Couples in your 40s and 50s - how often (s**)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no s** for over 3 years. DH got cancer and I got the vibrator.

If you were my wife, I wouldn’t be happy about doing it, but I would definitely encourage you find a lover.
My wife is so beautiful when she is having sex, I could never deny her that. Even if I dont get to witness it which I probably wouldn’t.

This is heavy. You sound like a loving husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no s** for over 3 years. DH got cancer and I got the vibrator.

If you were my wife, I wouldn’t be happy about doing it, but I would definitely encourage you find a lover.
My wife is so beautiful when she is having sex, I could never deny her that. Even if I dont get to witness it which I probably wouldn’t.

You say that until you see it happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no s** for over 3 years. DH got cancer and I got the vibrator.

If you were my wife, I wouldn’t be happy about doing it, but I would definitely encourage you find a lover.
My wife is so beautiful when she is having sex, I could never deny her that. Even if I dont get to witness it which I probably wouldn’t.

That is very unselfish of you, but if I were your wife, and loved you the way I love my husband, I would not be willing to take you up on that offer. I have no desire to be intimate with anyone other than my husband, besides the fact that it would feel like such a huge betrayal of him in his time of illness and vulnerability that I just couldn’t live with myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no s** for over 3 years. DH got cancer and I got the vibrator.

If you were my wife, I wouldn’t be happy about doing it, but I would definitely encourage you find a lover.
My wife is so beautiful when she is having sex, I could never deny her that. Even if I dont get to witness it which I probably wouldn’t.

This is heavy. You sound like a loving husband.

No, that is ridiculous. Just divorce and be friends if he feels so inclined to let her get a sex partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, 2x a week at your age is really high although if you aren't satisfied, it's worth a conversation. Although fair warning, I have had many of those conversations and we never can get past 2x a month, on a great month.

Some lucky couples out there but for most of us long term monogamy is tough to deal with.

OP here. All these comments have been very interesting. I think part of the issue is I'm always initiating. I get told no a fair bit. So sometimes I get fed up and see how long it takes for him. We've had these conversations where I'll say, I'm available and willing any time. Because it's tiresome to hear no a lot. Reasons are he's tired, he's up late watching TV, he had a tough day, etc. If I don't initiate a week or more goes by.

[Anonymous]

43 and DH is 46, sex 3-4 times a week. It wasn’t always like this but picked up during the pandemic. Have 3 kids: 6, 12 & 14

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no s** for over 3 years. DH got cancer and I got the vibrator.

If you were my wife, I wouldn’t be happy about doing it, but I would definitely encourage you find a lover.
My wife is so beautiful when she is having sex, I could never deny her that. Even if I dont get to witness it which I probably wouldn’t.

That is very unselfish of you, but if I were your wife, and loved you the way I love my husband, I would not be willing to take you up on that offer. I have no desire to be intimate with anyone other than my husband, besides the fact that it would feel like such a huge betrayal of him in his time of illness and vulnerability that I just couldn’t live with myself.

PP here, this is what my says also. But I could never be the one responsible for having sex again. Would put me into serious depression. She is a great person, too good of woman and too amazing of a lover to not enjoy that anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no s** for over 3 years. DH got cancer and I got the vibrator.

If you were my wife, I wouldn’t be happy about doing it, but I would definitely encourage you find a lover.
My wife is so beautiful when she is having sex, I could never deny her that. Even if I dont get to witness it which I probably wouldn’t.

That is very unselfish of you, but if I were your wife, and loved you the way I love my husband, I would not be willing to take you up on that offer. I have no desire to be intimate with anyone other than my husband, besides the fact that it would feel like such a huge betrayal of him in his time of illness and vulnerability that I just couldn’t live with myself.

PP here, this is what my says also. But I could never be the one responsible for having sex again. Would put me into serious depression. She is a great person, too good of woman and too amazing of a lover to not enjoy that anymore.

But for most people, sex doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Sex for me would not be enjoyable with anyone but the person I love. So I would have no interest in having sex with anyone but my husband, as long as he is still alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, 2x a week at your age is really high although if you aren't satisfied, it's worth a conversation. Although fair warning, I have had many of those conversations and we never can get past 2x a month, on a great month.

Some lucky couples out there but for most of us long term monogamy is tough to deal with.

OP here. All these comments have been very interesting. I think part of the issue is I'm always initiating. I get told no a fair bit. So sometimes I get fed up and see how long it takes for him. We've had these conversations where I'll say, I'm available and willing any time. Because it's tiresome to hear no a lot. Reasons are he's tired, he's up late watching TV, he had a tough day, etc. If I don't initiate a week or more goes by.

Wait for menopause then you’ll be on the same page.

[Anonymous]

Anybody have it really good? 5X+ a week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no s** for over 3 years. DH got cancer and I got the vibrator.

If you were my wife, I wouldn’t be happy about doing it, but I would definitely encourage you find a lover.
My wife is so beautiful when she is having sex, I could never deny her that. Even if I dont get to witness it which I probably wouldn’t.

This is heavy. You sound like a loving husband.

No, that is ridiculous. Just divorce and be friends if he feels so inclined to let her get a sex partner.

If you haven't loved a person with a disability, you're not qualified to comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no s** for over 3 years. DH got cancer and I got the vibrator.

If you were my wife, I wouldn’t be happy about doing it, but I would definitely encourage you find a lover.
My wife is so beautiful when she is having sex, I could never deny her that. Even if I dont get to witness it which I probably wouldn’t.

This is heavy. You sound like a loving husband.

No, that is ridiculous. Just divorce and be friends if he feels so inclined to let her get a sex partner.

If you haven't loved a person with a disability, you're not qualified to comment.

Having a spouse with a disability is not a free pass to go screwing others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no s** for over 3 years. DH got cancer and I got the vibrator.

If you were my wife, I wouldn’t be happy about doing it, but I would definitely encourage you find a lover.
My wife is so beautiful when she is having sex, I could never deny her that. Even if I dont get to witness it which I probably wouldn’t.

This is heavy. You sound like a loving husband.

No, that is ridiculous. Just divorce and be friends if he feels so inclined to let her get a sex partner.

If you haven't loved a person with a disability, you're not qualified to comment.

Having a spouse with a disability is not a free pass to go screwing others.

Who said it was a free pass?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no s** for over 3 years. DH got cancer and I got the vibrator.

If you were my wife, I wouldn’t be happy about doing it, but I would definitely encourage you find a lover.
My wife is so beautiful when she is having sex, I could never deny her that. Even if I dont get to witness it which I probably wouldn’t.

This is heavy. You sound like a loving husband.

No, that is ridiculous. Just divorce and be friends if he feels so inclined to let her get a sex partner.

If you haven't loved a person with a disability, you're not qualified to comment.

Apparently, able-bodied people have no moral insight on having sex with someone other than spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no s** for over 3 years. DH got cancer and I got the vibrator.

If you were my wife, I wouldn’t be happy about doing it, but I would definitely encourage you find a lover.
My wife is so beautiful when she is having sex, I could never deny her that. Even if I dont get to witness it which I probably wouldn’t.

This is heavy. You sound like a loving husband.

No, that is ridiculous. Just divorce and be friends if he feels so inclined to let her get a sex partner.

If you haven't loved a person with a disability, you're not qualified to comment.

Having a spouse with a disability is not a free pass to go screwing others.

Who said it was a free pass?

Oh, so do it in secret. That makes it better.