Looking for anonymous feedback from bad neighbor interaction

FBO
Member Location: NoVA
Offline
Anonymous wrote:
FBO wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Thanks for all the reaffirmations. I guess to be honest I felt like it just wasn't my business and that I was really pushing my own values on others, and so was at fault. But it sounds like really, she's just really messed up and I need to not let that reflect on me. Thanks.

13:59, seriously, I would be concerned that a comment like that would land me in the hospital. I'm not a physical fighter.


Dont let others actions question your own personal resolve. Fight for what you believe to be right.



You are at fault, we are all at fault, if we just go back inside and mind our own business. I am serious.


I have to agree with this. I think this statement is a big reason why so many people are telling the OP to call someone about what happened.

But we are not all born fighters and sometimes it is hard for an individual to stand up like that. While I said I agree with this statement, I also give the OP credit for at least asking someone else their thoughts on the situation.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:14:07, this is OP.

I promise you that if I had tried to intervene, alone with my toddler son, I would have been at risk for serious physical injury if not worse.

And really, I just think you need more than a threat to call CPS.


Quit worrying about CPS everyone, she needs to just call the police. They will take it from there.
Anonymous
OP, these people are crazy. To stand outside your door and scream at you? Shouldn't SHE be the one apologizing? Don't try to make nice with them. Just avoid them as much as possible. She sounds like a lunatic and I'm sorry you have to live near her.
Anonymous
Reading your original post made me cry, OP. Those poor little children. They have no choice but to live there with that woman all day everyday. No where to go and not old enough to do anything about it. Poor, poor babies.

I would also have CPS check it out. From what you wrote, that does sound like abuse to me. Wouldn't hurt to have it checked out. However, I can understand any fear you might have about repercussions after the police or CPS show up at this woman's house. I don't have any advice there. Best of luck and my thoughts are with those poor little boys who got a bad draw in the parent lottery. I'll hug my baby a little extra today.
Anonymous
Next time I would not go inside. I'd say that I am outside and I am watching, just like I would hope that someone watches to make sure my family is oky. That's what neighbors do. Just like that.

Put your child inside and stand outside of the house and make it clear you are watching. Haver your phone ready with 911 on the dial. If you need a neighborly hotline to stand together, then do it.

If someone could just watch out for the kid...
FBO
Member Location: NoVA
Offline
I hate to say this to the OP, but I really do not think this issue is over.

Anonymous
OP, in the moment, i would take myself and my child inside, lock the door, and call the police. Now that the event is over, I would make an anonymous call to CPS. Either way, I would not threaten to call the police or CPS in front of this woman, you do not want her to actually KNOW that you have done this. She may have suspicions after the authorities show up at her door, but it's better if she cannot directly link you to the call.
signed,
a social worker who has made many reports of abuse
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:14:07, this is OP.

I promise you that if I had tried to intervene, alone with my toddler son, I would have been at risk for serious physical injury if not worse.

And really, I just think you need more than a threat to call CPS.


You would have been at risk of serious harm, so you went inside - but it was OK to leave the toddler there, himself at risk of serious harm? Awesome. And which is it - either the real risk of harm, or just a threat which didn't require a call to the authorities? They seem mutually exclusive to me. If you were so scared for your safety, that absolutely requires a call to the cops.

OP, you cast this as "how do I make things right with the neighbors," remember:

I don't think it would go over well if I went and apologized. Honestly, I'm kind of scared she would physically assault me. But I don't want to have animosity with any neighbor. My thought is to just let it go and accept that they have problems, I messed up, and it's pretty much ruined. I wish I could somehow smooth things over, but it's hard. Any thoughts?
You're more concerned with your neighborhood relationships than doing the right thing. Again - you're awesome.
Anonymous
She pushed him down the stairs.

DOWN THE STAIRS.

What exactly are you waiting for? To see him fly out the window? That poor boy.

Call the DAMN police, THAT is what they are here for.

Anonymous
Op, what the hell is your problem?

There are issues here and you need to call CPS.
Anonymous
OP, i completely understand that it is easier said than done when taking action. I agree with others that this is probably not the end of it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:She pushed him down the stairs.

DOWN THE STAIRS.

What exactly are you waiting for? To see him fly out the window? That poor boy.

Call the DAMN police, THAT is what they are here for.



+1000. You were able to get yourself and your kid away from this erratic, violent woman. Those little boys were not so fortunate. You need to step up and protect them by calling the authorities.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
We had our slip n slide and pool out in the front yard and my toddler son was playing on it. The mom, aunt, father (?) and two young boys - preschool and toddler aged - came out. The aunt said she would take the boys on a bike ride. She put the older one on the handle bars and rode off with him. The younger started crying for his brother and the mom started to scream profanities at the top of her lungs at him and drug him into the house. The aunt came back and called into the house to see if the littlest boy wanted a ride. The woman came out and shoved the boy down the stairs, where he fell to the ground, and was shaking and sobbing. She again screamed (SCREAMED LOUD) profanities at him. The aunt swiftly scooped him up and rode him off, while trying to soothe him. They came back and stopped in the space between my house and our next door neighbor's house (the one between ours) and he was crying that he didn't want to be left with his mother. The aunt was explaining that she had to go to work and the mother came out and screamed again at him to get his ass back in the house before she beat it again. The aunt placed him on the ground and the boy went limp beside the bicycle. The mother came down and said she would count to 5. The boy did not respond. She counted to 5 and got a stick out of the road. At this point, I had already turned off the music and the water and was gathering up my son to take him inside, but also staring at them, terrified.

At this point, the mother looked at me and started yelling what are you looking at. I stated "I'm just taking my son inside" and she started yelling about how I need to mind my own business, and how if she wanted to beat her son's ass, I better stay out of it, but then she started saying things like "if you have a problem, I'll come in there and tear your ass up."

I did not respond to anything, but the second she started yelling, I turned and walked inside. She remained at my door screaming for a few more minutes, and then went back into her house. I came out and cleaned up and went back inside without seeing her again.


You have actually witnessed emotional and physical abuse by a parent on a child. You need to call the police and report this. In addition, you have been physically threatened by this woman while you were on your own property. In the future, I would take a baseball bat with me whenever I use my front lawn. If this woman yells at you again, merely tell her to please stay off your property. If she trespasses, you should defend yourself and your child with the baseball bat. Self-defense is advisable and there is ample justification because she has threatened you already. You need to report this to the police (not just CPS, let the police refer the case to CPS as necessary) so that it is on record that not only is she abusing her child but that she has threatened you. In cases like this, the police often need a history of offenses before they can take substantive action and you need to protect your family.

Also, as pointed out, someone needs to step in to help this child and you are the adult that witnessed these events. If the other adults in that household are willing to allow her to abuse the child this way, who else will stand up for this child? Be the responsible adult here and report the incident. She's already on the slippery slope to causing physical harm to the child. What will it take for you to protect this child? A broken limb? A punctured lung? A concussion? Brain damage? All of these and more (and worse) are common effects from the type of behavior that you witnessed. It's only a short distance between no injury and injury on a child of that age.

Please pick up the phone and call today.
Anonymous
Are you friendly with your other neighbors, and if so, what do they think? There was a family in my neighborhood in a really bad situation and whenever things got loud and crazy, a lot of neighbors would come out and watch. I know people were calling DYFS because the DYFS van was at the house all the time-not that they appeared to actually do anything. Making a call and/or being a witness are basically the only things you can do. With the mom and dad, I would just maintain an attitude of distant neutrality.
Anonymous
She told you that she would beat YOUR ass, in front of YOUR child, and you are feeling apologetic to HER? I haven't read the other responses, but you need to grow a pair. You've already laid the groundwork that you're a push-over and nothing good can come from that. Next time, get loud and tell her to mind HER business and that you'll look anywhere you want. It's the only way you get anywhere with bullies. And she's a bully. Picking on a kid, for God's sake.
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