Anonymous wrote:This is OP- thought I'd give an update since people seemed interested. Last night was night 3 of 'no interference dinner'. We incorporated a few of the things people suggested, plus a couple other things.
First, we made a clear-set start to dinner by saying a blessing- something which we never did before, but a friend suggested incorporating some kind of ritual to formally start meal time.
Then, we set a 20 minute timer. I use a timer we got from a Lovevery kit, which has a color countdown, so she can see how much time she has.
I am continuing to serve her the same food that we eat, which always includes something she likes.
And, we've eliminated desserts, just to get rid of the whole: you didn't eat enough dinner to have a cookie argument.
Both DH and I have ceased commenting at all on how much she eats.
Day 1 was very stress inducing (internally) for me, because she ate NOTHING. She was giving us side-eye the whole time waiting for us to say something, but otherwise seemed pretty happy about the evening. No arguments at all.
Day 2 she ate a good 1/3 of the food on her plate, which was amazing. No arguments whatsoever.
Day 3 dinner was a little late, and she had a hangry tantrum about the existence of cauliflower. Once she calmed down though, she nibbled at her chicken and couscous, and ended the evening in a great mood.
Overall, I'd say that so far, this is mostly a success. She's happier, I'm happier that she is happier, and I enjoy not being the mean food police. BUT it is still a serious struggle watching her not eat. I've pulled up this thread a few times and reread it for reassurance that she's not starving, and that's been helpful.
Thanks for the update OP. The fact that you've seen progress in 3 days is awesome!