Looking for anonymous feedback from bad neighbor interaction

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06/18/2012 13:46

Subject: Looking for anonymous feedback from bad neighbor interaction

Anonymous

So I had a terrible interaction with a neighbor and I'm feeling really torn about it. I'll explain what happened, then how I'm feeling. I'd like to hear what you're thinking about what to do now.

We had an elderly grandmother who lived two doors down. She passed and the house became occupied with a number of younger family members and their children. We have been generally cordial, but mostly there's been no communication one way or another (they aren't very open or social people and generally do not respond to our hellos).

We had our slip n slide and pool out in the front yard and my toddler son was playing on it. The mom, aunt, father (?) and two young boys - preschool and toddler aged - came out. The aunt said she would take the boys on a bike ride. She put the older one on the handle bars and rode off with him. The younger started crying for his brother and the mom started to scream profanities at the top of her lungs at him and drug him into the house. The aunt came back and called into the house to see if the littlest boy wanted a ride. The woman came out and shoved the boy down the stairs, where he fell to the ground, and was shaking and sobbing. She again screamed (SCREAMED LOUD) profanities at him. The aunt swiftly scooped him up and rode him off, while trying to soothe him. They came back and stopped in the space between my house and our next door neighbor's house (the one between ours) and he was crying that he didn't want to be left with his mother. The aunt was explaining that she had to go to work and the mother came out and screamed again at him to get his ass back in the house before she beat it again. The aunt placed him on the ground and the boy went limp beside the bicycle. The mother came down and said she would count to 5. The boy did not respond. She counted to 5 and got a stick out of the road. At this point, I had already turned off the music and the water and was gathering up my son to take him inside, but also staring at them, terrified.

At this point, the mother looked at me and started yelling what are you looking at. I stated "I'm just taking my son inside" and she started yelling about how I need to mind my own business, and how if she wanted to beat her son's ass, I better stay out of it, but then she started saying things like "if you have a problem, I'll come in there and tear your ass up."

I did not respond to anything, but the second she started yelling, I turned and walked inside. She remained at my door screaming for a few more minutes, and then went back into her house. I came out and cleaned up and went back inside without seeing her again.

On one hand, I feel really bad for creating a problem with my neighbor, and feeling embarrassed that I violated the sacred rule of MYOB. While I do not use spanking or switching, I know lots of parents do this and it's not my business. On the other, I felt it was deeply shocking right in front of my house and I was right to be appalled and she handled it terribly and should not have done what she did.

I saw her later and waved and looked very apologetic she rolled her eyes and stormed off. I saw her significant other and wished him a happy father's day and he mumbled something but then glared at my husband when my husband asked if their dog, who was in our yard, should be returned or if they wanted to take him with them (they were walking off) and they refused to respond.

I don't think it would go over well if I went and apologized. Honestly, I'm kind of scared she would physically assault me. But I don't want to have animosity with any neighbor. My thought is to just let it go and accept that they have problems, I messed up, and it's pretty much ruined. I wish I could somehow smooth things over, but it's hard. Any thoughts?