How to marry a financially compatible man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

A lot of people don’t care about making large sums of money. Take your advice and shove it.

Guys who don’t care about making a good living should marry ladies alike not me.

Don’t worry, no one is going to marry you.

My FB makes 0.5mm as AC systems installer, a first generation immigrant from El Salvador. He has 5 rental properties in dmv area and a higher net worth than me. He wants us to marry but he’s 7 years younger and not fluent in English. He never read a book only technical manuals for his job. I am not interested in marrying or even publicity dating him .
So no, there are guys who would totally marry me but I just look for a whole package with education and wealth

Was this from the OP? Did everybody just miss this post? How are some of you still responding to this troll?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I assumed so but OP just confirmed it- she is a first gen immigrant. You are all looking at this through an American lens. OP are you Eastern European by chance?

Yes, i am but what difference does it make?

Because this is a cultural thing. The American posters on here are giving you a hard time because they come from a completely different cultural mindset. This is a very normal approach to Eastern European women. People don't get that.

I am one of the very prominent posters in this thread and I myself have an Eastern European background and do not think this way. None of my family thinks this way including the rich ones.

Are you first gen? Because unless you are your opinion is moot.

I am not but my family is married into first gen…. And they do not think like you. Thank God. The way you think is an absolute liability to anybody with money. You’re not 20 years younger and you have nothing to offer. Not find anybody below the age of 52 or 53 would be remotely interested in you and your materialistic and snobby attitude. Guess what? you’re in the United States. Man with money and especially divorce men wanna protect their assets they don’t want to spend the money on you. Keep Wasting your money at the country club because honestly that is your best bet to find somebody are looking for. Vast majority of men in their 40s are married and the ones who have a lot of money or not gonna be interested in dating you might as well go 52+

Why should I want to spend her money then on any man? I think exactly how you describe all men think about it and for some reason I am judged and they are not. Its some sort of 'men power", right? If there is such a thing, I would rather stay single and have a FB. And I totally can offer the same things as women in their 20-30s besides the youth. I still can have children, can be an equal partner, supportive of his career etc. Certainly more things to discuss for a 40yo man with me than with a 20 y.o. Oh, and please dont tell me all these men dating 20 yo women want to remarry. They typically remarry to women slightly younger or their age with something behind their belt. And the men dating 20 y.o. is not my focus of interest

The very point of your post is that you wanted to get remarried again or have a long-term relationship. Now you’re backpedaling. Fact of the matter is is that I am the exact same age as you and I know my limitations. I’m not looking to remarry and I don’t have ridiculous expectations of a rich man wanting to be with somebody divorced with kids. You have an attitude that is extremely materialistic and I cannot see how any man remotely interested in tying themselves to somebody like you. Stay single and get an FWB because chances of you finding someone with your criteria who is of a similar age is less than 1%. Your expectations would be ridiculous at age 28 and you’re beyond ridiculous at age 43.

I don't consider my net worth or income "rich". Literally all my neighbors are similar incomes/couples usually. Not sure I would want to take on another dependent in my age.

You are rich and you live in a bubble and you will not find what you’re looking for

[Anonymous]

OP is a troll, drawing out DCUM’s favorite myth, that peers don’t prefer to date peers. Fact is men AND women generally date people with similar ages (yes, ages) education levels and net worths. I don’t know why DCUMers love to perpetuate myths on this topic.

[Anonymous]

Unicorns do not exist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

You are not very driven either. 450k joint is good enough for a 300k single lifestyle.

I dont know, it depends on his profession. If its some interesting area like phD/researcher types but a fed with 170K salary will be a hard no. These are types I would not have much in common.

Hey Siri where of your ridiculous salary expectations fed attorneys on the GS 15 scale top out at 176K

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

You are not very driven either. 450k joint is good enough for a 300k single lifestyle.

I dont know, it depends on his profession. If its some interesting area like phD/researcher types but a fed with 170K salary will be a hard no. These are types I would not have much in common.

Hey Siri where of your ridiculous salary expectations fed attorneys on the GS 15 scale top out at 176K

And that's ok. They question is why they are fine continuing making 176k and not investing/doing side hustles. It's easy, fun and enables you not be dependent on a job 9-5, travel, afford more things for kids etc. I do travel to Alaska, Cote d'Azure, Italy and many other nice places couple times/year . I have travel budget of around 40k/year and it's important for me to see the world with my son and my parents. For a combined family income of 300K (2 feds) one cannot afford it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

You are not very driven either. 450k joint is good enough for a 300k single lifestyle.

I dont know, it depends on his profession. If its some interesting area like phD/researcher types but a fed with 170K salary will be a hard no. These are types I would not have much in common.

Hey Siri where of your ridiculous salary expectations fed attorneys on the GS 15 scale top out at 176K

And that's ok. They question is why they are fine continuing making 176k and not investing/doing side hustles. It's easy, fun and enables you not be dependent on a job 9-5, travel, afford more things for kids etc. I do travel to Alaska, Cote d'Azure, Italy and many other nice places couple times/year . I have travel budget of around 40k/year and it's important for me to see the world with my son and my parents. For a combined family income of 300K (2 feds) one cannot afford it

Correction here from OP: a combined income of 300K is fine for a single person or for 2 without college/private school obligations and one child. If it's 2-3 kids, then 300k joint income is not when you can travel several times/year, still make good 401k and college fund contributions and not count your groceries budget

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

You are not very driven either. 450k joint is good enough for a 300k single lifestyle.

I dont know, it depends on his profession. If its some interesting area like phD/researcher types but a fed with 170K salary will be a hard no. These are types I would not have much in common.

Hey Siri where of your ridiculous salary expectations fed attorneys on the GS 15 scale top out at 176K

And that's ok. They question is why they are fine continuing making 176k and not investing/doing side hustles. It's easy, fun and enables you not be dependent on a job 9-5, travel, afford more things for kids etc. I do travel to Alaska, Cote d'Azure, Italy and many other nice places couple times/year . I have travel budget of around 40k/year and it's important for me to see the world with my son and my parents. For a combined family income of 300K (2 feds) one cannot afford it

Who says they don’t invest or have side hustles? They do they’re not making that much more… those types will still not meet your minimum ridiculous qualifications and those types also don’t wanna waste money on a bunch of travel either. Don’t worry—you’re too materialistic for even those people to be interested in you let alone the very rich people. you can’t land one of these types that you find less than desirable so you might as well just get an FWB and stop looking or start looking 55+ You really need a reality check

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

You are not very driven either. 450k joint is good enough for a 300k single lifestyle.

I dont know, it depends on his profession. If its some interesting area like phD/researcher types but a fed with 170K salary will be a hard no. These are types I would not have much in common.

Hey Siri where of your ridiculous salary expectations fed attorneys on the GS 15 scale top out at 176K

And that's ok. They question is why they are fine continuing making 176k and not investing/doing side hustles. It's easy, fun and enables you not be dependent on a job 9-5, travel, afford more things for kids etc. I do travel to Alaska, Cote d'Azure, Italy and many other nice places couple times/year . I have travel budget of around 40k/year and it's important for me to see the world with my son and my parents. For a combined family income of 300K (2 feds) one cannot afford it

Who says they don’t invest or have side hustles? They do they’re not making that much more… those types will still not meet your minimum ridiculous qualifications and those types also don’t wanna waste money on a bunch of travel either. Don’t worry—you’re too materialistic for even those people to be interested in you let alone the very rich people. you can’t land one of these types that you find less than desirable so you might as well just get an FWB and stop looking or start looking 55+ You really need a reality check

I would presume these types would also have 2-3 kids and an ex-wife who doesn't make much money always asking for handouts. So basically remarrying them would impose on me 3-4 dependents. Why the heck would I want that? This is why I have the FB situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The longer your list, the slimmer the prospects.

I am not interested in a long term relationship or wasting time on incompatible men so if I get contacted once a month it’s ok. I am almost at peace staying single for the rest of my life but if someone similar to me comes forward I will hear him

You will “hear him?” Who are you, the empress? I imagine this attitude of yours turns men off, big time.

I mean, if I meet someone who is compatible I will invest in this relationship. Women waste so much time in marriages with incompatible men! I don’t want to fall into this trap

Didn’t you already fall into that trap once?

Not really. My exH cheated for years but didn’t file for divorce as financially he didn’t want to break the marriage. I realized marriage couldn’t work with 3 people in it. But I don’t regret my financial trajectory in former marriage, or all that travels, good times we had, having my child. I got a lot from my marriage

You don't say. I can't imagine what prompted him to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

You are not very driven either. 450k joint is good enough for a 300k single lifestyle.

I dont know, it depends on his profession. If its some interesting area like phD/researcher types but a fed with 170K salary will be a hard no. These are types I would not have much in common.

Hey Siri where of your ridiculous salary expectations fed attorneys on the GS 15 scale top out at 176K

And that's ok. They question is why they are fine continuing making 176k and not investing/doing side hustles. It's easy, fun and enables you not be dependent on a job 9-5, travel, afford more things for kids etc. I do travel to Alaska, Cote d'Azure, Italy and many other nice places couple times/year . I have travel budget of around 40k/year and it's important for me to see the world with my son and my parents. For a combined family income of 300K (2 feds) one cannot afford it

Who says they don’t invest or have side hustles? They do they’re not making that much more… those types will still not meet your minimum ridiculous qualifications and those types also don’t wanna waste money on a bunch of travel either. Don’t worry—you’re too materialistic for even those people to be interested in you let alone the very rich people. you can’t land one of these types that you find less than desirable so you might as well just get an FWB and stop looking or start looking 55+ You really need a reality check

I would presume these types would also have 2-3 kids and an ex-wife who doesn't make much money always asking for handouts. So basically remarrying them would impose on me 3-4 dependents. Why the heck would I want that? This is why I have the FB situation

Dodd you are presumptuous. I’m the one who said my ex wouldn’t be interested in you… I make slightly more than him. You can’t get him even so why do you think you can get a super rich guy? The only place you’re going to find one is at the country club Who is 55+ because all the desirable ones that you want are still married you have a very thick skull and don’t understand reality

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The longer your list, the slimmer the prospects.

I am not interested in a long term relationship or wasting time on incompatible men so if I get contacted once a month it’s ok. I am almost at peace staying single for the rest of my life but if someone similar to me comes forward I will hear him

You will “hear him?” Who are you, the empress? I imagine this attitude of yours turns men off, big time.

I mean, if I meet someone who is compatible I will invest in this relationship. Women waste so much time in marriages with incompatible men! I don’t want to fall into this trap

Didn’t you already fall into that trap once?

Not really. My exH cheated for years but didn’t file for divorce as financially he didn’t want to break the marriage. I realized marriage couldn’t work with 3 people in it. But I don’t regret my financial trajectory in former marriage, or all that travels, good times we had, having my child. I got a lot from my marriage

You don't say. I can't imagine what prompted him to do that.

You can't. His GF is his new business partner. He was very similar to me in fact which is why it worked for so long. He was not the initiator of the divorce I just couldn't tolerate his philandering anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

You are not very driven either. 450k joint is good enough for a 300k single lifestyle.

I dont know, it depends on his profession. If its some interesting area like phD/researcher types but a fed with 170K salary will be a hard no. These are types I would not have much in common.

Hey Siri where of your ridiculous salary expectations fed attorneys on the GS 15 scale top out at 176K

And that's ok. They question is why they are fine continuing making 176k and not investing/doing side hustles. It's easy, fun and enables you not be dependent on a job 9-5, travel, afford more things for kids etc. I do travel to Alaska, Cote d'Azure, Italy and many other nice places couple times/year . I have travel budget of around 40k/year and it's important for me to see the world with my son and my parents. For a combined family income of 300K (2 feds) one cannot afford it

Who says they don’t invest or have side hustles? They do they’re not making that much more… those types will still not meet your minimum ridiculous qualifications and those types also don’t wanna waste money on a bunch of travel either. Don’t worry—you’re too materialistic for even those people to be interested in you let alone the very rich people. you can’t land one of these types that you find less than desirable so you might as well just get an FWB and stop looking or start looking 55+ You really need a reality check

I would presume these types would also have 2-3 kids and an ex-wife who doesn't make much money always asking for handouts. So basically remarrying them would impose on me 3-4 dependents. Why the heck would I want that? This is why I have the FB situation

Dodd you are presumptuous. I’m the one who said my ex wouldn’t be interested in you… I make slightly more than him. You can’t get him even so why do you think you can get a super rich guy? The only place you’re going to find one is at the country club Who is 55+ because all the desirable ones that you want are still married you have a very thick skull and don’t understand reality

Can't you just stop talking about your exH and how I would not be worthy him? I don't even know him, or want to know. Why didn't you stay with him yourself, if he was so "desirable"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

You are not very driven either. 450k joint is good enough for a 300k single lifestyle.

I dont know, it depends on his profession. If its some interesting area like phD/researcher types but a fed with 170K salary will be a hard no. These are types I would not have much in common.

Hey Siri where of your ridiculous salary expectations fed attorneys on the GS 15 scale top out at 176K

And that's ok. They question is why they are fine continuing making 176k and not investing/doing side hustles. It's easy, fun and enables you not be dependent on a job 9-5, travel, afford more things for kids etc. I do travel to Alaska, Cote d'Azure, Italy and many other nice places couple times/year . I have travel budget of around 40k/year and it's important for me to see the world with my son and my parents. For a combined family income of 300K (2 feds) one cannot afford it

Who says they don’t invest or have side hustles? They do they’re not making that much more… those types will still not meet your minimum ridiculous qualifications and those types also don’t wanna waste money on a bunch of travel either. Don’t worry—you’re too materialistic for even those people to be interested in you let alone the very rich people. you can’t land one of these types that you find less than desirable so you might as well just get an FWB and stop looking or start looking 55+ You really need a reality check

I would presume these types would also have 2-3 kids and an ex-wife who doesn't make much money always asking for handouts. So basically remarrying them would impose on me 3-4 dependents. Why the heck would I want that? This is why I have the FB situation

Dodd you are presumptuous. I’m the one who said my ex wouldn’t be interested in you… I make slightly more than him. You can’t get him even so why do you think you can get a super rich guy? The only place you’re going to find one is at the country club Who is 55+ because all the desirable ones that you want are still married you have a very thick skull and don’t understand reality

Can't you just stop talking about your exH and how I would not be worthy him? I don't even know him, or want to know. Why didn't you stay with him yourself, if he was so "desirable"?

I’m not saying he’s desirable but he’s an average person in the area that you cannot even land because you are too materialistic. I’m the one who left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

You are not very driven either. 450k joint is good enough for a 300k single lifestyle.

I dont know, it depends on his profession. If its some interesting area like phD/researcher types but a fed with 170K salary will be a hard no. These are types I would not have much in common.

Hey Siri where of your ridiculous salary expectations fed attorneys on the GS 15 scale top out at 176K

And that's ok. They question is why they are fine continuing making 176k and not investing/doing side hustles. It's easy, fun and enables you not be dependent on a job 9-5, travel, afford more things for kids etc. I do travel to Alaska, Cote d'Azure, Italy and many other nice places couple times/year . I have travel budget of around 40k/year and it's important for me to see the world with my son and my parents. For a combined family income of 300K (2 feds) one cannot afford it

Who says they don’t invest or have side hustles? They do they’re not making that much more… those types will still not meet your minimum ridiculous qualifications and those types also don’t wanna waste money on a bunch of travel either. Don’t worry—you’re too materialistic for even those people to be interested in you let alone the very rich people. you can’t land one of these types that you find less than desirable so you might as well just get an FWB and stop looking or start looking 55+ You really need a reality check

I would presume these types would also have 2-3 kids and an ex-wife who doesn't make much money always asking for handouts. So basically remarrying them would impose on me 3-4 dependents. Why the heck would I want that? This is why I have the FB situation

Dodd you are presumptuous. I’m the one who said my ex wouldn’t be interested in you… I make slightly more than him. You can’t get him even so why do you think you can get a super rich guy? The only place you’re going to find one is at the country club Who is 55+ because all the desirable ones that you want are still married you have a very thick skull and don’t understand reality

Can't you just stop talking about your exH and how I would not be worthy him? I don't even know him, or want to know. Why didn't you stay with him yourself, if he was so "desirable"?

I’m not saying he’s desirable but he’s an average person in the area that you cannot even land because you are too materialistic. I’m the one who left.

And yet won't stop talking about him.