Want to leave DH for lover
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Anonymous
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Have been in a long term affair (3 years) with a wonderful man. He recently left his wife and wants to be with me "legitimately." I am so in love with him and very badly want to leave my DH. But I can't because my DH is a nice, loving partner. I just have no romantic feelings towards him and don't know that I ever really did. But that is another discussion and a mistake I made many moons ago. Also, I have kids. And while finances aren't an issue if we divorce, obviously it will tear their world apart going from a "seemingly" happy family to two houses.
Let this be a warning to others thinking about an affair, especially an emotional one (which most women seem to have), it isn't worth the heartache in the end. I am now keenly aware of what I'm missing and will miss my entire life. And for all those that say I'm just in the affair fog, nope, I'm not. I am not thinking all would be perfect with AP if we were "really" together, blending families would suck, learning to live with someone new would be annoying, etc. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| How old are your kids? |
Anonymous
| go for it. he could be your soulmate... lol |
Anonymous
| OP, you only live once and you need to live life for yourself. I would probably do it. How old are your kids? |
Anonymous
Kids are 7 and 9. |
Anonymous
And your kids only live once. You only get one shot to raise them. 
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Anonymous
| Do it. Sooner rather than later. DH deserves better and the kids will be ok. They may resent you, but better that than you resenting them. |
Anonymous
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oh please, the fun romance will die off once you have lived together for a few years
grow up |
Anonymous
Believe me, I am grown up. And I'm not saying their is lots of romance now between me and AP. But, I am an adult and know the difference between romantic love and platonic love. Why is it so hard to believe that someone can truly fall in love with someone else when they are married? |
Anonymous
| This seems incredibly selfish. You're willing to blow up your entire family for this. You admit that your DH is a "nice, loving partner" yet you are willing to throw him to the curb for someone else. Did you even try improving your own marriage or work on your own issues before going out and finding someone else? Marriage is not all sunshine and roses all of the time. You made a commitment and frankly, it sounds like your marriage isn't even bad. You just sound like an immature, bored housewife. |
Anonymous
Because most people have done it and it does not work out. |
Anonymous
| Poor you |
Anonymous
I am definitely not a housewife. And yes, we did work on our problems and went to counseling. Unfortunately for me it seems it was too late. I can't get those feelings back for him. |
taketothebank
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Not hard to believe at all.
First, think about how you feel once your XDH finds someone new. If you do not care, then make sure you can work out the money, timing, etc. of blending your new bf/DH into your life that must include your XDH. Most women think about how they will feel with their new man, and that is very important to consider. My advice is consider how you can make it work with your XDH. He will likely find someone new (i.e., realize now that he will not sit and wait by the window for you to come home after you tell him it is over) and that someone will become a part of your kids' lives. If you can live with these facts, then you are ready to make a break work. |