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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Im sorry for your loss.

If you think it would make your family feel better so see you go up, I would walk up at communion and cross your arms across your chest and receive a blessing, just like kids who haven't gotten their first communion do.

If anyone says anything about it I would respond with something to the effect of "I'm here to support my sister, not discuss my faith."

[/quote]

+1000000

Great line. [/quote]

PP to add something. My mother picked a fight with me at my uncle (her little brother's) funeral. It was about a long-standing point of contention between us that had been long at a stalemate, nothing new or interesting or inflammatory happened or anything. It was just as I was leaving, all of a sudden, she's going off at me about this thing. It was such a crappy way to end an already crappy day.

I was so angry with her about that as I was driving home - and then I realized something. Sadness is a really difficult, exhausting emotion. Sitting in sadness all day, after a week of sadness, is so, so hard. She needed a break from sadness, and chose anger, and I was an easy target. I rebranded that brief blow up as a favor to her. She got to spend a couple hours being mad at me. A break from the sadness. In an odd way, a gift to her. So I just totally let it go.

If one of your relatives decides to give you a really hard time about not taking communion, don't take the bait, defuse, step away. And try and think of it that way - a gift to someone who needed to fixate on SOMETHING that was not the tragic death of a four year old.

Hugs to you and your family. [/quote]

This is such an incredible way to look at a situation. Thank you for sharing it. It actually applies in so many situations where someone is under extreme stress. I am going to tuck this in my back pocket and remember it the next time someone lashes out.

As for advice to the OP. As others have said head up to Communion with everyone else. If you are sitting near your parents try and make sure they go up before you. Then they won't be able to see that you get a blessing at the last moment.  And if questioned go back to the mantra of being there to support your sister. Not the time or place to discuss my faith choices. [/quote]

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