Is this an emotional affair?
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Anonymous
OP- sorry this happened while you were home with two young children. He should be doing more than just apologizing. Boundaries crossed with that attempted kiss. And with a colleague. That is messing with his career moving forward. Who else was in that Uber? And what if he "forgot" other physical acts? He did come clean but tell me what is acceptable to you now. And that includes never going out with just this woman, just the two of them together,especially for drinks. |
Anonymous
| Do you think it ever happens that the woman (married or not) kisses the married man, and takes him off-guard. I think that’s exceedingly rare, but I have heard of men claiming that when caught. |
Anonymous
Yeah, geez, forget about it. She’s 50 and he was drunk - forget about it. He must be embarrassed. Ask him how he’s going to show his face at work again though. |
Anonymous
Absolutely and not rare, but I don't think in this case. |
taketothebank
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We have a winner for best post so far. BTW - How far into the relationship with your XDW would he be sorry? Right off the bat or later when the boiling rabbit appears? |
Anonymous
| He has a drinking problem. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like OP hasn't been giving her DH enough sex. Better step it up so he's too exhausted to stray. |
Anonymous
She's had to learn to hide it better, but by 6 to 12 months she's doing worse things than boiling bunnies. |
Anonymous
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Maybe offer to forgive but ask that he do some reflecting and try to explain to you what he thinks is going on and if there are issues the two of you need to be addressing (putting aside this incident). It seems like it's a red flag for something that is wrong with him...whether it's too much booze, need for adventure in his life, mid-life crisis?
I wonder, if any of us got drunk enough, and we were having a fun time with a member of the opposite sex who is attractive and funny, would we act on some random urge? It's not like we get married and are then suddenly blind to judging attractiveness or incapable of having fun with people. But the alcohol and lack of inhibition that comes with it...well, I love my DH, still think he is sexy, we have a great relationship in and out of bedroom, and have no intention or desire to change our status. But I've never allowed myself to be in that kind of predicament and so I don't know if I or others who are equally faithful would fall prey? |
Anonymous
+2. Sounds like a celebration that got a little out of control, but nothing more. |
Anonymous
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I will add, it is probably a good sign that he was transparent with you about his behavior. Don’t fly off the handle too much; you also want him to trust coming to you with things like this. You know your husband and life better than any of us on the internet. Use wisdom, and don’t feel guilty about choosing to trust him, if that is what you decide to do.
If I were in your shoes, I would forgive, forget, and keep things on the up and up. There is a reason the thought crossed his mind. There is also a reason that he told you. Good luck |
Anonymous
| I’d be concerned that his kids was unwelcome — and that he could get in trouble at work as a result. |
Anonymous
| Trickle truth. That was the best answer. Yes, even if it’s not an affair, it’s inappropriate and needs to stop. |
Anonymous
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OP- what did you do/say?
Did he say how he is going to deal with his co-worker tomorrow? |
Anonymous
| It’s also possible she had him in the friend zone and he tried to kiss her like a moron. (Dear men, just because we’re nice to you doesn’t mean we want to have sex with you). Blame is with husband. |