Message
Anonymous wrote:
PP here:
If we had to go the family court route, I can easily proove I have always been the primary care giver of our children. When they were little, I put my career on hold to be with them full time. Now that they are older, my work schedule revolves around their schedule so I am the one who gets them to school, goes to parent teacher meetings, picks them up after school, and take them to their after school activities. Even if my husband was as vendictive as you, I don't think he would push the custody issue because he wouldn't want the responsibility or the change in his lifestyle. I have already checked out options with a divorce attorney and if I went that route there is stuff in husband's corner that I could strongly challenge/limit his access to the kids.
As others have indicated, our marriage isn't black and white and it is complicated why we remain married. An affair for me would be an escape, a way to find the affection I do not get in my marriage. If I found a man that could accept my situation for what it is and could be discrete, then I could easily see myself going forward with the affair.
Please let me be clear - I really wasnt trying to pick at you or your statement. I just posted one of the thoughts that popped in my head while reading your post and it actualy turned into a pretty interesting conversation!
I agree with you however that in some relationships, it is only something very small that is missing and if you can get that something elsewhere, and still maintain your personal responsibilities, then there are times when doing something like cheating can actually HELP the relationship.
Youre right. The hard part is finding someone in a similar situation, or at least someone who can respect and understand the situation.
Anonymous wrote:FBO wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thanks for all the reaffirmations. I guess to be honest I felt like it just wasn't my business and that I was really pushing my own values on others, and so was at fault. But it sounds like really, she's just really messed up and I need to not let that reflect on me. Thanks.
13:59, seriously, I would be concerned that a comment like that would land me in the hospital. I'm not a physical fighter.
Dont let others actions question your own personal resolve. Fight for what you believe to be right.
You are at fault, we are all at fault, if we just go back inside and mind our own business. I am serious.
I have to agree with this. I think this statement is a big reason why so many people are telling the OP to call someone about what happened.
But we are not all born fighters and sometimes it is hard for an individual to stand up like that. While I said I agree with this statement, I also give the OP credit for at least asking someone else their thoughts on the situation.
Your lawn, your rules. Tell him to get lost and mind his own business.
HOA? Check the rules because you may be held to that standard.
HOA? Check the rules because you may be held to that standard.
Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thanks for all the reaffirmations. I guess to be honest I felt like it just wasn't my business and that I was really pushing my own values on others, and so was at fault. But it sounds like really, she's just really messed up and I need to not let that reflect on me. Thanks.
13:59, seriously, I would be concerned that a comment like that would land me in the hospital. I'm not a physical fighter.
Dont let others actions question your own personal resolve. Fight for what you believe to be right.
Food for though - whats worse?
1. I hit my kid open palm and beat them until they cry - but leave NO mark.
or
2. I grab my kid by the elbow and drag him inside - and come to find out I ripped tendons, and left massive bruising on his arm.
Abuse does not always have to be a 'hit'. Both scenarios above are exactly the same.
1. I hit my kid open palm and beat them until they cry - but leave NO mark.
or
2. I grab my kid by the elbow and drag him inside - and come to find out I ripped tendons, and left massive bruising on his arm.
Abuse does not always have to be a 'hit'. Both scenarios above are exactly the same.
^^ Correct. And using kids as pawns in mommy & daddys sick game is just wrong. But it happens ALL the time.
Interesting debate though.
Interesting debate though.
Good replies here. Please take them to heart OP!
The swing. It was apparently the devil reincarnated to my kid.
Stick with your convictions and DO NOT let her shake you. You felt that what she was doing was wrong so dont pretend to her like it did not bother you.
My personal sloution would be to simply make sure I was open carrying anytime I was around those individuals but that may not work for you.
If she wants to make it an issue, then the next time she threatens you, call the cops and CPS and MAKE IT AN ISSUE.
My personal sloution would be to simply make sure I was open carrying anytime I was around those individuals but that may not work for you.
If she wants to make it an issue, then the next time she threatens you, call the cops and CPS and MAKE IT AN ISSUE.
Whats wrong with a size 10?
Synthetic lasts longer with less up-keep. But it costs more.
Bare Woods. Theres one in Chantilly but I think there are more in the area.
Are there really this many men out there who are fucking clueless on Mothers Day?
Anonymous wrote:
I agreed to live here for a few years (with my husband) and when we've saved up enough we are going to move back. Where it assumed that kids will attend weddings, where mothers with small children are moved to the front of lines automatically (because why make a mother with a baby wait), where pregnant women are automatically given a seat - and it's never a question, and, most important, where women don't attack each other for choices they make.
I feel sad for you here. You don't support each other - you fight. ALWAYS.
Shame on you.
Anonymous wrote:
So you think that having an affair indicates that a mother is generally irresponsible and can't be a good parent? The point is that the kid needs her mom. Sure, it's a crappy situation and people do it all the time but that doesn't make it right.
Of course I dont automatically assume that a cheating spouse cant be a good parent but then I have never been in that situation. What happens when emotions get involved and the other spouse feels that they have been greatly wronged?
Can you all really say that I am the only person that MIGHT have the thought of screwing over an ex that cheated on you through custody? Serisouly? I find that laughable and completly incorrect having seen and heard of so many peoples divorces and read so many stories here about how bad it was in the divorce and what can be done to make him/her pay. If the idea of me contemplating this scenario makes me a vindictive asshole then so be it; at least I can still be honest with myself.
