think the conversion is likely a childish rebellion to stick it to her family. If this was my sibling, about to use my kid’s funeral to pull an attention grabbing stunt, I would hire security to bar her from entering the church. Not today, the day of my child’s funeral to act out like this.

OP here. I owe you nothing about why I'm converting. You know nothing about my desire to. But spoiler alert, it has nothing to do with "sticking it to my family." What a weird take.

And you seem SO confident I'm going to get up on the altar and talk about myself that you'd probably bet on it.

Well, let me know when you do so I can make a counter bet. You are the odd one, friend..

NP. You are conducting yourself very oddly for someone who has a close relative with a dead toddler. It's almost enough for us to suspect trolling.

Does that mean she should be forced to take communion? Let’s stick to the subject.

It’s a small sacrifice given the loss her family is enduring. It’s a bit of unleavened bread. But if’s curious that suddenly it’s a big issue when OP says she hasn’t been practicing for years.

It is not a bit of unleavened bread. To a believer, it is the literal body of Christ. You may not believe in that, but many Catholics have died to protect it. It isn’t something you disrespect because your mom is pushy.

To a believer, it has meaning. To a non-believer, it's a piece of leavened bread. Given that we've established that there is no Communion police, it doesn't matter what OP decides, provided OP doesn't make a thing of whatever she chooses, as that would look like she's attention-seeking instead of a supportive family member. The only bad outcome I can see is if OP makes the funeral about her, instead of being quiet in the background and letting people grieve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mother will judge you for being a Jew. Let her start now. You won't be a Christmas and Easter Catholic, you ARE a non-Catholic.

Can you talk to a priest who can help your parents deal with their angst over your no longer being Catholic?

I think you cross your arms at the rail, not goin up the aisle.

“Rail?” Where are you going to Church?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully you didn’t convert in support of the genocide.

I think the conversion is likely a childish rebellion to stick it to her family. If this was my sibling, about to use my kid’s funeral to pull an attention grabbing stunt, I would hire security to bar her from entering the church. Not today, the day of my child’s funeral to act out like this.

OP here. I owe you nothing about why I'm converting. You know nothing about my desire to. But spoiler alert, it has nothing to do with "sticking it to my family." What a weird take.

And you seem SO confident I'm going to get up on the altar and talk about myself that you'd probably bet on it.

Well, let me know when you do so I can make a counter bet. You are the odd one, friend..

NP. You are conducting yourself very oddly for someone who has a close relative with a dead toddler. It's almost enough for us to suspect trolling.

Does that mean she should be forced to take communion? Let’s stick to the subject.

It’s a small sacrifice given the loss her family is enduring. It’s a bit of unleavened bread. But if’s curious that suddenly it’s a big issue when OP says she hasn’t been practicing for years.

I guess you don’t understand what it is like to be someone who actually takes religion seriously. Catholic communion is not something you do to be polite, like using the right fork. It’s a big deal.

I’m pretty sure everyone would understand. Unless you think God is vengeful and petty.

You think forcing a Jew to take Communion is OK? Seriously? Are you listening to yourself? (Not OP btw). Yes God would understand. No, unless you literally fancy yourself the Grand Inquisitor, do you have the right to force that on someone.

OP isn’t a Jew.

OP is in the middle of converting to Judaism AND actual Catholic rules would not permit her to take communion.

There will be no communion police at the funeral and no priest would care.

Any decent priest would care a great deal about protection of the sacrament he was ordained to confect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully you didn’t convert in support of the genocide.

I think the conversion is likely a childish rebellion to stick it to her family. If this was my sibling, about to use my kid’s funeral to pull an attention grabbing stunt, I would hire security to bar her from entering the church. Not today, the day of my child’s funeral to act out like this.

OP here. I owe you nothing about why I'm converting. You know nothing about my desire to. But spoiler alert, it has nothing to do with "sticking it to my family." What a weird take.

And you seem SO confident I'm going to get up on the altar and talk about myself that you'd probably bet on it.

Well, let me know when you do so I can make a counter bet. You are the odd one, friend..

NP. You are conducting yourself very oddly for someone who has a close relative with a dead toddler. It's almost enough for us to suspect trolling.

Does that mean she should be forced to take communion? Let’s stick to the subject.

It’s a small sacrifice given the loss her family is enduring. It’s a bit of unleavened bread. But if’s curious that suddenly it’s a big issue when OP says she hasn’t been practicing for years.

I guess you don’t understand what it is like to be someone who actually takes religion seriously. Catholic communion is not something you do to be polite, like using the right fork. It’s a big deal.

I’m pretty sure everyone would understand. Unless you think God is vengeful and petty.

God is neither vengeful nor petty, but as St. Paul discusses in detail, inappropriate reception of the Eucharist can lead to condemnation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully you didn’t convert in support of the genocide.

I think the conversion is likely a childish rebellion to stick it to her family. If this was my sibling, about to use my kid’s funeral to pull an attention grabbing stunt, I would hire security to bar her from entering the church. Not today, the day of my child’s funeral to act out like this.

OP here. I owe you nothing about why I'm converting. You know nothing about my desire to. But spoiler alert, it has nothing to do with "sticking it to my family." What a weird take.

And you seem SO confident I'm going to get up on the altar and talk about myself that you'd probably bet on it.

Well, let me know when you do so I can make a counter bet. You are the odd one, friend..

NP. You are conducting yourself very oddly for someone who has a close relative with a dead toddler. It's almost enough for us to suspect trolling.

Does that mean she should be forced to take communion? Let’s stick to the subject.

It’s a small sacrifice given the loss her family is enduring. It’s a bit of unleavened bread. But if’s curious that suddenly it’s a big issue when OP says she hasn’t been practicing for years.

I guess you don’t understand what it is like to be someone who actually takes religion seriously. Catholic communion is not something you do to be polite, like using the right fork. It’s a big deal.

I’m pretty sure everyone would understand. Unless you think God is vengeful and petty.

You think forcing a Jew to take Communion is OK? Seriously? Are you listening to yourself? (Not OP btw). Yes God would understand. No, unless you literally fancy yourself the Grand Inquisitor, do you have the right to force that on someone.

OP isn’t a Jew.

OP is in the middle of converting to Judaism AND actual Catholic rules would not permit her to take communion.

There will be no communion police at the funeral and no priest would care.

Any decent priest would care a great deal about protection of the sacrament he was ordained to confect.

That assumes the priest knows, which doesn’t apply in thie case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully you didn’t convert in support of the genocide.

I think the conversion is likely a childish rebellion to stick it to her family. If this was my sibling, about to use my kid’s funeral to pull an attention grabbing stunt, I would hire security to bar her from entering the church. Not today, the day of my child’s funeral to act out like this.

OP here. I owe you nothing about why I'm converting. You know nothing about my desire to. But spoiler alert, it has nothing to do with "sticking it to my family." What a weird take.

And you seem SO confident I'm going to get up on the altar and talk about myself that you'd probably bet on it.

Well, let me know when you do so I can make a counter bet. You are the odd one, friend..

NP. You are conducting yourself very oddly for someone who has a close relative with a dead toddler. It's almost enough for us to suspect trolling.

Does that mean she should be forced to take communion? Let’s stick to the subject.

It’s a small sacrifice given the loss her family is enduring. It’s a bit of unleavened bread. But if’s curious that suddenly it’s a big issue when OP says she hasn’t been practicing for years.

I guess you don’t understand what it is like to be someone who actually takes religion seriously. Catholic communion is not something you do to be polite, like using the right fork. It’s a big deal.

I’m pretty sure everyone would understand. Unless you think God is vengeful and petty.

You think forcing a Jew to take Communion is OK? Seriously? Are you listening to yourself? (Not OP btw). Yes God would understand. No, unless you literally fancy yourself the Grand Inquisitor, do you have the right to force that on someone.

OP isn’t a Jew.

OP is in the middle of converting to Judaism AND actual Catholic rules would not permit her to take communion.

There will be no communion police at the funeral and no priest would care.

Any decent priest would care a great deal about protection of the sacrament he was ordained to confect.

That assumes the priest knows, which doesn’t apply in thie case.

Nice try, but “caring” implies knowing and the implication of the quoted post is that the priest would not care despite knowing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully you didn’t convert in support of the genocide.

I think the conversion is likely a childish rebellion to stick it to her family. If this was my sibling, about to use my kid’s funeral to pull an attention grabbing stunt, I would hire security to bar her from entering the church. Not today, the day of my child’s funeral to act out like this.

OP here. I owe you nothing about why I'm converting. You know nothing about my desire to. But spoiler alert, it has nothing to do with "sticking it to my family." What a weird take.

And you seem SO confident I'm going to get up on the altar and talk about myself that you'd probably bet on it.

Well, let me know when you do so I can make a counter bet. You are the odd one, friend..

NP. You are conducting yourself very oddly for someone who has a close relative with a dead toddler. It's almost enough for us to suspect trolling.

Does that mean she should be forced to take communion? Let’s stick to the subject.

It’s a small sacrifice given the loss her family is enduring. It’s a bit of unleavened bread. But if’s curious that suddenly it’s a big issue when OP says she hasn’t been practicing for years.

I guess you don’t understand what it is like to be someone who actually takes religion seriously. Catholic communion is not something you do to be polite, like using the right fork. It’s a big deal.

I’m pretty sure everyone would understand. Unless you think God is vengeful and petty.

You think forcing a Jew to take Communion is OK? Seriously? Are you listening to yourself? (Not OP btw). Yes God would understand. No, unless you literally fancy yourself the Grand Inquisitor, do you have the right to force that on someone.

OP isn’t a Jew.

OP is in the middle of converting to Judaism AND actual Catholic rules would not permit her to take communion.

There will be no communion police at the funeral and no priest would care.

Any decent priest would care a great deal about protection of the sacrament he was ordained to confect.

That assumes the priest knows, which doesn’t apply in thie case.

Nice try, but “caring” implies knowing and the implication of the quoted post is that the priest would not care despite knowing.

By what authority do you speak for priests?

[Anonymous]

It's a small cracker that tastes like cardboard, not human (or godly) flesh. Just eat it.

[Anonymous]

Can’t you just say you didn’t go to confession recently so can’t receive communion, or whatever other reasonable excuse doesn’t involve discussing your religious beliefs. A funeral is not the place to discuss religious conversion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

As some have picked up, I am trying to strike a balance between two religious worlds, while also trying to be respectful to my sister most especially during this incredibly difficult time for her.

Unfortunately my parents, specifically my mother has done exactly what someone else said, like "so and so didn't get communion" and "they are C&E Catholics" and totally judge them for it all.

So I hate that I have to think this way to try and ward off my own mother and father..

I do plan to go up with arms crossed because I feel as though sitting back in the pew would be much more glaring and would probably incite questioning later.

Oh spare us the “strike a balance between two religious worlds” pseudo sanctimonious bullshit. You don’t care about the religious aspect about this at all. You just wanna stick it in the eye of your mother.

OP here.

Dude, respectfully STEP OFF.

You have this delusion that I'm all about trying to get back at my mother. And that's why I'm converting and that's why I'm gonna make a SCENE at my niece's funeral..

GTFO and go harass someone else..

Doth protests too much.

We know the game you’re playing.

[Anonymous]

God isn't stupid. If you take the wafer out of respect for your family, you may have sinned. But it's not a sin you care about, so it doesn't matter

If the priest chooses to not give you a wafer, it's not your problem. If the priest chooses to give you a wafer, it's not your problem. If God judges you, it's not your problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God isn't stupid. If you take the wafer out of respect for your family, you may have sinned. But it's not a sin you care about, so it doesn't matter

If the priest chooses to not give you a wafer, it's not your problem. If the priest chooses to give you a wafer, it's not your problem. If God judges you, it's not your problem.

If her mother gets mad because she doesn’t take communion that is also not her problem. Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can’t you just say you didn’t go to confession recently so can’t receive communion, or whatever other reasonable excuse doesn’t involve discussing your religious beliefs. A funeral is not the place to discuss religious conversion.

No. Catholics don't actually do confession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im sorry for your loss.

If you think it would make your family feel better so see you go up, I would walk up at communion and cross your arms across your chest and receive a blessing, just like kids who haven't gotten their first communion do.

If anyone says anything about it I would respond with something to the effect of "I'm here to support my sister, not discuss my faith."

+1000000

Great line.

PP to add something. My mother picked a fight with me at my uncle (her little brother's) funeral. It was about a long-standing point of contention between us that had been long at a stalemate, nothing new or interesting or inflammatory happened or anything. It was just as I was leaving, all of a sudden, she's going off at me about this thing. It was such a crappy way to end an already crappy day.

I was so angry with her about that as I was driving home - and then I realized something. Sadness is a really difficult, exhausting emotion. Sitting in sadness all day, after a week of sadness, is so, so hard. She needed a break from sadness, and chose anger, and I was an easy target. I rebranded that brief blow up as a favor to her. She got to spend a couple hours being mad at me. A break from the sadness. In an odd way, a gift to her. So I just totally let it go.

If one of your relatives decides to give you a really hard time about not taking communion, don't take the bait, defuse, step away. And try and think of it that way - a gift to someone who needed to fixate on SOMETHING that was not the tragic death of a four year old.

Hugs to you and your family.

This is such an incredible way to look at a situation. Thank you for sharing it. It actually applies in so many situations where someone is under extreme stress. I am going to tuck this in my back pocket and remember it the next time someone lashes out.

As for advice to the OP. As others have said head up to Communion with everyone else. If you are sitting near your parents try and make sure they go up before you. Then they won't be able to see that you get a blessing at the last moment. And if questioned go back to the mantra of being there to support your sister. Not the time or place to discuss my faith choices.

[Anonymous]

This is such a wacky thread.

There's one of two possibilities here. If you truly believe Catholic mythology, then the cracker turns into human flesh, and communion is cannibalism.

Alternatively, its just tasteless, unleavened bread, in which case you're making far too of a deal over it.