Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear LD Spouses,

Of course we HD spouses love you less. You won't make the effort for us. You reject us. And we know that if the roles were reversed you would never put up with this bull. We know that you know we won't leave you because of the children. How could we maintain the love when the lack of intimacy makes the relationship all about duty?

I am a woman.

Another woman here, and you are spot on.

Well, I am the LD woman, and luckily my husband doesn't feel this way. I've asked. I'll just go ahead and assume he's a better person than you and thank my lucky stars.

Go ahead and assume he's a better person, I really don't care. I'm not interested in living in a marriage that's a sexual wasteland to get brownie points for being good and patient. The more we talk, the more I realize that I should have married a man who is also HD.

And therein lies the gist of my title.

-OP

Anonymous wrote:"OP here. The same ting happened to us. I had a 2 week blitz of sex because we were TTC and it worked too well. Got pregnant the first cycle. Game . Set . Match."

Bait and switch.

Anonymous wrote:

Well, I am the LD woman, and luckily my husband doesn't feel this way. I've asked. I'll just go ahead and assume he's a better person than you and thank my lucky stars.

Go ahead and assume he's a better person, I really don't care. I'm not interested in living in a marriage that's a sexual wasteland to get brownie points for being good and patient. The more we talk, the more I realize that I should have married a man who is also HD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Hi, OP. Me again. Can you explain something to me? Why do men feel personally rejected when we don't want sex? I can't speak for your wife, but in my case there is NO ONE that I would go for when I don't want it. Like, George Clooney could be naked in my bedroom and I'd be all "George, go the fuck home." For me, I had the hardest time convincing DH that it's not that I don't want sex with YOU, it's that I just don't want sex right now, period. It seems like you guys really internalize this as a self esteem thing. Maybe HD women feel the same way, IDK.

And when that line is used all the time? What then?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Well, I am the LD woman, and luckily my husband doesn't feel this way. I've asked. I'll just go ahead and assume he's a better person than you and thank my lucky stars.

Go ahead and assume he's a better person, I really don't care. I'm not interested in living in a marriage that's a sexual wasteland to get brownie points for being good and patient. The more we talk, the more I realize that I should have married a man who is also HD.

To be fair to LD woman (though her defensive condescension doesn't entirely merit it), it's possible her husband is LD as well. If he's not...well, it's just hard to imagine that incompatibility in such a fundamental area of marriage won't ultimately reach a crisis point at some time in the marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Well, I am the LD woman, and luckily my husband doesn't feel this way. I've asked. I'll just go ahead and assume he's a better person than you and thank my lucky stars.

Go ahead and assume he's a better person, I really don't care. I'm not interested in living in a marriage that's a sexual wasteland to get brownie points for being good and patient. The more we talk, the more I realize that I should have married a man who is also HD.

To be fair to LD woman (though her defensive condescension doesn't entirely merit it), it's possible her husband is LD as well. If he's not...well, it's just hard to imagine that incompatibility in such a fundamental area of marriage won't ultimately reach a crisis point at some time in the marriage.

For me, we'd been together over 11 years, had two children, when I realized that my DH would never satisfy me in bed. That's when I gave myself permission to have a long term extramarital relationship. That relationship PREVENTED a crisis in my marriage.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. DW here, and I have 3 kids under 4. The amount of excuses being made for the wife here blows me away. I get that having young kids is so exhausting. I have a 3.5 year old, a 2 year old and a 7 month old. I totally understand. But sometimes, ladies, you have to "take one for the team." Are there times I would rather go to sleep? Sure. But it's important enough to me that my husband is satisfied (after all, he goes out of his way to "satisfy" me in other, non sexual ways) that I am perfectly fine with going for it even if I'm not in the mood sometimes. You know what always happens? I GET in the mood. I have fun. And we have an incredible, hot, sex life. Even with 3 little kids. Sex is important to men. That's how it is, and there's nothing wrong with it.

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks this whole "ld" "hd" thing is a little weird? Not the actual situations, but people wanting to give themselves those titles as if it were a sexual orientation?

To me it seems like desire waxes and wanes and is relative. A mature couple truly in love will find a way to meet in the middle so that nobody always feels deprived, and nobody always feels pressured. Mature people figure out a way.

I am not referring here to extreme situations, where a spouse decides never to have sex again. That is obviously a serious problem, and I don't think it actually has anything to do (often) with physical desire, but rather emotions. Bet you anything that supposed "ld" partner could get it up for a hot stranger. Or is gay. But the op's situation does not seem to describe this sort of extreme.

Anyway, thanking my lucky stars for my very sexual dh who has been incredibly understanding about my disappearing sex drive 4 months postpartum and struggling with ppd. Think I am gonna go give him a hand job. (See how that works?)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks this whole "ld" "hd" thing is a little weird? Not the actual situations, but people wanting to give themselves those titles as if it were a sexual orientation?

To me it seems like desire waxes and wanes and is relative. A mature couple truly in love will find a way to meet in the middle so that nobody always feels deprived, and nobody always feels pressured. Mature people figure out a way.

I am not referring here to extreme situations, where a spouse decides never to have sex again. That is obviously a serious problem, and I don't think it actually has anything to do (often) with physical desire, but rather emotions. Bet you anything that supposed "ld" partner could get it up for a hot stranger. Or is gay. But the op's situation does not seem to describe this sort of extreme.

Anyway, thanking my lucky stars for my very sexual dh who has been incredibly understanding about my disappearing sex drive 4 months postpartum and struggling with ppd. Think I am gonna go give him a hand job. (See how that works?)

Ugh. The "lucky stars" poster is one of the manipulators.

Anonymous wrote:... I was saying, I feel much more into sex when I feel emotionally understood and supported - no manipulation involved, just mutual respect and mutual desire to make each other happy, instead of making unilateral demands. See how that works?