Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was excellent - and a good topic for all us parental devotees on DCUM.

http://qz.com/273255/how-american-parenting-is-killing-the-american-marriage/


"The origins of the parenthood religion are obscure, but one of its first manifestations may have been the “baby on board” placards that became popular in the mid-1980s. Nobody would have placed such a sign on a car if it were not already understood by society that the life of a human achieves its peak value at birth and declines thereafter. A toddler is almost as precious as a baby, but a teenager less so, and by the time that baby turns fifty, it seems that nobody cares much anymore if someone crashes into her car. You don’t see a lot of vehicles with placards that read, “Middle-aged accountant on board.”

No, but you do see a lot of vehicles with stick-figure families (plus pets) on the back.

stick figure families are the most annoying things ever but this article was quite interesting and fun to read! "That guy at the office who everyone thinks is a jerk was a kid once upon a time, and there’s a pretty good chance that his parents also noticed that he could be a jerk. They just weren’t allowed to say so". Totally agree with this..."

Back to the article, I think one of the main issues is that a lot of people identify as "mom","dad" once they have children and base their entire identity on parenthood. It’s no longer enough that women love their children. To be a truly committed parent, women are expected to be mothers above all else. It means that women are expected to be everything, and give up anything, or their children. Whatever women do that seems to separate them from “true” motherhood is seen as misguided, or at worst, selfish. If we formula-feed we’re not giving our babies the best start in life. If we work outside the home, we must do it with tremendous guilt and anxiety. Time away from our children in the form of an occasional movie or hobby is seen as a treat rather than an expected part of living a full life. This is why a lot of moms feel like they are not enough or worse, spiral to depression...

Anonymous wrote:

Muslima wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Muslima wrote:Nothing has changed around here

nothing has changed with Islamic terrorists, more beheadings in Mohammed's name.

"Our values are at stake," French Prime Minister Manuel Valls said on Wednesday after hearing about the video. He would not comment further, but minutes earlier he insisted that France would continue fighting in Iraq as long as necessary.

'

Salaam Muslima. Things have changed, at least a bit. Islamophobe has pulled back a bit from posting inflammatory, racist like statements. She realized that she didn't have a following. But as you can see, not entirely. lol

Salaam my dear. I haven't had time to read everything I missed, life has been busy on my side of the world but I see there are still some people willing to have an intelligent debate Wish you & your family have a wonderful & blessed Eid!

Eid mubarak to you as well! I hope they have not discouraged you from posting.

No, not at all I have just been traveling a lot for work,so do not post as often as I used to but things are going to be back to normal, hopefully soon inshaAllah!

"The problem is that you’re talking about a religion of one and a half billion people, and certainly it becomes very easy to just simply paint them all with a single brush." Sums it up!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Muslima wrote:Nothing has changed around here

nothing has changed with Islamic terrorists, more beheadings in Mohammed's name.

"Our values are at stake," French Prime Minister Manuel Valls said on Wednesday after hearing about the video. He would not comment further, but minutes earlier he insisted that France would continue fighting in Iraq as long as necessary.

'

Salaam Muslima. Things have changed, at least a bit. Islamophobe has pulled back a bit from posting inflammatory, racist like statements. She realized that she didn't have a following. But as you can see, not entirely. lol

Salaam my dear. I haven't had time to read everything I missed, life has been busy on my side of the world but I see there are still some people willing to have an intelligent debate Wish you & your family have a wonderful & blessed Eid!

Hey OP, do not give up, you can make some changes today that will definitely make you feel better in the long run, but change takes time, so do not try to make all these changes at once, it will be overwhelming and you might just give up. Prioritize. What is more important to you currently? If you could choose one thing on your list to have starting today which one would it be? More sleep? eat healthy? exercise? Whatever it is, choose one thing and make it your goal to get better at it for the next 30 days and just work on that one thing, and when you get that emotional boost and feel better, you can add another thing. When it comes to exercise, you don't need an hour, find something you can do at home, while your kids are playing or just sitting around. I love "30 days shred" by Jillian Michaels ( and you can get it on Youtube for free). What I love about it , is its only 25 minutes, so no matter how tired I am, i can motivate myself to do a 25 minutes workout, and my DD joins me (she is 4) and does all the moves as well, so you can do this with your kid as well and make it into a fun activity, and you will start seeing results very soon with that workout. For healthy eating, try to make a list of what meals you want to make for the week, look @ your pantry, see what you have in stock first, try to use whatever is there , most of the time, we have tons of stuff just sitting around in the pantry that never gets used, so start by that, and then work around what you have, write a list of what you need to make the meals for the entire week and buy only that, no junk, sodas, ect. Try to drink more water. If you don't like the taste of water like me, add lemon , or a fruit that you like in it, cut fresh strawberries, oranges, or cucumbers and add a few to your water, it makes it taste better. Good luck and do not give up, you can do it ~

Anonymous wrote:Little Gym - Chantilly or Fairfax - is my favorite for 5 year olds. We've been to Michaels; it's okay (tight space, not festive). Parks and Rec have a ton of pavilions, but be careful about the weather (price is great, most have bathrooms, plentiful parking, and fantastic play areas). Ideaventions is good, but some girls don't like it (lots of loud noises, robots/machines). Reston zoo is good (far for you?). I don't recommend martial arts for girls, as we've been to a bunch and for whatever reason, the girls don't like them.

I really liked Little Gym bit they were booked on the days I was looking for

Thank you everyone. We called a bunch of the places recommended and most did not have availibility for the day/time slots wanted. I didn't know they filled up shop quickly since I'm planning almost 6 weeks ahead. I think we will settle with Alexandria Coliseum in Annandale, though I've never been, so will need to go visit but they have bounces, and lots of slides/jumping equipment that I think 5-6year old would like and the reviews online were good, so we will see. Thanks again!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:American Girl at Tysons (they have a party room)
Kilnz (pottery painting) in Vienna

I think PP means Kiln & Co.

Thank you for clarifying because I couldn't find it. Has anyone also used "Ideaventions" for that age group? Thanks!`

Thank you PP. I will check out Klinz, I thought about American Girl but because we will also invite boys, I don't know how fun it would be for them

Hello,

I am looking for ideas for a birthday party for a girl turning 5 preferably in the Mclean/Vienna/Tysons area. If you've had a good experience with a place, please do share. We are open to other areas close by as well. Date would be around mid-end October.Thanks!

Nothing has changed around here

Now I am off to my saturday. Have a peaceful Saturday guys. Ma Salaama

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The particular posts were reported and Jeff contacted me. While he sympathized, he said the thread was extremely long and it would be a very arduous task for him to delete every single post that contained the racist comments. It would take him an entire afternoon. Upon reflection, I realized that perhaps it is indeed best such racist remarks are permanently recorded in that thread, because it provides the clear evidence how deceptive islamophobes inquire about Islam under the guise of intellectual curiosity, when, in fact, their motive is far more sinister.

PP again. Really? Or did Jeff say the problem was that it would take all afternoon to read a 22-page thread? I'd really be interested in Jeff's take on this. The "racism" that got you so outraged was when one poster (not me) pointed out that many converts to Islam are African American. I'm fairly sure that's a fact. You guys banged on for pages about how racist it is to say that. Jeff, I'd be really interested in your opinion.

It has to be said, that one poster (again, not me) called Mohammed a pedophile 2-3 times, and somebody (again, not me) told Muslima to go back to Iran. And you guys certainly held your own, calling Mary a slut even more times and flinging the ad hominems left and right. However, what are we to make of your claims that immigrants are "rich' and many converts are white - don't these statements seem equally racist?

I'm actually quite happy that thread is still up, if for no other reason that anybody who wants can see how shallow your claims of racism and Islamophobia really are.

The OP reported a single post that was several pages from the end of the thread. I replied that it was likely that particular post had been quoted or referenced many times in the rest of the thread and it would take me all afternoon to remove every quote and reference. But, I am content with your interpretation as well since they amount to the same thing.

There is no "one" Islam. Sunni Islam, in particular, is decentralized much like protestantism in Christianity. So arguing whether Islam is "peaceful" or "violent", for instance, is a fool's errand. It is both, just as are almost every other religion. The only way that you can constructively have this sort of conversation is to take specific topic and discuss how they are addressed by Islam. The goal cannot be to determine whether Islam is "right" or "wrong" or "better" or "worse", but simply to understand how Islam treats the topic. In all likelihood, there will be more than one answer for most topics.

The Islam practiced by IS grows directly from the Wahhabism practiced centuries ago in the Saudi peninsula. It has the same roots as the Islam practiced by al-Qaida and the "official" Islam of today's Saudi Arabia. However, those are all branches of the same tree that diverged some time ago. Many of the traditions and precepts are alien concepts to the vast majority of the World's Muslims. Drawing conclusions about Islam based on the actions of IS is about as accurate as explaining Christianity based on how it it practiced by the Westboro Baptist Church.

I haven't read the entire other thread, just enough to know that I didn't want to waste my time reading it, but as far as I know, many Muslims in America are African American. However, I don't know how many are "converts" as opposed to those born into the religion. I believe conversion was much more common during the 1960s, but I haven't seen any data on this. I don't know how any discussion of the topic would be considered racist unless that was being argued in order to somehow tarnish the religion (eg. "it's only a religion for black people which means it's inferior" and I don't thing that was happening).

I also have little tolerance for the constant attacks on Muslima. Anyone who uses a username on DCUM gets a target on their back -- including me -- and it is really annoying to be followed thread to thread by people who don't want to do anything other that attack you. Finally, if you find yourself asking questions begin as "why do Muslims" or "why does Islam", you are probably not going to get a satisfactory answer. Muslims are not a monolithic block. If you are talking to Muslima, phrase your question as to "why do you..". She appears quite willing to provide the answers.

I totally agree with that! Among Muslims of all hues we will get 100% consensus on the subject of Tauheed (Oneness of creation), Muhammad (pbuh) the last Prophet, and several other items that most will agree. However there are many areas we differ and perhaps partially agree, we have the God given right to have a different perspective. No one should even dream of compelling anyone to conformity, it simply goes against the human Fitra (nature). Even the closest companions of the Prophet (PBUH) differed from each other in understanding various verses. Also, since there is no concept of official church in Islam no one interpretation can command following of a majority of Muslims, let alone all Muslims. These differences, more often than not are due to different interpretations of the Qur'anic text.
There are various reasons for this. Firstly, the Qur'anic text is very rich and can be understood in ways more than one. Secondly its language often tends to be symbolic or allegorical and hence these symbols and allegories carry rich social and cultural meanings and its shades of meaning can change with different socio-cultural backgrounds. Thus, often social and cultural factors can often play an important role in understanding of the Qur'anic text. Thus, those scholars who have been brought up in modern societies with its own intellectual traditions tend to understand the text differently from those who studied the text under medieval ethos and its own intellectual traditions.

Now the orthodox 'ulama of course insist on medieval understanding of the text as final and irrevocable whereas modern scholars, of no less intellectual integrity and knowledge, insist that there can be a multiple understanding of the holy text. Today this debate between the orthodox and modern scholars has been going on practically in every Islamic country. Also, new issues and questions are emerging which cannot be answered with medieval understanding of the text. Breathtaking discoveries and changes have taken place in the last two centuries and these revolutionary changes cannot be ignored if the Qur'an has to play any role for Muslims in modern society.

Finally any person or groups of people who believe imams/scholars are infallible are upon falsehood given that in the Islamic doctrine Only God is Infallible, so to that PP quoting me Bin Baz & Quaradawi, maybe you think I consider them infallible? They are learned scholars but remain human beings as such I respect their interpretations of the Quran, I respect their dedications to the deen, but I have the right to disagree with any of their opinions, this is a God-Given right to any Muslim by the Almighty. The Quran is the only thing I regard as infallible, scholars are human beings, sometimes they get it right and sometimes they get it wrong!

Anonymous wrote:

Muslima wrote:
I am not angry because of challenges faced on a thread, com' ON ! If you should know real life islamophobia is harder to survive than online rhetoric, you can just turn your computer off and move on. I have said it before and will repeat it. What is offensive is for someone to cut and paste random verses of the Quran totally ignoring the context the verses were revealed in, totally ignoring what the verses are referring to and blatantly using this to advance their own propaganda. Self-imposed ignorance is offensive! But being challenged by what Islam is or teaches? No, i don't have that challenge! And btw, my "self-interpretations" of Quran, no dear, I studied and read, studied and read for years with scholars who studied and read for decenies, whatever I present, when I present it as "Islam" you better believe it is not my personal interpretation, but when I say in my opinion, then yes you can take it as such! And one little note stop saying "readers did not find x, y, z", nobody made you speaker of the house~

You guys started this entire thread to vent about your anger towards so-called Islamophobes and Racists on DCUM.

Nobody here has denied the existence of Islamophobia in the real world: I have not seen a single person on either of these threads deny that Islamophobia exists in the real world.

The point is, we are quibbling about your DEFINITION of Islamophobia, which you have extended to include all those DCUM "Christian/Crusading/Evangelical/Racists" who merely asks questions about your statements, and/or provide alternative points of view.

Remember, you're talking to Muslima..... go and quote where I've used those words or started a thread

Anonymous wrote:

Muslima wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Muslima wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The topic of THIS thread is NOT "TELL ME ABOUT ISLAM."

I do not want to know much more about Islam other than the last two questions that I asked you that you simply cannot seem to answer when you seem to be so verbose about so much else.

You're very defensive, Muslima, they are simple questions. Speak the truth. Is that not something the Koran commands you to do among so many other things?

Did you even bother to read the opening post of this thread?

As far as your questions are concerned, they have been treated over and over, believe me, they are very "basic" questions. No need to go on and on about why I didn't answer as it is some sort of sacrilege. I can't keep repeating myself over and over. Like I told you in a previous post if you didn't get it then, you won't get it now. Repeating/doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity, I choose to stay sane!

You never provided any numbers to back up your claim that Islam in America (or anywhere) is growing more by conversion than by immigration. [Would you like to take that back, or acknowledge it was your opinion that isn't confirmed by actual statistics?

Go and bring the quote where I made that statement

Well I have to apologize since it seems it wasn't you, it was your passionate friend, posted at 00.27

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/120/405354.page

No worries, she hasn't brought the answer either.

You two seem to be close. Maybe you can figure something out?

I hope you see how outrageous claims like this make you two so...dismissable.

I actually do not know her, by yeh I guess we are very close