Is this gross or am I prude?

[Anonymous]

You are a prude. When everyone is a consenting adult, who cares? I am a guy. When I was 24, I dated a 40 year old woman. It was a fling and it was hot, absolutely nobody was a victim. I was not "groomed."

Just because some women here are not attracted to younger men does not make an older person "yucky" for dating a younger adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so silly, if it was a 50-year-old woman dating a 28 year old you’d all be gushing about how empowered she was and how incredible that she didn’t care about societal norms, then a number of you will talk about how you need a 28 year old to keep up with your raging libido.

Flip the genders and you’ve got predator, flip them back and you’re Susan B Anthony.

Just to add, I think there is a distinction between a 20 year age gap with the younger person being around 25+, and a 20 year age gap where the person is 19/20/21. Whether male or female, the prefrontal cortex doesn’t fully develop until 25. This is the part of the brain that moderates decision making, impulsivity, long term planning, personality expression etc…

It’s one thing is if two young adults are growing up together around this age, but when you have one 40 year old with a 20 year old it’s more often than not just off.

I get that occasionally some people just click and are great partners. Ok then, but the vast majority of people who serially date people 20 years younger than they are and the younger person is basically a baby adult are absolutely targeting their age. That is a little creepy. There are just as many attractive, fun, whatever people eligible for dating that have fully developed brains and are 26, 26, 27.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is my take. I am a guy BTW (and not dating). Socially accepted age gap: 10 years of age. Upper limit (can be uncomfortable to some): 15 years.
20 years and above: gross as age gap approaches to parent and child

The socially acceptable age gap is shrinking. Gen Z calls even a 32 yr old trying to hook up with a college student “grooming.” Obviously I think that’s silly but that’s the way things are moving.

They say that online. That’s not how they act on the dating apps.

They say on dating apps “dating old men is socially acceptable”?

They’re down for the sneaky link. Sometimes I’m introduced to friends but not always.

So you agree with me. Alright then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so silly, if it was a 50-year-old woman dating a 28 year old you’d all be gushing about how empowered she was and how incredible that she didn’t care about societal norms, then a number of you will talk about how you need a 28 year old to keep up with your raging libido.

Flip the genders and you’ve got predator, flip them back and you’re Susan B Anthony.

[/quote
Uh absolutely not. That’s as gross as the flipped genders. And by the way when they’re the same genders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are a prude. When everyone is a consenting adult, who cares? I am a guy. When I was 24, I dated a 40 year old woman. It was a fling and it was hot, absolutely nobody was a victim. I was not "groomed."

Just because some women here are not attracted to younger men does not make an older person "yucky" for dating a younger adult.

Grooming is a real thing. You may or may not have been groomed most victims of grooming never realize it.

And yes it does make the older person yucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so silly, if it was a 50-year-old woman dating a 28 year old you’d all be gushing about how empowered she was and how incredible that she didn’t care about societal norms, then a number of you will talk about how you need a 28 year old to keep up with your raging libido.

Flip the genders and you’ve got predator, flip them back and you’re Susan B Anthony.


Uh absolutely not. That’s as gross as the flipped genders. And by the way when they’re the same genders.

I totally agree. Female groomers often get a pass but that doesn’t make grooming less gross and wrong. I’m not one to say that a woman doing something is as bad as a man doing something but women can 100% be predators too, which is sad because it contributes to the stigma against men and boys who have been sexually abused by women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so silly, if it was a 50-year-old woman dating a 28 year old you’d all be gushing about how empowered she was and how incredible that she didn’t care about societal norms, then a number of you will talk about how you need a 28 year old to keep up with your raging libido.

Flip the genders and you’ve got predator, flip them back and you’re Susan B Anthony.


Uh absolutely not. That’s as gross as the flipped genders. And by the way when they’re the same genders.

I totally agree. Female groomers often get a pass but that doesn’t make grooming less gross and wrong. I’m not one to say that a woman doing something is as bad as a man doing something but women can 100% be predators too, which is sad because it contributes to the stigma against men and boys who have been sexually abused by women.

Sorry to be clear I don’t think it’s necessarily abuse for somebody much older to be with somebody much younger, but It does bring up the same problems that cause some to think that men and boys can’t be victims.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a prude. When everyone is a consenting adult, who cares? I am a guy. When I was 24, I dated a 40 year old woman. It was a fling and it was hot, absolutely nobody was a victim. I was not "groomed."

Just because some women here are not attracted to younger men does not make an older person "yucky" for dating a younger adult.

Grooming is a real thing. You may or may not have been groomed most victims of grooming never realize it.

And yes it does make the older person yucky.

Your statement here reduces the agency of adults to children. Young adults have enough agency to sign up for the military and be trained to kill other people. Yet those same young adults lack the agency to engage in a consensual relationship with another, older adult? That position is absurd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is worse than Trumpland

Agree completely.

The people of DCUMAD are appointing themselves the judges and deciding whether to accept how other adults choose between themselves how to love.

Should “we” allow inter-generational love? Should we condemn it? Judge it?



You people are disgusting!!

I mean, no one's saying it should be illegal. We are allowed to express our opinions that gross things are gross

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a prude. When everyone is a consenting adult, who cares? I am a guy. When I was 24, I dated a 40 year old woman. It was a fling and it was hot, absolutely nobody was a victim. I was not "groomed."

Just because some women here are not attracted to younger men does not make an older person "yucky" for dating a younger adult.

Grooming is a real thing. You may or may not have been groomed most victims of grooming never realize it.

And yes it does make the older person yucky.

Your statement here reduces the agency of adults to children. Young adults have enough agency to sign up for the military and be trained to kill other people. Yet those same young adults lack the agency to engage in a consensual relationship with another, older adult? That position is absurd.

The current trend is to think of people younger than 25 as not fully having the agency of an adult. I think your view is going to look outdated and gross in the coming decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a prude. When everyone is a consenting adult, who cares? I am a guy. When I was 24, I dated a 40 year old woman. It was a fling and it was hot, absolutely nobody was a victim. I was not "groomed."

Just because some women here are not attracted to younger men does not make an older person "yucky" for dating a younger adult.

Grooming is a real thing. You may or may not have been groomed most victims of grooming never realize it.

And yes it does make the older person yucky.

Your statement here reduces the agency of adults to children. Young adults have enough agency to sign up for the military and be trained to kill other people. Yet those same young adults lack the agency to engage in a consensual relationship with another, older adult? That position is absurd.

The current trend is to think of people younger than 25 as not fully having the agency of an adult. I think your view is going to look outdated and gross in the coming decades.

So a 23 year old shouldn't be able to vote, serve on a jury, or join the military? What is a decision of greater import; choosing to have consensual sex with a 40-year-old or sitting on a jury that decides to convict or acquit a person charged with murder? I remember being 23, I was not a child. Were you just wandering around like a babe in the woods during your early 20s, incapable of making any adult decisions?

[Anonymous]

Drool/spit is gross. Age differences between adults doesn't really bother me so much, but drool is just nasty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a prude. When everyone is a consenting adult, who cares? I am a guy. When I was 24, I dated a 40 year old woman. It was a fling and it was hot, absolutely nobody was a victim. I was not "groomed."

Just because some women here are not attracted to younger men does not make an older person "yucky" for dating a younger adult.

Grooming is a real thing. You may or may not have been groomed most victims of grooming never realize it.

And yes it does make the older person yucky.

Your statement here reduces the agency of adults to children. Young adults have enough agency to sign up for the military and be trained to kill other people. Yet those same young adults lack the agency to engage in a consensual relationship with another, older adult? That position is absurd.

The current trend is to think of people younger than 25 as not fully having the agency of an adult. I think your view is going to look outdated and gross in the coming decades.

So a 23 year old shouldn't be able to vote, serve on a jury, or join the military? What is a decision of greater import; choosing to have consensual sex with a 40-year-old or sitting on a jury that decides to convict or acquit a person charged with murder? I remember being 23, I was not a child. Were you just wandering around like a babe in the woods during your early 20s, incapable of making any adult decisions?

When I was 14, I was legally old enough to consent to sex, and old enough to get a job in my state. Today, a 14 year old can still get a job, but they cannot consent to sex. That is the current trend.

When I was 23 I was just out of college and naive about many things. I suffered sexual harassment at work from a client. I’m guessing he wisely guessed so young and inexperienced a girl wouldn’t report him, and I didn’t. That’s how age gaps work. The older person has the power.

I don’t think we are going to move the age of consent up to 25 or anything like that, but I do think age gaps are becoming more stigmatized.